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Posted: 8/6/2008 9:20:38 PM | If people were not emotionally wounded, they would not be seeking solace in a drug.
I just want to add something here. Drug Dealers commonly peddle their Wares in Social Settings such as Get Togethers and Parties, and many People who try are just being sold on the Idea that Drugs is "Only a Choice", dismissing the Concept of Addiction, often telling their Clients to just stop whenever they like. Sometimes Boyfriends turn out to be a Dealers and the "Trust Factor" keeps the unsuspecting Victim hooked. You don't have to have a Problem to "try it and see if you like it" as they call it. Drugs can physically injure the Person esp. from Overdoses and develop mental Issues, and in some Cases, go psychotic for shorter or longer periods of Time.
I am more inclined to believe Street Drugs as well as any other poisonous or damaging Substances, and possibly even other Medications bring on Mental Health Issues because of its use. I seriously question after a Decade or so of poisoning the Body as well as subsequent Mental/Brain Damage if "Emotional Wounds" from Upbringings still have any Bearing on anything. Maybe there comes a Point of no Return for some, where most the these "Wounds" which have been inflicted in the Course of the Drug Addiction are simply not remediable. Perhaps Chemical Damage, physical and Mental is not reversible, regardless what Treatment is being used.
If you sometimes look at these Addicts, the physical Injuries, Deformities and Illnesses they have suffered during the Course of their Life on Drugs often seem far harsher than anything that could have possible happened to them in Childhood.
One for drug addicts, one for the dying.... multi addiction facility and lock everyone up until they either die or clean up?
The Law prescribes a Life Sentence for those who are convicted dealing Heroin and Cocaine and 20 for Crystal Meth. Until they actually apply the Law and make some Examples what happens if anyone deals in these Substances, there is nothing that deters them. In one Night with a good Camera Setup near Carral & Hastings, they should be able to bust at least a half a Dozen of these Clowns. Unfortunately its often the coked up Users who are out selling on the Street who care not what happens to them, not the Top Dogs. | |
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Posted: 8/6/2008 9:27:02 PM | "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
- Leo Buscaglia | |
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Posted: 8/6/2008 10:07:37 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Bella...and Red... I get it darlings...we have been there and seen the homeless up close.
Hugs are good...very good...but it will take more than Empathy and Good Wishes.... the residents in the DTES...homeless and others deserve to live in a good and caring community...a supportive community....they all need a Hand Up...but really now there has to be a plan and a course of action and some tough actions and movement here.
yup... a gentle smile, a hug.... empathy is good..they are real people...but what would we do if it were our family?...our child? We would do something to stop them, to remove them from the situation. We would be jumping up and down and yelling and screaming to punish those who are facilitating our loveone to kill themself.
We talk about getting tough on crime. What are we doing about it?
You decapitate someone you get arrested. You kill someone you are punished.
so...what are we doing to the people who are poisoning people downtown?
like drug dealers don't have bank accounts and assets? | |
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Posted: 8/6/2008 11:34:12 PM |
The Law prescribes a Life Sentence for those who are convicted dealing Heroin and Cocaine and 20 for Crystal Meth. Until they actually apply the Law and make some Examples what happens if anyone deals in these Substances, there is nothing that deters them. I don’t claim to have the answer to the problems of E. Hastings, but I think the United States has proved that imprisonment for drug users is a futile effort. Roughly 50% of the U.S prison population is drug related, 25% is marijuana related. The financial drain is so great that a few states have privatized the penal system and turned it into a “for profit” organization, once this occurs, where’s the incentive to keep anyone out of jail… do we really want to go down that road?
Do you know how many of "Your" street addicts were given their 'start' on the road to Hastings by a Doctor.
Based on Patient Case Files I have investigated, I speculate better than 70% got their Start that Way. Government sanctioned drug dealers hand out anti-depressants like they were M&M’s, and they are rewarded for it with 6 figure salaries, a new Mercedes and a home in Shaughnessy, and yet we sit here complaining about the people on Hastings St…. could our society be any more messed up? | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 12:09:21 AM | ^^^^^^^
So much truth in that post, and many others on here. It is a very hot topic and one that certainly cannot be "summed up" in a few lines, thoughts or ideas. (for that reason I have fled numerous times while following this thread).
There are problems that are as age old as man. Go back to biblical times and the discussions on poverty. Seems that there has always been those who have had and those who have had not.
I have had many experiences (far too many to mention them all) with addictions. I lost my older brother and nearly lost one of my younger ones. The younger one was able to hold on to the life line thrown to him, the older one chose not to. I used the word chose there intentionally as I do believe that everything inevitably comes down to personal choices. What we do with what we are given, how we deal with what we are dealt and how we recover from the impacts of life.
I am privileged to know many recovered addicts and the ones that I know that have succeeded have all accepted responsibility for where they were and where they are going.
I will always have compassion for those who have chosen to suffer, there are so many ways to go through life rather than being dragged through it kicking and screaming.
There is definitely both the lack of resources and prioritizing at multiple levels of government and society for me to come up with a viable solution to the situation on the DTES. I do know that way back in the 60s and 70s it was a visible problem and it has just spread out and grown.
I guess change has to start in shifting our beliefs and attitudes. Baby steps. I feel for all of those who have lost a loved one, still in all, I still do believe that my brother could have made different choices. He was not a victim.
I've seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's
like a settin' sun. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 12:32:46 AM | There will never be a real "war on drugs". In the so-called war on drugs south of the boder not one user was ever shot, nor was there any effort made to attack the users.
Trying to attack the business people who deal drugs is economically stupid. Economics tells us this strategy can never be successful. All attacking dealers does is increase the cost of supply for products which have quite inelastic demand. The high returns thus created as the prices go up, encourage more business-people to enter the market.
Until somebody starts shooting junkies, or otherwise convincing poeple not to want to buy and use drugs, there can be no solution. The only economic solution I can fathom is to somehow reduce effective demand for drugs... | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 7:01:07 AM | Emotional scars from childhood ... I'll keep this as short as I can ..
That WAS My "Gateway" to drugs. I Was a very shy, "good" little girl, got straight A's in school ... I did my best, tried my hardest.. to make everything ok at home. I thought (in my Child's mind) that I was responsible for the things that the adults around me didn't take responsibility for...
By the age of 5 I knew what suicide meant And I knew that my Mom (might) attempt it. She was on pills way back then. I was Five. That was also when my 2nd stepfather started telling me how much he hated me, he spit in my face when I was four! But by 5 I guess he figured I was big enough to toss around ... he used to drink alpine beer from a can .. My mom finally took me and my younger sisters and we "ran" when I was 10. We actually had a year or so when it was just mom and us girls. I still played the mom role cuz she worked and I felt good about myself getting her approval doing the Cinderella thing.
Then she met 'him'. Let's call him Arnold. Arnold liked women with little girls. He also had several shotguns, pistols and rifles that he stowed in various spots around the house .. I was 12 when he started using those weapons to 'get what he wanted' .. He blamed mom - said she wasn't doing her duty as a wife and he "had to .. blahblahblah" .. I was 12.
When I turned 13 things were sooooo incredibly bad in that house - I became suicidal. First I thought of killing him with one of his own guns, but my mom who by then was drinking to pass out from the time she came home from work .. I thought she hated me and I thought that If I did shoot him, she'd hate me more .. Somehow I managed to Believe that the whole situation was My fault and "they" would be a lot better off if I wasn't there.
My first Drunk (drink/drunk - same!) was when I was 13. From there I ran to ANYTHING that would stop my thoughts = ANYTHING that stopped the nightmares and ANYONE who could make me believe they "loved" me.
Running 100 miles an hour on a path of self destruction.
I hit the streets by the time I was 15 .. that was 35 years ago.
The Thing that gave me my Start on that long dark, lonely, self loathing road of addictions, pills, needles, booze, user men = Was Severe child abuse. Getting clean was NOT easy - All those horrid memories came flooding back, my mom was dead, no way to reconcile .. my sisters? I've no idea to this day what became of one, the other I'm not at liberty to say.
That is a very short summary of what got me started and took me to the Hastings of yesteryear. These days it is doctors who would send me back! Jeezuz!! They want to give a pill for every little thing! Just a few years back my doc couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, insinuated it was in my head and so I said - "Send me to a psychiatrist then! If the problem is in my head - lets deal with it!" .. I saw the psychiatrist, he said I was Perfectly Normal (haha) BUT he also wanted to give me Prozac!!! I asked him why, if I was normal, would I need that. This "do no harm" quack said "Well, you do have a lot on your plate, you might as well be happy while you deal with it!" .. I will not repeat what I told him.. bleep bleep bleep~!
Last year I was a victim of smoke inhalation (propane dryer fire). After being on oxygen many times over the first few months, I went in to a little sad spell. The doctor working emerg. gave me prescriptions for Paxil . OMFG! That was just great. I was on that crap for less than a week, it took over a month - with the help of another frikkin pill (ativin) to get off it "safely" - it DOES warn that it "might" cause suicidal urges! .. Just what I needed - last year was the year from hell. The ONLY reason I didn't end up with a New addiction is because I have been Addiction free for 15 years and I am Paranoid about most of the crap that's out there. Otherwise, I might be needing a pair of sox .. or just a big wooden box.. sigh ..
Child abuse. We grow up. We never forget.
FYI - I have healed most of those old wounds - I have also beat the odds, very few with my background ever get this far - Alive, addiction free and 'relatively' sane.
If we Really valued OUR children, if we Really Loved each other .. If we could ALL just put our judgements aside and Help each other out, even if that means just a kind word .. then we Might have a start on Ending the Need for Escape.
I was a good little girl.. straight A's .. I was one of those kids who Really could have been someone. I'm sure that many of those in Hastings right now have very similar stories .. many are likely worse. Most don't know that anyone cares, let alone loves them. If you can convince an addict that they are loved - They (might) get Another brand new Start. The Gateway to recovery might be You.
Linda
as is | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 7:12:16 AM | AS ^^^
I struggle to find the right words.... these just do not convey what I feel and try to express.
Kudos for fighting back and being strong and managing to survive.
People simply should not have to endure what you have.
It breaks my heart every time I hear or read stories like yours.
OR | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 7:15:05 AM | Thank you Linda! You are not alone in your experience. But, YOU are one of a kind for telling it!
Emotional scars from childhood ...That WAS My "Gateway" to drugs. I Was a very shy, "good" little girl, got straight A's in school ... I did my best, tried my hardest.. to make everything ok at home. I thought (in my Child's mind) that I was responsible for the things that the adults around me didn't take responsibility for...
Most don't know that anyone cares, let alone loves them. If you can convince an addict that they are loved - They (might) get Another brand new Start. The Gateway to recovery might be You.
DITTO!!!
In fact, by five I can remember doing the "Choking game" with my much older brothers to get high.
No substance involved, just a rush of oxygen to the brain after a sudden extreme lack of it.
It's getting a lot of press lately, as though it is a NEW thing.
Also, "most don't know that anyone cares let alone loves them" because often, no one does.
It's easy to ignore/hate/blame someone who's appearance and behaviour is repugnant when compared to the mainstream.
It is necessary and commendable NOT to turn a blind eye if the problem is to be truly addressed and solved!
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Posted: 8/7/2008 8:15:17 AM | | Thank you Linda for being so brave in telling your story and helping those who may not understand the link between child abuse and neglect and addictions to begin to understand that there is a link. You have made a lot of yourself in your life and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Thank you for showing those that doubt that there is hope for the people who are living on Hastings and the rest of the DTES and in other inner city neighborhoods (or any other neighborhoods) and struggling with addictions. Can you share what it was that helped you to come back? I'd feel very priviledged to hear. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 8:39:22 AM | Amen Linda!!! all those darn pills as an answer to anyone's problem is HOGWASH!!!
think back to centuries ago when there was no such thing
people relied on sources from our earth and each other to help themselves thru anything
this is exactly what i mean about our govt throwing their cash around as a quick bandage without really truly taking care of their own people and yes.. all those on hastings are their own!
it takes a village.. not a damn pharmaceutical 
I have a friend up north, a young man whom is going thru differcult time mentally .. I am concerned and try to get him to get to the root of the problem to talk about it. His doctor instead tells him its just all in the mind and prescribes paxil
Linda... preach it sister
edit; psst... you're added ;) | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 8:41:15 AM | Can you share what it was that helped you to come back? I'd feel very priviledged to hear.
wow .. you just made my eyes leak! It is a huge compliment to one who was once among those who were unloved, unlovable to have someone actually Want to Hear.. let alone express it would be a priviledge! wow ..
I would be absolutely thrilled to share any of my story .. It gives a 'little' validity to having lived it when I have the honour .. the priviledge of being heard. That IS one of the things that has been my greatest "tool" on the path I choose today - being heard.
I think though, that I may be pushing it to spew much more of my personal stuff here in "your" forums .. not that I have any issue with it .. but there are rules, and I do want to stay in the pond ;). As for confidentiality - I am an open book, I truelly believe that I didn't just endure - I Survived for a reason, and I believe a HUGE part of that reason is to help those who are right now where I once was, as well as to maybe shed a little light on some of the issue(s) for those who have had a less chaotic beginning.
There are a few peeps from BC who I've befriended over the past few years, a couple of them keep prodding me to "Write that book!" .. maybe I should do just that ..
Honestly though? I would much rather do a speaking thing. I am a lonely soul, even today I spend most of my time pretty isolated and while I can and do some writing, I don't get much chance to just talk. I would love to "just talk" my tale and answer questions while I did .. hmmm... I'm poor as crap .. maybe I could make my life story .. my new career!
Celtic - Thank You. Maybe a thread about Recovery from ~ Whatever a person is recovered/recovering from would be appropo?
I would just like to add one more thing, before I get my arse outta the BC Locals (before I'm booted out! lol) (btw - it's all good.. I do understand that)..
If You or someone close to you is struggling and you're not sure where to go, where to turn, need to vent - Whatever .. please pm me .. Whether I know you or not, whether you believe me (yet) or not - I Really do give a sh.t. I Really do Love You. I couldn't do that .. til I loved me... sigh..
Linda
Thanks everyone 
ps
I've been removed from a couple favorites lists as a result of sharing my stuff .. and I think THAT is a good thing! lol .. weeding! :peace: | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 9:04:58 AM | Linda , that brought many tears to my eyes ..... you r such a surivor
What it really makes me think is .......
What ever happened to "IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO REAISE A CHILD " ?
It makes me wonder if that really applyed, maybe youd have had some one there for you ...someone to lead you down the right path , and know that you were loved very much . | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 9:41:04 AM | Government sanctioned drug dealers hand out anti-depressants like they were M&M’s, and they are rewarded for it with 6 figure salaries, a new Mercedes and a home in Shaughnessy, and yet we sit here complaining about the people on Hastings St. could our society be any more messed up?
So true ... I think the brighter Politicians should be able to figure that out in the next 20 Years, not like they also don't have 6 figure Salaries and new Mercedes' either. One Day this Gig will be up.
I don’t claim to have the answer to the problems of E. Hastings, but I think the United States has proved that imprisonment for drug users is a futile effort. Roughly 50% of the U.S prison population is drug related, 25% is marijuana related.
I agree, very costly, the Costs almost prohibitive. However the Damage created, be it injuries, Deaths, Damage and Hospitalization either equal or supercede that. I would recommend a Rehab (if even possible) and Workcamp related Gig where the Costs can be Off-set.
I used the word chose there intentionally as I do believe that everything inevitably comes down to personal choices.
So very True.
Until somebody starts shooting junkies, or otherwise convincing poeple not to want to buy and use drugs, there can be no solution.
I am inclined to believe that may well be true.
The doctor working emerg. gave me prescriptions for Paxil . OMFG! That was just great. I was on that crap for less than a week, it took over a month - with the help of another frikkin pill (ativin) to get off it "safely" - it DOES warn that it "might" cause suicidal urges!
The fine Art of how to create a Client Base by Dependency and bill the Taxpayer in the Process. If there is a better Racket, I have yet to see it.
In Fact there are psychiatric Treatments for "suicidal Urges" and you can be assessed as having an underlying Mental Illness, even though you may never have had them prior to having taken the Drug. That the Drug may have caused these suicidal Impulses is usually instantly dismissed, as that would only be in Conflict with the Mortgage Payments on the Mansion. Your Life made miserable so someone else can live high on the Hog. I await the Day Fraud Charges are laid against that Industry. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 11:58:56 AM | I really want to say how much I was moved by the Stroy of Alien Secret, and the comtribution of RitaWayward. I wish you both peace and love. A.S... Your desire to "share the love" and tell your story so as to help and encourage others is very moving.
A Lot of people say their journey into drugs started with their own emotional difficulties, abuse, and a BAD family situation.
In fact, my experience this NOT TRUE.
Drug addiction almost universally starts with someone giving the new user FREE SAMPLES OF DRUGS. Initially the person does not pay for the drug. They get free samples, until they begin to want to contribute or to pay for it.
This is in my expereince nearly universal as the method and pathway by which people started drug abuse. This is especially so if the new user is a young woman.
Of course it does the young person (or long-term experienced addict) no good to blame others for her/his addiction. The only route out is to take responsibility for one's own actions....
Yet, I cannot help wondering .... | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 12:29:58 PM | Linda (AS) - Thanks for sharing with us. I am sorry that you have struggled so, but am impressed by your strength. I think your story is inspirational.
Relating this back to Hastings, a lot of the drug addicted probably take to the streets at a young age - run away from homes where they are mistreated or not wanted. I agree with, Ticket, who I believe more or less wrote that the dealers see the wounded as prey. A drug addict has two major problems - the wound and chemical dependency. A further a complication is that the drug addict may have hurt others while using her/his subtance of choice, making sobering up painful. This would be like compounded pain. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 1:33:05 PM | Drug addiction almost universally starts with someone giving the new user FREE SAMPLES OF DRUGS. Initially the person does not pay for the drug. They get free samples, until they begin to want to contribute or to pay for it.
That's usually the Way it goes. Most People who have had poor Childhood Upbringings and/or Abuse do not not end up on Hard Drugs.
Economic Ruin, Relationship Issues, even some physical painful Illnesses and Diseases may well have just as much Credibility.
Nevertheless, the Horse Blinders seem to have been slapped around "Childhood Abuse" Issues to the Exclusion of all other possible Causes .
Relating this back to Hastings, a lot of the drug addicted probably take to the streets at a young age - run away from homes where they are mistreated or not wanted.
Displacing the Victim Status even a little further, many young People got on Drugs long before they left their Homes, often the Result of having burned their own Bridges by Transgressions committed against their fellow Man.
I have witnessed plenty of People who started to drink and dope, then pull off all sorts of anti-social Acts against their Family and Friends, Theft, Vandalisations, then left their Homes with rather large Gray Clouds over their Heads from those seeking Revenge and Payback.
Again, I have no Clue what "drives" this One-Way Street trying to peg everything into the Victim Status, when at least as many Grounds for their Drug Addiction were simply the Result of having been an irresponsible Member of Society in the first Place.
But hey, you can bill the System for Victim Therapy, the Responsibility Sphere belonging to the Legal System. I tend to have far more Faith in the latter as a more effective Method of Treatment than "Victim Love Huddles". Granted, some Abuse, Lack of Purpose and the sheer Monotony on many Reserves can be the perfect Recipe for an Environment that fosters Substance Abuse. Many Natives having been raised in such Places often seek the Hastings Street Sector to get away from it and end up even more addicted.
But telling someone you were the Victim of 'So n' So' to explain away why he got addicted to Drugs (Completely false Reason in many Cases anyways) in the Absence of what Level of Responsibility is required to live among current Society will only guarantee that Person will again swing around in "Revolving Door" Treatments.
We are all just too familiar with this Human Trait and what happens when you catch somebody lying, vandalising, stealing, etc.
First Thing they'll they'll do is explain, justify and rationize away their Conduct, as well as the common Classic of pointing Fingers at other People.
That is no different when a Drug Addict is in the Hands of a Drug Counselor who swallows Uncle Malcom's fondling Hook, Line & Sinker. By now Druggies don't even have to say anything, as many Counselors will automatically just assume that Childhood Issues are at play and start digging away into Memoryland.
The least palatable Thing the Addict wants to hear is to clean himself up, and take responsibility for himself and others. He'd rather go see another Counselor who'll give him a few Huggles & Tears after he got busted beating an old Lady along Sky train for her Purse to "Live & Exist" another 4 Hours in his peaceful World of Crack.
Druggies know this Tune by now all too well. They get busted Doping, they know exactly who to blame, hoping they get off the Hook, ie. evade being held "Responsible" for themselves.
The very same Thing that strikes the Stake of Terror through their Hearts is the very same Thing that will integrate them back into Society. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 3:15:26 PM | There's a solution... I suspect it requires jack-booted police rounding people up, administering drug tests, and chucking them into detox camps. There must be some former mill town or mining village up the coast that could be turned into a suitable gulag, I mean, gated rehabilitation community.
When I first visited the East Side to visit the dearly departed Smilin' Buddah Cabaret, I thought it was pretty scummy, but the chief problem seemed to be alcohol and general poverty... pensioners in residential hotels. However, in nearly 30 years it's gone way downhill from there... most of the real neighbourhood businesses have closed, leaving boarded up storefronts or sketchy "convenience stores" that sell crack under the counter.
There's some great old buildings there, if you look up as you drive down Hastings. I really hope that part of the city can be preserved and cleaned up, not demolished.
Victoria has it's problems, too. I was helping at a festival last weekend, and it was creepy how the public square was taken over by open drug dealing and crack smoking after the festival closed down. | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 7:30:04 PM | Linda thank you so much for sharing more of your story. I am truly honored to hear what you have to say. You are providing a lot of insight for people into the dynamics of the addiction cycle. I am really looking forward to your book.
I wish that I had written a book about my Dad's life too...and his struggles with mental health, alcohol abuse and tobacco addiction (which was what eventually killed him)...it's one of my big regrets now that he's gone. He was from a family where there was a lot of wealth and privilege and attended one of the top private schools in BC...yet was a victim of child abuse, neglect, inconsistent parenting and a family pattern of alcoholism. It was these stresses that led to his mental health and substance abuse issues. My Dad was one of the kindest and most gentle men that I have ever known and in his later years, cared for many of his friends who he had met during his time on the streets in his own gentle way. He was a victim of childhood trauma ...but he did not play any victim role. It happened to him. He chose to drink and smoke, both habits that he chose to deal with the pain and isolation of the rejection that society presented him with. The people who accepted him and validated him...when even his family was rejecting him...were his street family.
I am wondering if there have been many grass roots studies done asking the people who live on the DTES (Hastings) about what they perceive as being a viable solution for the problems in their community. We have heard a lot of drastic solutions being proposed by those who are removed from the neighborhood by income and privilege but not a lot from those who live there or are close to those who are. There are likely also a lot more success stories that need to be told. I still believe that there is "Hope for Hastings". | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 8:14:25 PM | I refer those of you considering (or wishing to refute) a possible link between addiction and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) to the study conducted by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) and the Department of Preventive Medicine, Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program.
“In our detailed study of over 17,000 middle-class American adults of diverse ethnicity, we found that the compulsive use of nicotine, alcohol, and injected street drugs increases proportionally in a strong, graded, dose-response manner that closely parallels the intensity of adverse life experiences during childhood.
Our findings are disturbing to some because they imply that the basic causes of addiction lie within us and the way we treat each other, not in drug dealers or dangerous chemicals.”
Google “Ace study” or “Adverse Childhood Experiences” | |
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Posted: 8/7/2008 10:34:32 PM | I really don't believe that it matters what events or lack thereof cause someone to turn to substances to anesthetize their pain. The truth of the matter is, they are unable to cope with their life and they turn to a substance to dumb it down.
Whether they were abused, neglected, bullied, coerced or simply that their mothers wore army boots. No matter how they got there it doesn't change the fact that there is simply only one way out.
They have to accept responsibility for their lives and their actions. They have to learn how to love themselves and how to cope with their reality. They have to realize that they have absolutely no control over the substance and absolute control over their choices. They have to quit pointing outside and start the painful journey inward. Yes, they have to rip off those scabs and expose those scars. They have to realize that whatever happened didn't kill them then and it won't kill them now. Then they have to learn how to get past it and recreate themselves. It is more than inspirational when we encounter those who have that courage, as they personify strength that few of us possess. (I have to acknowledge A.S as she is an example right here in our midst!!)
I don't know, sometimes everyone gets so caught up in the excuse making and believing that this somehow expresses compassion. Honestly, anyone who has gone through recovery knows better than the rest.......the addict does not need anymore enabling.
Sure we all need to feel acceptance and love, that is a condition of being human. What is not required is buying into the BS that the addicts have fed themselves and everyone else for so long they don't know where it begins and the truth ends.
Some of them will find their way out of the mire and some of them will die there. That is simply the way it is, no matter how sad and tragic.
I will never understand it but have had to reconcile myself to that reality. | |
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Posted: 8/8/2008 12:15:55 AM |
I've been removed from a couple favorites lists as a result of sharing my stuff
you've also been added by a few who do sincerely appreciate a great mind and heart! | |
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Posted: 8/8/2008 2:57:06 AM | homeless,drug addicts,and prostitutes,there are as many reasons ..
..for these situations (life styles) as there are people.....
these life styles have been around for a long long time,
and aren't going to go away anytime soon...
we all have a story ,how they got there is their story....
each person down there found their way in....
......and each person down there has to find their way out.
in order to help anyone, they have to want the help,for the help to work.....
that's why most interventions of don't work....
i don't think you can ever really fix an area,of any city...
you can move the problems from one place to another...
but that's not going to fix anything....
it not simply a location problem ...it's a people problem.....
you have to fix or help the people one person at a time....
its a big issue and there are lots of questions...but there are few real answers...
because if every homeless person,drug addict,and prostitute were magically transported to a different or better life (omg.. we saved them all )
there would be a whole new crew of homeless,drug addicts,prostitutes with their own stories ...
......about how they got there to take their place almost immediately...
now is there hope for Hastings....of course there is ....because all is lost if not for hope. | |
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| HOPE FOR HASTINGS???
Posted: 8/8/2008 7:35:10 AM | I am very well aware of the fact that not 'everyone' who ends up in Hastings or places similar came from some horrendous childhood. However; I am all too aware of the Fact that the numbers speak for themselves in that the Vast Majority of those who end up as societies outcasts .. the "Them and They" that 'we' speak of.
"They" are all human beings with hearts and souls and whether they are safe to show you their pain or not is irrelevant to the Fact that "they" suffer more than those who've never known that life can ever know.
As for the 'notion' that "They" must rescue themselves? Do 'you' have any idea what that means to many who've sunk so low and who sit on "rock bottom"? What it means to those who know that 'you' see as warts on your streets, the dregs of society, the dirty, filthy, irresponsible burden to society - Save yourself!?
OMG .. there is sooooooooooooo much involved, this is Not a cut and dry issue. We are All so individual - even "them". Can 'you' even imagine what it is to so completely hate - Loathe your own self? To Know you are Not worthy of the scraps you pick from the dumpster. Save yourself!
When I was "out there" and even for some time in early recovery - the words "Save Yourself" meant Suicide to me. I did Not believe there was a way out of my pain - and why the hell should I trust 'you' who have no idea, especially when "I" couldn't trust or rely on my own kin and Especially when it was Mom and Dad who taught me how to feel about myself!
The ONLY reason I ended up on the road to Freedom was because of a very few people who crossed my path through the years of my own self-abuse and addictions. A very few people who saw past my exterior to the wounded child inside.. those very few who gave a dam are why I am here. They reached in (to my disbelief) and continued to reach in - despite my reactions and defensiveness. There were very few, over the years, but they were there. "They" saw something in me that I could not see. That same thing is in Every one of those souls in Hastings - but in order for you to see it, You have to give another human being just a little grace. Be grateful it isn't you who Must (or has chosen) to live that way. Think about it - a healthy person with a reasonable self-esteem would Never consider 'that' path.
Before I could care about me, it took strangers .. those few .. to look me in the eye and see me as a person, not to look me up and down in judgement - That does Not help anyone!
There was a lady in Halifax (I was 17), I asked her for a dime, said it was to call my mom (I lied). I just needed another 10 cents to have enough for something. She looked me in the eye and handed me a whole dollar! Then, more than the dollar, she said "I hope your luck changes my dear" and she walked away. In Vancouver (I was 16) heavy into the speed .. a couple took me in, fed me and gave me a bed for the night! I was so shocked and felt they must have had a hidden agenda, I left before they woke up in the morning .. and yes I did - I stole a $20 from her purse! In St.John (at 15) Wally hired me - a real job! I robbed him. He hired me back, I robbed him again! That happened 3 times. A few years after I'd gotten off the streets (joined the military = high as hell!) (And they took me! .. they don't take streeters these days!) .. I went back to see Wally .. to apologize. As soon as he saw me, he came out of the back room and gave me a hug!!! Holicrap - not what I expected... Sure was what I needed though.
Most of the kindnesses that I was shown didn't really sink in until many years later. While I was on the streets and years later when I was still into a few addictions it just wasn't "safe" for me to be vulnerable enough to "feel" those sorts of things.
Today I know that if it weren't for the kindness, the compassion and the Love - despite a lack of "understanding" .. if it weren't for those seeds being planted when I was useless, disposable, dirty, self-destructive .. one of "Them" .. I would Never have survived.
Last week right across the highway from where I live, a Young man of 25 hung himself. He had been put on Rytalin as a child because he was 'too hyper' for the teacher(s). As he got older, he turned to a pill for every woe until he was quite addicted to our latest wonder drugs - the Opiates that doctors hand out. He was trying to get clean .. "They" our psych/addictions workers took him off the stuff cold turkey, kept him on a ward for a few nights and sent him home on "anti-depressants". A couple nights later his girlfriend found him swinging. ... He "saved" himself, His pain is over. His girlfriends, his mothers, brothers, fathers, friends and neighbours? We are all much heavier in our hearts. He was one of "Them".
Our whole society is in crisis. Rather than argue about "why" - we are long overdue on the solution. It starts with caring for a person who doesn't care about themselves .. loving the unlovable, until they love themselves.
A.S.is
To you who've sent them - thank you for all the amazing notes! wow .. what a turn around for me .. And to those who've added me to their faves You are the flowers that have replaced the weeds that couldn't handle my garden anyway! .. Thanks
Love Love Love | |
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