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| | I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?Page 19 of 24 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24) | The truth is this. Rapists are basically losers who can not get a girlfriend no matter how hard they try. These losers see everyone around them, including those they grew up with, hooking up. Instead of fixing themselves (because men who can not find a girlfriend are defective, inferior, and worthless), they blame other people. And they rape women to get back at those that they blame for their situation.
Rape would disappear if these losers fixed themselves or committed suicide.
Michael | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 5/29/2007 6:23:36 PM | | my advice to you, as completely horrible as what you're boyfriend did you, is to know that everyone is completely different. to Lump every other guy into the category your boyfriend is in (pathetic and disgusting) is just going to short change you. it wont affect him in any way that you are afraid of others, so dont give him the satisfaction of making you feel "ruined". Get counselling and learn to love again. it will be better next time around. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:08:25 PM | Honey....go to counselling....just in general....you learn a lot about why things continue in your life - when you don't even want them. You can work through the selfishness of someone robbing you of your choice.....trust me.....go to counselling. | |
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Rhett1
| | Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 455 | |
| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:42:43 PM | Again...^^^^Because this thread might help someone else. This is a serious subject and if it helps another young person through a rough time, what's the problem with that?
As for those bringing up the age of the thread...talk to the moderators, get the rules changed, then people won't be able to respond to old threads.
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 6/21/2007 4:48:35 AM | For all those wondering, 'WHY" the thread is going, think about it, we live in a crazy, hurtful world,(not all is bad) but you have to admit, it is getting worse.
I agree with the thread sticking, but what I don't age with is leaving it up for younger people. It should be left up for ALL ages. Rapist do not just stay with younger people, they target who ever gets in ther way.
Not to sound morbid, but when a rapist attacks a younger person, it's awful, but when they attack someone who is in there 70's and up, it's unspeakable. These rapes, imo, are the ones that very seldom reach the news, why is that? Because of their age it isn't worth mentioning, I think not. This in fact should be broadcasted more to help those who are unaware how to protect themselves.
So to those who wonder why it's still here, think about your mom, grandma and maybe even little sister, do they not deserve fair warning? | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 6/21/2007 4:52:57 AM | | you should have called the cops and had that worthless peice of shit thrown right into a jail cell with the killers and they would have raped him. thats what he deserves. no guy has the right to hurt a lady like that. he is a peice of shit and will do it again to another lady. do not let him get away with it. if i knew this ***hole, i would be beating him right to death.... | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 6/21/2007 10:07:30 AM | you need to try and keep your confidence up.
Dont let the past haunt you i've let it it happen since i was 13 but now i know to think positive and try new things =] x all guys are differant | |
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HRWild
| | Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 459 | |
| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 6/21/2007 11:26:48 AM | I was raped when I was only 14 - the first time. When I was 16 I was gang-raped. I know that this was hellish for you. You don't have to tell anyone, but there is a rape line and they can help you. Unfortunately, I didn't know that when I was your age. You have to do something to help yourself, because what happened to me comes out in little, crazy ways. I used to dress very sexy and, as I get older, now I keep my body covered in loose clothes unless I am in a relationship with someone I trust implicitly.
After I was assaulted I tried to kill myself because I blamed myself even though I knew intellectually that these animals did this to me because they are sick and need to be locked up. Still, there is a part of us that blames ourselves.
Get help and get it soon before you start to condemn yourself for something a demented person did to you. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:45:58 AM | Hey Becca: how are you? I hope doing well.... I'm very sorry to hear that you were
violated. Be strong enough to overcome it someday, but for now take it one day at a
time. I don't fully understand what you mean by "worthless" but let me say this:
God doesn't make any junk, and He never gives us anything we can't handle.
And, if it doesn't kill you it just makes you stronger!
You shall overcome.
Peace be with you.
Shomesomethin | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/6/2007 7:24:43 AM | rape isn't about sex....its about power and control. stop giving your attacker that power. you are not worthless. you did not ask for this to happen to you.
talk to a professional. trust me, it will help | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:03:55 PM | | I was also raped. He was my husbands best friend. My husband was out of town and he was pretneding to be the helpful friend by coming up to our house to see if I needed any help with anything. He caught my back turned and pushed me down and raped me. I was never the same. My doctor put me on medication, but I still had nightmares. I called the police and filed a report, I went to the doctor and talked to medical professionals seeking some kind of help. He got away with what he did to me because the detective in charge let it slip through his hands. I didn't file a report right away because I was afraid of the effects it would have on my marriage. When I did come forward, my fears became a reality. My marriage ended. Don't let a man like that get away with what he did to you. He will think he won because he thinks he will never have to pay for what he did to you, your heart, your very being...take control and let him and everyone else know what kind of person he is. What goes around..comes around. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:14:47 PM | Rebecca
I want to say Im am sorry this has happened to you or too anyone !
I also want to express concern for your well being , And want to
suggest talking with parents and Let them help you too !
Iwould hope parents will be your confidant and Best friend , I am sure
they would not want any one to inflict pain on there Beautiful daughter !
And , I understand what you are experiencing and it could be from
blaming yourself for what happened , When someone is violating you
in any way ,that person is responsible for there actions , Just as you
are , if you go and hurt/violate someone knowingly & dont care
how they feel .
Would it be there fault ,you acted that way ? NO of course not !
If someone SAYS NO
that is what it means and a persons feelings should be
Respected as a person no matter what ! Put the Blame where it lies , With him
he is the one who is not worthy to TRUST ! And maybe another relationship right now is not
what is really important to you as needing a good friend ! And maybe you
can meet new friends alike in Programs available to women of all ages
that were violated
by other Culprits they trusted too ! We are Helping others by helping ourselves
sharing our experience can be good medicine for everyone involved . Especially if
we are all in the same boat or have been there & been betrayed ,hurt or violated
by other humans !
You are worthy & you are Loveable ,Kind person !
I AM WORTHY "I AM LOVEABLE " I AM KIND & TRUSTING PERSON
And I am a LOVING CARING PERSON
Seek Joy , in your Heart , & Help from the people who Love you & care
about you &
your well being & happiness !
Just know " Jesus Loves you """" you are the apple of his Eye !
And he can be your bestest friend too ' ask him for anything , And ""he will
hear you !There are Great books at the Christian Book Stores , If you have
not ever been to one , May want to go and see what is there , You
may like what you see & discover ! May God Bless you & Heal You
in SPIRIT
" Mind & his LOVE """""""""""""""" There are outreach programs in your city
for others this has happened too , The Hospitals or Domestic Violence programs
can direct you to them and there location & parents can help
you too and go there too if you wanted them too !
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:22:56 PM | | you aren't worthless , as for the looks question i dont know what you look like to be honest but i doubt it. would liek to know more about this though, and i am sorry for what has happened. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:18:49 PM | Rebecca
Sometimes people are afraid of what they dont understand !
And A persons appearrance does not bring happiness to others
Unless it is inappropriate " selfish reason or motives !
Its what is in there Heart ,that is most attractive .
Its how others perceive us . {Men and women }
You posted you are worthless ? And that maybe how you are
carrying or expressing yourself in personality unknowingly .
But GOOD NEWS you are WORTHY and you are LOVEABLE
no matter what you look like !
You deserve RESPECT , KINDNESS & COMPASSION & HONESTY
Maybe the other people you spoke about in post does not want to hurt you !
Or know how to help you ! Or they dont understand whats wrong
or maybe they were not good friends to start with ! I dont know but its
not all negative and its not all you or your fault , Sometimes people have
different reasons for leaving or for staying , But its most certainly
not the end of the world ! It just means its time to move forward
or to get some help
to resolve a problem , problems cannot just be
swept under the rug . "the incident has hurt you very much !
And there is way too much emphasis put into how a guy is towards you
a Boyfriend does not define who you are , Its what we desire to
become & will become
inside that defines you as a woman, I hope you seek some happiness
from with in yourself , have a Hobbie or get involved in a school
program or volunteer at a hospital Or Church the church has
ativities & events all the time . There is so many youth groups
at Church , I hope you can overcome searching for Love in
all the wrong places , Love yourself first and who you are
and want to become as a woman "make yourself Happy
If you dont know how to go about loving yourself or need more skills in
coping in life as a woman Please " ask a professional or someone you look up too !
What really makes you happy ? What do you really want ?
Do you have a talent or gifted in some area ? Do you like to help others ?
What can I do to improve myself too become a happier person
and who canI get to help me ?
Rebecca you are only 17 years old and you have plenty of time and
years to meet a good guy , Use this time for you and your life and what you can
do to insure you do have a future of hope , treasures ,security & financial
security & good friends Spiritual & Self Stability . it all starts now " with you
and the choices you make ! Listening to others who really care about
what happens to you and your happiness is the least painful road to travel !
I know when I was young I thought I knew everything , Come to find out I
knew nothing and people tryed to help me and guide me , I did not listen
I looked for love and approval in a boyfriend or husband and failed each time
It boiled down to I must find contentment and Love in myself . Drugs
and alcohol only
added more pain and distrust to the problem ,because of the people
I was attracting and interacting with was just as sick as I was some of them were "SCARY "people TOO .And the chemicals changed me into someone I didnt
know or want too know and definitely changed them some of those
people acted so wierd , mean & Violent . I did things
I would have not have done if was not messed up ,but I blamed
me for it as if I had not
even drank or used drugs . Like I was just that way ! I ran away
from my problems , only to run into more Abuse from men ! I thought a
man was the answer to all my problems ,and he would Love
me & protect me and take care of me always ' wow was I ever wrong !
I must love me and I must take care of me first , before I can
love someone else in a committed relationship if I want it to last !
But I cannot do any of this alone , I must ask Jesus to help
me in every thing I do !
And now I have
came to believe in Jesus and his Love thru the sorrow and pain I endured
And to think I could have had Jesus in my Life all this time and even had
the relationship I so wanted all my Life . But I did it my way then ,
and it got me
know where , except older all alone and in pain til I
ask Jesus to come and help me to change and overcome who
and what I had become . I go to church now and I believe in Jesus
well the Holy Trinity "GOD " JESUS " THE HOLY SPIRIT
God has been so good to me " I am Happy with where I am and Who I am !
I want Jesus in my Life daily "He is my best best Friend "He is my HERO
And he wants me to be Happy & Loves me just the way I am !
he Forgives me and wants me to call on him daily or every second .
I am still a sinner and I dont like it when I do sin and
have to ask God for forgiveness. But I am better now , than in the past !
Life is Good " even in the Storms of Life and Lifes terms !
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:08:01 PM | Hi Rebecca
You must seek therapy which for victims is available in most cities free of charge( i am not sure where u are located) but if u contact me I can help you find some
You were not at fault for the rape...however you may contribute to future relationships being dysfunctional due to the trauma you endured ( once again not your fault)...if you would like more help for this , trust me , there is lot out there if you know how to access it..and I do
But if you call 411 in your city they will also provide you with emergency numbers , such as rape crisis centers, which do not involve the authorities
Please do as this will affect the rest of your life..never mind how you might raise children in the future...if u want to contact me ...leave a post here..I have a degree in counseling and have a lot of experience and I am also a survivor of rape | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:53:05 PM | | there rebecca hoe you can get the help you need now and believe you you need it i was rape when i was a yong girl i never told anybody but my whole life it fool me up he said he kill me and i believe him now i,m older i getting help and i press charges against him this is his third time the police told me its his word against my no charges will be file i went mad they said unless they can get more on this guy i was living in hell my whole life now i want justice for me so i wait and pray that they get this baster off the street i not afraid anymore so please talk to somebody please get some help god go with you with both of us | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:12:10 PM | There is not talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I first must say that most people have it, they just dont know. When something traumatic happens it splits your brain in half, so to speak, and it usually creates a chemical imbalance. Such as not enough seratonin. BUt what you need to know is, it created in you a person that was not there to begin with. You will act different, think different and be different. You are not a freak, you will react normal for a person who has been through a rough time. No you are not ugly, and you do not push men away. The person that did this to you (any abusive relationship) created in you low self esteem, among other things. You need to go get some counseling, but go to someone who treats and talks about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You can also read about it in a book called "Sanctuary", it is very interesting. First know it was not your fault, you did not ask for it and you didnt deserve it. If your thoughts get out of control, you can call one of many hotlines. If you have a crime victims center close to you, take advantage, it is free, and they know what they are doing and what you are going through. With men, take your time, the trauma might have made you think in a different way. Learn how it changed you, before dealing with another. This counseling and knowledge can also help people understand you and what you are going though, like family members. Please seek help. If you need to talk I am here. I do this for a living.
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:14:47 PM | Rebecca,
I am not one to minimize personal accountability and an individual's choices. Nonetheless, you sound like a car carrying member of the Cycle of Abuse, and you are only seventeen.
Please email me and perhaps I can help you find resources.
~Miriam
***No woman should learn to take a punch by the man she loves more than anyone else! This is not love, but abuse!*** | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:26:27 PM | sweetz76:
I didn't file a report right away because I was afraid of the effects it would have on my marriage. When I did come forward, my fears became a reality. My marriage ended.
Even this is not your fault. There are secondary victims as well in these cases. Your [ex]husband also counts as a victim, though his suffering is very different from yours. I've been a secondary victim myself, but not in your situation. A close friend of mine was raped when I was in middle school, and it took *me* many many years to cope with it, so I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for you. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/1/2007 12:39:24 PM | The Cycle of Abuse is passed down through generations.
Whether it was "legitimate" rape or not will always be a subject of contention, and the Victim will be on trial for her choices as much as the Suspect, as well as the debate over whether the act was consensual or merely morning after buyer's remorse.
Rape is a horrible thing, and people should not be able to pollute the concept by crying foul when oneself made some bad decisions. This dilutes the monstrousity suffered by the True Victims, and creates a lot of skeptics.
Randy, rape is not always about buyer's remorse, and I firmly believe that these women that cry foul do a great disservice to actual rape victims.
To me, a woman that jumps in a car with a stranger in a back alley and then does not get paid for services rendered is not a rape victim, but a nine year-old child with a hickey on her neck that was held down is.
Prostitutes do not deserve to be raped and murdered, but their own choices put them in dangerous positions. We suffer consequences as the reults of the decisions that we make.
Bonafide cases of rape need to be dealt with harshly, though, beceause there is no rehabiliation for a sexual predator, IMHO. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:22:24 AM | | Get some professional help, it's free for vicitms of rape, can find info in the front of any phone book. Rape is a power issue typically, and you are a vicitm. Unless you get help, you will always be a victim, even in your own mind. It can ruin the rest of your life and your relationships. Looks have absolutely nothing to do with relationships. You will never have self esteem if you continue to go through life without couseling. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/8/2007 8:34:15 AM | first of all, if you got raped you absolutly need counseling, your 17, you are not worthless
get help first, don't worry about a relationship until you do
as for being 'forced to do all kinds of things' by your boyfriend,the hard truth is he was never even a friend, friends dont force you to do anything....you dont want to do
the good thing is your young, and you can have a great life, if you want | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/8/2007 8:55:03 AM | a couple more things i would like to say
this is not the ideal place to get advise, you have been raped, and sevearly abused!
did you call the cops on the guy, if not you really should, what happened to you was in fact a crime of violence, please get him off the steets, do it for yourself, and for the others hes going to hurt | |
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