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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:40:28 AM | | dont take shit off any man thats wrong and you should press charges thats something youll have to live with and it shouldnt be allowed to happen to someone else | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 5:41:32 AM | I just read this thread, and I find it interesting that the gal who started it is no longer a member, but people are still giving her advice. I'm pretty sure when you don't see 'view profile' - it means they don't have one.
However, that being said, I'm also adding to the thread just to respond to pisces619... wow dude, you'll be heading on a path to be locked up if you don't understand that a man who forces a woman to have sex against her will is committing rape - not even a husband can force his wife to have sex.
Let me write it slower ... if a woman does not want to have sex - has a headache, too tired, doesn't feel like it - then she doesn't have to - even if they're married. If she says no, and he forces her, it's called Rape.
Is that clear enough for you to understand? | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 5:55:15 AM | | please dont feel like that -------im a man so i dont know these things but please dont think that ----- there are good men out there and im one dont loose hope hun | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 6:21:10 AM | Right now think about this. Your best friend came to you one day and told you that this had happened to her...She told you that she thought that she was not pretty . that she felt that she was at fault. That she should have done things differently that every guy she now sees she cant trust. Now what would your advice to her be? As everyone has said. You need counceling, time to just talk this through with a qualified person. Go to your G.P. AND ASK FOR HELP... You would help your friend get this kind of help I'm sure.. Talk to those close to you that you can trust, and who can help you the very same way you would help your best friend if this had happened to her. Think about the things you would tell her if she put herself down because of her experience.. Think about why you would tell her that she isn't dirty... Its because she did nothing wrong.. Think about why you would tell her that she is beautiful even though she now thinks she is ugly... because her self esteem has dropped so low after being treated this way by this person who hurt her so badly.. the person that was supposed to love her and protect her.. She now cant trust other men.. shes worried they will do the same thing. She feels that she isn't worthy of love because this other guy made her think this... You would tell her no no no.. you are beautiful. you deserve to be loved and you deserve to find that perfect man who will love you properly and take care of you... All those things that you would tell your friend if this happened to her.. tell yourself. because sweetheart this is the truth... You do need the help that others are saying. to talk and cry and get through the pain barrier that will stop you from doing things out of the feelings of low self worth which this guy inflicted upon you. GATHER YOUR SRENGTH AND KNOW THAT YOU CAN BEAT HIM .. He cannot hurt you anymore because you are worth so much better than be affected by his lack of self control and false feeling of power that he thought he could break you with.. You are not broken. You are better than his twisted mind ... Be strong and get the help you need sweetie. You are worth so much more than allowing this to ruin the rest of your life.
With love . Catherine aka star. xxx  | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 10:15:51 AM | When will people learn to smarten up & not put up with other people's crap & abuse anyway? That's what I'm talking about! It just amazes me some people will put up with ANYTHING negative in their relationships. If the person your with cant be your best friend & you cant get along amazingly together why would you be around them at all? Don't make no sense. Yes, rape is wrong, I understand that... but for all people living in abusive relationships I can only roll my eyes & shake my head because I'll never understand them. Too Needy? Don't you think your better off alone? Personally I've focussed on areas of self improvement ie: better career, making more $, developing new interests *YES people there actually is WAY more to life than counting on other people to complete your happiness* So What if you never find love, a soulmate? What's the big friggin deal? Take a vacation, get your motorcycle licence, go camping, try fishing- Do stuff that will make YOU happy & forget the bullcrap- it's not worth it & life is too short to put up with other people making your life miserable. I wont even charge you for this free advice, it should be common sense- Dr. Phil  | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 10:26:39 AM | Note to Carnel- Date Rape is technically what happens to someone out on a DATE. If your already stupidly involved with some obvious psychomoron & your putting up with it then be my guest & call it whatever you want but I dont think the term "rape" actually fits. Thats what I'm trying to say. & people, you should stay away from relationships that make your life miserable. HOLY! So much thread on this when really it should be common sense obvious. I'm thinking I should get a degree & become a councillor so I can help all these screwed up people. Probably make lotsa $$$$. It's just too easy, really... | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:05:26 PM | Lets see now. ? Worthless? Becasue she was raped.?
Lets see if we an toss aroudn a few definitons of worthless women. Not hypothetical either. I've known them all.
- The one who give s her baby heroin shots so it will sleep all weekend so she can go out partying.
- The child basher
- The husband basher.
- The leech who thinks that she's got some automatic right to steal everying of her husdband through the divorce court.
thats only four. Plesee feel free to add some more. The point is it makes a persons sexual history (yes I do know that rape is violent and not sexual) seem kinda petty. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:23:05 PM | OMG! "I don't this the term 'rape" actually fits."
...Oh, I'm so sorry, we just didn't understand...thank you for setting us straight. So, what you're saying is, if a man plans to rape a women...just make sure you ask her out on a date first. Then it's ok... because it's not really rape then. I think your under the impression rape has to do with sex. It has to do with power. So, if a man should beat the !#^$# out of a women on a date, it's ok...because they're on a date. Perhaps you should learn to spell before you count your money "councillor" (sic) and before you give advise.
"So much thread on this when really it should be common sense obvious." ... What? drrrrrr | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:23:32 PM | First, it should be pointed out that abuse and/or rape is inexcusable under any circumstances. It's ashame that you didn't report this person that raped you, especially being that you were underaged and all.
That being said, it's very obvious that you have some serious self esteem problems. I believe a few people mentioned therapy, which may not be a bad idea. However, the main thing you need to do, is convince yourself that you are not worthless! If you continue to think that way, guess what?, people are going to continue treating you in that same way. develop some personal boundaries, and most importantly, enforce them. Otherwise, you're nothing more than a door mat, welcoming the dregs of humanity to walk all over you. I obviously don't know anything about you, but I can safely assume that you deserve better than that, simple because you are human being that needs to be treated with dignity and respect. However, you have to start by treating yourself with that same dignity and respect you want to be treated with.
It sounds like you may indeed need therapy, but even if you just start by making an effort to be around people who know how to treat you well, you probably have a foot in the door. I would also suggest that you hold off looking for that special someone until you do find a way to feel better about yourself. I wish you the best of luck. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:47:27 PM | | One: YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. I have NO tolerance with abuse, and Rape is the worst form. I believe that a Rapist, if not killed outright, should become the property of the victim and/or her family to do whatever they want. He should be their property. End of his story. You need someone to talk to, you need someone who will be a friend even though he's male. You need someone male who will go easy with the friendship and NOT FORCE YOU TO TALK ABOUT IT if you don't want, allow you to cry about it if you want, and allow you to throw a fit on general principals if you feel the need. Someone patient who will care about you and let you realize that you can overcome it, even though it will take time. I am sorry to be a species (male) that has so many that do that. I can tell you all day long that not all of us are like that, and I've been shot, stabbed, and beat trying to get women out of those situations, but your trust is damaged if not broken completely and I don't expect you to believe me. Just believe in yourself. I have faith in you and even though it's un-christian of me, I truly hope he gets EXACTLY what he deserves, in all his agony. I can say that, even though I know you're supposed to forgive. I can't, but you can decide for yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT, and you WILL find someone worthwhile. Maybe not as good as you deserve, but a HELL of a lot better than what you got. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:20:37 PM | | Seek out counseling young lady! Learn to say no! Some guys will say anything to get into a ladys pants.It doesn't change threw out your life. If a man will not wait until your certain you both love each other dump his sorry ass. When you first meet a guy and he's not willing to wait for months, he doesn't respect you,or care for you. There are nice guys out there but your too young to get into a serious relationship.Get a career, be all that you can be. Grow as a woman should then when your older late twentys consider a love relationship. You should have contacted the police and charged the guy!Guys at that age are imature all they think about is sex.Guys don't really mature until the late twentys.To be honest never trust a man until he proves that he can be trusted.Fact of life. You aren't worthless ,you are a fine young women with alot to give to some lucky guy some day.Take your time.You sound like a person who has a big heart and I'm sure alot of people love you.You do have alot of good qualities and looks you did attract him in the frist place so I'm sure your not bad looking.Theres more to looks then outer beauty.Besides if he treated you poorly once he'll do it again.Your better off with out him.I applaud you for having the courage to come forward.Now go see the police.Before he hurts another fine young lady! | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:39:18 PM | | Hello Rebecca my names Patrick. I just wanted to add this............you are NOT worthless. You did'nt do a damm thing wrong. Thees guys will say anything to put you down to make you feel its anyones fault but theres. Thats all I gotta say. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:39:27 PM | | Hello Rebecca my names Patrick. I just wanted to add this............you are NOT worthless. You did'nt do a damm thing wrong. Thees guys will say anything to put you down to make you feel its anyones fault but theres. Thats all I gotta say. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/8/2007 2:26:58 PM | Here's my sense of the ironic coming to the front again.
Allright folks. Tell us all about the most wothless woman youve ever known or known of.
I'll start the stories with one woman I know of
Who divorced her husband before she had her baby, because she ahd been told it would reduce his chances of going after custody.
Once she had custody, firmly established, she went back to court to sue for more maintinance.
For the first year she would give the baby heroin shots on a wekend so it would sleep an she could still go out partying without needing a baby sitter.
Then she dumped the baby onto a girlfriend and took off. The girlfriend started collecting foster parents benifits but she still hung onto themaintinance payment from the ex.
Bring it on folks. Lets just see how totally worthless these women really are compared to Rebecca. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/9/2007 1:48:22 PM | After reading several pages of this thread and scanning for a specific phrase, I did not find the real truth..
Not one person substituted the word WORTHLESS with what you really are------------ A VICTIME OF A CRIME>
I AM NOT saying the words of compasion and advise are wrong, I do agree and the advice is sound. I only wish that it was a CAPITOL CRIME with a manditor sentace of RETROAVTIVE BIRTH CONTROLL | |
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Paul_C
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Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 568 | |
| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:24:11 PM | the one who raped you is worthless piece of ignorant human waste..
no one should ever be let down by any one they trust and give them the key to their heart and personality --
you must let that go -
but you must get help, i am convinced - the layers of bad feelings that are building up in you - need to be let go and understood -- so you need to find some councling not here - this is a site of liers and people doing things here that you are trying to deal with .
problems are only problems if you dont find a soultion
there is no reason any one should be forced into any situation they want to stop -
i hate forums commets but i saw this and i was in the mood to sound off- you need to walk away and dont look back -- - you will find some one to help you leave your troubles behind you and love you forward - you need to heal your faith in love and life - try any way | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:34:19 PM | Dear Rebecca, I cannot give you advise, because you will only do what you want to do. BUT you do have options/choices, like go to Victims Assistance, High School Counseller, or contact a crisis line (call transition house) you do not have to give your name. Call from a phone booth if need be. Give yourself a break Rebecca and break this awful cycle that will only get worse. Be assured that this needs to stop, because the abuse escalates as time goes on, soon you will meet someone who will hurt you even more and perhaps injure you. Someone, or something started this destructive path, and it is NOW you need to help yourself because love begins with loving self, not destroying yourself because someone else is scaring you and taking your power away by controlling you - love and loving does not use control through abuse Rebecca. How do I know? Been there...oh yes, so I know of what I speak, now I am healthy and attract non-abusers. Why? ...cause I love who I am and know that being treated like a doormat is very very unhealthy. Good Luck. Go Girl.....
Amber Grace | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/9/2007 2:49:57 PM | Those guys that did this to you are scum! It did not happen to you because of anything about you. Rebecca, you are NOT worthless. They are jerks who took advantage of you.
I have to ask. How old are these guys that did this to you anyway? Are they older than you? You are very young, so I am wondering if they might actually have committed statutory rape by even having consensual sex with you.
Please, please seek help. Don't try to handle this by yourself. Talk to a school counselor, or friends. Call a crisis hot line. Here is a web site with crisis hot line numbers.
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm
or call this national rape crisis hot line number. 1-800-656-4673
Listen, this is time for you to focus on you and YOUR future. I know this sounds cliché, but it is sooooo true. It's okay and natural to have an interest in boys and to even want to have a boyfriend at your age, but it is REALLY important for you to focus on school. What do you want to do with your life? Think about it, make a goal, seek out guidance to help you achieve that goal. By doing this, you will be building your own sense of self worth. You ALREADY ARE worthy of being treated well, but you just don't believe it yet.
Never mind those stupid guys who are hoping to use you for sex. Tell them all to go to hell because you are waaaaaaaaay too good to be used. You don't need them because you are capable and you are beautiful.
And one last thing, you have more strength in you than you ever realized. Dig deep. It's in there. ...and you are about to prove it by calling a crisis hot line and taking care of business with your life.
Please email me and let me know how you are doing.
I care.
Sincerely,
Soleil
(PS- please don't focus on meeting any guys from off this website. So many of them are up to no good. I would be horrified to learn that my daughter was dating guys from off of one of these sites at 17 years of age.) | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:40:38 PM | | I don't believe it's your looks I think it's your mind. Being as though you didn't sit down and really talk to someone about the rape that may be one of your issues in your relationships. It could be you're looking for love in the wrong people, wrong places. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/10/2007 8:21:21 PM | | hi firstly you must put this behind you in time and time is what your feeling is exactly the way that guy wants you to feel never forget that you did not ask nor did you want to be raped. i don't know if you'll ever be able to trust guys in the future but at least you can make friends out of them which is good and whatever you do take as long as you need to get over this and if you don't ever feel that you can't trust a guy in a relationship ever again don't feel to bad because you must do what is right for you. this will take a long time to recover from but trust me time will heal. and you will find that you will become stronger and a better person from it. just take it one step at a time you must walk before you can run. | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/11/2007 1:22:42 AM | "Courage to Heal"...must read...you're priceless.
At 17 I was immortal-58 finds me living my dreams,as retired as a musician gets.
Priceless -the rapist is worthless. You know being attacked is worthless/ You are worth more than your best daydream! Dream the life you want.Live the life you dream.
Not easy...simple however!
I've been in my dream 50 years...If I can,you otter! | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/11/2007 1:29:29 AM | Yup: "no"= stop now! Whatever or however inticed.All rapists must be proseceted!
Men stand responsible for kids...realise ladies are first(and smarter). | |
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| I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 1/12/2008 7:16:50 AM | YA! umm in my opinion, that bf of yours was by the sounds of it THE BIGGEST****in the world, i dont believe that any women deserves that no matter what they did or didn't do. and you need to do something about this guy because hes gonna keep on doing it to women, ( u can only hope he tryies it on some big biker dude and he gets raped and baried), i dated a girl that went through this before and she was crushed i mean no self esteam at all because someone VIOLATED her in a way that no one can give back, but you know what i told her?
NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE JUST AS BEAUTYFUL AND SPECIAL TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU AS YOU WHERE BEFORE THAT HAPPENED. and then i took her by the hand and looked her in the eyes and said YOU HAVE WALKED THE LONG ROAD OF HARDSHIP AND COMEOUT THE OTHER SIDE SO NOW WHATEVER HAPPENES YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT and i will be there to help you throught if you will let me, then i asked her out and she said yes we dated for 2 years and then she had to move on, and now she is doing so well that she called me and thanked me for telling her that, she tells herself this everyday when she wakes up and every night before she goes to bed. and now i my self have been raped emotionally to know that there are women out there who have gone through this. I AM SORRY on behalf of all HONEST men.
Sincerley: Robert Q | |
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