|
|
|
|
|
| | The 3 Day RulePage 3 of 24 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24) | Hmmm... I seem to be alone in this.
This is called the three day rule for a reason (although I am big on two). The reasoning behind the 'rule' is that far too often, guys would call a woman, too early and too often, again coming across as needy, desperate and clingy. The responses seem to all be coming from the point of view that the female is already interested. Heck if she has already taken the bait (POF slang) Call away! But if she has not yet fallen for you, many women tend to feel (in my humble male opinion) Smothered. I am of the opinion that one of the most attractive things you can show a woman is that you have a life and existence outside of her. That your schedule does not revolve around being at her beck and call.
Frankly while the people here may disagree about the 'two day rule' It is a long standing dating rule for a reason... Because it works!!
Edit: I just thought of an analogy ( I love analogies!!)
If you were on POF and you messaged someone several times. Each time was at a different time of day. 1 pm, 1am 4 am, noon and they immediately returned your message everytime. Like in five minutes, would you not think that it was strange? Would you not think " WTF? Does this guy not have a life? Does he just sit in front of POF 24/7?" | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:59:01 PM | The most endearing thing that ever happened to me was last October, after parting from a 3 hour " first time meet" with both us us leaving the pub at the same time.
When I got home and checked my e-mails, I found a sweet and totally honest e-mail from my date stating how much he had enjoyed meeting me and how much he was looking forward to seeing me again.
To me, that spoke volumes about how he felt and that made the first meet ever so special.
Three day rule??? I just don't understand that 
~~weeone~~ | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:00:19 PM | I follow NO rules...EVER...... | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:10:53 PM | | I think if anyone follows "rules" while dating they are doing it totally wrong. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:59:17 PM |
I think if anyone follows "rules" while dating they are doing it totally wrong.
You mean like the rules where guys try to not treat her like one of the guys? Or the rules where guys hould open doors and not expect the woman to pay? Or how about the rule where the guy should make sure that the woman gets home okay...
There are alsorts of 'rules' that people use because because generally they work, like women want a guy that has a sense of humor, or you can be too nice and women like a man with confidence. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:11:16 PM | | I hate rules..specially the so called dating rules? whos rules are they anyways? good gawd...theyre ridicoulous, instead of thinking, try following your heart and your gut instincts. if its meant to be, then they wont mind anything. I do what feels right to me. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:25:30 PM | OP - if a man is interested in you, he will be in contact with you. If you meet and he likes you, he will call. If he has called you and you feel comfortable calling him to say Hi, I was thinking about you - then call him.
Forget the silly rules, as adults we should be conducting ourselves as such. When I see a man playing those wait, cause I dont want to seem desperate kind of games, I just move on. Personally, I'm looking for man who is my equal and cares more about being in contact with me, than playing stupid games, based on someones silly date rule ideas. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:34:25 AM | | I just recently found out about the "three day rule" from a few friends of mine! I thought silly rule!! I had met this guy and we hit it off right off the bat. Both of us were really comfortable with each other and had an awesome date!! When we parted we both agreed that we did. But I didn't ehar from him right away. Thought maybe I had done something wrong, lol, kept thinking about everything we did and said, couldn't come up with anything at all. We both had an awesome time, we both said we had an awesome time, held hands and kissed. But in the end, my patience really was a virtue and I did hear from him! Needless to say I was very happy and very relieved. So I asked my friends about it and what they thought and they both told me about the rule. Well, it turns out that my patience worked and he did contact me. I don't think he was using the three day rule, he was just really busy with work. But I had never heard of this rule before and I do have to say that I don't like it AT ALL!! | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:04:49 AM | canam_miles, you're mixing apples and oranges. Whether or not you follow some BS "rule" about waiting 3 days (or 2) to call is totally different from whether you repeatedly call many times, as you're saying in your message. Yes, if you call her 3 times a day for 5 days straight after you've met her - you're going to come across as needy, desperate and clingy! But that is NOT what is being talked about here.
Listen to the women who are posting here canam - listening is important, you know. I believe without a single exception they've stated that a guy using the "3 day rule" on them would be perceived as a NEGATIVE, not a positive.
Oh, and your "analogy" is totally off base too. Whether you're sitting in front of your computer 24/7 waiting to answer a message again has NOTHING to do with whether you wait 3 days (or 2) to contact her after a date. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:56:24 AM | Maybe not three days, but, as I guy, I have had it reinforced time and time again not to appear too "eager" when it comes to someone I've just met and had a good time with. Anything else gets me branded, incorrectly, as needy and so disolves any chance of future dates.
So please, gals, stop complaining about rules that you yourselves have put into play! | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:02:02 AM |
, if you call her 3 times a day for 5 days straight after you've met her - you're going to come across as needy, desperate and clingy! But that is NOT what is being talked about here.
Trust me, you don't even need to do that much for a women to assess you as needy.
I actually agree completely with canan_miles. Girls only want attention from guys they are attracted to. And they are MOST likely to only be attracted to guys that don't pay them a lot of attention right away.
It's all a big game where noone is allowed to be honest from the get go or you screw it up. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:09:27 AM | I hate the 3 day rule.
By the time he calls, I don't remember him....lol
Hey, guys get with the program and see what's in front of you, she might be the one. | |
|
| |
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:20:17 AM | OP: I concur. I do not follow any "rules" and if I like you - you will know. If I want to hear your voice, I will pick up the phone (not smother the man but let him know how I feel).
I hate games that people play.................. | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:23:28 AM | Canam Miles: "You mean like the rules where guys try to not treat her like one of the guys? Or the rules where guys hould open doors and not expect the woman to pay? Or how about the rule where the guy should make sure that the woman gets home okay...
There are alsorts of 'rules' that people use because because generally they work, like women want a guy that has a sense of humor, or you can be too nice and women like a man with confidence."
Some of the above aren't "rules". It's common courtesy/mannerism (holding/opening doors) and characteristics that one would like in a partner (sense of humor). I think you are confusing the above with these so called "rules" that GOD knows who made up - i.e. wait what ever amount of days before you call or don't show too much interest (be aloof), etc............... | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:25:58 AM | My 3 day rule?
Come over Friday night and leave Monday morning! | |
|
| too early and too often, again coming across as needy, desperate and clingy
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:31:23 AM |
Hmmm... I seem to be alone in this.
This is called the three day rule for a reason (although I am big on two). The reasoning behind the 'rule' is that far too often, guys would call a woman, too early and too often, again coming across as needy, desperate and clingy. The responses seem to all be coming from the point of view that the female is already interested. Heck if she has already taken the bait (POF slang) Call away! But if she has not yet fallen for you, many women tend to feel (in my humble male opinion) Smothered. I am of the opinion that one of the most attractive things you can show a woman is that you have a life and existence outside of her. That your schedule does not revolve around being at her beck and call.
Frankly while the people here may disagree about the 'two day rule' It is a long standing dating rule for a reason... Because it works!!
The last one that tried the 3 day rule on me, well...they became history, fast! Fellas, think what you want...but not every woman is the same, anymore than all males cheat.
There are many women that will drop you in a heartbeat, if you play the two/three day rule. I know, I'm one of them, and I had to do it just the other day to some poor fellow that wanted a chance. He didn't even get out the door, when he played that game, because that's what it is...A GAME! Needless to say, he's not a happy camper right now, because he blew it, BIGTIME, and he knows it!
If the lady thinks less of you because you didn't wait to call, that's her problem! Figure it this way...DO YOU WANT TO HAVE TO PLAY SILLY GAMES TO GET SOMEONE'S ATTENTION? That's exactly what you're doing with the two or three day rule.
Personally, I find it disgusting, and distasteful, and a major turn off. It's a clear indicator to me that the relationship would be filled with nothing but more games, if I started dating those that used it.
I would suspect that lots of women, here, feel the same way too. So, sure, keep listening to the garbage books that alledgedly teach a guy how to get a gal. While you're at it...I have a really 'cute' bridge for sale, with your name on it!
Wait, I better not say that. Everyone might think I'm talking about California's bridge, which is really up for lease.  | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:46:07 AM | | I couldn't agree with you more....there are no RULES.....go with your heart and let your feelings flow ,if is there let me know and I will do the same. no games no guessing just pure love.... | |
|
| The 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:38:33 PM | Whether or not you follow some BS "rule" about waiting 3 days (or 2) to call is totally different from whether you repeatedly call many times, as you're saying in your message. Yes, if you call her 3 times a day for 5 days straight after you've met her - you're going to come across as needy, desperate and clingy! But that is NOT what is being talked about here.{/quote]
I am pretty sure that I never ever mentioned calling multiple times in a day...
Listen to the women who are posting here canam - listening is important, you know. I believe without a single exception they've stated that a guy using the "3 day rule" on them would be perceived as a NEGATIVE, not a positive.
Unfortunately women say alot of things in the dating game that are not completely true, like... I want just want a nice guy when nice guys cte passed over by them all of the time. I want a guy with a sense of humor more than anything. When really a guy with confidence is the most appealling thing. Besides, why the condesebding tone? This is just a conversation right? There is no name calling going on here. Just a conversation about what we observe and use.
Oh, and your "analogy" is totally off base too. Whether you're sitting in front of your computer 24/7 waiting to answer a message again has NOTHING to do with whether you wait 3 days (or 2) to contact her after a date.
The point of the analogy is doing that would have the woman thinking 'what, Does this guy have no other life or nothing better to do?'
Some of the above aren't "rules". It's common courtesy/mannerism (holding/opening doors) and characteristics that one would like in a partner (sense of humor). I think you are confusing the above with these so called "rules" that GOD knows who made up - i.e. wait what ever amount of days before you call or don't show too much interest (be aloof), etc...............
Well frankly none of these are rules, per say. It's not like you have to do this things or be punished. They are more like suggestions. It's not like some guys sat around in a clubhouse and made up these rules. In general again, they are in use because they work. While yes they are common curtosies, it is a good idea to do them during your date if you want to have a successful one. How many threads are there from women complaining about these rules not being applied?
To the gentleman saying that I should listen to the women here, Search one of those threads and read the unanamous agreement that men should follow those dating 'rules'.
The idea behind the analogy is 'does this guy have no other life or nothing better to do?' Why does he have so little going on?' | |
|
| too early and too often, again coming across as needy, desperate and clingy
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:48:35 PM |
If the lady thinks less of you because you didn't wait to call, that's her problem! Figure it this way...DO YOU WANT TO HAVE TO PLAY SILLY GAMES TO GET SOMEONE'S ATTENTION? That's exactly what you're doing with the two or three day rule.
Actually it ends up being the guys problem. A woman that he liked is no longer inetersted because he did not follow the normal dating convention. Do you mean silly games like getting all dressed up and looking your best to go out on a date? Spending more time and effort than if you were going out with a friend or your kids? Silly games like not sleeping with a guy on the first date?
Unfortunately the date game is just that... a game that comes with a whole bunch of rules. There are many rules to online dating that we all go by. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| 3 Day Rule
Posted: 8/1/2008 7:02:36 PM | I don't know about this "3 day" rule, who makes this sh!t up anyway?. ~tilts head~
You mean there are "rules"?  ~reaches for hanky~ Please say it ain't so.....things CAN'T have changed THAT much........can they? ~blows nose~
If that's a rule of dating, it pretty much sucks! | |
|
| too early and too often, again coming across as needy, desperate and clingy
Posted: 8/2/2008 6:15:58 AM |
That's fine, you go ahead and live by your "dating rules" and the majority of us will just do what seems to be the best and most appropriate at the time - as in "common sense."
But isn't that the point? The majority of us (as evidenced by the countless threads) do not always know what is the most appropriate thing at the time is. There seems to be alot of confusion between the sexes as to what the other one wants. Many things that would seem like common sense end up being wrong. | |
|
|
|
|
Page
3
of
24 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
|
|
Home
login 
