| Oh now, she loses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:51:25 PM | | Many women tend to lose weight and firm up when they make big lifestyle changes and enter new relationships. That's par for the course. It might help the OP to not focus on what an ex is doing and just move on. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:53:19 PM | Anyone who tells me there isn't some correlation between SOME
women's body weight and their status (married, single, looking)
is full of it!
I will never forget, a buddy of mine was on a bus, years ago and
overheard a group of young girls. One loudly bragged over the rest,
that once married, she was going to eat like a pig!
In fact, She's probably on here! lol | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:55:59 PM | ... some (notice how I said "some" and did not refer to the entire male population) guys get married, feel comfortable let themselves go because the hunt is over. This is not a male/female argument.
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:15:14 PM | | Hmmm perhaps you made her so unhappy she self medicated with food? Wish her well and move on. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:27:29 PM |
No, TravelingMel put this thread in the "Broken Hearts" column. His wife didn't. Traveling Mel said he got on her about her weight. We didn't make that up.
Tell me that you know he didn't or doesn't love her. ...and you latched onto this thread though there are hundreds of threads to choose from. So, what steered you initially to this thread? Do you know? | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:47:39 PM | well I say "Good for her!!!!" She was unhappy and your nagging just made it worse. If there is one good thing I can say about my ex-husband, it would be that he never cared what I weighed. If I gained weight with my pregnancies, he never said a thing, he loved me regardless if I was skinny or a few pounds overweight. The sad thing is...you apparently learned nothing from this. Hopefully your next woman friend is anorexic. =)
But it won't be anyone who has read this thread.
Best of luck to you!!! And be happy for your ex-wife. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:51:45 PM | Tell me that you know he didn't or doesn't love her. ...and you latched onto this thread though there are hundreds of threads to choose from. So, what steered you initially to this thread? Do you know?
I latched? I posted before you ...and once you post you continue on the same thread. This is why they are called "discussion boards" we "discuss". What business is it of yours as to why I would post on a particular thread? If you don't want someone to disagree with you don't post. Where did I say he didn't love her? Are you even on the same site as me??! | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:07:05 PM | OMG .......
This topic begs the question .........
..... “is my ex better at bjs than she use to be”
(sorry it was funny to me lol) | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:11:27 PM | Hello there, I am a big ggirl 240 in wieght I bench my wieght and leg lift 320 I have worked out for years so when it comes to eating and being in the gym I know its not the cure all just a help women gain wieght when they are stressed and unhappy I believe you when you say your are not shallow hal well face it he would have never ask what did I do wrong or why is she thin she is thin because her self esteem and relaxtion and possibly finaciual situation got better face it the more supportive and admireing a man is the better we look and feel  Jan | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:24:32 PM | Good for her! She lost weight!
You will find that it's not anything about YOU. It's about her. She found what she needed inside of herself to get in better shape.
People have told me and told me how much healthier I'd feel if I lose weight... I have heard it all. Last week a woman actually told me I'd find a husband when I get to my goal... in middle school an aunt told me I wasn't too young to diet... I could go on for hours!
I've found something inside myself that motivates me to continue... and it's not about the hurtful things I've heard in my life or the people I've encountered... or even the knowledge I've collected over the years. It has nothing to do with any particular man or finding one. It has to do with ME... my life, my looks and how I feel about me. I have to love me because I finally realized that those people who are so "concerned' and "helpful" don't give a flying "f-ck." They only want to act like they do in an attempt to insult you. The real friends, the people that really love you will love you no matter what. But the light bulb that has to go on inside anyone's head is this, they won't love to go to your funeral when you were too young to die. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:27:01 PM | | I will tell you what happened to me... I was a healthy weight when I meant my ex. Through the course of our 8 years together I gained a tremendous amount of weight. When we split, I went down 7 sizes in only 3 weeks!!!!!!! I have kept it off too. The bizarre thing is that I did not even diet to lose the weight. The good thing is that I lost weight because now I am happy. I went to the doctor as I was concerned how I could lose so much so fast. He said that it was because I was using all of my metabolism to cope with the stress of an unhappy marriage. I am happy... a lot smaller... and yes... I do get compliments from him. Does that mean I would ever want him back... Heck no! I don't want to put my heart or my body through that again. Depression definitely has an adverse effect on weight in women. Be happy for her OP! She has found happiness! | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:41:18 PM | You sound alot like shallow hals friend with that dreaded tail...hmmm! Whats the world coming to? You should have just loved her for other reasons, not by how she looked.... because now shes someone elses girl..and shes happy. Did you get invited to the wedding? | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:45:57 PM | I realize that many are not as analytical as me, I guess!
There is a HUGE difference between loving someone and
being sexually attracted to them! Neither is a choice! | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:40:08 PM | Ding Dongs are little chocolate snack cakes filled with cream and covered in a chocolate glaze. They're sold by Hostess.
http://www.hostesscakes.com/dingdongs.asp | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:06:25 PM | [quote I am from the uk never heard of ding dongs lol what are they? ] Little Debbie asking what Ding Dongs are??? Maybe your ex just decided she was tired of carrying it around | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:19:39 PM | Sure it is. Choosing to get up every morning and love your spouse is a choice, being sexually attracted to someone is mainly hormonal, which is why men watch pornography so much more than women. I mean come on, can you control an erection if a woman were standing nude in front of you.
I don't believe she's the one with the low self esteem as much as Mel was. Although it was ok to marry overweight, he might have tricked himself into believing he was ok with it and maybe you really weren't. Did you think you could "fix her"?
My mother also gain weight after she had me and my brother. My father never, ever got on her case about it and was still attracted to her just the same. But I'm hispanic, and we do not define ourselves by our bodies as much as by our families and friends and food. We know as we age, our bodies are not going to be the same, whether you're thin or thick, therefore life is too short to spend years of our lives worrying about it. These are not perfected bodies. No amount of healthy eating and exercising is going to keep them from breaking down. There was many a time when my aunts would say, "well, if we have to die, die with gusto".
And come on, "date effectively", she didn't have to do that, she already knew she can marry again overweight, there are guys out there who like BBW women (or men). No, this time she did it for herself and because as others have said, no one was there to nag her. "Encouraging her" was the same thing as telling her she was unattractive. Remember, men and women hear things differently...for every "encouraging word" you delivered, she kept putting another nail on her coffin.
And lets face it, in the end...THE BEST REVENGE IS TO LIVE WELL...g/f decided to "ha ha so so" and live it up!! Good for her.
Paris | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 9:48:13 AM | in a year she'll be 300 and he won't be getting any.
Hopefully he'll be over her by then. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:00:07 AM | I can tell you that one of the symptoms of your bad marriage was your wife's weight gain. One reason women (and men) gain an abnormal amount of weight is to avoid or replace sex. Also I'd bet you made her weight a constant issue with her too.
When people are unhappy in a relationship, they'll do a lot of bad things to deal with their hurt like over eating, drinking, doing drugs, having affairs, and so on. Once they remove themselves from their unhappy situations (like divorcing you), they'll do the right things (like her losing the weight).
The Eagle | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:37:38 AM | Well I was thin before him... He wined & dined me every night. We went out to eat 10+ times a week. I gained 20 lbs.
He cheated on me. I got sick to my stomach because I trusted him. I couldn't eat for weeks. I lost 185 lbs. (him) plus 30 lbs. He still calls - I just don't answer. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:55:59 AM | I'm tired of overweight people blaming everyone but themselves. they pick up the fork, no one puts it in thier hand. You have to first of all lose weight because you want to , not because someone else wants you to. The man said it was for other reasons that they split, and that he wasn't shallow, My God, read. I see 9 out of 10 replies that I 've read are bashing him. It's also not his fault that 2/3 's of us reading this are over weight, so lay off. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do, besides quitting smoking, drinking, etc. But for our own good we do have to do things in moderation.
Will power, and lots of it is all it takes. (All Lol , but that is PLENTY) also a few
prayers can do wonders. You don't ask God to do it for you, you just ask him to make
YOU strong enough to do it. And I know from experience that that does work. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:22:44 AM | | Okay guys, here is a little hint....just like with you, being told things does not make us want to do them...like when someone preaches about smoking, the first thing smokers want is a cigarette. Make comments like "have you lost weight?" that helps give a little boost and makes us want to work harder, that is what encouragement is. | |
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| Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/30/2008 5:07:20 PM | When I moved in with my stbx-wife over 5 years I put on 100 lbs. There was many factors that I can use as exuses but the truth is I stopped working out and ate like a pig. Since we have separated I have lost 70 of those lbs and will drop the rest by the end of the year.
I care about myself again and remember the love I have for the gym and being active. I lost myself for awhile but I am remembering what I enjoy and on the fast track back. I am a guy also so it is not just women. | |
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