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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Oh now, she looses the weight      Home login  
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 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 151
Oh now, she looses the weightPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
At 325 she didn't look good. At 225 she didn't look good. At 175 she's not looking good. How much weight did she actually lose?
 MsLucci
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 152
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:58:07 PM
Why hate that she looks great?Wish her well and move it on down the road babe.
 chesher 38
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 153
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:02:35 PM
Sir, you may have forgotten The GOLDEN RULE, ( WOMEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT ) Most especially when they are Wrong...



Your consolation Prize is your knowing that she will Fatten Up For The Next Guy too.
 cuddles1961
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 154
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:33:44 PM
Well I can only speak from my own experience with weight. I just lost 65lbs but I did it because I wanted to not because I was told to and believe me when my mom kept hounding on me to lose weight it just made me mad and made me eat more. So when i began my weight loss journey I did it for me, not for a man,.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 155
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:35:25 PM
It's a cop out to lay the blame on someone else for your happiness.

If you're unhappy in your marriage there are other ways of dealing with it than getting huge


 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 156
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:44:43 PM
My ex looks real good and it ticks me off ... j'rk off ... ... jk ... I am happy he looks good ...

Im not saying you did this but I was with a man for 16yrs and I got heavy cause he wouldnt let me do anything ... Now I have lost weight and I only have about 50 lbs to go ... ... He actualy his upset that I lost weight , but he wouldnt let me do anything ...


AnglFlyn
 genuineinharrison
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 157
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:40:25 PM
Typical,
Most of the women I have worked with over the past years while heavy and married quickly dropped the weight when they became single and were "shopping " for a new partner..

Oh well..lol!
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 158
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:14:40 AM
^^^
I have seen a lot of men be big guys while married and dropped the weight afterwards when shopping for a new partner too ...

Oh well ... lol! ...

AngleFlyn
 DimpledDoll
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 159
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 1:00:33 AM
It's called the (Divorce) diet!
 StillUnraveling
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 160
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 2:37:45 AM
She left you because you probably nagged her non-stop. Good for her for losing a careless husband and the weight!
 strawberrysky
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 161
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 3:17:43 AM
she didnt just loose weight, i think you are missing the point here. The woman sorted her head out. She was obviously in a viscious circle and emotional eating. Shes happy now, the weight probably fell off her after your marriage ended. Its unbelievable the amount of people who are overweight because of emotional issues not because they are lazy slobs. Your body and body language is usually a good indicator of how happy your head and heart are but at the same token its easy to be skinny and miserable too
 ForumPhantom
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 162
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 4:13:57 AM
She's not with you now + She's happier + Her heart feels lighter + She wants a happy future = losing weight.

Good for her!
 jakeya99
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 163
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 5:00:44 AM
Dude... I feel for you.

Some women and men "give up" on looking like the person their spouse fell in love with because they feel like they got who they wanted and "he/she should love me anyway". They get content and they get lazy... take the other for granted.

I would have had a talk with my wife loooonnngggg before she hit 325... not only for her health and sex appeal but for the disrespect she's showing me by doing this to herself.

If I didn't see a real effort to change I would have ended things. It's that simple.

I had an old neighbor lady who showed us her wedding photos from some 15 years prior. Bone thin and looked hot. She now was well over 300 pounds and didn't know she was pregnant for 6 months. Pathetic. I don't understand how she could do that ho her husband.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 164
Oh now, she loses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 7:37:02 AM

Yeah, Mel, I can empathize with you. Been in your same situation. My wife now, and others previously, have been very heavy. Unfortunately, all the nagging we guys do will not help!

This said by a fat man!
Gosh, I just could not resist that. Bad me. Oh well.

OP.. much of the time, overeating is a sign of not being happy with themselves and with what is going on around them. I know. I've been been been there.
You said other things caused the divorce. See? She (and you) were just not happy with what was going on.
Now she is. sorry.
 GreenArrow13
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 165
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 9:09:09 AM
People can change. Sometimes it takes a trumatic life event to spur someone into action. I understand you probably feel that she devalued your love. She might not have though. Age is also a factor. We get older and wiser. It is hard to really understand her true motivation, because we cannot read her mind. I know it stings though either way.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 166
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 10:12:09 AM
No, he's jealous about her looking good for the next guy. And jealousy hurts.

Mel, maybe she's merely putting on her "best self" to ensnare that next guy. Maybe, if THEIR relationship/marriage becomes subpar, she'll begin eating heavily again. Count your blessings to be free.
 rocinante_
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 167
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 8:30:53 PM
loses.... she loses weight. Not looses, there is no such word as looses. ggaaaaaaaarggghhh
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 168
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 3/12/2009 6:31:17 PM
Traveling Mel,
I think this is one of the most nauseating threads I've ever seen....
You're asking people to console and sympethyze with you because another person found the motivation to do something positive for herself, and it didn't benefit you....that just says so much about who you are as a person.

First of all, if your ex wife was heavy when you met and married her, you were out of line to be disappointed when she continued to be that. Healthy individuals marry because they love and accept each other AS THEY ARE, not because they expect the other person to change to meet their standards.

I constantly encouraged her to eat right and go the gym.

Whether this "encouragement" was in the form of outright criticism, or disguised as "genuine concern" for her well being, the fact is that there was a constant subtle message being sent to her that she was "flawed, not good enough" as she was. This is NOT supportive, in fact, it's the exact opposite. Did you know that living under that constant scrutiny and harsh judgement creates ongoing stress levels which depleats our bodies of necessary chemicals, causing a condition known as adrenal fatigue syndrome? In that condition, a person could eat the perfect diet, and excersize twice a day and never shed a pound. (That means your constant nagging likely exacerbated the problem) The thing I find most amusing about the whole thing is that saggy double chin you're sporting in your profile photos....do you not see the ridiculousness of that double standard???

At any rate, you are divorced from this woman. Since you can't find it in your heart to be happy for her, maybe you should try to wrap your mind around the fact that who she marries, how she looks, whether she finds time to go to the gym or not, is really no longer any of your business. How utterly sickening that even after divorce, you still feel entitled to judge and criticize her....Kudos to the ex Mrs. Mel for finally realizing that all those fabulous trips to exotic locations weren't worth the price she was paying with her dignity and self respect.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 169
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:32:46 AM
little note to gatekeeper in reference to message 90


yu mite wana lay iff the reefeer fur a lil wile cuz it lokes lik yu dun smoked urself rtrded.
 ~SparklingRose~
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 170
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 3/13/2009 8:59:38 PM
^^^^

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Since you can't find it in your heart to be happy for her, maybe you should try to wrap your mind around the fact that who she marries, how she looks, whether she finds time to go to the gym or not, is really no longer any of your business. How utterly sickening that even after divorce, you still feel entitled to judge and criticize her....Kudos to the ex Mrs. Mel for finally realizing that all those fabulous trips to exotic locations weren't worth the price she was paying with her dignity and self respect.
Perfect...
 CinderellaScorpio
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 171
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 3/13/2009 9:06:54 PM
You are saying it is not about her Body Image..but yet your Thread Title screams total Shallowness??
Sometimes when we get in a relationship we let ourselves go, then we split and we work on ourselves, if it is getting our life in order, working out, eating right getting ourselves more attractive for the fierce datingworld.
Sounds like you are a tad bit jealous..ha ha ha!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 172
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:32:44 AM
I read the first page of this thread and then glanced down this page.... I find it amazing that most of the women are blaming the men for this phenomenon... how ridiculous.

An overweight woman isn't overwieght because of someone else. It's foolish to think so. If a woman allows herself to get big, she has allowed other issues to cloud her mind. Blaming men is an excuse and a cop out.

If she was heavy when they were first married, how does that explain her large size prior to marriage and prior to meeting him?

Are women responsible for anything they do? It seems not.... men are.
*sigh*
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 173
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:02:12 PM

I was only slightly overweight as a child, and my parents telling me that I should lose weight made me feel grossly overweight and it bothered me, but not in a way that made me want to lose the weight, just made me resent the parents. Also my when my boyfriend suggested these things, it just made me eat more. When I didn't have this negative energy, I was able to lose weight on my own, and especially when I was in love with someone who didn't ever make me feel unattractive.

I hear you. I was in the Air Force for six years and was always borderline when it came to their weight requirements. When I was put on the "Weight Management Program," instead of being motivated to lose the weight, all the motivation was drained from me. I ended up gaining weight instead of losing, and by the time I finally left the military, I was a blimp. I went from being only a couple of pounds overweight to being seriously unhealthy.

It wasn't until years later when I hit 310 that I finally decided to lose the weight. This time, I was losing the weight not because someone else was telling me I was supposed to, but because *I* wanted to. I did it for me and for nobody else.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 174
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 4/6/2009 7:03:44 AM

what happen to whats on the inside that counts?

Let's face it, that's never been the case. There have been zillions of threads on this very subject, in fact.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 175
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:28:48 AM

Are women responsible for anything they do? It seems not.... men are.
*sigh*


Oh gawd, not another sweeping generalization about an entire gender!

There are lots of factors that affect weight, in men and women (although women's bodies are more suceptible to hormonal influences). The quality of our relationships definately comes into play, on many levels. That doesn't excuse anyone from a responsibility to look after their health, but it would be ridiculous to pretend these things have no effect.

However, I think you're missing the main point of the original post. OP is upset because he married a woman who was heavy, and was unhappy about finding himself married to a heavy woman.... I would really love to pose your own question back to you, and ask "aren't men responsible for anything they do?" however I have no interest in fanning the gender bashing flames that seem to be becoming so prevalant here lately. And I'm also not so small minded as to blame an entire gender for the idiocy of one individual.

Thank God there are still some rational intelligent men left on the planet, otherwise some of us would have given up hope long ago.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Oh now, she looses the weight