| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:50:51 AM |
I think that is why guys hate women who have been around the block too much. They think it makes us look like we're idiots to them. They can see through the BS the guys feed us to get us into bed and they can't understand why we can't see it too. So then they look down on us for it.
Ummm...what if you are not listening to any bullsh1t at all...and you are just mutually having a sexual time, together? What if SHE is the one doing the bullsh1tting? ;)
LOL....slut, shmut...I say do what makes your boat float and not worry about what others might think! Of course, safely. :) | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:51:20 AM |
The topic is if matters to you the number of sex parters your boyfriend or prospective lover had
I had already answered that question in an earlier post.
you are wrong by bringing your own socio generic bias to this discussion..... not if your boyfriend had sex only with 2 women in his life because he is unatractive or lacks self confidence! That gender bias is not relevant to this thread.
Another poster had stated that a person who only had sex with 2 other people might have been extremely careful choosing their sex partners. I simply stated that isn't always true and gave some examples. That isn't biased against any group. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:16:35 PM | now voodoo, you are mixing up your kevin smith movies!! 37 was "Clerks"!! and you call yourself a fan.....................................
and OP, no, it shouldn't matter as long as both parties have been responsible and not bring the past up to the present partner - now that's just tacky! | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:38:33 AM | 1. No it doesnt matter.
2. you shouldnt be asking anyway.
3. If you were stupid enuff to ask and he or she tells you that was the best mind blowing sex they ever had surely thats the best ego trip your ever gonna get? | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 11:21:29 AM |
he or she tells you that was the best mind blowing sex they ever had surely thats the best ego trip your ever gonna get?
Only a fool would believe it though...
On the other side of it...
What if you were to find out you were NOT the best lover your partner has had?
Afterall, if you're his/her second partner you have a 50% chance of being their best lover...
If you're their 25th partner you only have a 4% chance of being their best lover...
But if you're their 50th partner, you only have a 2% chance of being their best lover... | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:25:31 PM | Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter? You bet, as long as that menas the number is fairly high. It means the woman I'm with knows what she likes, how its done, and isn't afraid to express her sexuality. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:56:49 PM | sorry, this is the only way I could figure to post. has nothing to do with the last post.
Anyway, the number doesn't mean much to me. Right now I'm seeing a chick that is a self proclaimed slut (her words not mine). But since I'm also a recovering slut, how can I judge. There is such a double standard, if a man sleeps with 30 chicks in 6 months, HE'S THE MAN. If a chick sleeps with 30 men in her life she's a slut. Come on, that's crap. You just have to hope that you are the only one while you are in a relationship. Anything more expectations than that is futile.  | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:17:39 PM |
Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter? You bet, as long as that menas the number is fairly high. It means the woman I'm with knows what she likes, how its done, and isn't afraid to express her sexuality
siouxinjun......Why couldn't that woman learn those things with one long time partner and not multitudes of partners?
cbigmitch....Since both of you are recovering 'sluts', there shouldn't be a problem.
Personally, I wouldn't touch a man who was a recovering slut with a 10 foot pole. It really does work better when people date others that think the way they do. Seems like many of the men on this thread wouldn't date your girl either. So I guess that proves the theory.
HR  | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 5:56:33 PM | You are so wrong for stating that. If you only could read the poster note he/she does not mention gender. Self confidence has nothing to do with being selective at the time of having sex. By stating stuff like that you portray yourself here a little more smart and intelligent than a potato chip.
Oh, on the contrary. I agree with what she said. One's self-confidence has A LOT to do with their selectiveness. It can go either way, and it depends on how one handles the situation.
Some guys cower and won't approach a lady if their self confidence is down. But when a woman approaches him, he'll take it for all it's worth. Or maybe that never happens, and he remains a virgin at 35. A guy with a lot of self confidence will turn down a so-so looking horny lady who's rubbing her legs together like a cricket... while the guy with little self esteem will capitalize on that "opportunity".
Guys with low self esteems may go in the opposite direction and replace that lost pride with pride of honoring themselves as one who hasn't slept with anyone. Others will go after "easy targets", women they see on the lower rung of attractiveness, and ring up a lot of "points" to try and boost themselves.
Same can be said for ladies who are more accepting of ANY attention if their self esteem is down (thus leading to more than a kiss at first meeting), or the opposite due to how they're handling themselves.
My point is, self-confidence/self-esteem really plays a role in how a guy or gal carries themselves and the decisions they make. Good confidence and self-esteem lead to better decisions. Low self esteem can swing either way in one's "numbers". | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:21:26 PM | Any less than 30!? you can't be serious...there is no way under the sun im a even thinking about touch a woman who has slept with 20 men let alone 30....ever hard the words "used material"....obviously any woman who has slept with that many men has some serious issues....that many men and she can't find a dude to fit the bill...come on scotty there is something seriously wrong with that scenario....sheesh....
This doesn't take much common sense or logic to figure out..obviously 25 or whatever dudes got rid of her after sleeping with her...must be a reason for it...probably one you don't want no part of.
granted marrying a virgin is probably not going to happen in today's society, though if you do find one jump on it haha 
but depending on their age, you can come to a nice round "acceptable" number....for example...say your 20 years old, you meet a girl who is 19 and she has slept with 15 guys at that age...what do you do? RUN! run hard, run long, run fast, the key word is to RUN!
Now if your 25 and you meet a 26 year old girl who has slept with 4 or 5 partners, that is acceptable, that is a nice round number that is not out of reach nor out of the ordinary...she isn't a good goody girl, but she hasn't been around the block either. But more importantly, she respects herself because she hasn't let every tom,**** and joe get some of it..
again a little common sense goes a long way in debates like this....Your brain is up there...ya know that thing inside your skull...use it..it is quite helpful
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:46:35 PM | Woody...while I agree with your scenario, I guess I'm just curious to see what kind of numbers you would find acceptable for a woman in her late 40's-assuming she's had a LTR in there (or two).
Also just curious....Which type of women do most men run into? The 25 yr old that has slept with 20 partners or just 5? Eventhough I was a teen in the 70's (well before the AIDS crisis), people seemed to be ok with casual sex even then. Now a days, its even more so (according to the stats on stds for teens).
Would it be different if a young woman of say 25 performs oral sex on 30 men but only sleeps with 4?
Most teens do not recognize oral sex as sex. I was warned by my sons' pediatrician to make sure that they understood that oral sex...is sex....and to act responsibly.
It blows my mind that most people who engage in casual sex (and even those in new relationships) will engage in oral sex with precautions, yet will make sure they use condoms for intercourse. When in a new relationship, I've been guilty of that myself. What are we thinking?
HR | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:14:01 PM |
There is a saying that says, ask a man how many women he's slept with and divide it by three, that's the real #.
But I admit to only having had sex with 1 woman so does that mean other women think I've had sex with 1/3 of a woman? How would that work?
As for a limit on number of people a woman has had sex with that would be too much for me I suppose a million would be a bit much. And don't forget the minimum of at least zero.
I'm not really sure why they would tell me the number but I don't think it would turn me off. It might surprise me or make me a little nervous if I knew before the first time we had sex but I'd deal with it. It isn't the number of people they have had sex before we were together that I find important, it is the number of people they have sex with while we're together. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:20:43 PM | hindred....You're 22.....So say in 4 or 5 yrs (or however many) when you're ready to think about marriage and a family.....Would you really be comfortable marrying a woman that had 40 or 50(example) partners to your 2 -5 (example)?
HR | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 9:22:11 PM | A long series of first timers does not make you any good at it. It just means that you weren't good enough to be had a 2nd or 3rd time.
What matters, I think, is how many times you've had sex with a single partner. If they kept coming back for more, then you must have been doing something right, or kept it interesting every time. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 9:49:33 PM | | I think an intersting question to ask yourself is, when you die and you memories flash by, do you want to have slept with more or less partners. Based on that, live your life accordingly. It seems to me too many people still view sex as sinful and "dirty" which is sad, and I think wrong. Sex is one of lifes great pleasures. It is to be savored and shared . | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/14/2008 11:00:54 PM |
I think an intersting question to ask yourself is, when you die and you memories flash by, do you want to have slept with more or less partners.
We're not all that base driven...
Some of us might find it more important to be proud of what we've done.... for some, less partners might mean more self-respect... For others, more partners means a higher score... | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:15:15 AM | | Then the advice still applies. Saying that less partners means more self respect still implies a very negative, guilt driven approach to sex, which is still sad. Why live your life ful lof regrets and beat yourself up for something that is natural and part of our lives. I only say this because I am a recovering catholic . lol Why is someone disrepecting you if they have sex with you, (if it is consensual). If you feel that way about sex, then you are saying yes for the wrong reasons, or need some counsuling. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:43:50 AM | Acceptable numbers for a woman in her late 40's would depend on a variety of factors.
1. Has this woman been married? If so how long was she married.
2. Has this woman been married more than once?
those 2 factors are only relevant when looking at a time table to discern some insight into her partners. Why she chose them, and if she was maybe in a transitional period in her life at the time.
I would say for a woman in her late 40's a number between 7-11 partners would not be out of the ordinary and would probably be acceptable in most circumstances.
as for oral sex, yes sex is sex and oral sex should be counted as sexual activity. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 11:02:55 AM |
Saying that less partners means more self respect still implies a very negative, guilt driven approach to sex
Not at all...
It might be totally unrelated.
I really enjoy driving, but I'd prefer to have owned a few nice cars over my life than driven a fleet of lemons...
I enjoy wine, but I don't rush out a few times a week and chug down a few bottles of plonk from the local liquour outlet... I'd rather taste finer wines that are rare... and savour what their qualities are... | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 12:11:43 PM | | But would you prefer to own one or two Ferrari's or have experinced driving every Ferrari ever made? Just because one had a brief sexual relationship, does not mean it was less worthy or less meaningful. Some people have only one sexual partner and he/she is a lemon. Do you prefer to sample various wines, or just stick with one wine for all occasions? I still think that at the root of the sentiment and this talk of numbers, is guilt and a sex-negative attitude. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 12:15:25 PM | | I think judging people is a slippery slope that can only lead to grief. Frankly, I don't think anyone has a right to ask your partner about their sexual history. It can only lead to grief, jealousy etc etc. What if you find a mate that is perfect in every way and her "number" is 2 or 3 more then your criteria. Are you going to give that up? Frankly, I think relationships should be forward looking. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 12:25:35 PM |
Some of us might find it more important to be proud of what we've done....
I do take pride in what I do, by doing everything the best I can.
for some, less partners might mean more self-respect... For others, more partners means a higher score...
Numbers are not an accomplishment - high or low. | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/15/2008 2:46:49 PM | azureorb,
Original statement
The person who only had sex with 2 people might have been a lot more discerning in choice of partners, ie, not drug users, having taken the time to get checked for STD's etc...
ml456 statement
Maybe he only had sex with 2 women because most women weren't interested in him or because he lacked self-confidence.
Note how she uses gender bias on her statement. This statement is biased because it represents the notion of the "nerd"(low self esteem male with higher than average I.Q).
Self esteem has nothing to do with having or not having sex. And having or not having sex has nothing to do with self esteem. On the other hand SELF RESPECT would prevent a person(male or female) to engaged in promiscuous lifestyle and/or have sex with multiple partners in a short period of time. Note that Self Esteem is not Self respect! A person might have high levels of self esteem but might not have self respect. A person with low self respect would not mind having sex with anyone and any given time. A person with low self esteem would have sex with any one at any given time as well! Ugly people, short people, fat people, unemployed people, gets laid too! Respect and Esteem are two different things! | |
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| Does the numbers of people you slept with really matter?
Posted: 8/16/2008 11:05:15 AM | Boricua,
your posts convey a dislike of stereo types, if I'm not mistaken.
I would therefore be interested to hear your opinion/justification as to why a person can not have self respect AND a promiscuous lifestyle.
Though you have touched on it, I am yet to comprehensively understand your theory. | |
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