| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/3/2008 8:04:55 PM |
I am curious tho why the guy on the side having this problem seems to concern you more then your husband having the same issue? I honestly don't understand seeking advice to help another woman's husband but not your own.
My husband does not have this problem. But his issues are medical also.
For the others posters mentioning guilt, I could buy that except that the problem apparently isn't new. His wife is not interested in sex so he hasn't bothered to get a prescription and is only considering it now.
For some of the others who brought up getting a new lover. I don't go about this randomly. We care about each other and I would just like to help me be happy as well as him.
Thank you to most for being non-judgmental. By reading a post in a forum or a profile on a site it is impossible to know what kind of person someone is. You also can't make that decision based on one action they make. For those that were... I am glad that you have higher moral values or self-control or whatever. But I'll bet there are things you do that I wouldn't do either.
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/3/2008 8:10:49 PM | | Jerseygirl2008 and annuddermale, can you pass me the milk duds? | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/3/2008 8:55:16 PM | Maybe its uhhhh oh I don't know......GUILT?! Jeeeez! You seem to care more about your BF 's wang and what help he should get rather than anything else! Gimme a break........thats Karma for ya..... | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/3/2008 8:58:52 PM | BTW? I think the title to the thread is funny............"how do I handle this"....LMAO!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. yes....I DO think I am funny...sorry....
Hey pass the BON-BONS....would ya?! | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/3/2008 9:04:02 PM | if my gf cheats on me it better be with some big, musclebound, model with a huge... yea ] if shes gonna do it better make it count  | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 2:33:28 AM | | Smoking along with other bad habits and drugs even legal ones can being over weight and out of shape booze can effect how things work. Hubby had that problem sometimes he stopped smoking and start to exercise more and it has helped a lot to make it harder longer more often | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 6:50:25 AM | [Tell him to take some Cialis, some Levitra & some Viagra. He should be good to go!!]
Wow!! I always thought these were the names of the Pointer Sisters.... | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 7:16:00 AM | Odd. The ED problem and the ADultery issue wouldn't seem to be related. Wonder why OPie made a point of bringing in the AD, and then daring everyone NOT to ADdress it?
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 7:37:04 AM | Ummm....suggestions....
How about you stop hanging on to things that don't work. If your willing to invest time and effort to fix your FB, then you would be better served spending that effort fixing your marriage. Otherwise, kick the FB to the curb and find one that actually works for you. | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 8:48:57 AM | Maybe people believed that this post was attention seeking because to get your answer, all you had to say was that this man had ED problems with his wife and he is continuing to have them with you.
If you wanted a thread that answered your questions you would have refrained from putting in information that was not necessary to answer the question unless a part of you believes that his current performance issues may be due to guilt.
C*ck ring might be helpful in addition to the other suggestions and I suspect you would get more information by googling ED. | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 9:46:22 AM | | I most certainly agree with so many posts listed here about the guilt factor .... Your mental state has a great effect on sexual preformance .... If that is what you are really missing in your marriage invest in a battery opperated boyfriend and tell yours to go back to his wife..... | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 9:58:43 AM | Glad you added the last line to your post! Since the moral question is out for the moment, we can address your first issue. Just because he has this problem with his wife and you, doesn't necessarily mean he's dysfunctional. It may be guilt, although you might not want to consider that. Psychology plays an important part in sexual function
You may also consider an erectile aid; from my research, Cialis 20 mg. seems to be the forerunner. See if that helps. In any event, another medical opinion is not only warranted, it's essential. I wouldn't chalk this up to smoking and caffeine.
Lastly, since this is a purely sexual relationship, consider changing partners. The sex may be a LOT better, and one less thing to worry about.
However, you really need to look at your relationship with your husband. If he doesn't want sex with you any longer, I'd say the marriage is less than stellar. Don't let your life lose more time; it's all you have. Find someone that will appreciate you in all ways. I'm sure you're not feeling great about having to seek out a fling just to have your needs satisfied. If counseling won't work, and the relationship is not going to be salvaged, move on. | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 8/4/2008 11:38:29 AM |
Maybe people believed that this post was attention seeking because to get your answer, all you had to say was that this man had ED problems with his wife and he is continuing to have them with you.
If you wanted a thread that answered your questions you would have refrained from putting in information that was not necessary to answer the question unless a part of you believes that his current performance issues may be due to guilt.
Yeah, I was going to say the same. Clearly, you can't separate the whole married guy on the side thing from the encounter or the relationship. You didn't need to talk about that to get advice on the physical aspect.
That's not a moral judgment one way or the other, just an observation that maybe you have some reservations despite your decision to go ahead with this, and maybe he does too. | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 7/8/2009 12:05:38 PM | with both hands of course!! Going to be in your area next two weekends e-mail me and maybe we could talk about it. dwskiman | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 7/8/2009 12:22:07 PM | It's ideal- becasue whe nyour husband finds out and accuses you of cheating- you can tell him it is not possible because he can't get it up...
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 7/8/2009 1:34:40 PM | It is amazing that with so many people presented with a pretty simple problem.. so many of your responses were either self serving or worthless.. The one that were not know who they were.
Since the problem was pre-existing with with wife (from the way you phrased it), it seems pretty apparent it is not guilt related.. So the physiological things seem like they make a lot of sense.. Coffee, smokes etc. Getting a little exercise in there too can increase both the libido and the bodies ability to respond to it. My guess is from what you said, you are happing in your marriage, except for the sex part, and don't want to blow it up, but also feel the need to express yourself sexually. Believe me.. you are not alone, it happens to a lot of people. Get things straight with your partner in crime though, so there will be no misunderstandings. They may pop up anyways.. but always better to talk about things ahead of time in any situation.
As far as the moralistic haters.. some people just like to climb on their soap boxes and throw stones at people..I think it makes them feel better about their own lack of walking their own talk personally. Ask Mark Sanford. It sounds like you have a good handle on your feelings about the situation.. and are trying to chose the lesser of two evils. Listen to the advise of the people who actually posted any.. and good luck in your relationship, and your marriage. | |
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| How do I handle this? Posted: 7/8/2009 2:09:34 PM | | The irony of life. You chose to cheat, and the sucker can't get it up. Hehehe. It's called karma. Good Karma, good things happen. Bad Karma, and this is what you get. | |
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