| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:07:45 AM | THANKS : OBSIDIAN / YOU ARE MOST AWARE GRASSHOPPER MATURITY AND SPIDER SENSES . HE HAS SOMETHING ON HIS MIND AND BLURTS OUT STUFF ; COULD THIS BE A REASON ; WHEN A WOMAN IS IN A BAD MOOD AND HE SAID A BAD THING COULD IT BE THAT ???? THE RELATIONSHIP IS A BAD MOOD? OR HE JUST ISN'T AWARE ???? CLUELESS TO WHAT HE SAID WAS BAD ? DO WE AS A MATURE WOMAN TELL HIM WHAT IS BADLY SAID WHEN WE ARE IN A BAD MOOD ?  YOGI | |
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| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:38:26 AM |
If it's happened with more than one guy, there's a pretty good chance that maybe when you don't want to talk, you turn into a complete b*tch, and the guys don't wanna deal with you sh*tting on them for something that wasn't their fault.
LOL... the greyfeld hammer strikes again.... Hit another nail on the head?
Of course we don't know how big a b!tch you are when you're in a bad mood... but if it's bad enough that grown men are reduced to 8 year old responses like "Well you're fat and ugly!"... wel... I assume you're not dating 8 year olds...
Before it gets to that point you could just say.. "Look, I'm feeling really b!tchy right now and I don't want to take all my crap out on you... so we should just hang up and I'll call you back when I'm me again..." And then hang up!
It would help on the other end if your guys would see what's going on and be willing to say something like... "Ummm... I can tell you're pissed about something and it's not me.... you can vent to me but don't take it out on me..."
You might consider adding that tidbit to your warning label to avoid it getting out of hand.. | |
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| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/6/2008 12:29:37 AM | Droleci ; You are right
 Keep fishing ; Woman are you aware you could of not really let him know you were in a BAD MOOD or the Relationship is a BAD MOOD if he siad something ; Did you tell him ? If he did that ; He's A JERK and NOW YOU KNOW .... go Country SONG ; say GOOD-BYE to him . . . . NEVER let him do it AGAIN.  | |
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| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:21:18 AM | There is a very large difference between being in a bad mood and being short with someone, and being downright rude.
Scenario: She says she doesn't want to talk to him right now. She's grumpy. He responds with "you're fat and ugly." Hmm... methinks that response is just a tad over the top and disgustingly rude.
Seriously... how was she impolite? She explained that she was in a really bad mood and didn't feel like talking. She didn't tell him to buzz off, or get out of her face, or anything like that... sounds like he has a fragile ego, and when she didn't stroke it, he lashed out like a 3 year old. And it's funny seeing so many people defending his behavior... | |
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| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:44:18 AM | OP
First, the response you got back was BS and nasty. No question about that.
Everyone goes through some time where they need some silence so if you know you’re in a bad mood and will not be good company it is good to let that be known. BUT...
A couple of suggestions.
If you have a planned date and the relationship is new sometimes you need to take one for the team, be bigger than your mood, and enjoy yourself even when your mood doesn't want you to. If you had a plan and do the, bad mood give me space, it could be taken as a rejection of the relationship.
If you can't be bigger than your mood, you may want to set some time limits for being cranky. When you say you do not feel like talking because of your mood, say 'YOU' will call him back in 2 or 3 hours when you feel better. Call back when promised. If being in a bad mood exceeds that time, try again an hour later and call him back. If it is still going on... I really hope there is a good reason that you are aware of because being in a bad mood for long periods of time is destructive to your health and the health of everyone around you.
Be aware of how often you use your 'bad mood' as a reason to shutdown. The more you do it the more likely it is that you’re allowing something to interfere with your life and relationships. Good chance that you will start looking for guys that are easier to control so that you don't feel as guilty about your moods but those guys are going to be from the short yellow bus labeled 'nice guys,' and will lash out when they feel rejected. Self fulfilling kind of thing. :- )
Since no one is perfect, you could give the 'nice guys' the benefit of doubt and preface your need for alone time with, "We are fine, I get like this sometimes and I am not good company, it won't last long, I will talk to you in xxHours and thank you so much for understanding. I WILL make it up to you!" Take ownership and responsibility for your moods, provide reassurance that the relationship is not impacted by it, and give them reassurance that you’re still in to them. Small words that can make a big difference. | |
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| Why do guys automatically say bad things about you when you're in a bad mood?
Posted: 8/11/2008 9:44:07 AM | You see? ^^^^ This is what I am talking about...
She stated that SHE was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk, HE exhibited horrible manners.
Somehow, you have managed to turn it around to her having bad manners (since when is saying "I am not in a good mood, and don't feel like talking" bad manners?), and him "being upset." Um... upset is fine. "You're fat and ugly" is not an approriate "upset" statement.
When the OP asks a question, you should take it at face value and try to answer it accordingly. Don't read between the lines and make assumptions. If anything, the assumptions you make reveal a LOT about yourself and how you deal with other people. | |
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