| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 2/21/2009 11:09:02 AM | Number 13 is by far the best one… And the one about being asked if you have the time – Do you have the energy… Is pretty good.
Ok… Little mind-masturbation for ya… Heard this one either on a movie or in a bar somewhere…
Man: I know how to make your breast look bigger.
Woman: How?
Man: I have small hands.
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 2/21/2009 12:59:36 PM | | mmm I like what I see.. (takes the chocolate cake ) | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 2/23/2009 3:44:36 PM | I've actually used this one to clear prime spot bar stools back when i drank:
Hey there, I'm a necrophiliac... how well can you play dead?  | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:26:49 PM | To a mom scolding her child in the grocery store:
"you seem like a good mother, wanna go halfers on another?
To a woman standing in a long line moving very slowly:
"you look tired, need a place to sit? Hang on I'll clear a spot"
*wipes his mouth*
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/20/2009 11:52:05 AM | Awesome! I gotta try that, at least just for kicks. | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/23/2009 3:33:05 AM | "Honey, you look finer than a new set of snow tires."
~Gangrel | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:43:03 AM | lmao..that is the best one on here.
I was in a grocery store when i has a guy tell me that as long as he had a face i had a place to sit! I slapped him but i laugh at it now. | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/23/2009 1:55:37 PM | Your ass is so tight I bet when you fart, you call dolphins!
omg i thought i was going to piss my pants laughing at that one!!!! | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:56:24 PM | | "I'm your uncle Jon. Your daddy told me to give you a ride home." | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 9:21:11 AM | I once had a guy offer to cook me breakfast if I went home with him.
I told him I like my eggs unfertilized thanks. | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:28:21 PM | | that's the funniest aside from the grab my coat... | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:46:19 PM | Did you spill windex on your pants? Because I can sure see myself in them.
Waka Waka | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:54:36 PM | Mae West still is the best
"Take your time it'll last longer" | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:31:56 AM | i`m not fred flintstone, but i can sure make ya bedrock
Love it..never heard it
This allows you to quote a previous post.
sorry, trying the quote thing like the other guy, he got it I will see if i just did | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:48:03 PM | Walk up to the gal (or guy) and say, "Someone who is as attractive as you, must have heard every cheap pick up line there is, right?" When they say "Yes" respond with "Well then one more wont hurt will it?"
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:54:20 PM |
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
My three favorites! The last one was disgusting but it is funny!
issy | |
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tdluva
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Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 196 | |
| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:20:03 AM | When I used to be a woman this one always worked on me:
At a romantic dinner, just before both have finished their meals, the man asks politely, "Are you going to finish that?"
To which I, pretending to be slightly confused but waiting with eager anticipation for the punchline/pick-up, reply, "Finish what?"
Whereupon the man proceeds to stand, unzip his pants, and let his man-junk hit the table.
Works everytime, boys, if-and only if-you approach women at a TABLE, and not the taller bars.
You dimwits should really read the entire thread before you repeat trite cliches, repeatedly, over and over and over again, and again, and make smiley faces like you're funny, again and, repeatedly, again.
My favorite is still, "I like your boots, wanna Fushce" They must not be wearing boots.
I have two or three children due to the success of this cum-om. Circa 1970's.
I will never post naughty shi it again if I don't get some props on this. | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:20:49 AM | | "Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong" | |
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tdluva
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Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 198 | |
| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:53:30 AM | I'm going to drive this right the f. strate into the ground.
In a crowded bar full of hot men/women shout something obscene.
??
Thought you'd never ask.
Such as, "Bleached rabbit fur causes venereal mold!!"
Whereupon, after the OMG, my mouth was made for penis penetration stare, you reply,
(this is called the pin-drop moment, and boys if expect to get laid from comedy, you'd better be damn goood!! Especially you ugly ones. Balls of steel don't hurt.)
With all eyes on you, confidently state: "I see what all y'all beeches ben doin'!! .....It's True! Rabbits. Mold. Guilty as charged." Wouldn't hurt to make that Clint Eastwood toy handgun like in Gran Torino, and point at the sluttiest ones.
You won't leave the bar w/o a b-j in the bathroom. But this is how to work a crowd and not a specific cum-on line.
This is called mis-direction. Often called shock-jocking. It is the same f cking joke as: "huh, don't like pizza, ar har aug har de arg har."
If 3 yrs from now your pissing your pants in your cubicle...
YW | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:34:26 AM | | "Do you like chocolate? Because i'll pull down your snickers and give you a boost!" | |
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| Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:48:24 AM | We can do this one of two ways;
Rohypnol or necrophilia....Your decision. | |
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