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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:15:50 AM |
Bipolar woman are nasty. The only experience Ive encountered (not me) was of a woman who isolated her man, was violent and scheming, paranoid and protected herself under every cost. In fact, she was so bad that his parents had to involve themselves because the kids where in danger of being killed.
Another possible misdiagnosis......
"violent and scheming" are more Borderline Personality Disorder words, than Bi-Polar words. Vindictive and punishing are more Borderline words.
"irritable and angry" are more Bi-Polar words than Borderline words. Unrealistic and fearless are more Bi-Polar words.
If the mood switches from extreme high (climbing Mt. Everest) to extreme low (lethargic, sad) more than once in a day...you aren't dealing with Bi-Polar.
I'm not a Doctor, but I do have both disorders, and stand by my statements. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 12:20:59 PM | Having worked in the mental health field for over 34 years, I have seen dozens of cases of bipolar. These people are seriously mentally ill and, while it is tragic and I sympathize with them, they can be extremely difficult to manage. Many do become violent and require hospitalization. While it is true that their illness is not their fault, it is also true that this is not simply an illness like pneumonia or high blood pressure.
To the OP... all I can say is good luck, and try to be as supportive of your dad as you can. As someone else said, he is going to need you. Good luck. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 2:00:35 PM | | The most common problem with mental illness is many refuse to stay on medication and as a result the whole family suffers. I think as a whole people have to sit down and have a straight honest talk about what needs to be done to keep peace in the home and if the one with the problem will not agree then a split in the home for the sake of well being has to happen. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 5:39:13 PM |
The most common problem with mental illness is many refuse to stay on medication and as a result the whole family suffers. I think as a whole people have to sit down and have a straight honest talk about what needs to be done to keep peace in the home and if the one with the problem will not agree then a split in the home for the sake of well being has to happen.
This is a very legitimate concern....
When I was prescribed Lithium, my Doctor prescribed a "normal" adult dose. After a couple of days, I couldn't function....I was right out of it. I have a really sensitive nervous system, and the Lithium was wreaking havoc with my other meds.
I phoned my Doctor, and told him I was cutting the dosage in half, and would go from there....he agreed. I've been on the half dose for 5 years now and it works well for me.
Introducing medication slowly, very often works better than full initial doses. I've done this with 3 or 4 Doctors who told me "you can't do that". They find out quickly, that if they want me on the medication, it HAS to be done that way, or my system won't tolerate it.
If someone refuses to take their meds, see if they will take half...they may be having side effects...and lowering the dose and increasing gradually might help. This needs to be done with the help of a Doctor, of course.
If they refuse because they like being manic....don't like "taking pills", etc. then I agree totally with WONDERMAN37..... | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 6:45:18 PM | | There are a lot fewer problems with most medications if that's done. The trouble is though, that most health care coverage is so minimal (esp for mental health issues) that often hospital visits are very brief and health care providers aren't given enough time. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 7:52:08 PM |
There are a lot fewer problems with most medications if that's done. The trouble is though, that most health care coverage is so minimal (esp for mental health issues) that often hospital visits are very brief and health care providers aren't given enough time.
I AM NOT ADVOCATING THIS.....
I have nearly died a couple of times from being given a regular adult dose. If I have to, I will cut pills that shouldn't be cut, open capsules, and dump half down the sink, do whatever I have to, to make sure I get close to the right amount.
There's nothing worse than taking too much of a psychotropic drug....talk about a "bad trip". | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:55:40 PM |
They are not nice people they are only nice in the beginning to suck you in or they are nice if they feel they are going to lose you other then that there manipulative bi*ch's that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity...
Ernest Hemingway, Steven Foster, Linda Hamilton, Patty Duke, Jane Pauley, Carrie Fisher, Sinead O'Conner, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Drew Barrymore, Winston Churchill, John Keats, Sir Isaac Newton, Kristy McNichol, Florence Nightengale, Ozzy Osborne, Jim Carey, Robert Downey Jr., Robin Williams, Adam Ant, Lord Bryon,
Mariette Hartley, John Keats, Margot Kidder, Vivien Leigh, Beethoven,****Cavet,
Charles****ns, Richard Dreyfus, Mark Twain, Vincent Van Gogh, Virginia Wolff,
Abraham Lincoln, Burgess Meredith, Charles****ns, Axl Rose, Kurt Vonnegot...
I beg to differ with this poster. Some very famous and creative people have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder or manic depression. If you were to ask a group of physicians, if they had to be afflicted with a mental illness, pick one, I hazard to say a majority of them would select bipolar disorder because it is treatable. People with this disorder under proper care lead normal and productive lives.
I hazard to say the girlfriend of the OP's father has a comorbid condition, or is not being treated for the manic depression. One of the problems with this population is refusal to accept treatment. Without treatment behavior can be psychotic, or patients can be suicidal. With treatment, they look and behave just like you and me.
What right do I have to express these facts and opinions? I went to medical school,
practiced medicine, treated bipolar patients, married a man with bipolar disorder
and had 18 wonderful years with one of the nicest, most generous, caring and loving men I have ever known. At times he had a flare and with immediate attention from his psychiatrist the symptoms were controlled.
OP your father's girlfriend, just because she has been diagnosed as bipolar, does not mean she is being treated for the condition. In addition the diagnosis she may have other psychiatric conditions such as a personality disorder that is not being treated.
If her behavior is out of control she needs help, not condemnation. Talk to your father about it. Best wishes. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/31/2009 9:22:15 PM |
With exceptions, most of this thread is just stigma and ignorance.
I so agree blossom.
By current statistics, 4.4% of the population meets the criteria for the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Like any illness, persons with the diagnosis can accept treatment or refuse it. Those that accept it and understand the importance of staying on their medication even when they feel good, go on to lead normal, highly functional lives.
Those that stop taking their medication or are never properly diagnosed can be quite psychotic or suffer major depression. Many cases of undiagnosed manic depression will self medicate with alcohol or drugs. As soon as properly treated the substance abuse stops.
With a 4.4% prevalence, that means one out of 25 people are bipolar. Some of them blend in with the general population because their behavior is still within the range of normal. The lady who racks up thousands and thousands of dollars on her credit card from shopping sprees, the risk takers who drive too fast, engage in dangerous pursuits,
are incredibly "high" on life, or mired in substance abuse could all be untreated bipolar patients. Because of the social stigma, many will never seek help. These people need our understanding and support, not judgement out of ignorance. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/1/2009 1:59:22 AM | I was so frustrated by some of what I have read, Thank you for setting things straight. I know from personal experiance that having a child with Bi-polor is not the easiest thing, but neither is having a child with hyperactivity. And I agree 100% finding the proper medication mix, making sure they take meds properly, keep all appointments, managing behavior helps, likewise EDUCATION for the rest of the world help.
I remember a line from a childs tale-When she was good she was very, very good and when she was bad she was horid. but having 5 children I can cheerfuly say they all are.
People with JUST Bi-polor are very, very happy or very, very sad-oversimplified- and yes they can change very quickly but can also stay at one extreem for long periods. And like most illnesses there are mild and severe forms.
To people who say "I would NEVER date a person that has Bi-polor" guess what you may have already dated someone with it and never known. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/1/2009 6:14:13 AM | candicem
there are many people who suffer from bipolar disorder who recognize it and do everything in their power to control the disease and be the best person they can be to others.
It is the ones who are controlled by it; who in turn use it to control other people, that make being in a functional relationship an absolute emotional cauldren; because you never know which side of them will rule; and the other person will have no rights, no voice and no control; they are literally helpless to the one person's "state".
It is those extreme people that I think most are talking about. Many do not let their own diagnosis rule their life; they put people, relationships and giving ahead of their own "moods". The ones who do though, literally are helpless to their own moods, their own emotional temperature, and the other person is literally along for the ride. Those are the ones that are being talked about.
Peace. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/1/2009 10:23:38 AM |
It is the ones who are controlled by it; who in turn use it to control other people, that make being in a functional relationship an absolute emotional cauldren; because you never know which side of them will rule; and the other person will have no rights, no voice and no control; they are literally helpless to the one person's "state".
It is those extreme people that I think most are talking about. Many do not let their own diagnosis rule their life; they put people, relationships and giving ahead of their own "moods". The ones who do though, literally are helpless to their own moods, their own emotional temperature, and the other person is literally along for the ride. Those are the ones that are being talked about.
Peace.
I come in peace as well.
I have been with a few men who are bi-polar, or BPD, or both...with some PTSD thrown in for good measure, even.....
Even though I am an " I hate you-don't leave me" borderline, there comes a time when I realize that I am never going to get anywhere with this person, love doesn't conquer all, and I will go down with the ship, if I don't get out.
Do I have resentment against these men, because they wouldn't help themselves in order to help us......damn tootin' I do. Some people are so frightened by change, even good change, that they can't handle fixing anything. Sometimes they will die, rather than try.
I left my husband after 13 years, because I knew that he needed help, and he refused to acknowledge that he had a problem, and said that "I" was the problem. (This is a typical defense strategy-turn the focus to the other person, away from yourself). I was well enough, that I had stopped buying that.....he is unemployed, will be homeless shortly, and still in denial. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/1/2009 1:08:58 PM |
Many do not let their own diagnosis rule their life
My husband remembered the out of control feeling he had before he was placed on medication and properly diagnosed. Medication changed his life. He never missed his medication because he knew taking made a difference between being normal and being out of control. Unfortunately, not all bipolar patients have the same attitude. Some when they are feeling normal think they are cured and stop their medicine only to flare with out of control behavior.
A diabetic who depends on insulin could have a normal blood sugar. If they decided their sugar was normal they no longer needed their insulin, and stopped it think how out of control their disease would be. It is the same with bipolar disorder. The people with this disorder who are unmedicated and out of control are the reason their is a social stigma that many who are well controlled have to carry withi them throughout life.
I just think we all need to judge each individually and not lump all people with bipolar disorder in the same category. Just like it is not fair to sterotype all people by their race, religion, social class, sexual preference, sex, we should not judge all people with a clinical diagnosis by the same sterotype. Look at them one person at a time. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/1/2009 2:39:15 PM | Mental health dxes are poorly understood by the public.
There is a book called the DSM IV-tR that lists the criteria for all dxes used by psychologists, psychopharmacologists, and md's. The manual was designed so professionals could discuss clients in terms that had common symptoms. The manual was created so insurance companies could have a billable dx for the insured. At some point the public picked up the idea that the dx from the DSM-IV somehow defines a person as being the dx. This is far from the reality.
A person who has cancer is not cancer. A person who is dx'ed as bipolar has symptoms that meet the criteria for a bipolar (Bp) dx. They are not bipolar, they have bipolar.
Until mental illness is accepted in this culture as simply an issue of health, like any physical illness is accepted as being unfortunant this culture will not grow. The stigma of mental health is rooted in the false belief that human beings are some how less because they are ill.
In PSY101 one is taught that all human beings are ill. In PSY491 one is taught you can't save anyone.
Bill | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/5/2009 4:36:25 PM | I've thought about this a lot over the last 6-8 months. We don't say, "he's a broken leg" or 'she's the flu" or "her dad's Lupus". It does seem that physical illnesses or injuries are described as being something imposed on the ill person but mental illnesses are described as something that is part of, or even defines, the ill person. Maybe it's because it's the mind and we tend to perceive the mind as the person. I don't know. It would be interesting to find out if this is expressed the same way in other languages and cultures.
Since becoming aware of this I've tried my best to not describe a person with a mental illness by the illness, but it is difficult. "I have dyslexia" is better than "I'm dyslexic" and sounds fine. "He has ADD" works. But "she has bi-polar" sounds clumsy. Maybe "she suffers from bi-polar disorder" is better, but "disorder" has to be added to make the sentence sound "right". Maybe if we all consciously change out thinking and speech so that we regard mental and physical illnesses as the same imposition on the life of a person it will bring greater acceptance and understanding and lead to greater healing. To me, it's worth a try.  | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:05:40 PM | I want to say that this whole thing is sad in my opinion. However, even though it may be the result of a mental problem. She has a bad influence on you and your father, this is resulting from her illness, but has everything to do with the person she is, I mean you have to be upset with her. You can scream and you can cry! No matter the reason she is not affecting you or your father positively.
It's not fair to label all bipolar or schizopreniac people as a---holes. You also should try to accept the fact that your father is a willing participant. It's okay to be sad, or angry just do not misdirect your anger.
P.S. I wrote this because your post asked about all bipolars. However, there is just one at this time that is causing you a lot of grief. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:23:34 PM |
I've thought about this a lot over the last 6-8 months. We don't say, "he's a broken leg" or 'she's the flu" or "her dad's Lupus". It does seem that physical illnesses or injuries are described as being something imposed on the ill person but mental illnesses are described as something that is part of, or even defines, the ill person. Maybe it's because it's the mind and we tend to perceive the mind as the person. I don't know. It would be interesting to find out if this is expressed the same way in other languages and cultures.
What you're describing, romanticoptimist, is STIGMA....the "illness" is the person, the person is the "illness".
What I've found, dealing with "normal" people, is that unless the illness is profound, or in an acute stage, most people believe that we can control it if we just "pull up our boot straps", and try.
The unfortunate thing is, that until diagnosed, often we don't have a clue what's happening. To us, going out and spending the RENT money on clothes and shoes isn't a big deal, because we'll "figure out a way....don't worry....it'll be ok". And if it only happens once, it might not be a disaster. But what if it happens next month....then the next, then what?
When does the person who's doing the spending go to the Doctor, to get help with their problem...which could very well be Bi-polar disorder. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:36:16 PM | | Well yes there is something wrong in their noggin but it is NOT PREVENTABLE and it mostly HEREDITARY. Its a chemical imbalance in the person brain basically making them person feel and live raw emotion they can not control. People who are not bipolar do not react on raw emotion they process the emotion and then act it out accordingly. Do some research before you post again and be glad you aren't Bipolar because its hell. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:11:42 AM | The reason is basically that the brain is simply not designed to monitor how it is functioning when it is damaged. As a brilliant psychiatrist told me once, 'The brain does not know when the brain is sick'.
We don't have 'diagnostic software' in our heads, and trying to figure out what's wrong when you're not making sense is a little like trying to bite your own teeth. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:26:04 AM | Be careful of assuming that if a person is irritable or erratic in their attitude or behavior, that they are bipolar.
Most of those 'manic' phases are actually quite brief and many bipolars spend most of their time at the other extreme - depressed. In not a few cases, manic episodes last only a few days, and quite a few people with bipolar disorder experience only a few manic phases in their entire lifetime.
Too, quite a few bipolar people are the 'life of the party' and are considered to be very 'sociable', 'fun' and 'a barrel of laughs' when they are manic. Mania doesn't necessarily make people mean at all.
There's the famous old story of the guy with severe mania who runs down the hall when he sees the doctor and shouts excitedly while vigorously pumping the doctor's hand and slapping him on the back, 'Why Doc! You're looking better already!'
Wild spending sprees, drug abuse and promiscuity tend to make mania VERY popular in some circles. It's because the person loses inhibitions and judgement when they are having mania. The 'brakes' are gone. That's precisely why mania is such an emergency. Manic episodes have been known to make people think they can fly, so they jump off buildings. They can damage their lives permanently thru drug use, gambling or sleeping with an HIV positive person. They can lose family, friends and loved ones, and it is also a medical emergency. Manic episodes have been known to make people die of exhaustion, dehydration or heart failure when they over exert themselves.
As one bipolar man told me, 'When I have mania, that part of my brain that says, 'No John, that's a bad idea', I don't know where that part of my brain goes, but it's GONE'.
There's the old story of the husband who asks the doctor, 'What does mania mean doc, and how can I tell when my wife has it? The doctor replies, 'Well, Mr Jones, it's when your wife goes wild in bed, makes friends with everyone, drinks like mad and stays up all night cleaning the house', to which Mr Jones replies, 'Doc, are you saying that's a BAD thing?'
The average number of cycles a person experiences in their lifetime is something like FIVE. It is not a daily occurance and it is NOT the explanation for most erratic behavior you see.
Even with 'rapid cycling' disorder, the fastest changes of mood, or 'mixed episodes', which are quite rare, you don't see the sudden changes in attitude and mood that people usually describe a person who is 'difficult' and 'changeable' have. Even in rapid cycling people's moods last WEEKS, not minutes.
If you ever see a 'mixed episode' you will NEVER mistake in for anything else. It's unbelievable.
I once heard of a guy experiencing a mixed episode who ran in front of a car, and then proceeded to run a mile and a half on two broken legs. Another fellow jumped out the hospital window (he had just been admitted) and ran down the street, again, two broken legs.
Much of the 'changeable', 'erratic' behavior you see in people is not bipolar disorder at all, but a personality disorder, depression or some other disorder. People who are irritable are often suffering from a medical disorder that makes them feel bad, some are on incorrect amounts of medications for other conditions, and the medication (or combination of medications prescribed by different doctors) makes them irritable.
A goodly amount of anger and irritability has to do with substance abuse. With nearly 20% of the country's population said to e suffering from substance abuse, that's not exactly a rare situation.
People who are constantly angry, unhappy or have bursts of temper, and not necesssarily bipolar. When a bipolar person is angry, unhappy or has bursts of temper, it isn't necessarily due to his or her illness at all. The person may feel frustrated, stigmatized and angry at having an illness they can't seem to get a handle on. A person with a mental illness may be unhappy just simply in reaction to having a mental illness. It seems unfair and people grieve. Grieving can make many people very changeable and angry and irritable.
People who are depressed quite often are extremely irritable. They 'fly off the handle' at the slightest thing - this doesn't mean they're bipolar.
The most changeable, unpredictable, nasty two people I know are two relatives, functioning at a very low level of chronic depression usually referred to as 'dysthymia'. One of them suffers from 'rage disorder' and has since childhood. He also has paranoia when the depression worsens, which at times it does, even though most of the time he appears to 'coast' along at a fairly miserable level, angry, complaining, accusing and keeping busy with his work, which he's quite good at.
He can be EXTREMELY irritable and can change from discussing something rationally to screaming and throwing things in the space of one second. Once he had an incredibly outburst because I dropped a 1/4" piece of carrot on the floor and did not speak to me for three days after. He married a strong, opinionated woman who set sensible boundaries, insisted on reasonable behavior and accepted yelling but not throwing and hitting. They got divorced after several years. His next wife also divorced him, when their toddler daughter was curiously poking at a heavy planter on a shelf and he said, 'let her pull it down on her, it will teach her a lesson to do what she's told'. The mother saw that the heavy planter would have killed the toddler, and moved out that day and started divorce proceedings. It was the last straw in a long line of incidents.
The other has very strong outbursts of temper occasionally but is otherwise similar. They are the children of a mother who had chronic untreated depression and a father who had the same violent outbursts of temper, and frequently seemed depressed, angry and isolated, and became paranoid when his depression was worse. The two relatives have feuded and had a very up and down relationship over the years; they did not speak to each other for thirteen years after the brother acted 'uppity' to the sister when they were on a church trip together.
Neither of them would EVER be diagnosed as 'bipolar' by any decent health care professional. They would probably both respond well to mild antidepressant medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and counseling, but are not willing to accept any help.
Depression has somehow gotten a reputation as a 'fashionably tragic' disease in which people just sit around with their head in their hands, and look sad and grateful when people try to help. In truth, depression in itself is a very major illness that has a profound affect on people's responses, behavior and perceptions.
These days, anyone who has annoying behavior tends to get called 'bipolar' and it is started to be a synonym for '***hole' instead of a diagnosis.
Please don't assume that if a person is irritating or angry, that the are 'bipolar'. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:41:51 AM | hurricane hanna...
Thank you for that post....I audibly sighed with relief when I finished it.
This was one of my favourite stories that you told.....There's the old story of the husband who asks the doctor, 'What does mania mean doc, and how can I tell when my wife has it? The doctor replies, 'Well, Mr Jones, it's when your wife goes wild in bed, makes friends with everyone, drinks like mad and stays up all night cleaning the house', to which Mr Jones replies, 'Doc, are you saying that's a BAD thing?'
One time, while in a manic state, I was helping my boyfriend move. I was very irritable, as my "monthly red river from hell" was due in a day or so. My boyfriend went to unlock the door to his new place. He turned around, and I had brought about 3 large items from the truck to the door. He opened the door, I brought in the three items, and then he held the door while I unloaded the truck. He helped with the furniture, because I would have damaged it, had I moved it myself.
In my particular case, hormones wreaked havoc with the bipolar, and BPD, and not in a good way. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/28/2009 5:17:09 PM | I've heard quite a few people with bipolar disorder say that their fragile systems reacted incredibly to hormonal changes, fatigue, improper diet, anxiety. BOY you gotta take good care of yourself if you have bipolar disorder! Having a schedule helps.
I had the funniest experience once. I volunteered in a nursing home and got to know a number of patients as well as their visitors (I stuck out like a sore thumb because I brought my dog, LOL). One of the guys one weekend told me I'd be meeting Kevin, and that he had just gotten out of the hospital after a doozy of a manic episode. Finally Kevin burst into the room and shouted, 'HI I'M KEVIN AND I'M BIPOLAR!!!'
LOL. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 2/28/2009 6:40:50 PM | At my college house, the guy with bipolar disorder was extremely popular, he'd sometimes stay up cleaning for days. When he was hospitalized one of the guys in the house said, 'This place is going to go to rack and ruin now'.  | |
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