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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:40:58 PM | I have bipolar disorder. It is very difficult to find someone who isn't influenced by the negative stereotypes the media has portrayed for decades now.
I think the more people who are afflicted with this disorder talk about it in an open forum, the better. It may shock some people who take the time to read that some bipolars are wonderful people who present no danger to society or themselves. Personally, I wouldn't hurt a fly and have so much to offer a woman. I am a true romantic with compassion and love to share. However, my positive attributes are rarely on display because I cannot seem to find the right understanding woman.
So keep talking and posting to the forums if you have bipolar disorder. You never know who's eyes you may open towards who you really are inside. Good luck to the OP. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:34:08 PM | I have dated a shyolder man that changes into positive and negative personality in a blink of an eye while we are dining and talking, It really gaves me a creep,he'd look at me with a rounded eyes and put his forefinger and thumb inside his mouth like touching is lower back tooth,then he'd be back to normal chatty and friendly.. I felt really grossed that he touched my hand and face with his hand full of dried salivas full of bacteria.
I was thinking that perhaps this is a bipolar symtoms, so I asked him >>"do you know what is a bipolar ,desease ? Is it a mental sickness? " His reply was precised > No it is not a mental sickness, but you have to make the person happy all the time..... Gee, that is a hard job to make a person happy all the time. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:57:46 PM | Mindchatter,
If you need to draw attention to yourself by announcing that you are bipolar then you have a problem. If you have control over your behavior, there is no reason to mention anything about your problem until quite a bit later in the relationship. The only reason to make early mention of your problem is if you expect that you behavior will be erratic and difficult. In other words, you are giving us forewarning. Many of us who have experienced this erratic and difficult behvior will NEVER put themselves in that position again. It is all consuming. The relationship loses its balance. It is all about YOU. I don't want this kind of relationship. There are limits to the amount of love and understanding that you are entitled to. You don't deserve this continued love and understanding if the relationship is only about you. There needs to be balance. Are you truly capable of giving that balance in a relationship?? | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 4:57:30 PM | boinkboinkboink
Without prejudice...
I THINK that mindchatter's intent was mostly to point out that some of the information on this thread pertains to people with Borderline Personality Disorder, not Bipolar Disorder.
And she is absolutely right. Technically, Borderline Personality Disorder is a much more difficult disorder to treat, is not very responsive to medication, and the mood swings can be wild, and frequent. (Even a rapid-cycle bipolar has to be in a "mood" for a week for it to be considered a "swing". Borderlines can "swing" numerous times in a day-it's exhausting)
Bipolar is very treatable-except if the person doesn't want to comply....side effects, weight gain, going on and off meds (it's better to just not take them), using alcohol, and other substances with meds....all these things can make a bipolar seem very difficult. And it can be, until the proper dosage and combination of meds is found. Once the jackpot is hit, the sailing should be smooth for a while, as long as one keeps the status quo. I've been on the same meds for five years, and I have no problem until something new is added and that can be a vitamin pill....yes, that will throw my system off for a while.
Some insurance companies will not cover Borderline....we are considered untreatable...so the Doctor will call the illness Bipolar Disorder....because it can be treated with medication and therapy. That's another reason for "misdiagnosis".
I understand that your motivation and intent were honorable, in your failed relationship. Some of us were subjected to that behaviour by our parents. In that case, you're STUCK...nothing can be done. You went through it, you got out of it, and now, HOPEFULLY you will be able to recognize red flags, and avoid finding yourself in the same position again. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:04:25 PM | Quazi,
When she makes this statement, "We're all individuals and deserve a fair shake based on our own merits and not what media and misinformation and society's stigma has to say about it", she is completely discrediting those of us who have actually experienced those individuals with this illness. Whether you or she chooses to acknowledge this, more often than not, the behavior of BP is extremely brutal - so brutal that they are often dangerous. A bipolar person, in an extreme case, will take a gun to his family. I have a close famly friend whose son did precisely this. This is no minor illness. Those individuals who have not experience this illness before MUST step very carefully with a person who acknowledges having this illness. I would also suggest that those less extreme cases may not be BP. They may simply be suffering from depression, misdiagnosed, or may be suffering from abuse and acting out in reaction to this abuse. For example, a person overwhelmed by a very controlling person may also demonstrate BP type behavior, but completely lose that behavior once seperated from that person. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:16:02 PM | I believe one should not start off a relationship with deception. Honesty is better than being evasive.
Not all people with bipolar are the same. Just as not all diabetics are the same...I should know as I have both....lol. I am sure some people have had bad experiences with others who have bipolar disorder. But like I said before, there are also wonderful people who happen to have bipolar. After all, bipolar is what we have, not who we are.
I believe that I am a man who treats women better than most other men. I respect women, make sure they know I care about them and treat them with kindness. I am very intelligent and have a wide interest in many things. Does the above description sound like the negative stereotype that has been portrayed by the media and Hollywood concerning bipolar disorder?
People with bipolar disorder just need to be given a chance to be able to show who they are and not be pre-judged. My best friend is paraplegic and runs into the same biases and preconceptions, or should I say misconceptions where it concerns relationships. He is a fantastic man and one of the most courageous people I have ever met. Like me, he is looked upon as only being in a wheelchair, and all of his positive qualities are dismissed.
People claim to be open-minded and compassionate. Unfortunately with some responses in this and other threads, it is hard to see. After all, you may be missing out on the love of your life by passing over people like me and my friend. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 6:20:11 PM | boinkboink
I am sorry you had a bad experience with someone who was bipolar. I understand your reluctance to get involved with someone else who is bipolar.
Your mistaken to blanket all bipolars as the same...dangerous or potentially dangerous. You had a bad experience, but it isn't fair to generalize all bipolars like you have. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:00:14 PM | What a heart rending thread! I'm so sorry for you that you're going through this and that your dad would let ANYONE come before his own child. There is a book @ bipolar ism called stop walking on eggshells. Maybe reading it would help you to sound like you know what you are talking about and then, you could write your dad an honest letter-one that he could keep and read over and over, so that he thinks about the effect she is having on his life and his daughter too. Best of luck to you dear | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:01:41 PM |
When she makes this statement, "We're all individuals and deserve a fair shake based on our own merits and not what media and misinformation and society's stigma has to say about it", she is completely discrediting those of us who have actually experienced those individuals with this illness. Whether you or she chooses to acknowledge this, more often than not, the behavior of BP is extremely brutal - so brutal that they are often dangerous. A bipolar person, in an extreme case, will take a gun to his family. I have a close famly friend whose son did precisely this. This is no minor illness. Those individuals who have not experience this illness before MUST step very carefully with a person who acknowledges having this illness. I would also suggest that those less extreme cases may not be BP. They may simply be suffering from depression, misdiagnosed, or may be suffering from abuse and acting out in reaction to this abuse. For example, a person overwhelmed by a very controlling person may also demonstrate BP type behavior, but completely lose that behavior once seperated from that person.
She is not discrediting anyone. She is stating that bipolar comes in many different sizes and shapes...varying degrees of severity. YOU ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS COMPLAINING ABOUT. I am bipolarII, and I know several people who are bipolar...manias include wild shopping sprees, creativity, lots of furniture re-arranging, having sex whenever possible....depressions usually include sleep, and not much else. No violence...no one got hurt. Are you sure that this person who took a gun to his family didn't have BPD and wasn't bipolar at all? "Extremely brutal sounds much more Borderline Personality Disorder than Bipolar to me. I have both, please don't tell me I'm wrong. What are you basing your alternate "diagnosis" on. Have you done research? Studied criteria? Please show me some facts.
Why might not less extreme cases be bipolar? | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:52:46 PM | "Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme variations in mood, from mania and/or irritability to depression. Alterations in mood (commonly referred to as "mood swings") between mania and depression can be frightening and disturbing for persons who have this disorder as well as family members and those people who know and work with them. Manic episodes can be especially distressing because they are often associated with high-risk behaviors like substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, immoderate spending, VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, and disregard for danger. The capacity for empathy is also typically reduced or absent, leaving family members and others without the usual interpersonal protections and understandings that empathy (knowing how our words and actions affect others) provides."
http://www.depressioncenter.org/depressive_disorders/bipolar.asp
"Patients usually describe BIPOLAR ANXIETY as an agitated condition during which you may lose your normal capacity of rational thinking and reasonable judgment."
http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/bipolar-anxiety.html
There are tons of sources linking violence with bipolar disorder.
Quazi, I have personally experienced the consequenes of this violent behavior. You, on the other hand are the one who is sick with this illness. The very nature of this illness denies you the ability to truly understand yourself. This is nothing against you as an individual; this is the reality of this illness.
Step very carefully with these people and understand very clearly how extreme their particular case is.
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:29:50 PM | Violent behavior is not the rule of thumb for starters.
This also only happens when the person is NOT medicated.
It is NOT a daily thing that is triggered by typical social interactions where one has to walk on eggshells. THAT would be borderline personality.
Trying to spook people seems to be your main motive here.
Fortunately, the more intelligent crowd will weigh the evidence and facts and biases carefully before casting us all off as violent thugs.
Good luck in the pond. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:10:05 PM | Mindchatter
I could not agree more. There is no more of a predisposition to violence in bipolars than in the general public. In fact, I would wager bipolars are less violent, as a percentage than non-affected people.
Of the millions of people in jail, what are the numbers of bipolars relative to the overall population of violent offenders? I bet the numbers are comparable to the percentage of bipolars in the general public.
Even though I am on medication, it does not help me with anything other than physical pain. Cymbalta affects seratonin, which is also a pain modifying hormone. Many bipolars suffer with bodily pain that is similar to fibromyalgia. I have tried dozens of meds and nothing works.
I have never committed any kind of violent act in my adult life. I got in a few fights as a kid but nothing out of the norm. How many husbands and boyfriends have hit their spouses who are not bipolar? I have never touched a woman in anger, so generalizations again only hurt others who suffer from this disorder. The stereotyping is harmful to people who are completly innocent.
Thank you Mindchatter for trying to keep the facts straight. More bipolars need to speak up and defend against misinformation....thank you for your courage. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:19:52 PM | http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2006/09/18/stigmatizing-bipolar-disorder/
http://www.lifeloveandbipolar.com/node/67
http://www.pendulum.org/bpnews/archive/001690.html
Here are 3 articles that backs up my thoughts about people with bipolar disorder and violent crime. Bipolars are no more violent criminals than the general population.
The main culprit to most violent crimes is drug abuse, not mental disorders.
I hope this info quells the disinformation about bipolars and violent crimes. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:43:47 PM | http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/06/07/bipolar-domestic-violence/
For any one person in the general population with anger issues, if he is bipolar he is more likely to act on those issues in a violent manner.
Bipolar disorder exaggerates existing problems. Therefore any caution that you might have with any one "normal" individual must be far greater with one who suffers from this illness.
This also only happens when the person is NOT medicated.
Most bipolar people resist taking their drugs.]
... casting us all off as violent thugs.
I most certainly did NOT attempt to do this. Please, get your emotions under control. You're reacting. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:06:45 PM |
Please, get your emotions under control. You're reacting.
LOL.
Save your bait for more worthy fish in the pond. ;)
Sorry for the experience you've had though. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:10:19 AM | Boinkboink
The article you posted is a blog from a journalist. She is not an experet or even a doctor. It mentions in her blog that people with mental illnesses are not prone to violence. She even mentions most cases where violence was present in bipolars, drugs or alcohol were also involved.
You had a bad experience with someone...I understand your anger. But your experience was a rare exception to the norm. Instead of using your anger to demonize all people with bipolar disorder, channel it into something positive. Good luck to you. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:08:08 AM | boinkboink
Manic episodes can be especially distressing because they are often associated with high-risk behaviors like substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, immoderate spending, VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, and disregard for danger. The capacity for empathy is also typically reduced or absent, leaving family members and others without the usual interpersonal protections and understandings that empathy (knowing how our words and actions affect others) provides."
This would be the BLACK BOX warning about bipolar disorder, similar to what you would find on any medication.
Example:
Any Antidepressant...may cause depression, mania, constipation, diarrhea....they list every "symptom" that their research groups had...as you can see, the symptoms can go from one extreme to another...
No one is saying that NO bipolar EVER gets violent. And look where it's listed...second from last....substance abuse is first.
Most people that I know that are bipolar, take huge risks with their own lives.....the danger aspect of some people's brain just takes a vacation....my ex-boyfriend wanted to make love to his wife on the yellow line down the middle of the road....when she said no, he took her into a ditch....while a party was going on around them.
I made up a new slogan for Nike, I thought it was better than "Just Do It"...I was trying to get a flight to New York......
Neither my ex-boyfriend, or I had been diagnosed when these things happened. After being diagnosed, and medicated, stuff like that doesn't happen anymore. Sometimes another drug can stop our medication from working properly. When that happens, I know almost immediately, because I start thinking "differently" than usual. I stop whatever is new, and get my ass to the Doctor. Please don't tell me that I don't know, because I suffer from the illness. I know within hours of my behaviour changing. And I hate being manic.....I did a bad number on my life while manic. I know by what's going on in my head, that I'm becoming manic, WAY before you would see any outward change.
Your BLACK BOX warning is just that....a "cover ALL the bases " warning. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:18:54 AM |
Quazi, I have personally experienced the consequenes of this violent behavior. You, on the other hand are the one who is sick with this illness. The very nature of this illness denies you the ability to truly understand yourself. This is nothing against you as an individual; this is the reality of this illness.
Have you looked at the criteria for BPD?
Violent behaviour is more associated with BPD than bipolar.
BPD violent behaviour would LIKELY be more viscious than bipolar violence. More PERSONAL. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:51:13 AM | OP it looks like you received quite a few good answers. Having lived through this. I would make sure, when you do talk to your dad, that you let him know that she is isolating him and that you are there for him if he needs you.
It is horrible that you can and do get used to dealing with the yelling and screaming. Your father has probably given up and that is why he isn't defending you.
Stay away from her, nothing you can do about her. She has her own conversations going on in her head. You can't imagine what she thinks or why she says what she says. You can't figure out how or why crazy people think what they do. The older some one is that has bi-polar disorder or manic episodes, the more their brain is wired to have them. Medication can help, but the person that has bi-polar disorder has to take the medications and be the guinea pig. Even then, you never know if they will still have them.
Good luck | |
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| experience with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:07:47 PM | AMBITIOUS LIBRA
the condition can be caused by trauma, genetics, post traumatic stress disorder, but the net result is that there is a change in the morphology of the brain
used to be called "manic depression"
EASILY TREATED WITH LITHIUM CARBONATE
450 mg twice day
however, L/C has to be monitored by testing blood levels of liver enzymes and renal function to ensure that no damage to those organs is occurring
there are additional treatments on the market now too
lithium is a highly flammable (nearly epxlosive) metal which -- like sodium -- will react with water to ignite BUT is in contact with dilute carbolic acid or carbon dioxide it can produce lithium carbonate
an example of a highly combustible metal combining with the same substance resulting in a great product is so-called "baking soda"
baking soda is sodium bicarbonate -- madethe same way and it is used to bathe babies, sooth burns, settle acid stomach, soak up odors, etc., so even tho the process sounds diabolical it results in a very useful compound.
contact me if you wanna talk about it -- lots of experience with it and IT IS ALL GOOD!! | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:47:35 PM | | My ex is bipolar. The last 2 years of our marriage were hell! He's paranoid & a schizophrnic. He would instigate arguments,& then twist my words around when I would defend myself . He wasn't physically abusive....thank God...but he was verbally abusive,at times. He was very loving & caring when things went his way. It was like living in a "si-fi movie"! Sad part is,that they don't change,wheather on meds or not. I feel for you sweetie.....Good luck! | |
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| experience with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 1:57:00 PM | As far as meds go. I am told my ex takes about 2 feet of pills! Once in the morning and once in the evening. He has been described as a zombie now. He even went to a Disney movie! Butttt he still seems to go manic just leaving a voice mail for me. The stuttering is a tell tale sign.
So to the guy that said EASILY TREATED WITH LITHIUM CARBONATE | |
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| experience with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 2:42:29 PM | It IS easily treated with LC.
IF it's the proper diagnosis.
Often, people are misdiagnosed... | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 2:54:41 PM | Thank you Mindchatter for statement below.
I might add that poorly informed people only hear about the violent incidents because they are more " NEWS WORTHY".
<div class="quote">Violent behavior is not the rule of thumb for starters.
Famous people who have not only lived with a Bi-Polar Disorder, but have thrived and created muchof the music, art and statement regarding social conscience :
Ernest Hemmingway, Edgar Allan Poe, Thomas Edison, Henry Ford,
Winston Churchill, Patty Duke, Carley Simon, James Taylor, Elton John, Kurt Kobane, Abraham Lincoln, Robin Williams, Mike Wallace, Truman Capote, Theodore Roosevelt and the list grows day by day
One of the differences between the group above, which is a small persentage of those who have been diagnosed, is that these people either self medicated with alcohol or drugs. Some have been fortunate enough to use their disorder to propel themselves into an affluent celebrity status and have been able to afford the best treatment money can buy and still pay their bills.
So the next time you are busting a gut laughing at Robin Wiliams, turning on an electric light beacuse of Edison or reading the history of WW II or the Civil War. Wondering what were Churchill and Lincoln going thru in those dark days.
In this day and age we need to remember the trauma that our troops have to live with when they return home after fighting for our freedom of speech.
Mindchatter thanks again for his statement
<div class="quote">This also only happens when the person is NOT medicated.
Part of the medication equation involves those diagnosed being told " Your a Wack Case, stay away from me !" or " My child isn't mental " .
Acceptance is a powerful narcotic, we will avoid the things we need to live a
" STABILE " life. So that the people at the bar where you used to get drunk and buy pot , coke or whatever was your numbing agent of choice .
People degraded someone trying to get to a better place in their mind, by validating your own self-medicating behavior. There are many people living productive lives who have been diagnosed and are working hard to try to live a " normal " life.
In the next 24 hours, how many will be killed, crippled and lose mother, fathers and children because someone was...  ?
There is alot that can be learned about Mental and Emotional Disorders.
If you choose to be 'ignorant', thats fine. Don't choose to spread your ignorance and fear.
That is a worse disease than Bi-Polar Disorder will ever be.
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:38:10 PM |
My ex is bipolar. The last 2 years of our marriage were hell! He's paranoid & a schizophrnic. He would instigate arguments,& then twist my words around when I would defend myself . He wasn't physically abusive....thank God...but he was verbally abusive,at times. He was very loving & caring when things went his way. It was like living in a "si-fi movie"! Sad part is,that they don't change,wheather on meds or not. I feel for you sweetie.....Good luck!
Chances are, if absolutely nothing is any different, when the person is on meds....the meds are doing nothing.....and the person has been misdiagnosed.
No change whatsoever=barking up the wrong tree. | |
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