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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:11:03 AM | Ok if anyone is going to attack me for this, bring it on. I love a good fight. (just kidding)
I guess we can call this my coming out party. 
I was diagnosed as bipolar in the mid 80s This was when they were treating it with lithium and there wasn't very much published about the disease.
When I was really sick it was mainly around the time of having babies and when I had periods. I also had endometriosis and was hospitalized several times right after giving birth. I was even jailed once only two weeks after having a baby when that was how they dealt with it. They used to put people in jail until they could be evaluated and they were indeed treated like criminals at that time.
After having my third child didn't alleviate the symptoms of the endometriosis I was given the option of having one more child and breastfeeding or just having a hysterectomy so we opted to try once more and I had my son. Breastfeeding went fine and I was able to keep it up until he was 10 months old, then weening brought on symptoms again. I was hospitalized only for three days, given a pump and meds and sent home. Then had the hysterectomy.
The hysterectomy was a godsend. I was able to ween off the drugs with the help of my doctor and was drug free for over 15 years with no symptoms .
I recently started taking meds again because my doctor decided I was depressed even though I kept telling him I wasn't. The symptoms are starting to come back just like I thought they would. Note: Doctors are in business to make money. I'm not saying they're bad perse' but unless we're sick they don't have a job.
Here's what I was able to glean from all of this.
If you have bipolar or any mental illness it's simply a chemical imbalance in the brain which is in that sense a physical problem. So it's not a character flaw and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
But practically anyone with poor eating habits, relationship issues, and chemical dependancy like coffee, cigarettes, pot or other drugs, pms, menopause, post partum problems, abuse and anything else that can mess with your psyche can also cause a chemical imbalance if not treated.
So I believe a lot of people are misdiagnosed and they should be kept in a controlled environment, given food and vitamins and treated like a human being and observed and not given medication until it's been clearly indicated that they're mentally ill.
If they've been treated for let's say two weeks and still have no symptoms it's safe to say they're ok, and maybe just needed a rest and to get away from whatever was bothering them.
If they have symptoms, I would first rule out hormonal problems, or withdrawal from whatever they were on and then and only then give them therapy for a mental illness and medication if they're severe enough.
If someone isn't mentally ill and they're given medication for someone who is they can start to show the same symptoms. It's only common sense. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:25:01 AM | This is the world of relationships that we're dealing with, and from that perspective there are two parts to dealing with disorders like this. One part is the disorder itself, and all that is known or thought about it; that has been written about here to the nth. The other part is what I want to focus on, which is the practical side of dealing with the particular instance of the problem.
It doesn't matter that some or even many people with the disorder can have successful treatment, or that some can't or wont. Making a judgment about either this victim of the disease, or the daughter and father who are struggling with it is not helpful, as it does not point to what to do.
The situation as it stands, is that the father is continuing the relationship with the woman, and she is driving the daughter away. From a practical standpoint, all the daughter can do, is to express support to the father, and then stand back for her own sake. This is best both for her, and for her father, since continuing to battle with the woman will be like fighting a shooting war in his house, with all the peripheral (in this case, emotional) injuries involved. It is tragic that she will lose time from her relationship with her father, but as long as the father stays with this woman, and she continues her behavior, there's nothing else to be done.
My ex wife is a similar bipolar person. The medicines alternately helped and hurt. Ultimately, she decided that I was the real problem, so we are split now. She continues to behave erratically, as this woman does. I have full sympathy for the disorder, and council my sons often on how their mother is under the sway of her chemical imbalances, but I also council them that she is still responsible for the choices she makes and sticks with (such as blaming others for everything and anything that goes wrong in her life). If she were a saintly person who had a dangerously contagious incurable disease, the situation would be the same. Have compassion for her, and for those who must try to help her, but protect yourself from the dangers and damages of the disease. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:32:48 AM | | My dad is severe with Bipolar. Yes it does sound some of her less admirable qualities are part of the condition however........It sounds as if she is a b**ch too. And now unfortunately she has an "excuse" to be this way. I reckon you should take a step back. If your dad wishes to ruin his relationship with you then that's his choice. Just politely say "dad I love you and I will be here for you but only when your ready". He may realize his mistake he may not. Respect is earned never assumed and your right with it going both ways. If you can have a chat with him and show him your post then do so...It may open his eyes if not then I wish you all the luck. Chin Up | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:16:07 AM |
But practically anyone with poor eating habits, relationship issues, and chemical dependancy like coffee, cigarettes, pot or other drugs, pms, menopause, post partum problems, abuse and anything else that can mess with your psyche can also cause a chemical imbalance if not treated.
You've made some great points, heartuvgold2....
Your "gleaning" makes alot of sense.
Here is a link to a radio show from Minniapolis, with two Psychiatrists discussing depression, bipolar disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
One caller describes how she had one "episode", was diagnosed bipolar, and was on meds for four years.
She isn't bipolar....she's been off the meds for two years, and had no problems. She had problems while she was on the meds, for a disorder that she didn't have.....it's very interesting.
http://minnesota.publicradio.org/www_publicradio/tools/media_player/popup.php?name=minnesota/news/programs/2009/09/09/midmorning/midmorning_hour_2_20090909_64 | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:29:41 AM | | I know bipolar is a serious disorder. If you are in a relationship with someone that has it you seriously need to do the research on how to adjust to her. I was married to a woman that was bipolar. I loved her hard .Yes we split up. It wasn't cause she was bipolar it was that she didn't want to get help. She wasn't taking her lithium. I had the best and the worst times with her. It is not easy trying to understand it when you don't have the problem yourself. One minute she's wanting to love you ,and the next she wants to come at you with anger .It's an emotional roller-coaster. The best advice I can say is if you really care about her , encourage her to get the help both of you need to make it work .She may be hurting inside ,cause she can't controll the way she is .That's why getting help ,and being strong is important .If you won't do that ,then you need to move on. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 12:09:21 PM | | Bipolarism lol. That's like calling it diabetesism or something. Take your meds, go to therapy, be nice to people. Your stepmom is prolly a b.itch to start out with but her constant mood swings just magnify her problem. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:41:31 PM | | actually quasi, I did go into serious depression. It's hard for me to call it depression. It was like my mind was so exhausted and burned out. It is normal though considering I barely slept during the manic episode and expended so much energy. I can understand how people do feel so hopeless in that state of mind. Its still a bit of a challenge but my frame of mind is much much better today than it was following the manic episode back at that time. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:44:33 PM | | Quasi. actually i rewatched the video and realize that Dr. Carter did mention the kindling effect briefly. I wonder if this bp is causing my memory problems as well ;) | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/22/2009 12:41:40 AM | Quasi. actually i rewatched the video and realize that Dr. Carter did mention the kindling effect briefly. I wonder if this bp is causing my memory problems as well ;)
I have memory problems too. My disorders (bipolar, BPD) are very connected to stress, and anxiety.
The very short version, is that every day stress and anxiety can cause me to become overwhelmed.
When I become overwhelmed, I become very scattered and I have trouble concentrating.
If I'm not concentrating very well, I don't remember things...important things, sometimes.
I have learned over time, that when this happens, if I don't take a short break...by myself...later on down the road, I will have to take a longer break. In other words, if I don't have time for a short break, I find it.
I will do something that feels frivolous, or something that I really enjoy that's away from my normal environment. Something as simple as driving for an hour, stopping for an ice-cream (or whatever you enjoy) eating the ice cream where I am.....(not in the car!)
By the time I get home, my mind has had the time to process what's overwhelming me, and I go home feeling somewhat refreshed.
The main part of this is what you have picked to do that you enjoy. If it's an ice cream cone, savour every mouthful, really enjoy that ice cream.
If you've taken your mind off your stress, anxiety for a short period of time, you should go back home thinking about the ice cream cone.
The very short version here, is stopping and smelling the roses....It really does work. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:40:59 PM | | OP I had an ex that had been diagnosed as bipolar. Manic depressive behavior that was more like the episodes that were ackward but mostly incoherent. The episodes would involve an event that had occurred weeks ago that she had dealt with aside from the relationship. And those episodes were brought into the relationship. Very scary without medication which is what I had dealt with. I would allow the dad to make his own decision as to what he wants to deal with. Because the fiancee will be marrying the family not just the dad. It also seems like there may be in part an issue with the daughter and girlfriend related to the dad. Not uncommon when dealing in relationships with older children. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:58:01 PM | It was six years ago. It had been six months since we had been married. That's when she disclosed to me that she had been diagnosed with bi-polarism. In my opinion it was not a good time to disclose such an issue. However, I said we were married, I loved her deeply and one and we needed to work through it. She had confided in me that she could not keep the act up anymore. She had lead me to believe she was very happy when in fact she was very depressed most of the time. Really at that point she simply quit on our marriage.
For the next five years I did my best to be there for her. To support her and help her through the deep cycles of depression. Countless counselors and therapy, and one med after another. Unfortunately she never really came back to our relationship. For the most part, she was physically and emotional away from our marriage doing things that were not conducive to a marriage. I had to let her go. It took awhile for me to realize the person I fell in love with really did not exist. Today I have a lot of empathy for her. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:04:28 PM | Bipolar people can be very hard to be around for many reasons.
They are erratic. You never know what will set them off. They can be either
happy manics or angry manics. It sounds like she is the angry type of manic.
I'm sorry you have this happening between you and your dad.
All you can do is stay away from her if she is abusive to you.
If she is put on lithium it can make her seem like a normal person.
If her behavior is due to her mood swings and the medication evens out her
moods, there is hope that she can become a more fun person to be around.
I have seen people go from horrible lunatics to completely normal acting
as long as they took their lithium for bipolar disorder. So there is hope for her. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:57:40 PM | Well ambitious libra,
You have yourself a situation that requires you to make a very adult decision. One which I do not agree should ever have to be made by someone who is 17. To begin, lets the legal crap out of the way. Throwing the telephone at you and threatening your safety, in Canada, is illegal. As the US legal system and the Canadian legal system have origins in the same area, I would assume that this would also be illegal in any US state (should you be from the US). In Canada, the criminal code specifically highlights these types of assault under sections 264 and 266 Also, tossing a minor onto the street is a human rights violation in Canada. I'm sure there is something similar in US states as well. She can't do this to you - it is against the law.
You have asked for others to relate based on experience. I won't speech or whine -> but suffice to say, you can guess where I got the knowledge of Section 264 and 266 of the Canadian Criminal Code.
If what you claim is true, you have never raised your voice or swore to her - then you are much more intelligent than many other aged adults I know. By not raising your voice, or swearing at this person, you are attempting to control the situation without escalating it. Good job -> it is tough to do!!
The decision to be made is yours alone - sorry to say, anyone offering solutions is projecting themselves into your situation. All I can say is that, life is too short. Do not compromise your safety, your sense of comfort or your own well being. This is your home, you have a right to feel secure, happy and comfy under your own roof. You sound like a smart person. Thus, I am sure you have thought up a 1001 different solutions already. This is a very tough call and an unfortunate situation. I hope you are okay and you come out relatively unscathed in the end.
Good luck to you.
Cold canuk. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:49:41 AM | "It was six years ago. It had been six months since we had been married. That's when she disclosed to me that she had been diagnosed with bi-polarism. In my opinion it was not a good time to disclose such an issue. However, I said we were married, I loved her deeply and one and we needed to work through it. She had confided in me that she could not keep the act up anymore. She had lead me to believe she was very happy when in fact she was very depressed most of the time. Really at that point she simply quit on our marriage.
For the next five years I did my best to be there for her. To support her and help her through the deep cycles of depression. Countless counselors and therapy, and one med after another. Unfortunately she never really came back to our relationship. For the most part, she was physically and emotional away from our marriage doing things that were not conducive to a marriage. I had to let her go. It took awhile for me to realize the person I fell in love with really did not exist. Today I have a lot of empathy for her."
Just went through the same thing, its like living with a stranger. almost like watching them live their lives through a window... without you. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 10/2/2009 4:13:58 PM | | Nothin wrong with bipolar life has it's ups and downs and anybody tht has it a feel nothin but sympathy fir, it's not their fault, so all the hypocrits slagging ppl fir havin it should read about it first on the internet/leaflet before they judge the ppl who can't help having it, it's probably hypocrits who caused in the first place by not lettin these ppl fit in when they tried tae be friendly, fir the ppl who can see beyond bipolar a have total respect fir. | |
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