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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:33:34 PM | ~OP~ I'll leave the clinical diagnosis stuff out of this, since you aren't really needing more that what you already have to digest, but on the note of your father??? I am not quite sure it's "her" that is doing some of the damage. Sadly, it sounds like he is allowing the controlling behaviors, which doesn't allow him "victim" status, it allows him "participating in a rotten situation" status. You're a victim once, after that ~ it's a conscious choice to allow behaviors to continue with a spouse, friend, child, parent, co-worker, etc. There won't be any way to get through to him, I'm afraid. Sounds like he's picked sides already. I think you are right ~ back away. Distance sometimes gives people we love the time/space and wherewithall to wonder, "Hmmm ~ why isn't _________(insert you name here) around anymore?" You are so very in-tune with the situation, kudos on that note. Good luck to ya'.  | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:36:24 PM | Well...good to see a gathering together of a few folks that do have timely info on this subject. Quite candidly, before reading through this Thread, from which I have indeed gather lots of useful information to be sure, I had thunked, and this comes via conditioning from living in So Cal, I fear...but I had thunked that "Bi-Polar" referred to those individuals who "did it" with EITHER, male, or female Polar Bears, without making any individual sexual distinction twix't the two.
A little levity there!!
My oldest son (35) was diagnosed as being Bi-polar last year, by some kinda "shrink" or another...the problem being though, the kid, while under the care of that particular Psych-Doc was actually in the early stages of "cold turkey'ing" off of smoking, on a regular basis, chrystal meth...In short: He was a Tweeker of the highest magnitude, and somehow that shrink missed it...which leads me to believe that either, Numero Uno: Tweeker's share many characteristics of Bi-polar folks, OR, Numero Dos: Too often nowadays, "professionals", are very quick to label BI POLAR as the newest plague of modern life---AND, if my memory serves me right, not all that long ago, there was an alarming increase of cases of the dreaded: "A.D.D." (See Also: ADHD and AD/HD), which actually brought together a pretty impressive following, with "Plague Status" also tossed about...
So...is "Bi Polar" THE FLAVOR OF THE DAY, that will be replaced with the next best, FLAVOR OF THE DAY, when that FLAVOR OF THE DAY becomes easily SOLD to the mainstream, AND profitable to the sellers?
Now...when I was a kid, there wudn't no A.D.D. running amok through the population of other kids 'roundabout's my neighborhood, or school...there were only everyday, run o' the mill "A-Holes", who "acted out of the ordinary"---and the cure was not feeding them prodigious amounts of SPEED, or pampering them, or patting them on the head and telling them: "I'm O.K., you're O.K...so therefore we are ALL O.K., despite OUR differences"...and the cure back then was undeniably beautiful in it's scope, and simplicity, and rather cheap too, as opposed to the "killing" that Modern Medicine is making off'n the latest and greatest malady to bring mankind to it's knees (Bi Polarism), since...the last late and great malady to bring mankind to it's knees fizzled out (A.D.D.)...AND, the cure was: Kicking their gOoFy azz, on a regular basis, and voila!!! The problem disappeared pert near as suddenly as it had appeared...and they actually straightend up, and "flew right", as my dear, sweet, gray haired Mammy used ta say.
NOW...before someone Posts up and tells me that ya can't kick all the collective azzes of all the folks pegged with "Bi Polarism", or also, that just perhaps there IS poorly diagnosed cases, and yet just maybe, there really IS such a thing, and just maybe...I am nuts, got no heart, got no soul, got no compassion...Please save your breath. I will concede that there is something afoot, but I don't know that a whole new industry, or even new lexicon need be created to describe, or even treat something that has been around for a very long time....nor do I think for more than an instant, that there are NOT nefarious SOB's taking advantage for BIG PROFITS off'n folks with some sort of problem, that might could be easier cured (easier then a lightened wallet) with my easy to follow, easy to implement, and easy to understand method of stomping a mudhole in they's azz (The Medical Community), and taking away the opportunity for VICTIMHOOD from those who do surely look for ANY excuse as an explanation for them being much like them "A-Hole kids" I mentioned early on in this here Post...And for those who DO have a REAL problem? They have my sincere hope that they, and those who care about them, can learn to live with it, and/or that there is a REAL cure found, and soon.
Huh? | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:44:07 PM |
These people are very sick individuals when they dont have it under control and arent on medication.
It also doesnt take just a pill to fix it ...and can go for looooooong periods of time before they get it under control (years)
Part of their responsibility when knowingly afflicted by the illness is to be concerned enough for the people around them to do their utmost to keep it under control.
Sadly...this isnt often the case and they are VERY selfish individuals.
I can see this in a way but it doesn't mean that everyone should just give up on the individuals.
The most important person in my life was diagnosed with bipolar 8 years ago and it took us 7 years to even get this person to admit admit they needed help.
I know that this person is not evil - but it's the disease that is evil, and I wish people would be able to difterentiate between the individual and the illness. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:32:47 PM |
You're a victim once, after that ~ it's a conscious choice to allow behaviors to continue with a spouse, friend, child, parent, co-worker, etc.
Absolutely. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:40:23 PM | ""I know that this person is not evil - but it's the disease that is evil"
Evil is evil no matter how you wanna spin it and I really likes LukinRnd reply alot of these A-holes male and female need a serious good kick in the ass or possibly in there fricked up head.......
And I stand by my advise if you have a choice get the hell away from these people life's to short to deal with scum bags whom can't help themselves or maybe they can help themselves but treat other's like crap anyway.......
Fricken Phyco's yea you heard me... lol allright I concede on one point I'm sure they are all not exremely bad or evil but the ones that are RUN......... | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 12:14:53 AM | | I was married to a woman that was Bipolar.Getting hit,stabbed,items thrown at me wasn't fun.Plus the fact they don't know what is fact or reality.The best advice I got whiuch I should have listened to earlier was pack and run for the hills.If she causes you anymore problems get a restraining order.Mental health won't do a dam thing .get away and get on with your life.My x wasted nine years of my life.Glad I'm single and healthy.Yahooo! | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:45:16 AM | Posted By: saveyourself69
"They are not nice people they are only nice in the beginning to suck you in or they are nice if they feel they are going to lose you other then that there manipulative bi*ch's that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity..."
I was with my wife for 9 years and 6 of then we were married,I found out that she was bipolarisn the frist year (I KNOW ASK MYSELF WHY DID I JUST NOT LEAVE THEN) for the next 8 years it was hell it was ok for her to say stuff about my mom,my son,and all ways putting me done ever time she would make her self look good it's like now about 7 months she just got up and left I come to find out she was see other guy she made every one belive that I was be jelase and that she would never do any like that .
Now she is trying to suck in agian but to no luck she was served with the Divorced papers and child custody she must give up full custody of our 2 year old baby.
My life is a lot better now that I don't see or be next to my ex-wife life got better now!
I can say that saveyourself69 said it right that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity you need not to help her but help your dad before he lose he's santiy !!!!!!!!!!
"Love is blind you know they are sick but the love you have for them makes you go blind to see all hurt they do us " | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:14:40 AM | imnotyourstar...
I can see this in a way but it doesn't mean that everyone should just give up on the individuals.
The most important person in my life was diagnosed with bipolar 8 years ago and it took us 7 years to even get this person to admit admit they needed help.
I know that this person is not evil - but it's the disease that is evil, and I wish people would be able to difterentiate between the individual and the illness.
Most informed people can differentiate. Informed being the operative word.
Again...as I pointed out in my post...that the sufferer themselves have an onus of responsibility to the people around them.
I could get involved with somebody who was bipolar because I know enough about it that I could help be the guiding reference for them if need be and it wouldnt faze me.
ie. hey hon...you're mania is starting to get a little out of control...maybe time to see the doctor and get your doses altered or whatever.
What I wouldnt do...and this is particular to what you've said there (although you stated it wasnt diagnosed)...is be involved with someone as destructive as a bipolar sufferer for 7 or 8 yrs and it not be under reasonable control particularly if children were involved and in the household.
That draws my line every single time.
This really is my position with anybody who suffers from some type of mind altering disease whether it be bipolar, schizophrenia or even behavior associated through chemical dependency of some type or emotionally or physically abusive people.
One person's battle with a birth related illness (or anything else) like this is not worth the mental health development of children in a household and creating long term psychological damage to a tangent of multiple innocent people.
I can support them in the meantime from a distance ie. not abandon them...but I wouldnt allow direct uncontrolled impact on everybody else.
Its a hard call to make for some people...it wouldnt be for me. Id do what I have to do and if they chose to do absolutely nothing about it and I had to cut them lose for the sake of everybody else...Id do that too. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:17:14 AM | | I went thru this for 8 yrs. Didnt know it whem we were married. Later I found out she had been on medication for 40 years,even shock treatment in early yrs. Did the best I could,took her to many doctors,they just give her more pills. Her family give me loads of trouble all the way thru. Finaly just give up on her,later I heard her family put her in home, just my 2 cents worth | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:43:16 AM | | Dear Am, go on-line and search bi-polar. You will get all you want to know about it. It is difficult for them to have much of a life at all considering everything they have to go through. If you have n't ever heard this before, your Dad is your Dad and nothing is going to change that. Realize your Dad is caught in the middle of you two, He, more so than her, needs you to understand and love the the both of them. I know it will be hard, but steady kindness with make everything just find for the biggest part after all it is your Dads life. Bi-polar is aweful as you will see when you read, so give it your best shot from now own. Hey am, you want real peace in your life go to church and know Jesus and you can handle this and other things in your life with A breeze. good luck. doc | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:06:01 AM |
I know that this person is not evil - but it's the disease that is evil, and I wish people would be able to difterentiate between the individual and the illness.
I agree to a point. The problem is, you have to be able to live with the person AND the disease. It may sound harsh, but its true.
My ex with bi-polar is a good person, with lots of great characteristics and qualities. Unfortunately, her illness frequently overshadowed those positives. In the end, I decided I couldn't live that life long term.
In my experience, the true problem with bi-polar is that you never know why that person is acting the way they are acting. Are they pissed at you because you really did something wrong, or are they just in a depressed mode and hypersensitive? Did they go out and blow their whole paycheck on something stupid because they're financially irresponsible, or because they were having a manic episode? Are they acting like a righteous biatch because that is who they are, or because their medicines need adjusting?
I think my case was pretty typical in that the "lines" between the person and the disease were very blurry, making it very tough for me to know how to react to her. | |
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Sag56
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Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 63 | |
| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:17:28 AM | | some people are mad and some people are just really bad its up to the people that are close to them or need to deal with their behaviour to comprehend the difference. not easy if you can you need to walk away!! for your own sanity... good luck | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:54:49 AM | [quotte]so my question is this , what do u know bout bipolarism from EXPERIENCE?
this is the second time my dad has isolated himself from me because of a woman has something like this ever happend to you?
i really dont know what to do i have told my dad i dont htink he should marry her, i told him when it comes to respect the road goes both ways,
Hey there ambitious_libra , I feel for you. My mom is bi-polar and was literally Hell on Wheels for much of my life. Most of the men she married left her for much greener pastures. The kids she had did too later. One man stayed with her and was literally treated like her slave for the rest of his life. We all would try to ge him to stand up to her or leave her but he never did. Let me say this was a wonderful, stable, gentle man and without him we wouldn't have had much of a childhood at all. What we did have wasn't pretty.
Fast forward I actually came back into her life about 20 yrs ago. Right off the bat I set firm boundaries letting her know that if she crossed them I would be long gone. It helped a lot, I don't think anyone else ever did that with her. most of my family's relationship with her was all about the battle of the b*** and all either avoided her or fought with her or like my step-dad was owned by her as the case may be.
I would try to get your dad, maybe through a family intervention, to get some help with his co-dependency issues. It is much like being addicted to someone who drinks or does drugs you see. He seems to have surrendered the control of his life to her and everyone is looking at, watching and figuring her out. Sounds very familiar to me. No matter how crazy she acts or if she can help it or not, he is enabling her to come between you and the rest of your family. Perhaps he is lost in the drama but he needs to be aware of what he is doing by playing her victim, and you need to focus on his recovery not hers.
All you can do with her is set your own firm boundaries and keep them as calm as you can. She lives for Drama, if there isn't any she will create it. You might have to set them with your Dad too but I would try to do an intervention first with the family if possible.
I hope this helps you, nobody deserves this kind of treatment, especially you. The collateral damage for the innocent victims is assured by the willing participation of the original victim. He needs to wake up. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:05:59 AM | To Quazi 100:
"Best of luck to you and your daughter in the future.....you are a loving, compassionate Mom...."
Thank you so much for your kind comment. This disorder is indeed painful for the one affected, and trying for those around them. I see the discrimination and lack of understanding that my daughter faces everyday, but I am confident that with love and understanding, we will be able to educated people about this disorder, and provide a place of understanding instead of fear and misconceptions. | |
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Hagars
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Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 66 | |
| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:15:42 AM | Hello bigdaddy,
You seen the statistics for crimes committed against a person with a psych condition compared to those without one? Massively disproportionate
the lifespan of a person with a psych condition?almost 25 years less
only heart disease and cancer are bigger contributors to time off work for an employee?
the socio economic class most psych sufferers are in?
Truly an oppressed person in whats suppose to be a free world is the psych sufferer, media terrorise the general population with beat ups over a psych suffers danger to the community, where their more dangerous to us, they way they shun, abuse, take advantage, judge, label, discriminate us. They don't understand us and they have problems with their behavior towards us but will they admit that?
Like me and you admit here we have an illness that is projected as satanic by alot of churches?
I might of been put on lithium by a court and lithium could of given me cancer as it does to many? could of caused liver failure, could of gave me many blood disorders, could of treated my bipolar most of the time.
The court could of given me an order forcing me to take valpro, valpro could of given me liver failure, obesity, impotence, tiredness ,lethargy and various others.
Maybe the court would choose lamictal, seizures, skin altering rashes, disturbed vision or death ?
Maybe a cross med consisting of olanzapine, obesity, liver drama's ,diabetes, the list goes on. The same court that when we are there as a victim of a "normal persons" crime and they hear I was diagnosed with bipolar immediately massive doubt comes across,no evidence, no priors just straight out judgementation.
seeing coppers squirm as you give your victims statement and the diagnoses comes up is quite confronting.
There's a massive problem with people going off their meds, they don't like being fat, sexually dead, tired ,disturbed or lengthy sleeping patterns, unable to take meds such as aspirin, and even serious fatal conditions brought on by meds, but court orders are thrown on them and nothing really done proportional to get better meds or better treatments.
The media like to remind us of Jeffery dahlmer, but not of Albert einstein or as you mentioned Abraham Lincoln.
Personally i find the sentence "live a productive life" an offensive one from ignorant people.
Whats a productive life? How can I live one when someone spreads a rumour or slanders me to a person who knows i have a psych illness? instantly the majority will take on board seriously the slander and rumour based on ignorance and judgementation, there's not much i can do to counter it, Its a label, strongly present in this thread.
I am a motor sport competitor, just the other day i competed, my vehicle which i race on unsealed circuits, weighs about 1 ton and has 400 horsepower, no power steering or aids , I'm a clean, fair, skilled racer yet my government forever on an annual basis makes me go threw a medical for my citizens drivers licence because once upon a time i was treated with meds, once upon a time i was misdiagnosed but they wont let that misdiagnoses be, they ignore the doctors continual refuting of being what i was originally diagnosed with.
"i can lead a productive life" is that implying I'm not suppose too? or I am not worthy of one? make me lesser?
I tell you something its the other way round, we see people, we see communities, we see the world from a point of view many don't but all should and we do because of our illness and the label around it, and productively we in a high percentage know what give and take is, what being human is, what powerful of a weapon ignorance is, we see the most beautiful things in people no one would give the time of day too, we feel others pain, we learn from it, not run and hide.
thus we are productively learning about humanity, which is what life is suppose to be about.
Its more like " i can lead an unproductive life " by excepting dualistic principles that label me, excepting discrimination, excepting because i have an illness i am not human as the next person, not as intelligent, not as trustworthy. Once I do that I turn to drugs ,to grog to hide the pain, the swirling emotions, the confusion and one i make my illness worse and two i feed the ignorance. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:47:51 AM | I'm not quoting any posts, this is a kind of general reply all....
Is Bi-Polar the "new" disease...actually it's been replaced with Borderline Personality Disorder, and especially Narcissism, already....
Do people who have been diagnosed Bi-Polar just need to be kicked in the pants and told to smarten up? Well it depends on how the Bi-Polar is caused...the longer it goes untreated, the worse it will get. An adult I know was in an acute manic state....had come up with a new "slogan" for "Nike"....decided "just do it" was passe. He was telephoning for flights to New York, to discuss this with "Nike".....I took the phone and put it down. It took me a full half hour to convince this person that he was in a manic state....and he was FULLY aware of his disease. He TRULY believed that he was doing the right thing. Personally, I think a kick in the pants would give him a sore butt, and he needed to see a Doctor....quickly
Compassion, understanding, nurture, all contribute to a better outcome than stigma, ignorance, judgment....would hagars be in the condition he's in if he were treated better? Personally, I don't think he would.
Doctors that diagnose Bi-Polar, when someone is withdrawing from cigarettes, and Meth (for God sake) shouldn't have a license to practice..withdrawal psychosis..it's quite common.
And finally....when you are in a relationship with someone who is Bi-Polar, it is not your responsibility to figure out if their behaviour is disease related, or normal biatchiness....if it can be called normal biatchiness, then it is.....When they want to fly to New York, to talk to Nike, you should intervene. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:54:35 AM |
for that last 3 years my dads fiance has treated me like crap ,one summer when i was 17 i stayed at their house for like a month, they got into some kind of argument his fiance ended up walking away from him unhooked the telephone and threw it in my face and told me to get the F out , she has never apoligized to me for this till this day
after that she has yelled at me for all sorts of things and i honestly mean it when i say that i was innocent all those times she got into my face or ****ed me out on the phone
one time she told me she was going to change the number and the only way i'll have the number is if my dad gives it to me
she has managed to isolate my dad from the entire family including me , shes gotten to the point of being controlling , she has told him his money is her money
just today she almost got her ass kicked by my aunt for getting into her face saying my dad never signed a contract to pay money that he owes to her,( my dad WILLINGLY paid my aunt back for paying his part for him for something that happend long before she even came into the picture
now i found out she has been diagnosed with bipolarism, i dont really know too much bout that disorder but i know from experience of dating someone that was bipolar that the medication does not make change them it reduces their mood swings and their outbursts but they are still the same person
another thing i suspect shes schizophrenia , she told my dad i was not welcome to stay at their house to visit becuz i cant be trusted and i dont RESPECT her
, ironically even though all those times she got into my face i never copped an attitude i always found myself explaining to her and talk some damn sense to her
i never cussed at her i never called her names when i was 17 i actually burst into tears, i have never disrespected her let alone defend myself the way i should have instead of being a wimp
so my question is this , what do u know bout bipolarism from EXPERIENCE?
this is the second time my dad has isolated himself from me because of a woman has something like this ever happend to you?
i really dont know what to do i have told my dad i dont htink he should marry her, i told him when it comes to respect the road goes both ways,
i honestly do not know what to do. i think the only thing i can do is step back
its his decision to let a woman come between him and his only daughter and ruin his life
This is what the OP said, she's a young woman who's father is in a relationship with a bi-polar woman. She has been attacked by this woman and pushed out of her dad's life. All the Blah, Blah, Blah about helping the bi-polar person isn't helping her at all. She seems to need help on how to deal with her father and by default her fathers girlfriend. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:27:53 AM | I already said this....the father has dependency issues. She can talk to him, and try to convince him to get counselling (with the girlfriend there, he won't go on his own). If he is a strong individual, he will take her advice, and start standing up to, or get rid of the girlfriend. Once a dynamic has been set for a relationship, it's really hard to change it, unless the person changing the dynamic has a really strong constitution.
I've had a lot of training with this kind of behaviour, and what I'm about to say might freak some of you out. It's extreme, but so is the behaviour.
You can stay away from your father and his girlfriend.
Or, this takes lots of guts...if she confronts you, put your hands on your hips, stand right in front of her, wait until she stops yelling...then say, "are you done" and walk away. This will confuse her, because she's used to you explaining yourself. She might follow you, ranting at you..that means you got to her...you aren't playing the game right. Things might escalate for a while. But if you keep on facing the confrontation, and then walk away, she's gonna get the idea that it isn't working anymore, sooner or later. If she follows you, keep walking until she gets tired of it, get in your car and go to the store, just get away.
Here's the hard part....if she raises a hand to you, you should speak to your father, and have him speak to her immediately. If that doesn't happen, tell her if it happens again, that you will phone the police, and STICK TO IT. Where I live, they will haul your butt to jail, and charge you with assault.
She will not be a happy camper if this eventuality happens...if things remain as they were before, you are going to be in for a LONG HAUL with this plan. It takes a very strong mind, and a lot of courage. It does work, I've done it.
So there it is....a plan.....see why nobody addressed it before? | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:37:14 AM | What I wouldnt do...and this is particular to what you've said there (although you stated it wasnt diagnosed)...is be involved with someone as destructive as a bipolar sufferer for 7 or 8 yrs and it not be under reasonable control particularly if children were involved and in the household.
That draws my line every single time.
This really is my position with anybody who suffers from some type of mind altering disease whether it be bipolar, schizophrenia or even behavior associated through chemical dependency of some type or emotionally or physically abusive people.
One person's battle with a birth related illness (or anything else) like this is not worth the mental health development of children in a household and creating long term psychological damage to a tangent of multiple innocent people.
I can support them in the meantime from a distance ie. not abandon them...but I wouldnt allow direct uncontrolled impact on everybody else.
Its a hard call to make for some people...it wouldnt be for me. Id do what I have to do and if they chose to do absolutely nothing about it and I had to cut them lose for the sake of everybody else...Id do that too.
I know what you are saying and it makes sense but I feel in a way that I have stuck around this long so I can't give up now. The person I have been talking about is my mother. Throughut most of my teenage years I grew up without having a real "mother" as my mom wasn't in any shape to be there for me like she had always been. She started doing a lot of very destructive things that eventually tore apart our whole family and financially screwed over any person that would give her any money. It is extremely sad to think of everything that has happened because of her illness and how much my family in particular has lost over the past 8 years, and it hurts to know that it's been this long and I have never been able to stop it somehow....I really never imagined it would take this much time and get so bad ...I feel like i've always been the one who carried the heaviest burden...everyone else started dropping like flys. What I worry about the most is that she might kill herself if I left her too - i've always been the closest to her and I wouldn't know what to do if I had to "cut her out of my life".
The other thing that scares me to death is that I may develop bipolar, it runs in the family unfortunatly, and it scares me to death to think about it. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:05:38 PM | | I am truly saddened by many of the responses and frightened for my daughters future, if the comments here are any indication of what she is going to have to face in her lifetime. From experience, I can tell you that medication, therapy and love and support does help people suffering from this disorder. An individual who does not take responsibility for their treatment, is quite different from someone who is responsible and works hard to keep their bipolar manageable. My daughter's bipolar is inherited from my ex-husband (her father), whose bipolar was not diagnosed or managed until after our divorce. At her age, she is learning to recognise the triggers, knows the importance of taking her medication, maintaining a healthy diet, getting the proper amount of sleep, and finally, the importace of therapy. As a family, we are dealing with it by understanding the disorder, and ensuring that we have a support system in place to help us in our effort of helping our loved one. Unfortunately, with the media, people are inundated with negative messages regading bipolar, and placing all people suffering from it into one basket...a negative one. I can assure you, my daughter is intelligent, articulate,talented and a productive member of her school and family. She is moody and cycles often with her bipolar...but it is part of who she is, and she is a part of who we are as a family. I am very blessed to have her in my life and I would not trade her for anything...bipolar or not. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:27:37 PM | You have to take this on an individual basis. Like TheVoiceWithin said, their is a big difference between someone in therapy working hard to better themselves and know they have it, then someone who is out of control and not helping themselves.
It's wrong to jump dump someone. This person is this way because someone most likely abused her and she's basically been built to be the way she is. In this case, I think you and your father need to get out of there.
I know these disorders so well that I almost want to run far and far away after hearing terms like, Bipolor, Borderline Personality, Schizophrenia. I've tried to help a lot of people and it gets very exhausting talking to a wall. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:08:05 PM |
Unfortunately, with the media, people are inundated with negative messages regading bipolar, and placing all people suffering from it into one basket...a negative one. I can assure you, my daughter is intelligent, articulate,talented and a productive member of her school and family. She is moody and cycles often with her bipolar...but it is part of who she is, and she is a part of who we are as a family. I am very blessed to have her in my life and I would not trade her for anything...bipolar or not.
That is so very true - I never knew exactly HOW MUCH negativity was out there surrounding bipolar until I came across this thread, it's unfortunate.
I'm sure your daughter is a wonderful person and i'm very happy that she has people around her who love and support her and stick by her. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 74 | |
| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:20:37 PM | imnotyourstar...
The other thing that scares me to death is that I may develop bipolar, it runs in the family unfortunatly, and it scares me to death to think about it
Im not offering you any unrealistic assurance here...you really have little chance of being a sufferer of the disease at your age group.
The reason I say that is because it most often presents itself in the teenage years and early 20s. Although you're within that age group now...you also need to consider the stress you've become accustomed to with everything thats happened re. your circumstances...and know that if you were a sufferer...you'd definately have reasons to manifest the disorder already.
You havent so you should be confident you're not a sufferer ok?
Pertaining to my last post...and then what you've stated in yours....
The person I have been talking about is my mother. Throughut most of my teenage years I grew up without having a real "mother" as my mom wasn't in any shape to be there for me like she had always been. She started doing a lot of very destructive things that eventually tore apart our whole family and financially screwed over any person that would give her any money. It is extremely sad to think of everything that has happened because of her illness and how much my family in particular has lost over the past 8 years, and it hurts to know that it's been this long and I have never been able to stop it somehow....I really never imagined it would take this much time and get so bad ...I feel like i've always been the one who carried the heaviest burden...everyone else started dropping like flys
What you've just described here...is the precise reason people need to draw absolute boundaries on this and why I take the position that I do.
I absolutely refuse to allow children to go through these scenarios.
Your heart and life shouldnt have been burdened in this way.
You're doubting yourself and what is right and wrong and carrying far too great a load so try to keep it in perspective and dont lay too much guilt at your own feet...its not fair on yourself.
i've always been the closest to her and I wouldn't know what to do if I had to "cut her out of my life".
Do a little googling and educate yourself more on the condition. If your mother is already under the care of a mental health professional...call them up, maybe make an appointment and let them help guide you in your interactions with your mother...also support groups for families of sufferers of bipolar....may be a consideration for you...BUT...my opinion on those is often they become nothing more than an exercise in wallowing in grief rather than sharing effective coping strategies and information. They become a stagnant tool if people choose to stay connected to those groups, rather than take what they need from them and move on.
Trying to compartmentalize your feelings from facts and drawing and implementing boundaries is a difficult thing to do...but keep in mind...its far easier for you to do that... than live in perpetual emotional upheaval or be a sufferer of the illness itself.
What I worry about the most is that she might kill herself if I left her too
If your mother has everything at her disposal (medication, doctor, knowledge etc)... then even if you were with her 24/7...and she chose to do that...there is little you could do to stop her. So dont carry that burden either.
You dont have to "let her down" for it to happen...it could happen at any time without any provocation because of the disease itself.
Its at great pains we watch those around us suffer but unlike terminal diseases where we know our loved ones come to peace at the end within a finite time...this is a lifetime experience and it needs to be managed otherwise it gets out of control and the effects to everyone else are devastating.
Draw your boundaries and dont be afraid to do it because part of being a healthy adult...is sometimes knowing we need to come to terms with stepping back and that we've done all we can do for the bigger picture...even if that decision pains us deeply. | |
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| she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:54:24 PM | She might be bipolar, but she's probably also has a personality disorder, also. If she has no remore for the way she is mistreating people who care about her and alienating your dad from his family, she's going to be a difficult person to live with, no matter how much medication she takes.
I hope your dad doesn't marry her. She sounds like a user. She has one h... of a lot of nerve saying that his money is HER money. If I were you, it would alarm me that she could absorb assets of your dad's that he may want to share with HIS children and grandchildren. I continue to be amazed at the feeling of entitlement that second wives have for a man's money when he has children.
Good Luck !! | |
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