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| SINGLE AFTER 20YEARS AND IM DEVASTATED
Posted: 12/17/2006 12:22:15 AM | Dear single dad,
I hope my words can lend some help to all of you.first let me tell a little about my story.i was with my wife for about 15 yrs.we had a 15 & 2 year old son together.I'm very close to both of my children.One day she told me she needed some time to think about our relationship
but i already had suspicsion she was cheating.As if that wasn't hard enough to deal with she turned my oldest against me.then a month latter after running a DNA test on my 2 yr old. I
found out he wasn't my biological son.I didn't get to see either son for 4 months.But i didn't force anything with them. I knew what kind of FATHER i had been so i waited until they contacted me.Children are really smart and wont stay away for long.At first i wasn't sure what to do.Espcially with the youngest.I blamed my self,wondered if i would look at my 2 yr old different.And what i could have done different.But the truth is it's not you it's them.
Well it's been two years now and yes the pain does go away.The memory won't.But that stay's so that in the future you will see the signs sooner.Because usually the signs are there
we just don't want to face them.Now your kids will end up resenting her to some point.But i try to tell mine that mommy had to deal with her issues in her own way.Send them notes just to say hi.Kids love to get mail.And from your pain they will more than likely not do that to someone there with in the future.Now you say there teens.Teens are starting to grow away from spending So much time with mom & dad and spending more time with there friends anyway.One day your ex will regret her choices.But she my never admit it to you.The person she left you for.Doesn't really care for her there in it for themselves.They couldn't get somebody on there own so they took advantage of someone having problems.
Now for some advice on how to get over it.First it takes a couple of years to fully heal.so don't jump into a relationship until then.Because if you do you won't finish the healing process
and that will effect the relationship with the new person. And thats not fair to them.
Second go try some of the things you have always wanted to do but put off because of her.
Third find a good friend to talk to.This will let you blow off some steam.
Conculsion-Today i have my oldest every weekend.The youngest as much as 5 days a week.
and now if she calls to **** i hang up because i don't have to listen anymore.Because she's
now on her third relationship sense me.And she's his problem now.Hope this helped
A FRIEND | |
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| SINGLE AFTER 20YEARS AND IM DEVASTATED
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:59:46 AM | I dont know when the hurt stops but I do know it is not only the loss of someone u love but cheating is so cruel it leaves the person who had been cheated on feeling insucure and not worth much I truly believe when someone cheats b-4 ending the relationship the cheater is the worthless one and in order to feel good about moving on the cheat feels better about themselves becuz after devastating thier partner and seeing the pain they have distributed they feel power and control the longer the victom of a cheating or abusive partner remains in pain they remain in control of the partner that cheated I know its easier said than done but the bottom line is you have to let go of the hurt and be happy that is the best revenge and once u allow urself to be happy u r freed from the control of a very cruel partner A.K.A the ex.I remained in an relationship filled with cheating and abuse I pretended everthing would b ok if I just gave him another chance each time he cheated and kicked me to the curb I waited in tears and was there every time he showed up I was a joke to him and his family until I said ENOUGH I am single and yes lonley but its betterthan having someone use me and drop me at thier convenience I am in control now and I like that alot better Take Care Love Yourself its the only love that matters | |
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| SINGLE AFTER 20YEARS AND IM DEVASTATED
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:23:43 PM | well ,i was married for 19 1/2 years ,when i got up early one morning to fing my tenents door open and when i went up to see what was up i walked in on him and my wife boneing eachother on his futon,after he regained conshisness [sorry for spelling] and the 6 police left ,this is when things in my life really went to shit ,we have 3 kids and we were in counciling ,[she later said she was going with me just for the sake of going ,but was not going becouse she thopught it would help . before i caught them i had asked the theripest about her spending so much time with her friend [as she said ] and later as she said ,he was like her son .well you dont f--k your son where im from .so i was put on meds for stress and they prescribed tomuch and after 4 atempts on my live i took a overdose of whisky and a whole bottle of atavan,the colors the pretty colors .lol[not really funny ].so it is a year later i have costody of my daughter [14] and my boy a senior in high school she calls me to tell me she threw him out .and she has me 8 year old boy [john howard wendell],im getting married have a baby on the way ,a whole other life now ,and it still hurts .like this weekend i went to visit and had adriana and john howard in the hotel room and my 8 year old [very smart but has autism ]asked how did this happen between his mom and i .how dod you tell him your mom from being a sunday school teacher to being a slut that cheats on her husband .when 3 months before this all started we were a happy family trying to deal with 5 deaths in the family ,this is why she said she saught some one ealse becouse it had changed me ,.
so after a year of counciling and a start of a new life, some times the old life will bleed in to the new interrupting the new one with the feeling of pain and sorro .i still dont know how to answer him ,so i told him i would try to think about it and tell him later my thoughts. =i miss my old life ,prior to her hooking up with kenny and i love my new life with sonia , some times you have to carry the burden ,shrug off the pain and walk away to really let the healing beginand as my theripest said you really dont get over some one till you meet someone new ,i did not belive oit eather when she first told me but she was right  gary | |
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