| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:49:44 AM | YOUR FIRST MISTAKE? NEVER, EVER SPEND THAT MUCH TIME (30 days in a row????) WITH A GUY! Maybe when you are married. Even then, I'd think twice. Hell no sister, what about your nails? What about your hair appointment. You're giving too much of yourself way too early in the relationship. Stop doing that.
MEN NEED A MENTAL CHALLENGE. Even the stupid ones. Mental challenge is defined as: They know very well they DO NOT have a 100% hold on you. You can take them or leave them. And the jury is always out. Undecided. You keep your options always open till you get that ring on your finger. Otherwise, you are in for more heartbreak. As soon as they feel they've got you, there's no more challenge and they move on.
That's how men think. But it's not really thinking. It's in their DNA. They are the hunters. They like games, they love sport. Give them that and they will be yours forever. But you have to live it and feel it. It has to be real. To do that, you need to have your own life apart and separate. Your own ideas, your own agenda. And happy in your own life you build by yourself, with no regard to whether a man is in or not.
For more insight, (you will laugh your butt off and see the light): "Why Men Love ****es"
Good luck, you can do it.
Earthgürl | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 5:56:06 AM | "men think???? lol"
Or, wo"men think???? lol"
Doesn't make much difference, especially on here or one of the many sites like it. It seems that people behave as they do in a clothing store or supermarket or car lot, which in a lot of ways these sites resemble.
A wo/man takes a look at a potential and says to themselves that this looks good. Then comes the trying on/prodding phase wherein the prospective partner is examined in a microscope for ANY sign of imperfection, always remembering that the examiner is perfect. If there are no immediately visible distortions the prospective partner is taken for a test drive/tried on. Again there are no serious imperfections, but. Is it the right colour? Is it the right size? Is it comfortable or does it have a bad ride/pinch somewhere? And, oh my! Right on the rack/lot beside it is another that looks like it might be better.
And let's not forget that s/he had one like that before and it had defective parts so THIS one must have the same defective parts. And so on, and so on, and so on. One definition of insanity that I like is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
Think?? Anyone who expects a lot of that is delusional. For proof:
"MEN NEED A MENTAL CHALLENGE. Even the stupid ones. Mental challenge is defined as: They know very well they DO NOT have a 100% hold on you. You can take them or leave them. And the jury is always out. Undecided." | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:11:11 AM | | I've not read all the posts yet in this particular thread, but the same question can (and has been) be posted for women as well. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:33:01 AM | Have you thought about why you keep repeating the same experience? Meet a guy, have a wonderful time together, and he leaves you for a 33 year old?
One thing is for sure and it applies to you. Never begin a new relationship until you are over the last one; otherwise, you bring a lot of garbage to the new one. Getting over it also means taking away some learning experience to avoid future mistakes.
Relationship begin because there is some physical and emotional attraction. Then if good feelings develope and deepen, it may lead to committment. Along the way both parties are evaluating each other to see if they want to go further. In your case, obviously you wanted to continue it while the guy didn't. Although you don't say, it appears that he just left without an explanation.
All I can say is this is the mark of a very immature and shallow individual. I have a sense from your description that these men were fun and entertaining but not much more. Also the fact that he didn't work is a red flag unless of course, he was retired. Perhaps you were no more than entertainment for them along the way. I know this sounds terrible, but I've known an awful lot of men in my life and few of them were worth a damn.
When you get involved again, you'll have to look a little deeper into the men you hook up with. Beneath all that charm and fun, are they men of substance, e.g., emotionally mature, financially secure, mentally stable, and so on. These things are easy to determine if you keep your ears open.
The Eagle | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:01:31 PM | Tyler,
Can I ask u what u meant by "for obvious reasons" ...........if its how they look that u are referring to because of their ages, they don't look good..........they are both overweight and nothing to look at? I still don't get it.................. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:06:13 PM | | ..........the younger models were not good buying materials..........didnt look good at all! Yes.........."could" understand if they were gorgeous - but not!!!! Not at all!!! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:16:02 PM | Hey justlooooking
How do YOU know how high MY sex drive is............I don't LOOK my age, I dont ACT my age, I am more ACTIVE 4wheeling, motorcycling, dancing to rock/roll than most women in their 30's anyway, I would tire that 47yr old out and be "turned down" because HE was tired.................so don't make assumptions based on age. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:24:19 PM |
Maybe you need to do some real soul searching and ask yourself why your giving your heart away so quickly? [/quote)
That was my thoughts exactly^^. These men can sense your desperation I'm afraid. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:35:27 PM | Heybodiddly,
Those "younger' models were nothing to look at, overweight, and not into a lot of the fun things they were used to doing.............they weren;t these drop dead curvacious figures - I would get it then, really I would, but they were nothing to write home about where one would understand getting dumped for. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 8/31/2008 7:19:57 PM | Ouch.. sorry to hear such things happend to you, not all men are like this I will inform you... unfortunetly some are purly just players, not looking to break hearts spesifically, more just maintaining the mentality "if I tell her what she want's to hear, I can get what I want, without getting emotionally attatched and involved"
The reasons why they'd do it, is to pat their own ego, for a variety of reasons, either insicurity, just wanting sex without developing strings, and many more. These guy's will never be who your husband was, and good men are out there, be strong you sound like a strong individual, and you'll find what your looking for...
We fall to get back up,
Only the weak fall and give up,
Jon | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:27:08 AM | Hi ActiveJon,
Wow..........have to admit when I read your message I thought by the content u were much older.......was a little taken back by how young u are but wise. Thank u for your nice post........u will make some lucky girl happy one day !!!!! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:40:30 AM | At this point you have two choices:
1. get rid rid of him.
2. if he's someone you are really attracted to and want to pursue, you have to project that.
You seem like for the most part you are a confident, interesting person that has your life together. Focus on that. If you look at you life and realize you are someone that is a catch and you're not going to put up with guy treating you like that because he's the one that's lucky enough you give him some of your time, you'll be amazed what will happen.
And when you wrote "why guys? I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me??".....
STOP THAT.
If you keep thinking that, it will show in how you interact with people. I've dated some women that switched into that frame of mind, and it is an instant turn off.
Basically, how I think of it is this. Make your life what you want first. Trust me, when you wake up every morning and realize you are somebody that people want to be around, and they have to earn your time and affection, YOU'RE going to be the one with 33 year olds coming after you :) | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:59:43 AM | "Believe me when I say this.... YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS!!!"
Hey, smileee, I am at least half French. Does that count? It will be fun for the "frog" and should be at least pleasant for you, too.
And they tell me Virginia is nice this time of year. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:42:14 PM | Hi Sarah,
Sometimes coming out of something, like your marriage which was perfect to you, and for many years with someone, we assume that its like that with everyone.
You long and need what you had in that relationship, ( your marriage ) so your guard is down.
I bet if you take a look at both of these last relationships, you will see the signs that they weren't fully committed to you, and I'm talking about everything, even the little things and being that you were in a long term committed relationship before, you tend to try harder, maybe even ignore those little things, you want it to work out your in it for the long haul...your committed and as far as what they did, it has nothing to do with your dress or the age of these men.
**Everyone has choices we don't make people do things, people do what they want.
And its a good thing they left now, you want someone who loves you and is committed to you, it may hurt, but this shall pass.
Don't give up...there are plenty of fish ...lol
Just be aware of your wants and needs..and when you get that Red Flag from a man or that ooohhh feeling that makes your stomach hurt...then move on..don't be desperate, don't settle for less then what you need or want in a relationship. And don't ignore the signs.
Be good to yourself girlfriend...
Big Hug...Jenn | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:59:57 PM | One day they are all over you and 2 days later not a word ???
Keep one thing in mind,not all men are like this and theres plentyoffish in the sea.We all have been through it.I have no desire to waste my time trying to figure out what makes them tick . | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/3/2008 7:57:04 AM | every guy...person is different...so the question could be more like, "does anyone understand how humans think?"
i mean, everytime i have talks with my guy friends and they say, "a girl is like this and that..." i always have to stop him and say, that's not true! because...i really am not like the "typical girl".
example: apparently, with girls, the longer they stay with their man, they more attached/clingy they get. i'm like the complete opposite! the longer i am with the guy, the more i'm starting to check out other people...LOL! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:48:53 AM | The younger woman will get tired of his BS-
There are many men who can't handle a strong older woman. And many younger women that are looking for their daddy to take care of them. Well these "young" women will grow up and realize this man is not good for them either!
Let them have him-You need a mature man (and I dont just mean his age)!
We just have to have the patience to keep looking-he's here......and he's waiting for you! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:37:26 PM | I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me??"
You 're crying too much. Dries up the pores and the skin can't breath properly. OK, OK, what can you expect from a geek?
Time to serious this up.
The only thing wrong with you is that you give too much too soon. I mean love and affection. You offer you and take it personally when the offering is rejected. Please, please don't ever change you, just change how and with whom you interact. From a quick perusal of your profile I can bet you are very intelligent and expect this is the norm. Think again. As a nurse you must know about the syndrome where some men, and women, try to "recapture their youth" and, by trying to do so by inappropriate means, deny reality and fail to enjoy the present.
Them. Not you. No more tears. Joy. Happiness. Think what life would have been shackled to these creatures. As I told one of my daughters years ago, find someone with your same level of intelligence and understanding and everything else will follow. She did and it did. The other one, after rejecting numerous possibles, finally selected one whom she says is so much like me it is scary. You need a man, not a man wannabe.
I know you aren't my daughter but it worked for them. I hope it works for you. | |
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