| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:10:42 PM | I was widowed 3 years ago after 15 years of very happy marriage. The first guys I met when I started dating, I always wanted to be The One. It was so easy the first time (we both knew, the day we met), that I expected it to be similar the next time round.
15 or so guys later, I have to tell you, you need to learn to lower your relationship expectations for a while. Let them do the chasing. Go out and carry on enjoying life, and one day you'll bump into him by accident. In the meantime, enjoy being pursued by men  | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:23:45 PM | Never think what is wrong with me. Alway just use what me and my friends have come up with.........NEXT.... you just go to the next man until the right one comes along. Honey, people never know what they want out of life until they know what they want for themselves. If is your life, I am sorry you lost the love of you live at such a young age. But, before you just jump back into a relationship do what you want to do. find yourself and live. Enjoy the day that the Lord has made and rejoice. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:26:14 PM | They think with one side of their brain, on one thing at a time, and when they decide to do something, it should be their idea first! So a clever woman makes suggestions, but never makes demands, and gives a guy a choice when she's got something on her mind. It's really not that difficult to figure out ladies, it's just a matter of being one step ahead and letting them catch up to you, on their time, of course! 
Pink | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:30:51 PM | im sure you are hurting inside and that's all bad n stuff but look at people like me... im 21..im young.... and i never had any of what you had ever... i never had a girl once said she loved me..... afterawhile it makes you think if life's worth living when ur constantly used up and drained all for what.... nothing.... this generation sucks.... seriously... I lost patience and now it's all over.   | |
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.MARK.
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Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 80 | |
| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:37:13 PM | The reason you are trying to figure out how men think is because you may be trying to put all men in the same catagory. They are as diverse as women, and we all know how hard it is to figure out women. To main things to remember for MOST men, not all...
1) They need to feel needed, or they will walk.
2) They need to feel apprieciated or they will walk.
Perhaps more than looks of that 33 year old, it was the way she made him feel wanted that lured him to her. Just something to think about | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:58:03 AM | Sarah, it's not just as simple as 'how men think'. It's more, 'how the men you date think'. Most people are attracted to a 'type', and will continue to date the same type of person over and over, whether they realize it or not. Sounds like this is happening to you. Try to examine what it is about these men that attracts you, and if they have anything else in common (other than leaving you for someone else).
That said, we can't always know what it is about us that sends someone running in the other direction. It's especially difficult when asking other people to guess why it happened. It 'could' be a lot of things, but more likely, it's something they discovered about you as they got to know you better that made them change their mind about what kind of relationship they wanted to have with you. OR, you're just falling for guys who want a quick fling, and don't want to get any more serious than that; maybe somewhere along the line the word 'marriage' was mentioned (or even just implied) and that's all it takes to get them to bolt. Most guys now a days see marriage as something you only do if you want to start a family, but most women still believe it's the only correct end result for a relationship.
I did laugh a bit when I read the suggestions from those who suggested that you should dress, or maybe act more 'appropriate for your age'. Do what you want, dress however you like. We all have the right to display ourselves in whatever way we see suitable for who and what we are trying to attract. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:58:20 AM | Ok, there is a real issue out there that women have. Women are programmed to love and to receive love. Men are programmed to respect and to receive respect. These women might be showing more respect to the men that were in your life than you did.
Respect is hard for most women to learn how to do. IT takes work, and we must show respect even if someone doesn't deserve it. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:00:54 AM | | Forgot to add. THere's a great book out there called "Love and Respect" this book is changing lives. Read it. I am and I am single. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:10:53 AM | I will share a "Mens Union" secret with you....
No matter what a man says .... or does
If it comes too easy for him.....
He doesn't respect it or appreciate it .
Next time... slap yourself every time you think about moving the guy in....
Make him work for the relationship.....
for the first kiss..
Give nothing away and a man respects what he has to work hard for....
It was certainly not your fault.... and there is another guy out there closeby and the butterflies will be there too....
But remember what I said ..... and I will deny saying it ( I could be thrown out of the union lol )
p.s. this message will self destruct in 5 seconds ......... | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:16:25 AM | Well I go through the same things. I do not dress real young just I look younger than I am. It is not that I am left for someone younger just they disappear. The last was a distance thing meaning we talked on line everyday, planned to meet, were into the same things and then during the month of August the man who said he was emotionally mature said: his computer broke, he had the flu, his son never paid the internet and msn is not working on his computer. The first two I will give him the rest, I doubt. I asked him at one point if he met someone else and didn't wish to speak with me anymore. Well he denied the first and gave me the internet story for the second. A person who is emotionally mature will speak the truth. During the month of August up to this time we have talked in Msn or email 5 times.
There is tons more to this story but I am walking away, I don't like dishonesty and at 17000km it is easy to end up the loser. I don't understand men and men younger than my son want me to date them and I will not date anyone younger than my son.
My theory is I have not found the man worthy of me yet, maybe he is out there and maybe not but I am happy living alone. So all I can tell you is be happy living with yourself. Because obvious those men were not worthy of you either. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:23:07 AM | | OP:We are only hearing one side of the story here but it sounds like he found a better offer,I know it sucks but women do it too. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:51:02 AM | I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me??
I don't think there's anything actually "wrong" with you. I guess it could be that you are (possibly subconsciously) being attracted to the wrong sort of man. But you are talking about two guys - it could just be bad luck.
All men and women need to read "men are from mars, women are from venus"...you will be enlightened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is awesome book
And while your at it, pick up a copy of Snow White. You should be able to find both of them in the fiction section. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:24:13 PM | Ma'am, my condolences on the loss of your husband.
I see two problems:
#1: You need to slow down. You lost a "Good" man. He, I'm sorry to say, isn't going to show up again. At least not in this life. Do Not just give your heart. Make them earn your love. It's the most precious thing you have.
#2: Men think with both heads. Just not at the same time. Some men are users, as are some women. Stay away from them. Take your time and teach a man how to think with his heart. You know how to do that - You taught your husband.
In the long run you'll be okay. In the mean time, heal the wounds and let the "powers that be" lead you both toward each other. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:51:49 PM | | Stellar..............thanks for the post..........I'm hoping this post will close up soon, I never mentioned or implied marriage, I don't want to get married again in this lifetime, one husband is all I will claim and not try to re do it again. Thank u for sharing thoughts and theories on it though. Another posts respect was an issue, absolutely not, I am a true lady, a nurse, very caring person by nature, never out to hurt nor disrespect anyone ever. I am coming to terms now that both were very immature individuals, and narcississtic............better off without them at this point in my life.....think I'd rather be alone! | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:00:37 AM | Just my two cents, and I will return to the shadow corner.
There are two methods to understanding the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, neither of these methods works. Every relationship is unique and special in its own way, irrespective of the ultimate success of that relationship.
in my experience, I have learned that you shouldnt be in a hurry to give my heart away too fast (as I am wont to do)... Sometimes they go away and dont give it back.
Go out, be yourself. If you want to be in jeans and T-Shirts.. do it. If you like dresses, and fancies.. do that too. Others have to learn to accept you, as you, and not as they wish you might be.
You can only control what you do, and you can only be responsible for your own actions. Let the other party take responsibility for themselves.
last...
There is no ultimate truth regarding relationships.
Every relationship has two stories. And unfortunately, both are often true. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 10/13/2008 10:11:40 PM | Nope, not a clue...I have been trying to figure out since I was a teen, through my marriage and ever since I entered the dating field again. I'm still pretty much at a loss but still  ! IMO: guys are just as much at a loss about how women think too though... Do you think that levels the playing field a little?
["why would someone do this to a woman that is nice, self sufficient, not looking for sugar daddy......why guys? I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me?? "]
Nothing is wrong with you! This is the same question that my friends and I pose to each other. Do you suppose that it will be the same question that our daughters pose to their friends when they reach our age?
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 10/14/2008 9:55:36 AM | | As far as I can tell from your profile there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe there is something about you that comes out on meeting. More than likey the thing that is wrong is with the guys you date. They may be unable to commit, or be habitual cheaters and so do it by nature, or they may just think the grass is always greener elsewhere no matter how good they have it where they are. Often, guys who are into motorcycles are the 'free wheeling' types who don't like to be tied down. He will probably leave the 33 yr old soon enough, too. Some guys are just jerks...but you did pick them. Why do you pick jerks? What about them attracted you to them? Guys who are into driving...motorcycles, sports cars, watching car races, etc-often are the type to move on easily. Those who are into speedy things are often into speedy relationships..which are soon over. Look for a guy with more sedentary ways...who likes to watch TV, go to movies, sit in front of a fire to cuddle, etc. Such will often be slower to change and less apt to move on so soon. | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:03:13 PM | Sara
I am a Man and could not care less what other men think.
have allways been a individual. Wish I would have known the whole story.
And would love to become your friend.yes you are an extreemly attractive women
and if you were not I would not be here writing this.That is my shortcomming,
Shallow,But is it a sin to want to know a beautiful women as you? | |
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| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 10/23/2008 6:12:55 PM | | Well u rn't mentioning the ages of these guys. And seriously u r dressing like u r in your twenties and the way u dress will attract a guy for the wrg reason. U sound like a fun person who is full of love and gives.... U r a easy target to hurt because they know they can. Men need a women who is a bit tough and keeps them in there places. I don't know why u had 2 in a row, but I would suggest taking a break. Sometimes are lives just don't pick off where they left, sometimes we just need to just have friends and nothing more till the right one comes along. I'm guessing u r a party women, and if the case u are drawing in party men, looking for the next party to attend. I wish I could tell u where to find a great guy but I think the are married already. | |
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dlf246
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Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 100 | |
| does anyone understand how men think?
Posted: 11/7/2008 6:21:12 AM | | Sarah, I am really sorry that you have been treated like this. You didn't mention where you met these guys. Might be a little insight. Take some time for you and don't look. There are nice guys out there, really. Just take your time and go with your gut feelings. They are usually right. dlf | |
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