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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?      Home login  
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 kerry970
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 76
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
For me faling in love is magical
It's that smile that you have when you've met someone that just lifts yor spirits, makes you feel special when you already know this, but it's different. You feel it in your soul.
You want to listen to love songs again and they have new promise and new meaning.

Had that one special connection in my 20's and again in my 40's .

It's about hope, adventure and comfort. And you don't know which one to think of next.

Knowing that when you have "bed head and an attitude" that someone will still love you. That kind of comfort and hope. And the adventure is yet to come.

It makes your body and mind ping......... ping all over. You can't even eat at 40+
for while. Same thing as 16.

It's about holding hands, hearts, and dreams........ and keeping them.
Jan
 ria-lee. .
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 77
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/16/2008 8:11:49 AM
The feeling of falling in love remains constant. For me I pace, back and forth as if it's an insult to my independance. lol Thinking to myself, now what, I feel something here. Then as I think of ways to fit a new person into my life it gets easier.
When we are younger and falling in love, we are comming from a place where we have not formed our personal prefferences. It's exciting to explore this with another.
I think falling in love is different when at mid life for we are more established and rooted. So at this point I'm learning more of a sence of allowing and respecting where a person is at now in their life. Everyone has more ties as life progresses regardless of what they tell you. For the walk of time creates history and webs of attachment. I think as well we have different issues now than when younger. Hopefully we learn to be better lovers. C
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 78
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:13:18 AM
I think falling in love at age 45+ can be just as exciting as when you are younger ... only we have our life experience to fall back on when it comes to what the next step will bring.

There's a whole lot that goes on between falling in love ... and actually being in love.
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 79
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/17/2008 7:43:13 AM

being in love.
I am thinking, having more appreciation for it as we now know how hard it is to come by, would actually make it a better, deeper, richer experience than when we were younger.
 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 80
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:34:34 PM
Falling in love - yeah, I think it's a tad different now than when I was 20 or 30.

Doesn't mean I don't experience that heady rush of a new relationship - just means I look before I leap now! Last leap I took ended up in a nasty heap when I turned 47...

If I ever am graced to experience it again, it won't be based on the rush of lust...

 Unleaded4you
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 81
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:58:09 PM
Falling in love is one thing when your young and think you have the world by the tail and thinking this has to be a fairy tale. Sometimes being young and in love is the greatest, but falling in love and sharing your life at an older age is magical too in that you can now get out and do a lot more with no burdens or responsibilities to hold you back especially with modern technology you could be vacationing in Tahiti and still check and see if every thing is fine at home. I think falling in love at an older age is sweeter because you both have matured and appreciate the little things in life where at younger age you just took them for granted.
 dofiagle
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 82
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:10:51 PM

being in love.

I am thinking, having more appreciation for it as we now know how hard it is to come by, would actually make it a better, deeper, richer experience than when we were younger.


If we've managed to stumble onto how to nourish a love, a romance, another one now can be much better. Widows and widowers have the advantage with this as our relationships ended while still deeply in love. And we remember how we got there.
 1xSoCal
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 83
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:51:52 PM
For me, it was very exciting... especially after having been married for so long (25 years). Of course, my big mistake came when I thought I could honestly have a serious relationship with someone 10 years younger than myself. Looking back now I have to say that it felt incredible to have that "old" feeling again but there was also that something missing that only comes from being with one person for a long time. It's like they say, you better have more than looks going because looks will go away someday. You really have to care about the person on the inside. Another thing I learned from the younger women... if she isn't a gold digger and she's after an older guy, chances are pretty good that she has some "other" issues/baggage. So let the buyer beware!
 engel mutter
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 84
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:09:02 PM
It's exciting and feels wonderful -

Not felt that way for along, long time
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 85
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:59:02 AM
Here it is,, I though I had issues but I couldn't put my finger on it,, I know what falling in love feels like,, but after my wife passed away 7 yrs ago,, I often wondered,, will those type of feeling ever come back again,, I want it,, but I haven't met at woman yet to bring all that excitement and those butterflies,, to feel the passion in the kiss,,to look as her in a way that your just in AWE of it all...

After reading several posts,, it's nice to know it can happen,, even though I never gave up hope,, I just came to realize about 4 yrs ago,, be happy with my son,, and if love finds me,, or me it,, then love will be a added bonus in my life,,
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 86
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 5:17:53 AM
Of course its different. You are older, she is older. However, its just as good or better, or can be.
 ClassicGold
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 87
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:54:47 PM
Fell in love when I was 46. Over a year of butterflies in my tummy, knees that shook whenever he came near me. Everyone told me they always knew when he was on the phone because I would have a big grin on my face. Couldn't believe that those things happened to me at 46 but they did.

I think the main difference was that at 46 I was old enough to carry on with my life when he wasn't around and miss him quietly, whereas I seem to remember being in an endless daydream when I was younger and life would dry up a bit if 'He' wasn't around... other than that it was every bit as good
 lustre
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 88
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:13:15 PM
Hi OP,having fallen in love a few months ago, i would have to say the feelings are exactly the same as falling in love when much younger.The only difference is being more mature and slightly more experienced i realize that it is much more important to give your heart and soul unconditionaly and cherish every second of the time you spend with that person.This time around i think its much more important to realize how much of a gift it is to find someone very special and show how much you love that person.Hopefully you will find out for yourself very soon,best wishes.
Lustre
 Libby333
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 89
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:52:57 PM
I hope so. I am a firm believer in "different" being better.
 ***piano4te***
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 90
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:04:46 PM
Falling in love is not the hard part.

It's the ensuing 'logistics' that prove to be the biatch.

When falling in love at a younger age, both people are 'planning' a life together: house, kids, dreams, retirement...etc. These are all goals that younger people work toward together....

When falling in love after forty five, both people are trying to actually PROTECT anything that hasn't already been lost from the first twenty years of all that futile mutual planning..... If somebody's got kids....it's 'work around THEM.' If both people have houses, it's 'who gives up which one'.......... There are no goals or dreams to build together anymore because each person is now on the defensive to make sure they don't loose their ass a second time.

Real Life can sure fcuk up a perfectly good 'feeling'.............
 OCbutterfly
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 91
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:54:32 PM
no, not different at all...I fell in love at 10 for the first time...got my first kiss ever from him at my 13th birthday party...such a cavalier gentleman he was...my ideal of a guy... Just recently I gave up trying to explain why i put up with a guy,who is phobic about long term relationships, but, what can I say, except that I fell in love with him, and even at his most cruel and hurtful, I remain hung up on him, even tho I see that it is destructive to me...have met so many nicer guys, but didn't fall in love..
 OCbutterfly
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 92
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:01:03 PM
God, how really well you expressed that...I actually learn things from the foru m....
 wdb2064
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 93
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:25:38 AM
I don't find it as being any different as far as feelings are concerned. The excitement, anticipation, and the "butterflies" are still all there. However, I believe the answer lies in how you "define" love.
 oceanfront220
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 94
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:55:21 AM
The one glaring point that sticks out from reading the responses to your question is that we are much more cautious than we were when we were younger..most say they haven't been in love in yrs. In between 20-40 I was in love, or thought I was, more than I'll ever be again from 45 on...Experience has made me very cautious, almost too cautious and its because (we all said it, heard this a million times) I'm afraid of getting hurt again..I also do not disect every thought, word and deed of my partner as fervrently as I did when I was 25. The last time I was in love I was probably 38, in love with a younger man by 5 yrs who was not established in his mind and I was. He was very macho about the whole thing. I decided after that relationship,that it would be a very long time before I got that involved again..I think if and when it does happen again, I am so very relaxed now and comfortable in my own skin that I could probably enjoy a relationship on a much different level than I did 20 yrs ago. I just realized how long its been since I've been in love, too long--but I believe if something is meant to be it will happen...Since I'm 60, it better happen fast............Good luck
 veryordinary
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 95
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:06:10 AM
In my teens and twenties I did not fall in "love", I fell in "lust" and mistook it for "love". In my thirties and forties I was married and raising a family, so was not falling into anything. In my fifties I realize that being best friends and having similar likes and dislikes is the most important thing. So falling in love now is much slower and much deeper.
 oceanfront220
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 96
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:05:07 AM
Great response!!
 samuraicindy
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 97
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:27:45 PM
I don't remember...........
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 98
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Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:35:24 PM
No.
But making it work is!
 BrenJL
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 99
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:54:41 PM
Falling in love is more difficult..for me anyway, theres the mistrust over the years and where do u meet except on this thing. I find the majority of men who contact me are under 40. I surely dont have "easy prey" written on my forehead, because Im probably the hardest person to meet on here..hahahaha.

I ws told once that you can only love again if u let go of fear.......easily said and yet in the back of your mind u know u cant wait around too long..whats the answer? I dont know!
I have been "fond" of some people but never felt the "love tingles" so let me know...do we settle? Or do we keep looking and being not willing to take the plunge because most feel its not going to last and just a waste of time..u tell me.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 100
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 2/7/2009 6:08:24 PM
I fell harder at this age and the breakup was easier at that age. At least at 17, there was another cute guy in 6th period. At this stage of the game, the next cute guy is usually 6 states away!
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