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 Perfect Catch 1
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 76
His girlfriend sent me a messagePage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Did you ever maybe think that you were talking to this women all along and maybe she is just crazy and playing mind games. I would not go ahead with the meet its just too wierd. IMO
 Tiger_san
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 77
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 2:10:31 AM
yup it is a bit strange ..it never hapened to me before ..

if i were you i would like to meet him .. u are not gonna loose anything ..just enjoy a cup of coffee in cafe ..
 Debi36
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 78
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:13:27 AM
I would talk to the man and tell him his girlfriend called and get his side of the story before making any decisions. She may really be a meddlesome ex girlfriend he feels sorry for and still lets around him and doesn't know how she really is. If he knew what she was doing, maybe he would get rid of her and move on to someone like you.
 Wolfyprincess
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 79
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:53:33 AM
Don't get involved in this situation. I dated a guy for 3 months and got a message from the other girlfriend on another site. I was devastated but he denied it and I chose to believe his lies, more fool me. Six months down the line he was doing it again. These guys don't change and are very good at playing the game (I suspect as they've had a lot of practice at it). If the girlfriend is happy to be with a liar and a cheat then that's her prerogative. There are genuine guys out there, give one of them a chance! Hope this helps xxx
 giventake42
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 80
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:15:01 AM
Soemetimes you are maried to or dating someone who is a game player or emotionally abusive, you somehow lose your self-esteem and self-confidence and for some stupid reason do not leave the relationship---which could be the case with the woman who called you. I seriously doubt that she is just some stalker trying to keep a guy from dating someone else. Whatever the case is, I'd say it's best just to let this one go. Why even start something when there are already so many red flags. Who needs it!? You can do better!!
 blueyedgirl93
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 81
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:24:59 AM
I had the same thing happen to me but the gf called ME. She was living with him still and he told me that she was moving out soon well he was still sleeping with her and all along lying to me about it. I didnt believe her at first and I even confronted him about it and he totally denied it. Eventually I ended up believing her because I had talked to her again and funny thing is the ex and I are friends and the man is looooong gone!
 Im Right Here...
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 82
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:12:15 AM
they are both disturbed... who needs shit like that? Drama drama drama

Run!
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 83
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His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:22:07 AM
But whio is the Villian here? The cheating boyfriend or the nontrusting friend or girlfriend who violates his privacy and reads his mail. it could be just a friend who likes hima nd sabotages him. Or it could relaly be his girlfriend. But its still an invasion of his privacy. he needs to change his password and not ahve it saved to automatically log into the computer,. Secondly if they are ina relationship tehy shoudl end it. he is not happy and is attempting to cheat. she puts up with it or interferes because of why? Why stay in an unhappy realtionship it makes no sense. And you dont; know the truth unless you talked to the guy to confirm the facts.
 suls14
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 84
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:11:58 AM
it sucks to have to stoop to invading that privacy, but if the red flags are there I think it is okay. a person has a right to not get shit on, cuz someone elses selfishness.
 ntsttln4less
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 85
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:37:40 AM
I will say that I have met some men whose ex's like to show up and carry on about all the horrible things he does and has done. I think the need for drama is obvious. She stays there, I think she is just trying to steer you away from him, although I will say if he has kept all this drama in his life for 17 years he must enjoy it. People thrive for drama. I dated a couple of different guys that I have known for many years, their pasts included much drama, they could not deal with me considering I like to laugh, have fun, and just simply enjoy the person I am with, there for they ended up going right back to the drama they came from. I will never understand it, but it is true. Some People Just Need DRAMA. Period.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 86
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His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 10:48:57 AM
Msg1... I will meet the man, and disbelieve/disregard his girlfriend 's accusation that he is a womanizer, that she is his long time girlfriend of 17 years. I will be my own judge what kind of a man he is.
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 87
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 10:59:29 AM
This is way too much drama. Unfortunately~ common on dating sites. I'll call it meddling or networking for lack of true definition. Take your pick. If another woman was dating a man for 17 yrs, wtf is he doing on a dating site? Sounds like an old flame stirring the cauldron. Or they have an open relationship and she's feeling you out.

I *personally* would remove myself from this situation real fast. Oye.
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 88
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 11:14:03 AM
I once had an ex get my password and send out a lot of nasty mails to friends of mine while I was out of town.

You know only a few people noticed the difference between her writting style and mine. Those are the one's that have remained my friends for a long time now.

Not everyone is out doing wrong. Or trying to get over on others. So not every "hey he's/ she's married or in a relationship mail is true.
There are those that will do anything to make sure their ex is miserable for as long as possible!

I believe in giving people the benefit of a dout. Yet will have my eyes open wider!

RocK
 redkatt
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 89
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His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 12:55:36 PM
Think about this, do you really want that type of drama?
Personally I wouldn't and leave him be.
 jan_fobia
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 90
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 1:32:46 PM
jealous woman, my, my,my I agree with the other poster, meet him anyways...
 tryncatchme
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 91
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 1:36:32 PM
I've had that happen before. If she used his POF email that means she has access to his computer alone. He probably has done it before and he may be in the doghouse for awhile, but he knows he can weasel his way out of it. She is apparently used to it and hanging on for some unknown reason. I would avoid that situation at all costs.
 browneyedgirl926
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 92
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:43:56 PM
That sounds so incredibly shady OP...I am not sure if I would believe her, not him.
 Sirenbliss
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 93
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:57:42 PM
Just chalk it up to another BS situation and move on...
you just got caught up with the wrong guy--- am sure you are already on your way to meeting newer and more TRUTHFUL fish out there :)

Take care honey...
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 94
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:23:14 PM
I have a friend who often uses my computer at my home...he had left before still logged in to his account. I helped him make his profile and know the girls he is talking to ...I would never do something like that to him but I can see where someone can take a friendship and try to make it more than it is and the other person be trusting and have no clue.

Or it could be a friend that he has asked to do this to see if you would contact him or just accept the word of a perfect stranger over his.

Makes you wonder why you are meeting someone you have so much doubt about that you believe a person CLAIMING a 17 year relationship with a womanizer, as more trustworthly to you. I would say you know yourself and if you are feeling he would be able to convince you differently and you would still have doubts...dont met him..he deserves someone who is meeting him that trust him somewhat to start with.
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 95
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:44:34 PM
I think he's well and truly in the dog house...or is he?


You said he's been with her for 17 years, so no, he's not in the dog house.

I hope YOU won't waste your time with this loser.


She did sound genuine and was really considerate towards me, saying that I couldn't have possibly known, it still doesn't answer the question....why is she still with him? She stated that he's done this before, thats why I'm a bit skeptical with the whole thing...


She's with him because she has low self-esteem and doesnt' think she deserves better.

What are you skeptical about, that SHE might be lying?

Does that make sense to you? What could she possibly have to gain?


She may really be a meddlesome ex girlfriend he feels sorry for and still lets around him and doesn't know how she really is


See, no matter how you slice it, it puts you in the middle of something messy. At this point you don't want to have anything to do with HIM or HER, because they are both unhealthy, unsafe and potentially dangerous.



but I'd still like to hear his side..


So ask him -- he'll only lie through his teeth about it, but if you're a good judge of character maybe you'll see through that; or maybe not. If he's a practiced, seasoned womanizer you won't, believe me.

Is it worth it?

Only you can decide, but I wouldn't waste a minute of my life with a liar and there are plenty on Plenty of Fish.
 thecollector_70
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 96
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His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:59:39 AM
Its called a co-dependent relationship they are with each other for reasons the rest of us will never understand .
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 97
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:44:22 AM
OP why would u even want to date a man like that?...he has a girlfriend..so why even think of dating him?
 NovRain26
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 98
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/3/2008 10:58:12 AM
DO NOT meet this man. Stop emailing him, and fall off from the face of his planet. First off, he has a gf. That doesn't alarm you that he'd be meeting you when he has a gf? Secondly, the gf is already getting involved, which is drama. Plus, maybe the guy is sounding good to you on the internet, but the woman is accusing him of being a horrible person. Now you're also involved in lies. There's way too much drama in this situation, considering that you haven't met the guy yet.

If you meet this guy and your life turns miserable, you get sympathy from nobody.
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 99
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/3/2008 9:37:53 PM

Its called a co-dependent relationship they are with each other for reasons the rest of us will never understand .


Actually it's pretty easy to understand.

She doesn't feel she deserves love because she doesn't love herself, because she was not adequately love as a child.

She's a bucket with a hole in the bottom of it.

She can't fill herself up and she's always looking for another person to do so for her, but the whole is inside of her. She thinks if he just stops cheating everything will be okay. If I just call this woman and tell her what a dog he is, the woman will go away and he'll feel bad and change and then I'll feel okay.

He won't change. You might not go away. And she won't feel okay, until she fixes that hole she has within her.
 lostintheshuffle
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 100
His girlfriend sent me a message
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:14:17 PM
I've been called by one woman's husband. Funny thing is I never met her and it was 4 months after we stopped talking all together. I wished him better luck with his next wife, don't marry a lying cheater and do a better job of keeping a woman happy :-) I said this all with my new girlfriend at the time... at my side.
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