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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/13/2008 9:57:53 PM | So your saying I could have a rice crispy cake or a slab of death by chocolate
death by chocolate please  | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/13/2008 11:08:07 PM | Choice #1. I tried it, and it doesn't work for me.
Choice #2. I tried it too, it was as good as it gets, it ended and I survived.
Since choice # 2 is not readily available upon request and may or may not manifest itself again in my lifetime, and because I 'm not in any mood to ever settle again for choice #1, I hung my search hat for the time being. Content carries a half-a$$ connotation , a yes-but meaning, and a watered down taste that I don't suffer gladly. Time will show. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/13/2008 11:48:56 PM | This is actually an interesting question. One perfect for ‘musing.' On giving it a second look, I see it is quite philosophical in nature. Most of the posts have addressed it as such, which is why I had to go back and have a second look. Philosophy is fun; they don’t call it intellectual masturbation for nothing.
Two of the things happening here are what, of necessity, are always happening in philosophy: 1) analyzing the question and its premise and determining from what perspective to respond to the question, and 2) defining terms.
To me, the premise of the question is pretty simple and straight forward: there two essential ways to approach life, two ways in which to live, two states of being in which to be – this premise is in broad terms, and in the terms of the inner being, not necessarily the physical being which, actually, just goes along for the ride anyway.
One of those ways is living in a state of what the OP has termed ‘contentment.’ Based on the dictionary definition, and my own interpretation of the term contentment, I would use another term—I would say that what she really means by contentment is comfort, to be comfortable with your life—‘a neutral zone free from unhappiness.’
Thus the phrasing of the question for me would be something like, is it better to live a life that is comfortable, a life in which you avoid risks, the ‘drama,’ the intense ‘high’s and ‘lows’? This type of life is good. But there will perhaps always be lingering doubts, a sense that you are not fulfilled or have not fulfilled the promise of life or your own potential; a wondering what might have been, and so on.
Also, I would tinker a bit with the term ‘happiness.’ I think we are all happy at one time or another. I think that contentment and happiness are almost two peas in the same pod, and they are to some extent part and parcel, to a greater or lesser degree, of the state of being comfortable. Also, they are necessary for the other state of being, the other essential way in which to live, which I would call a state of joy.
The concepts of happiness and contentment cannot, for me, be consigned to strictly different areas—they are too close in meaning. One needs contentment to be happy and happiness to be content. Therefore, I am redefining the terms and not consigning one to one state of being and the other to the other state of being, but putting both in both states of beings. (Ain’t philosophy fun?)
So, the first state of being is comfort, living in comfort. We all create our lives. If one creates a life that is comfortable, that’s a pretty great accomplishment, I think. It isn’t easy, for one thing; it’s like building a house all by yourself, or maybe with a little help from your friends, a house in which you have everything you need and in which everything generally works. Now that house may not be located in a place you dreamed of, or be your fantasy house, but it’s pretty damned good, and day in and day out, life is pretty damned good.
Then the idea of what the OP termed happiness comes into play. But, I’m thinking happiness is not quite the term, I prefer to call it joy. Pure, unadulterated, ‘You're one of those people that other folks want to smack because you're so pleased with your situation in life,’ that kind of joy. Do you have to take risks to get it? I don’t think so, it depends on what gives you joy and it depends on what you think is a risk. Children provide an endless amount of joy; however, they can also provide an endless amount of anxiety, sorrow, frustration, and a lot of other emotions that are not joy. Is it worth the risk? It would seem most people believe so.
But this discussion is more about a state of being, a joyful state of being. As one poster said ‘happiness [or joy] is *completely* self-generated’ If I personalize this, I can say that living in America I was comfortable. I had a decent job, a decent life, no big highs and lows, no drama, with the potential of going on for years at a steady speed and building toward a comfortable retirement during which I would continue on in the same vein. But I felt unfulfilled longings. I felt incomplete. I took joy in some personal relationships and there were joyful moments, but my state of being was not joyful. In order for me to find that joy, I had to risk absolutely everything and just go for it. As I said in an earlier post, it has been well worth it, and I might even be one of those people that others might want to smack because I am so pleased with my situation in life. What I have found interesting is that I got a lot more than I bargained for. I have found that one joy has led to another, and can foresee that that spiral may continue. However, I don’t compare it to something orgasmic. It is not like living from one high to the next. It is not a series of highs. It isn’t from moment to moment so intense that it is like a continuous orgasm. But, it is, in general, pure, profound joy as far as the general, deeper state in which I live, that is, in which my psyche lives—as I said, the physical being is just along for the ride.
Is it necessary to take risks in order to achieve this state? I don’t think it is because it depends on what your joy is. It may necessitate just making the effort. If the risk is that, if I lost it would I be profoundly unhappy, then yes I would be, and therefore there is a risk. I was just writing to a friend a few weeks ago and said something like ‘now that I have found this joy, if I were to lose it I would die.’ Well, of course, that is hyperbole, but I would indeed feel intense sorrow. So, if that is the risk, the risk of feeling sad if you lose it, then yes, it is a risk.
One of the posters wrote, ‘Picture this: when you are 90 and sitting with an old body, what do you want to remember about your life?’ I do this all the time. I do not want to lie on my deathbed feeling a lot of regrets about what might have been, what could have been if I had just made the effort or took the chance. Is it a situation of ‘no risk, no reward’? No pain, no gain? I don’t know. If we take it to the discussion of relationships, I’ve seen couples who have been together for years, who love each other deeply, who still have that spark and that romance. Did they risk anything to find each other? Not necessarily. Are they risking anything in loving one another? I don’t think so. But, yes, the possibility of being hurt is there, but I think it is better to experience the joy than never to have had that joy at all (to paraphrase an old adage). If we have to pay, we have to pay. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 1:26:08 AM | ^^^ "Are they risking anything in loving one another? I don’t think so."
I would contend otherwise. The way I understand it, when you love the way you do in a soul-mate relationship, you expose yourself completely, and you become interdependent ("one flesh" as the apostle Paul puts it). There is always a risk that this will be broken (for whatever reason, death or something else). And when it breaks, it feels like nothing less than having your limbs ripped off.
I'm guessing that this is why one of the other posters described the aftermath of this as merely "surviving" - implying that the stakes are so high, survival is not a given. You will see this in old people. A few month ago, this guy who was about 90 died. His wife died only a few short weeks later - after having lived for almost as long.
IMO, the amount that one lives (not time-wise), the intensity with which one lives, the value you get out of life, the value you give to others in your lifetime, the joy you experience, the pain you experience.... all of these things point in the same direction. In the other direction is stasis, zero kelvin, death.
choice 1 = far
choice2 = further
IMO, there is no "far enough" because as machines, we are designed to go as far as we (think we) can, and then further ;) | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:17:16 AM | Why do we have to choose one or the other?
I personally think they go hand in hand. How can you be happy if you are not content? Being content doesn't mean you are missing anything, just means you are living life as it comes and that means you are happy and content.
A realationship doesn't mean everything is perfect.. there are days when you are unhappy and not content....
Sorry but I don't see how you can have one and not the other... | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:21:05 AM | | Relationships are not made by the happy times as we all know. How well you get through the tough times is what sets a relationship apart. How well do you argue, How well do you disagree ?? Finding a place where one can be content is happiness !! | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:51:31 AM | | From what I have seen,very few people are happy,Most are content..It Appears are Human nature is about falling into Habit and accepting it.How scary is it to try to change important things in our lives..I've noticed most content people ,including myself,stay where they are because of the risk factor. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 11:33:55 AM | | To be truely happy..you must reach a point of contentment. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 11:34:29 AM | | To be truely happy..you must reach a point of contentment. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 12:19:58 PM |  I have come to a belief that the balance in life is strove after continually , or there can be no contentment[ Of course this may not be a popular view.] In turn with out contentment there is no real balance, and without either : the fleeting moment of happiness not only could be missed but non existent. So actually; the end of this equation is simple as a solution, and constant as a practice: it is also "FLEETING" in nature. However: what ever a person may need for this balance to be achieved is necessary for contentment, hence happiness = Life--It all comes to me the bottom line or end game is =  acceptance, and it being a 2 way en devour: in fact, then the rest can follow. Enabling of anyone in the deal is a prerequisite to all. Complex? So is the question....and likewise the answer must be as well. Again in a "risk" a person such as myself [not money] finds contentment, = balance = happiness [luck being preparation meeting opportunity] a person would need a lions share, and be aware or miss it entirely. I found myself rediculously happy skiing Wane right, a mountain in Alaska and seeing a view of hundreds of miles across the tundra. I was so content, lucky even----
Cya | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 12:23:08 PM | | How about, 'eliminating desire' and 'enlightenment'? | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 1:57:04 PM | Happy is a relative word. No one is happy all the time . Having said this there are some things I am unhappy about. For example being single for as long as I have and the fact that I have to watch my weight constantly or My hair curls when I would prefer it to be straighter.. But overall I am not unhappy with my life. Is that contentment? Perhaps. Do I take risks ? You bet! Am I willing to risk loving again ? Definitely!
No one can be happy all the time. That is a myth. It because there times we are unhappy that we can truly appreciate the times when we feel happy. For the most part most of the time I am happy with myself and my life it is about being happy with what you have rather than being unhappy with what you do not have. If I never meet my Mr Wonderful I will still be happy with my life. If that is contentment then I am content. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 2:40:47 PM |
For the most part most of the time I am happy with myself and my life it is about being happy with what you have rather than being unhappy with what you do not have. If I never meet my Mr Wonderful I will still be happy with my life. If that is contentment then I am content
Likewise in my search for Miss. Wonderful. If that is indeed contentment, I will be content with my accomplishments and the principles which have guided my life, but not bent out of shape over what I don't have. | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 8/14/2008 2:44:58 PM |
CB, I'm gonna kick your a$$!
What did I did???  | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 11/18/2008 9:01:31 PM | Kind of hard to follow the last post - off topic.....
For me I believe hat Happiness is a choice. I feel that I live a lot of option one with times in option 2. And I agree with Margo about the valleys and the peaks, or crests and troughs of waves. There is no good without bad, no happiness without sadness - it is the ying and yang of life. Live in contentment but strive for joy and passion - not just romantically - but in all things. Just my opinion
Zee | |
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:37:58 PM |
Choice #1. I tried it, and it doesn't work for me.
Choice #2. I tried it too, it was as good as it gets, it ended and I survived.
Since choice # 2 is not readily available upon request and may or may not manifest itself again in my lifetime, and because I 'm not in any mood to ever settle again for choice #1, I hung my search hat for the time being. Content carries a half-a$$ connotation , a yes-but meaning, and a watered down taste that I don't suffer gladly. Time will show.
LOL...I was getting ready to write my answer to the questions........but dang if you didn't answer them for me!!!!!!!!!! EXACTLY
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| Content vs. happy
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:02:52 PM | | This isn't a choice that I could make, because I don't believe happiness is a result of what our life is, but how we choose to feel about our life. | |
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