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 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 271
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 12 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I just got back from my date and we went dutch the whole entire time. No names called like cheapskate, or stingy ass punk, or any of the sort. We both were upfront about going dutch and did exactly that, went dutch. Whatever she ordered she paid for and whatever I ordered I paid for. Had a good time with the date on the date. End of story.
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 272
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/2/2012 10:24:53 PM
I will always say, "Please allow me to contibute towards the bill".
They will usually refuse. At which point I will say, "Thank you, may I at least pay the tip?'. If they refuse again I say, "Well thank you again! How nice!".

If they accept, I pay. No problem.
Graciousness and class is my motto.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 273
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/2/2012 11:35:08 PM
I am with the guys really I am. I will take guys out. Does it matter if the meal is really cheap? I mean guys will you be insulted if all I can afford is 25 for the both of us including drinks? Tell me how to be just like men. But how will I know the guy is really in to me? How will I know this guy likes me?

Because let's be real a guy will eat the free meal then turn around and have sex with a woman he has no intentions of ever calling again.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 274
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 3:47:15 AM
Many of us do offer to pay but we are told that we are not sincere? We cannot win for losing. I have met men who told me that he would pay if he had found me to be hot looking, my response to him was I would pay if he had been honest when I said going dutch sounded good to me and he said he asked so he would pay. One of two times I have walked out without blinking an eye.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 275
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 5:15:19 AM
Athough if there is another date Arch and she says "My treat", you do realize if you accept, she will be expecting you to put out?
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 276
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:03:20 AM
Not entirely true Dark...it does still take two active participants to have sex. If you are worried about a guy being really into you and not after you for sex, then dont put yourself in a position to have sex.

I have never been "used for sex" but I also end a first date at the car or on the doorstep.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 277
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:04:03 AM
Because let's be real a guy will eat the free meal then turn around and have sex with a woman he has no intentions of ever calling again.


Some will, some won't. Please don't lump us all together.

It is a woman's responsibility to figure out what the man's motives are, just as it is a man's responsibility to figure out what the woman's motives are. There are no easy shortcuts, you have to look for clues in their behavior.

Assuming that everyone is alike often means assuming the worst, which is a very negative outlook to have.
 anyelina24
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 278
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 7:12:40 AM
Funny post cant stop laughing ! . I for one dont like my dates to pay for me , but thats just me . I think you shouldnt encourage those women you choose to take on dates to order the most expensive apps or drinks . Just tell them upfront is a dutch thing .
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 279
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/3/2012 12:29:05 PM
lol runningout :-p
gotta review what she says before I accept Lol.

This whole spending money on dates thing and then getting resentful about it is just so overrated. It's really sad. Just communicate and upfront with what you want to do and tell the person exactly that. If you're not happy about spending money on a date, then don't go and save your money or do something free together.

Face it we spend money on things everyday and yet we don't get as pissed off about doing it. It's part of making a living. You buy a house, you pay the mortgage along with the expenses of the house. You buy a cell phone, get a phone plan, use the phone plan, pay the monthly bill. Everything adds up. If you can't afford it, don't buy it.
 koolfuture
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 280
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 6:54:08 AM
just read it..so funny .
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 281
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:26:32 AM

Assuming that everyone is alike often means assuming the worst, which is a very negative outlook to have.


Have you read of the posting men have put in the forum??? They are upset because they are spending money and not getting the physically return for the their investment. So if I spend the money will I get the relationship return for my investment?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 282
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 8:19:13 AM

Have you read of the posting men have put in the forum??? They are upset because they are spending money and not getting the physically return for the their investment. So if I spend the money will I get the relationship return for my investment?


I have read their posts, but they represent a bit of an extreme point of view. From my perspective, I am involved in this discussion because I find the man always pays approach to be inequitable. Dating isn't cheap, the cost should be born by both parties.

If you spend the money, you'll get exactly what men get. An enjoyable night out with a member of the opposite sex.

Love your new picture, by the way!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 283
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 11:19:13 AM

Because let's be real a guy will eat the free meal then turn around and have sex with a woman he has no intentions of ever calling again.
 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 284
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 3:09:49 PM
I think one of the previous posters hit the nail on the head.

When dating, it doesnt bother you at all to spend a ton of cash on a wonderful date with a wonderful women.

But this is dating, your going to go out with 20-30+ Women between each one of those wonderful women. And its those dates I think that people get annoyed about paying or being expected to pay the entire bill for.

I mean when I come away from a date that didnt go well, But she was nice enough to offer to split it, I come away far happier, I mean yeh it didnt work out, But I still had a good night and it didnt cost me a small fortune.

That said when I've been dating women who have been amazing, I've payed alot of money out. On dates, Presents, Bottles of wines etc. And I didnt think twice about it. Honestly couldnt tell you how much i spent on those dates because I honestly was to focused on my date to even notice how much I'd payed etc.

But I mean you dont really think about the money when things are going well, And the same is true for women to I think, Known some Women who must have shelled out a small fortune dating me, and they never seemed to mind.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 285
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 3:19:22 PM

Does it matter if the meal is really cheap?


Not to me.
I don't care if a woman takes me to a FREE meal.
The important thing is, she asked ME to go with her.

 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 286
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 3:21:02 PM
Because let's be real a guy will eat the free meal then turn around and have sex with a woman he has no intentions of ever calling again.


And, in all fairness, so will some women.

 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 287
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 4:52:05 PM
And, in all fairness, so will some women.


If I have NO intention of calling you:
1. I am not going to dinner with you. I might sleep with you BUT most likely YOU will NOT have my real name.
2. WHY do I need to know all that to have sex with someone??

In spite of what everyone is saying rarely does sex turn into anything BUT sex.

And if I come to your house I am not cooking and truthfully I dont want to hear a whole bunch you have to say. It is straight up sex.
 badboys_bettertoys
Joined: 7/10/2011
Msg: 288
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/4/2012 7:53:38 PM
thank you all I have wonder how this was handled now a days . kuddos to you Jayelle , you have the best answer talking before is allways the the best and if the if the are offend then they weren't after you just you wallet . I have allwas payed for the dates with few offer to pay there half or even the tip that women lib was a great think for us men as well as it was for woman some of us are just now figuring that out equal rights equal cost on first dates.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 289
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/5/2012 10:12:43 AM
I have to agree that paying makes a HUGE difference.

I'm a 51 year old woman and I bet I’m more brutal about it than most men seem to be.

If I am doing the pursuing and flirting and flattering and telling him I like him and how attractive he is, and initiating the little touches and even the kisses- AND PAYING- forget it. I will not pay money to have some guy play hard to get or act like I’m an option. While not expecting or wanting early sex, if someone hasn’t been affectionate and made it clear that he feels strong attraction to me and (at least some day) wants me, its done.

If you've never done it- been the pursuer and payer- with someone who is aloof and puts out little effort or affection, try it. It sucks.

Being the one footing the bill makes it a much easier decision.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 290
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/5/2012 10:55:55 AM
fjn, thank you for being honest!

"If you've never done it-been the pursuer and payer-with someone who is aloof and puts out little effort or affection, try it."

Welcome to the world of men...we get that at least half the time when having a date that we got from online!
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 291
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/9/2012 1:33:11 PM
Ah the dinner diggers and cruise girls give the good women a bad rap.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 292
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/9/2012 2:08:51 PM

If you spend the money, you'll get exactly what men get. An enjoyable night out with a member of the opposite sex

I always looked at dating as a chance to get out and do things that I want to do. I like socialising, dinners, dancing, pubs all that stuff... Going places and doing stuff... I looked at the experience as a treat for ME, with the woman along as someone to share it with as well as her being part of the experience... This way I was never disappointed in how a date turned out (relationship wise - Sure some dates go bad due to outside things, car trouble, food poisoning (not going back there again)... But on the whole, I had no regrets... The whole idea is to have fun...

Because I looked at the dates as something to do as opposed to a means to an end, I didn't put undue pressure on my date to take it further and I think in the long run, that probably got me a lot further.
I think for the most part, the women I have dated have had enough fun that they in turn have reciprocated and taken me out as often as not for as many dates...
As a rule, I didn't ask a woman out unless I was sure that she was into me for more than just a free meal etc... So I've never been used by a gold digger/free dinner date....
 SwtSCNurse
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 293
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/9/2012 7:40:20 PM
I agree with Cristine. Not all of us are out to thin a wallet. Did you really get a good feeling watching her be detained? I think at that point I would have felt ashamed of myself for encouraging her so. Thank Heavens not all men are like you either.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 294
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/10/2012 8:01:51 PM

IF women held out only for the guys we find attractive we would never date.


actually, some do. i'm one of those. it's fine with me that i don't have dates. i'd rather hangout alone or with my friends and i'll be guaranteed to have a good time rather than go on a date with someone i find unattractive and yet i'm suppose to sit across him and eat dinner? forget it. people go out on dates with those they don't find attractive to fill in the boredom gap or they're lonely. that's perfectly fine, but i don't think anyone, least of all the males (notice i didn't use the word men) can complain/whine/pout when they're just going out on dates because they don't want to be alone.
 Unaccounted_For
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 295
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:23:29 AM
No, people go out on dates with those that they don't find attractive to see what they can get out of them.

I could care less about sex, I am way past that point, but finding a COMPATIBLE MATE is more rewarding than 30 minutes of pleasure, if that. I don't see how spending money, improves the chances of multiple dates(unless that is all she is looking for), it just shows to me how much money I am wasting to entertain someone of the opposite sex, rather than using that money for more important things, or monetary investments. I learned my lesson with the last person I dated off here, I told her I'm not interested, and yet she still asks me to take her out to dinner, so we can talk. SMH

If a relationship relies on what material possessions/gain that either sex can acquire or spend, then it isn't going to be successful relationship, in my eyes.
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