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 Nibua
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 26
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

That is BS ladies----You give us credit for being so stupid sometimes. The "switch the drink thing" is a huge red flag for men, and a great way to tell them you are not interested in them. You look like takers/users to us. Has anyone bought you two drinks after you pull that crap? If so, he is also buying every girl in the bar a drink and he does not even know your there.


Come back when you are a little less jaded. I personally don't know you, and by the way you are communicating I can see why no one wants to have anything to do with you.
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 27
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:03:36 AM
I know I have somebody backed in a corner---when they talk for other people. Jaded against users--you bet--Jaded against women that are good people--no way.

by the way--I have a date next week from here---do you?

I don't have any problem paying for this one.
 Nibua
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 28
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:09:39 AM
^^^^^^it's the way your respond personally to others.

What does having a date from this site or not have to do with it?
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 29
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:09:47 AM
Jayelle---show me where I generalized. I never said all women--in fact, I think women who take advantage are pretty low in numbers--but they are there and they do deserve to get burned like the guys date did IMO. (but the other post is right I think, the guy did not have to encourage her to buy the most expensive stuff there)
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 30
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:11:31 AM
I don't want to get off topic or ruffel your feathers nibua---but you are the one who said nobody here wants anything to do with me---but I got the date
 Nibua
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 31
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:12:44 AM
^^^^I never said from "here". Sorry re-read it again.

We've all been burned, so what. Move on. They are not all bad.
 brawny33810
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 32
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:17:31 AM

That is BS ladies----You give us credit for being so stupid sometimes. The "switch the drink thing" is a huge red flag for men,


I think that you opened your account volluntarily.

Maybe she was warming up with a beer and was going to have a c*cktail anyway.
What the hell would make her a game player for changing drinks? That is the most petty comment that I have ever read on pof. Yeah, I'd buy her 10 if she wanted....and she could have 10 different ones.
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 33
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:20:12 AM
I know they are not all bad (and I don't think your a bad one)---neither are all men for that matter.--But I did think this thread was funny---most guys probably do.---some women even thought it was funny. I would date those women in a heart beat. :)
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 34
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:23:48 AM
Brawny--you have mail.
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 35
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:32:35 AM
^5 Brawny..
Lemme buy YOU a drink.. or 10!
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 36
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 8:49:22 AM
Cuterguy, you used the pronoun "you" as an all inclusive term.
Hence, the generalization.
Ya owe me five bucks for the grammar lesson. I don't take checks.
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 37
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:15:41 AM
LOL Jayelle---can I buy you a drink instead? :)
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 38
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:25:25 AM
Well, geez, I dunno, cuterguy...what if I order a white russian? LoL
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 39
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:27:43 AM
I'm in!

Veggie, very nice story. I've had similar experiences. I'll note, it is usually those women, highly attractive, sophisticated types who can smell free drinks a mile away, and see most men as vulnerable to such. I wouldn't say all women are deserving of this treatment, but one lassie from a site other than POF kept trying to intice me to meet her at a "particular" bar for drinks. I had several items keeping me from making time to meet her, but, on the off chance I was in the downtown area, I hopped over and had a look at the place she kept mentioning was her favorite meeting place. I found about a million dollars (6 total) worth of vehicles valleted at the door (Bentleys, Porsches, Hummers, etc.), definately the rich persons place to be seen. Needless to say, it became evident she wanted to act like a socialite on my wallet threads. WE never made that date. She was, though quite enmoring, to say the least. Had I knowledge of your suave tactics, I might have given her the opportunity. Kuddos, you ARE the man!!
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 40
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:29:21 AM
This is ridiculous....the gotcha thing is just MEAN.
Why not just talk about this issue in pre-date conversation? It's not so hard to bring up how you feel you've been taken advantage of by women previously on dates....or something subtle that will get the hint across. Then if she goes out with you anyway, you know that you're with someone like minded....if they bail , you've saved yourself some hassle.

IMO opinion, to plan a date with someone you KNOW that you're not going to see agaIn just to sucker them into a sting is just about as low as it gets in the dating world. Why do you feel the need to avenge yourself on someone who has never done you wrong? Wouldn't it have been better to avoid people you don't care for in the first place?

Sheesh.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 41
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 10:10:28 AM
The truth is, women now hold over 51% of the jobs in the private sector. SOME independant women today can spend lavishly for clothes, home accessories, etc. and yet have instinct to allow men to pay all the way. The notion of men paying is systemic from years past, when fewer women held jobs, only men have still allowed this trend to continue, in hopes of meeting the right person. (Ie; if I pay, maybe she'll go out with me again, have sex with me, ad nauseum) Ladies, this is not for all of you, and those who do this know who you are. ME? I generally take the check, even if I KNOW there isn't going to be another date. I'm just olds fashioned in that respect. But, I think if a woman is "able" to pay, certainly she should at least offer on a first date, and if refused, offer to get the tip. Sounds fair to me. I think one reason most men are not able to allow this to happen is the idea that they look cheap if they don't pay up. I still appreciate veggies take, especially if you see a girl drinking $60 shots of single malt scotches. This Golddigger type should be scorned at every opportunity. Some people are just "takers" in life, and realize that free is free, and it's more money in their account, if someone picks up her portion. Bottom line, ladies, if you are a selfish, Golddigger type, beware. All others, please diregard the post.
 womanofsubstance
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 42
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 10:11:24 AM
It is a good story and we are all confused about right and wrong in this era. I think the **** that got stuck with the bill and did a runner deserved it for running up that sort of tab. How ever if a guy ordered seperate tabs straight away id hate him instantly tight men are a huge turn off. If i decided he was a boring guy and i had to suffer the night i would let him pay and politley leave with a sure you can call me again, then ill be busy. If i really liked him and he had friendship potential but no chance of intimacy ever then i pay my half. If i really really like him i offer to pay half, if he accepts i know ill never ever go out with him again not on a date he may be a friend but thats all. If he insist on being a gentleman and pays automaticly, i will invite him to dinner at my place just to let him know im not taking him for granted and would like to get to know him. As for switching drinks i know all the tricks as im one of seven girls.Yes young girls do brag about free drinks and how they came home paraletic and spent nothing.We all did it.Switching drinks is rude and obvious i would only do this if the guy was a big noter bragging about his self and money.Lets not forget whats really happening when a guy is buying alcohol for a girl,the motive is often to loosen up her sexual inhibitions. We women who are smart know this and can pick you a mile off . ive know guys to buy the whole table of friends a drink and this is not good. If her friends say yes and shes cool with it then dissapear,theyll laugh their guts out about it the next day. I drink coke now and ive had guys who offered to buy me a drink to say openly no way im not buying a coke or say stupid things like its embarasing to ask for coke. Say it clear in the first place if you dont want to be used. 'if i get you drunk will you f*ck me. Youll get your honest answer. Have some pride guys and sleep with someone who really wants too not a poor drunken women who will hate herself in the morning for getting sucked in by a user the runner
 Moonlight1960
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 43
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 2:04:16 PM
Wise words

We used to play that game too as teenagers. Me and my girlfriends could smell the guys who were obviously buying drinks to get us drunk and we made them pay! We all could hold our liquor pretty well. When we had enough, we went home alone. But I never felt sorry for them.

Seriously, if a man asks me out for a date, I usually let him pay the dinner. I don't know, it is not because I am cheap, but it just feels more right. But I always have enough money with me, so I could pay for myself. And if we go somewhere else later, I offer to buy the drinks. Some say no and some yes, but that is fine. I realize that a lot of guys are surprised by that, seems most women don't do that.

And if I ask someone out for dinner, then I am also ready to pay for it. Fair is fair.
 Cristine
Joined: 9/29/2003
Msg: 44
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 2:31:12 PM
I have never "switched drinks" I drink Jack clean sooooooooooo if they wanna buy me one COOL!!!

Although, I have to admit when I go to a club I don't buy my drinks....
 Breifne
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 45
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 4:32:07 PM
I'm against 'bait and switch' tactics (by either gender). It's petty and mean spirited. I do feel that if you ask her out it's not unreasonable for her to expect you to pay. If you don't like it, don't go there or stick to coffee or walks around the lake. Somewhere there is a corollary between degree of interest and financial investment. If you're old enough to be in the bar you're old enough to understand the risk. Don't buy that drink unless she's interested. I'll stick my neck out here and say that it's the shortsighted men who have one hand on their ****s and the other on their wallets that cause (or at least propagate) this problem.
 alpha_mail
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 46
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 4:54:00 PM
The real issue is that men need to take their power back.

Quit buying women food, drinks, flowers, and "stuff" in general, especially on the first date, and even the next 5 or 10. It all starts with mindset of "I want to take a woman out", why would you want to take a woman out that just you met? She could be a total headcase and not your type at all.

Part of it is also women sense if a guy is "taking her out for dinner" as needy behavior. What they hear is this: "I'm a total needy wuss, that is so boring, I have to try and manipulate women into spending time with me. Therefore if I hang a "carrot" infront of them, like offer to buy them dinner, they can't refuse!"

If more men just GOT A LIFE, and WENT ABOUT IT, this wouldn't be such an issue. What I normally do is this: I decide I'm gonna hit up the local starbucks for a drink and to have a good time in general chatting with other people. So I simply call a woman and say that: "Hey, I'm gonna go grab a coffee and have a great time, you should join me."

If she says yes, great, she will have a good time in my company and I will get a chance to qualify her as a potential girlfriend. If she says no, I was going there anyways, so it makes no difference, and she is missing out on having a great time.

Heck, I have friends that take women to WALMART (not to buy them stuff either) and the women consitently say it was one of the best dates they have ever been on.

Now some women may think I'm cheap, and those are EXACTLY the ones I'm trying to weed out from wasting my time with. Its hilarious too, because the odd time I find a great woman that is long term potential, I have no hesitation in taking her on vacations with me, or buying her gifts from time to time. The difference though is I do it in my terms, and in the cases of vacations, I would be going anyways.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 47
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 5:14:06 PM
Cristine

with those legs, mini skirt, and that smile, there are more than just drinks you'll be seeing at no cost.
 Gentlmanlooking4alady
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 48
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 5:19:22 PM
There are so many good points in this thread. There are some very disturbing comments and and deplorable behaviors in here too, such as the tricking one another, letting people buy your stuff and then running, etc. I'm glad we have these chatrooms, then I can see what people are like, and sometimes it's a turnoff. I'm sure my thinking turns some off too, but that's ok, we're not a match and I can respect that.

I guess I wonder whatever happened to self-respect, fairness, and integrity? If she's impressed with my money, she's not impressed with me. If she's impressed with me, my money isn't important. I'm here to find someone who's impressed and enamored with me, in my core, and with who I am. I don't put myself in that position of possibly being cheated, because there are a lot of things to do on a first date for free, or that cost virtually nothing, like a walk in the park, starting at Starbucks. A bikeride, where we hit a coffee shop. I'm not dating someone to impress them, or to get laid; I want a friend and a partner---PERIOD.

If you put yourself in a position to meet someone on a first date where money is an issue, that's kinda passive aggressive, or just plain not thinking regardless of what side of the issue you're on, isn't it? If you can't pay for it, don't do it to begin with, save the Rico Suave stuff for later on when you have a clue who you are dating. It sounded more like someone was dating to impress than dating to have success.

Be fair, be cool, and have fun; it all falls into place from there.....

=========================
Where are you? I am still looking.....dammit, send me an email!
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 49
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 11:57:39 PM
I am thinking from now on I will do the two tab thing. If she is a lady (we can tell), I will take both tabs. If not, she pays for her own.

I asked two guys at work today if they know of any women who would gold dig on a date---both instantly said yes. I know of a couple myself--I asked one of them to pay for dinner because she gouged me on the drinks (I had enough left for drinks after dinner).--she said it was my job to pay( Pandy, this was our second meeting, but first date. The first meeting, we had an excellent conversation agreeing about a couple being equal)--I said I would like to hand in my resignation---she actually gave me a kiss goodnight--but I never called her again.
 Bunnyfunny
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 50
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 3:41:15 AM
That was a funny story. But I think it was mean of you to lead them on as if you were paying.

For myself, I would never pay for a date. I expect men to pay for all expenses and that's it. Having said that:

I don't go out for meals, I prefer to make my own food and eat at home. I'd also invite dates for dinner (and that would not include an invitation to bed). I also don't drink. About the only think I would expect payment for is coffee and movies.

Why would I expect the man to pay? I'm not a feminist. I have traditional values.
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