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 Goddard
Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 51
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Why would I expect the man to pay? I'm not a feminist. I have traditional values.

Everybody duck! here comes the fallout!
 teddybare
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 52
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 5:39:09 AM
Somebody clear this up for me..
Total spent for the year on dates was 14000.00 dollars..
One girl offered to pay...or 5% of the dates..
That would mean 20 dates in the year at 14 thousand dollars..
That would be 700 dollars per date..
Somebody tell me I am wrong please..
Guess that's why I go on coffee dates...and sometimes pay..lol
 Nibua
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 53
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 6:42:41 AM
^^^^^^ haha
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 54
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 7:49:58 AM
TEddybear, he's merging his new clothes, hanging chair, and last years taxes as a buffer, oh...and his bus pass.
 Breifne
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 55
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 8:42:34 AM
It's the parking that gets you: the valet, the ramp, the meter and the tickets!
 cuterguy
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 56
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 9:27:06 AM
Writingstar---are you sure you have traditional values? Dating used to be a form of middle class prostitution. The man would pay (actually give the girls money or goods), and the woman would put out.---Not kidding.

Anyway--when a woman askes me to her home for dinner---I bring the wine (but you don't drink) and do the dishes.
 DieVeggies
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 57
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 9:31:43 AM
That was a funny story. But I think it was mean of you to lead them on as if you were paying.

For myself, I would never pay for a date. I expect men to pay for all expenses and that's it. Having said that:

I don't go out for meals, I prefer to make my own food and eat at home. I'd also invite dates for dinner (and that would not include an invitation to bed). I also don't drink. About the only think I would expect payment for is coffee and movies.

Why would I expect the man to pay? I'm not a feminist. I have traditional values.



The downfall to this however is that most women can't cook. American Culture teaches women to get good jobs and make the big bucks(screw chores hire a maid), then spend said big bucks on things that make them feel "pretty". I believe one of the biggest reasons men look for brides in other countries is because they know they arn't going to get the traditional family values with american women. Of all the women in the world... American women are the least desired to raise a family with.
 Goddard
Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 58
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 11:54:27 AM

that most women can't cook.


Ok girls, answer to this accusation. Can you cook (Meaning more than unwrap and microwave)?
 Quiet1
Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 59
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:07:33 PM
My approach to dating has always been 'you don't put yourself into situations you can't get out of', that means not doing anything I can't pay for. There is a certain give and take and I hate that feeling of owing someone. And who are the people drinking so much on dates? I think the issue is one of class and sadly you just don't seem to be dating people that have it. If you've been burned in the past, why wouldn't you be more upfront in the future?

Cuterguy, you seem nice, a little jaded, but I think its pretty cold to name someone in a public forum. Once again its a question of class...good luck on your next date!
 FunLovinFella
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 60
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:20:40 PM
Well, frankly, I think your way of doing it is kinda cruel personally; while I agree that it's cool to get women to split the bill, the way you are doing it involves deception and it's almost as if you're taking out revenge from the women who took advantage of you on other women who might, for all you know, be a great match IF you'd just be a man and be honest about it upfront at the start of the evening but when SHE asks for confirmation like "Are you sure it's ok?" (likely under the impression that you're treating her) and YOU respond with something as simple as "Sure, it's fine, go ahead", you're just about halfway confirming to her that yes you are paying and you're ok with what it's going to cost... if you were to respond to something like that with something like "Sure, but it might be a little expensive, you sure you wanna spend that much on a drink?" then that wouldn't be so bad.

Personally, I think the idea of splitting the bill is fine, but your approach is cowardly and cruel by not being direct and just telling the women what they're in for from the start. Every girl that goes out on a date with me knows, before I even get into my car to drive to said date, that I'm practically penniless/broke/low paying job/etc. so they never have that expectation of me to begin with. Grow some balls and tell them at the start that you're splitting the bill before you go about and let them dig themselves into a hole. I never cover the whole bill for a first date either, in fact most women cover the whole bill for me or insist on splitting the bill... I feel no guilt for this anyway, if a woman wants to show off her independence and spoil me, who am I to object to that? It would be downright disrespectful to many women nowadays actually for a man to insist on paying for her... all the girls I've dated openly admit they HATE (that's the word they choose, HATE) when guys pay for everything for them! So hey, let them pay, but let them know too! Further you're not really increasing your chances with any women by letting them do this to themselves either, women want a man who will protect/look out for her too, so if you go out with a girl and she's just having drink after drink after drink, it's mostly your fault for letting them... once a person has a few drinks in them they can no longer be considered liable/responsible for themselves and letting them continue from there is just as bad as handing them their own car-keys at the end of the date while they can barely walk.
 Nibua
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 61
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:40:29 PM
^^^^^^
 heathen138
Joined: 10/2/2003
Msg: 62
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 1:11:02 PM
That's pretty funny. It wasn't right to egg on and encorage her to buy the drinks but it is damn good lesson to teach anybody who thinks they are going to burn 319 dollors of somebody elses money on their first date.

Maybe if you knew that she intended to take advantage of you this would have been more appropriate.

Then agian, if she really was a keeper, may she wouldn't have run up such a tab in the first place. Not to mention, that's alot of booze!
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 63
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 1:36:22 PM
As far as the whole He paid..She paid thing goes.. Earlier this year, I went out with a guy a couple of times. We split the bill both times. The third time we went out, it was his birthday and I offered to buy him dinner as my gift to him. Notice, I said " dinner". Well, during dinner, he received a cell phone call from a buddy who said he was at a pub with his wife and wanted to meet up with this guy and I, since they hadn't met me yet. Well, he asked if I wanted to go over there for a couple of drinks, and I agreed. I paid the dinner check.. said Happy Birthday! He thanked me for dinner and we were on our way.
We got to the pub, met his friends and sat down to some good company and conversation. During the course of the night, he had about six beers and I had three. When the server finally brought the bill, his buddy paid the tab for himself and his wife and handed the bill to my date, who promptly slid it over to me ! I sat there staring at it for a second..thinking maybe he was kidding, but he wasn't. His buddy's wife looked at me with this pained expression and I just took the bill, with the money this other couple had contributed and handed it with my credit card to the waitress. He sat there and continued to chat like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. So, after paying for his dinner, I also paid about 25 dollars for his beers without him so much as offering a dime. We got out to the car and I said, "Umm, you need to remove my telephone number from your memory and drive me home" He asked why and I told him that it was not meant to be an all inclusive evening. I said I had offered to pay for his dinner, but not the drinks at the pub later. I was very specific in saying "Dinner". He got very defensive and never even apologized for making me look like a doof in front of his friends. Now, .. I know some of y'all will say I should have stipulated payment arrangements before we entered the pub, but I figured he had more class than to expect even more throughout the evening. Fortunately, it taught me a lesson, to always be prepared financially on a date and to make sure that paying arrangements are discussed in advance. So, see guys? Some of y'all are takers too.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 64
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Posted: 6/16/2005 4:15:32 PM
^^^^^^^ so right^^^^^^^^

To the curb he goes. Guys like that are like dieveggies posting described for a woman.

People who are "takers" in life deserve a good kick in the A*s, men or women.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 65
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 5:14:55 PM
tangoperu Just because someone assumes most women can't cook, doesn't make me compelled to "answer this accusation". Not all statements are deserving of a reply.
 Jayelle
Joined: 2/25/2005
Msg: 66
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 5:44:31 PM
Luvscutnup? Does that mean that if I'm more of a giver.. that I deserve a kiss on the "A" rather than the kick? I mean, it's only right to be rewarded for good behavior. ahem.
 Goddard
Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 67
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 5:49:44 PM
Hey bucs, cheer up, will you? it was just a friendly needling, no offense intended at all.
Anyway, I, modestly, am a great cook.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 68
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 6:35:01 PM
tango Trust me, I'm not upset at all. It was really more of a reply to some previous remark that was lacking.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 69
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 6:37:41 PM
luvscutup I think a kick in the A is a little strong, better yet, they deserve to be left alone, not even worth the bother. Any grown supposedly adult who has such a high school mentality about dating will probably end up paying for it by just being alone. THAT they deserve. Besides, I wouldn't want to risk scuffing my shoes.
 Xtasia
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 70
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Posted: 6/16/2005 6:55:50 PM
Wow this post hurts me to read it!

I cannot believe the amount of jaded men on this website!!

The girl was disrespectful. she should have only ordered as much as she was willing to pay for... but the guy was slime for egging her on and giving the impression that he would pay for it when he said "go ahead"...

I have doubts on the validity of this post after reading the mathmatical breakdown.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 71
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 7:39:01 PM
Bucsgirl, we wouldnt' want you to scuff those FMP's up, not at all. But, sometimes, i think it's appropriate to let those takers know they're unwanted pond scum. (is that too harsh)


Jayelle, you certainly do deserve a kiss on the A if you're the giving type. Are you assuming the position?

Xtasia, I think men are learning their jadedness as a result of being treated like the girl in dieveggies post. If I havne't seen these warriors flaunting their ways myself, I wouldn't believe it either, but I have. But lets face it, in general terms, women are the ones who ride for free (on dates) , and for her to indulge the way it was described, it's fair to let them know it isn't appreciated. I think if, in fact, she tried to indulge herself (contrary to scrutiny of knowing the truth) as suggested, I'm just sorry I wasn't there to witness it. You are right, there are a number of jaded men, they've been dealing with women's rights for a few decades now. I think this is one I'm on his side about.



 antares1222
Joined: 1/13/2005
Msg: 72
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 11:17:54 PM
I stopped in a bar one night to make a phone call (it was early so not too loud) after having coffee, and a guy came over to me and offered me a drink. I had no intention of staying and I certainly wasn't intersted in him. He was practically insisting on buying me a drink and I just told him "No, I don't want a drink." I INSISTED on not taking the free drink. I hear of girls taking free drinks and running all the time but I don't do it.
 grubeci
Joined: 10/30/2003
Msg: 73
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 11:37:19 PM
I needed this story, of course. Tab tip (no pun) is priceless (as is cash after ...dead ends and bad times)

My favorite: when I look bad, have bad posture (verbal launguage says "slouch"), have bad whatever and due to embarassment (not wanting to take the social hit...her back is toward me and its made obvious that she's with the better dressed or acting guy (not me) hahah etc. and then she ignores me talking 2 or three times....) and the the bill comes for 30 bucks for 3 drinks in "trendy" but who gives a shit...in this podunk blue collar town...bar ... and they're suddenly allowing you to pay...

thanks for the tab tip. I'm new. Womens liberation from everything...even the (long forgotten) guilt and desire to "pay back" or feel obligated to a guy. Cause he paid. You're freeing people so they don't feel obliged hahahah
 grubeci
Joined: 10/30/2003
Msg: 74
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Posted: 6/16/2005 11:39:51 PM
when I was new and had a heart with less thin skin..the cell phone cause I don't want to be seen talking near or to you thing bothered me (hahahh ) before I choose tonight hahhaha to be a player hahahhah...so I really like the fact you are chopped liver and make the TAB happen when they're hiding in b-room cause they don't want to be seen with you, or jump on cell (because they don't want to talk) hahah, but want FREE drinks..thats chump shit. YOU BUY ME A DRINK...good for you. In the land of ice and snow. vallhalla.
 freeeeeeeeeMeeeeee
Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 75
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/17/2005 12:24:10 AM
Dayummmm - sure am glad I don't live in NYC... I wouldn't pay those prices (and I CAN afford it)... Seems to be the same old bar room games - looking at some of the responses here, nothing's changed... Takers still outnumber the givers, unfortunately. Maybe if we all bought each other dinner & drinks, men and women alike, things would get better??

"Sin's a pleasure. But sometimes pleasure's a sin.” ~~Lord Byron
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