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 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 176
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Yeh i have to admit the whole attitude of your the man you pay just seems stupid to me.

Then some people say well if you asked them out for a date you should pay. And im like so if they asked me out for a date they pay ? Because thats how most of my dates have happened. And Most of the time we either split it or I offer to pay sometimes.

I mean I think it would be downright rude to not offer to pay your half. Not like I have tons of money to throw around anymore. I mean unless someone explicitly offers to pay or take you out and treat you, then you should assume that your paying your half, then when they offer to pay its a pleasent suprise and you were prepared to pay.

I mean how much can you really like someone if your not even willing to pay for yourself to go on a date with them.

I think almost anyone would go on a free date with free food and free drinks and just use someone for that. They have to be properly interested to be willing to split it.

I should end this by saying I've actually had good experiences. Almost every First date i've been on the women has offered to split the bill. Sometimes i've offered to cover it all, And even had a women who offered and payed for a couple of the dates mine and her share. I know some people dont like being payed for they like to pay their half even if you offer.

But perhaps thats because im one of the younger generations and people are more used to splitting the bills. I mean we make the same money, do the same jobs, not like i have a ton of money to pay for both of us when they have their own money.

But i think in older generations i can certainly understand the old rule of the man paying, Because ofcourse until recently women werent allowed allowed to work and it wasnt socially acceptable, then obviously it'd make sense for the man to pay.

But i think in these new generations its quiet acceptable at my age to split the bill. I'd say about 60% of the women i've dated offer to split the bill, I probably ended up paying for about 50% out of choice.

In My opinion its a positive change for these changing times. Where people are looking for partners.

I mean on the dates i've been on where i was asked out and they set it all up. I went into it expecting to pay my half atleast. I would never have dreamed of expecting them to pay for me just because they asked me out.

This whole idea of them being ''Cheap'' by not offering to pay is stupid. Because then isnt the women being just as ''Cheap'' by not offering to pay aswell. I mean she has a job right ? She likes me right ? So why not pay to spend time with me ?

But as i said not a problem i encounter much thank god.

I mean someone offering to pay for it all should be a pleasent suprise and you should thank them. It shouldnt be something you expect. Expecting people to pay for you is just rude and bad manners in my book.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 177
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 6:40:09 PM
You're a pig. You don't have the sense or the class to suggest going dutch before the date? No, that would be too easy, & you love to cause unnecessary drama. Don't you have anything else to do? Is your life that pathetic & lonely?
You're an evil, deceiving, enraged little man. You hate women, so much, this is what you do in your spare time, you're so pitiful.
When you realize you're not going to get laid on this first & last date, you trick the woman into running up the bill.
You're a very sick individual. I hope it comes back to bite you in the azz. You're going to get yours. I hope I get to read about it, when it's time for you to be on the receiving end of an angry woman out for revenge.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 178
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 6:44:18 PM
You're a pig. You don't have the sense or the class to suggest going dutch before the date? No, that would be too easy, & you love to cause unnecessary drama. Don't you have anything else to do? Is your life that pathetic & lonely?
You're an evil, deceiving, enraged little man. You hate women, so much, this is what you do in your spare time, you're so pitiful.
When you realize you're not going to get laid on this first & last date, you trick the woman into running up the bill.
You're a very sick individual. I hope it comes back to bite you in the azz. You're going to get yours. I hope I get to read about it, when it's time for you to be on the receiving end of an angry woman out for revenge.


I have to ask, who in the world is that directed at?
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 179
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:03:54 PM
Obviously, that would be my response to OP. Duh!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 180
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:04:27 PM
"I have to ask, who in the world is that directed at?"

My belief would be the OP, although he is looooong gone! This thread was started 6 years ago, so I doubt he would care anyway. But I gotta tell ya, I REALLY get a kick out of the way women react to this.

Maybe I'm a little jaundiced, indifferent but they never seem to be half so upset when a man gets shafted, or taken advantage of.

Reread the last few pages again, women talking laughingly about guys buying them drinks and them accepting, then blowing them off, like they were nothing. Or bragging about how they used to do it with their friends when they were younger.

Let me ask you a question? It's been my experience, past a certain point, people don't really change, only modify their behavior a little. People I knew who were greedy, remained so, people who didn't care, learned to hide it better, but still didn't care.

If a woman is a bytch and user, would abuse a guy for drinks, do you REALLY think she would improve with age?

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 181
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 7:22:23 PM
Obviously, that would be my response to OP. Duh!


Did you notice the part where the OP said it wasn't his own experience? Or that it was posted in 2005?

Personally, I think it's a work of fiction.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 182
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 8:28:49 PM
The way the rule works:
YOU ask YOU pay. IF you dont want to pay DONT ASK. Just that simple.


Some women will state "who asks pays" because most of the time, a man asks a woman out. Therefore according to their logic, they would never or rarely have to pay on dates. Also a few women did ask me out. They never offered to pay the entire bill. I never expected them to either. Unless one person directly states that he ( or she ) will pay the entire bill, both people should be willing to pay their share of the bill. Without any resentment towards the other person.



If men feel so bitter/strongly about paying for a drink/dinner why not state in your profile that although you will ask a woman out, you don't intend to pay. Very simple, honest, and straight forward. No tricks!!!

That way only women who are truly interested in getting to know you on their own dime will date you. Basically eliminating gold diggers as you call them/us.


That works both ways. The women who expect men to pay the entire bill should put that on their profile. So they don't have to deal with "cheap", "inconsiderate" men who have the nerve to accept a woman's offer to split the bill.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 183
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 9:08:15 PM
grove, I'm sorry, some of what you said, just seems wrong.

The "who asks pays" is a ploy. It is the cheap womans way of justifying her actions. Since she will never ask, she will NEVER pay. Rare, very rare are the women who will pay the whole ride..that has only happened a very few times to me.

Far more often, women will ask, the few that do, and EXPECT you to go dutch.

I have heard a number of times, only happened once to me, that the woman asked and expected me or the guy to pay for the whole date. Now that's chutzpah!

The other point, "put it on your profile" is another cheap womans ploy. Makes it easy and efficient! If you email them and it clearly states you do dutch, they can eliminate you before they even read your note. The other issue is even the cheap women want a hot date!!!! So if he has the looks they may spring for an app, just to see what he has going on.

Also have you noticed something? Why is this issue about only men being inconsiderate? The only reason to consider him'inconsiderate' is if they are to cheap to spring for their own meal!!

Someday we will finally get this right! Somewhere, somehow it will become obvious that it has nothing to do with men, it's the women who won't go the hip who are cheap!

Hahahahahah!!
 Unaccounted_For
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 184
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:09:25 AM
(From another thread I posted in, didn't see this one)I have a girl that I am dating that always wants to go out, regardless of how much money I have. Problem is, it gets really expensive hanging out with her. Driving to her, buying drinks, but she doesn't seem to take no for an answer, and I try to suggest other venues that are less expensive, but she declines them all. I have spent almost 300 within the last week alone. I told her, we need to change up our going out routine, or we start splitting the bill. Never has she once opened her purse to pay for anything. I'm the one going broke here.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 185
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:21:04 AM
First date expectations pretty much tell what you are in for the long haul here. Come on when she wants flowers, dinner, movie them drinks on a first date - I say she is a user...
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 186
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:53:39 AM
Why do you spend so much money? Are you a serial dater?
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 187
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:58:28 AM
At my age its like being in a used car lot...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 188
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:03:49 AM
The "who asks pays" is a ploy. It is the cheap womans way of justifying her actions. Since she will never ask, she will NEVER pay. Rare, very rare are the women who will pay the whole ride..that has only happened a very few times to me.

Far more often, women will ask, the few that do, and EXPECT you to go dutch.


It's nice to know I'm rare.
I honestly don't know any women that are like this. Most of my friends and people I
know have no problem at all putting money down, paying for dates, paying for concerts, trips, etc. for themselves and their dates. And yes, we do ask...all the time.
I like going to concerts, shows, ballet, whatever. I buy tickets and I invite someone
to go with me. I also expect to pay for dinner on these dates, but have no problem if
someone wants to throw down a tip.

I pay whenever I ask ANYBODY to do anything. If I buy concert tickets, and invite
someone, I don't expect them to pay for the ticket...it's pretty simple for me. I've been
doing that all my life. Worked for me in high school, worked growing up, worked when I invited friends of my daughter's to go places with us.

I just don't see the big deal.
For me, this is an issue related strictly to online dating...this is the only place I've ever
seen this brought up.

Maybe it's the people others are hanging around with, I have no clue.
I just don't know these types of people.
 Unaccounted_For
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 189
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:18:11 AM
Why do you spend so much money? Are you a serial dater?


No, I'm not. This girl just had the nerve to ask me if I could borrow some money from a friend so we could hang out...I am livid. Well, that is pretty much the nail in that coffin. I'm like I spent 300 on you in the last week and we haven't even had sex, I could have just bought an escort for that much.

I mean, lets be honest. I wasn't in it for the sex, I was trying to get to know her better, but all she was doing was taking taking taking. I could have cut out all of that for one wild night or used that money for other things.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 190
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:14:42 AM

(From another thread I posted in, didn't see this one)I have a girl that I am dating that always wants to go out, regardless of how much money I have. Problem is, it gets really expensive hanging out with her. Driving to her, buying drinks, but she doesn't seem to take no for an answer, and I try to suggest other venues that are less expensive, but she declines them all. I have spent almost 300 within the last week alone. I told her, we need to change up our going out routine, or we start splitting the bill. Never has she once opened her purse to pay for anything. I'm the one going broke here.


The Patti Smyth song "Goodbye to You" started playing in my head.

 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 191
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:24:17 AM
Lol $14k a year on dating? That's pretty cheap, my entertainment/traveling budget is over twice that; and for the most part I am usually dining/traveling alone. A little under $300 a week for dating? Eh I've spent much more than that especially when taking into account vacations.

The thing that bugs me about the OP is that the lady probably had no idea how much each of her drinks were and the douche encouraged her to drink extremely expensive alcohol.

I get tired of picking up the tab as much as the next guy, that doesn't mean I'm going to encourage her to drink super expensive alcohol if she thinks it's on my tab but it really isn't.

But at the end of the day it's her fault for not clarifying who's paying and for drinking those expensive drinks, if the guy hints that he's paying for it AND encouraging her... well then that's a different can of worms.

Gotta love 6 year old threads being revived over and over, I wonder if it's the same posters or different posters constantly popping up really really old threads..

Really Smilingrock, you bring up a 6 year old thread to post, I would have understood if the post had been some kind of experience to discuss the thread topic.... How did you even find this thread that was last posted 6 years ago? :-p
"First post is precious"
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 192
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 11:25:32 AM
First, my compliments, and admiration for you boo!!

That is really how dating is supposed to work, it is the normal functioning of two normal people.

Again as I said, reread the last few pages about some of the womens attitude about conning guys out of drinks, when they are NOT interested in them. Usually on these threads, we get everyone posting their opinion, pro or con, rarely do we get people actually admitting to the behavior in question.

Yeah, old threads, can be tedious, people never look at the date and address the OP, long gone from the site. But in this case, I have enjoyed some of the antics, the hopping mad women, chastizing the now missing OP!

As for the guy who spent $300 for a week. A few things, for those boasting they spend more, more power to you. For this guy though it seems a hardship. Wouldn't it be great if we all could spend what we want, but that ain't how life works!

However, even if he could afford it, but it conflicted with his values and ideas of dating, does that make him wrong for not wanting to or her patent disregard for how he feels about it?

The real reason this thread is so important, is it graphically gets women angry and upset! The reactions viseral! Do you see any reactions, viseral or otherwise, when the women discussed the beating the guys out of drinks? Not to beat a dead horse, but they even commeserated with each other and mentioned doing the same with their girlfriends!

Sorry, if you think this guy was wrong, then the women should think that behavior was equally wrong, but not ONE condemned it.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 193
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:02:15 PM
Nice to know I'm still on the weird side of normal. It's been a very long time since I actually asked anyone out on a date, and when I did the asking, I did the paying. These days I'd prefer something easy like pizza or McDonald's. If your conversation can't impress me, there's no place you could take me that would change my opinion anyway.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 194
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:17:32 PM
OyVay said...

Again as I said, reread the last few pages about some of the womens attitude about conning guys out of drinks, when they are NOT interested in them.

I must have missed them...I went back to see...who said that..couldn't find it!!

Anyways...Ladies...Just be prepared to buy your own coffee, drinks and food.
I know...I always have and my friends do too!!
I totally think...the young ladies that are upset about the guy not willing to pay for anything.....may be in financial stress!
People in my age group....know better...I would hope!!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 195
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 3:12:32 PM
Sorry whisky, memory is failing and so is keeping all threads straight and where things were said!

The posts were NOT a couple of pages back, but posts 42,43,44. Still all the women read the OP, why not the thread? Even in context of the posts around them, no one seemed to care!
 bsl2786
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 196
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 4:07:50 PM
Good Grief, Walmart??!! Whatever happened to a nice guy asking out a nice girl for a drink. I NEVER pay on a first date/meet and greet whatever. I also NEVER expect to have more than 2 glasses of HOUSE wine, unless the "nice guy" offers to eat. It is rude to EXPECT a BIG evening, but certainly if a nice guy cannot bring himself to pay for a couple of inexpesive glasses of wine, he is obviusly not someone with whom I would like to make a connection. Ladies, pelase let the man show you some good old fashioned manners and pay for a drink or two. Men, did your mothers teach you nothing? If a second or third date follows, ladies can be creative about picking up the tab, but please, do not be crass about it, have some class!
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 197
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 4:41:09 PM
"Good Grief, Walmart??!!"

No honey, sorry that was the "WTF" thread, which is closed for review, walmart is not on here! I know it can be confusing, but try and keep up.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 198
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Posted: 2/29/2012 4:42:29 PM

bsl2786:
Whatever happened to a nice guy asking out a nice girl for a drink. I NEVER pay on a first date/meet and greet whatever. I also NEVER expect to have more than 2 glasses of HOUSE wine, unless the "nice guy" offers to eat. It is rude to EXPECT a BIG evening, but certainly if a nice guy cannot bring himself to pay for a couple of inexpensive glasses of wine, he is obviously not someone with whom I would like to make a connection. Ladies, please let the man show you some good old fashioned manners and pay for a drink or two. Men, did your mothers teach you nothing?


You know what, it's the 21sy century, you have your equal rights, a good paying job, and are not beholding to anyone. Why don't you act like a equal member of society? Try initiating the dating scene on your own. Don't wait for them to ask you out, you step up and take the chance of being shot down for a change. Why is it always the guy that has to put themselves out there to be shot down?

If you want it to be like the 50s again, blame your sisters who wanted to be the equals of men. It's not men's fault your living in a time of equal rights. Although I want all people to be treated equal in all ways. I don't want or need a subservient woman. I want an equal partner in life, like the one I had.

My Mother taught me to treat equals as equals, maybe yours taught you "Father knows best".
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 199
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 5:07:13 PM
Oh OK I'll play, but only because my pal blue seemed a bit harsh to me, even though he made some good points!

"Whatever happened to a nice guy asking out a nice girl for a drink."

Nothing and I myself never expect her too. That "NEVER" you use to describe your dating philosophy, is understandable given you learned to date in a different time and age.

To tell the truth though, as times change, with the advent of online dating/meeting. A change has come, for better or worse. Online your selection is wider and greater. A good number of women, have clearly seen the advantage of this. Gone are the days where you met IRL and had an idea of who that person was and is.

It's nothing now to meet 40 or 50 women and have dates with them over the course of a year or so. It gets really old really fast when you pay for all those dates and they lead nowhere. No I don't expect sex, or chemistry on all, just respect that works both ways.

Even if we assume, that you have 30 dates in a year,less than 3 a month with different women most of the time. Even if your house wine costs $6 a glass. With the tip it would cost at a minimum $25 a date. That's $750 for dating for a year, only paid for by the guy. The woman's obligation is zippity do dah!

I have zero problem paying for dates with wonderful women I can see dating or having a relationship with. He11 I have paid some outrageous amounts on dates. It's OK, it was my choice and I had a good time as well.

But trying to brow beat guys to pay, because you see that it's the only way you want it, seems to not take into consideration the guys outlook or opinion at all. I could pick apart the rest of your post and make a point, why bother? You would think me rude and selfish or whatever is in your head that justifies seeing things only from your perspective.

Please be careful though, "have some class" can evoke quite some statements that you would find harsh, as I did my pal blues.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 200
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 5:13:58 PM

I NEVER pay on a first date/meet and greet whatever


About that whole equality thing....I guess it only applies when you want it to apply eh?


Men, did your mothers teach you nothing?


Oh my mom taught me plenty, did yours?

My mom taught me not to be a walking doormat.

My mom taught me not to play games and to be to the point, no passive aggressive BS.

My mom taught me how to succeed in business.

Apparently the only thing your mom taught you was to never lift a finger on the first date because it's "crass".

I'll pick up the tab 99% of the time because I WANT TO, not because it's expected of me.

I appreciate everything my mom taught me, especially when it comes to having a damn backbone.
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