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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:47:44 PM | | It's free. What more could you ask for? And, I think it's just as valid an option of meeting people as any. Relationships started in other conventional ways fail all the time too. You can meet "freaks" in real life as well. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:25:28 AM | Your thread entitled You get what you pay for. has been deleted by the community, please read the rules to avoid getting your threads deleted
I had complained about the recent popup on POF. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 7:10:23 AM | | Ive been on here since March 2008 and have got a few nibbles and thats about it, i respond to all my msges and never here back. I am on other sites and get lots of responses, i am a non-payer but to me rather you pay or not does not matter, if you m eet somebody your going to meet them regardless, its a numbers game, ive met some good men on these sites, we were not compatible, I try be positive and beleive there's someone out there for everyone, sometimes the timing isnt right. I am in no hurry if it happens that will be great but if not, i will never lose hope in finding him. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:21:20 AM | luvred1952 ^^^ For heaven's sake hun... have more than the Glamour Shot photo or take it down, or you will continue to get only a 'few nibbles'. Really, when a gal puts up one of those and nothing else... EVERYone wonders "what's up with that?". It comes across as a 'fake' picture and could make people feel that more may be fake about the profile. Just my 2 cents about glamour shots only.
This site did nothing for me I put my vote on the plus side, not the negative.
No, I have not met any men to date beyond the first meeting... and yes, it seems instant sexual activity is high on many of their agendas... but OH WELL!
It's very wise in life to just let the "oh well" things roll off your back and not let them adversely influence the mind.
I have one major "strike against" me when it comes to 'dating sites'... being in a wheelchair due to an accident.
My attitude towards my chair? Oh well. 
My attitude towards other people seeing it as a negative against me? Oh well.
And life goes on. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:00:34 AM | | I just became a member of POF and I think that it is incredibly narrow minded to believe this site has nothing to offer. If you are not willing to take the time to get to know the people who respond, and weed those out that are not compatible with you, you should just walk away now. Don't bother getting on here too whine. Frankly, no one wants to hear it. And for anyone who has a problem with an individual speaking to more than one respondant at a time, you need to check yourself. If you are having issues like this, you may want to consider getting some couseling. It is obvious that you have some self esteem issues of your own that need to addressed before you get involved with anyone else. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:03:05 PM |
I think for myself I might join match.com or lavalife as there is some truth to the fact that there won't be as many "SPECIAL PEOPLE" on those sites because they are paying sites and people think twice before they fork over their hard earned bucks and besides the married ones usually won't be on those sites in droves because their wives probably read the credit card statements.
Ottawagirlie and anyone else who thinks the paying sites will offer some sort of guarantee of quality because people had to part with money to be there: Every dating site I know of has members who have paid NOTHING to be there--just like here. The paying sites offer a mixture of paying and nonpaying members; many times you can't tell which is which. I think the frustration level may actually be higher at those sites, because communication is usually deliberately made difficult between the two types since they want you to pay.
No guarantees, anywhere. But POF has provided me with WAY more fun, via the forums and the folks I've met through various threads, than any other such site, paid or not. It's also led me to dates now and then, some of them great and some of them eh, not so much--but all of them fodder for stories, thought, poems... Not bad for free!
--Ms. Flis | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:46:18 PM | | Once again Ms Flis has nailed it. There are no guarantees in life, whether you meet someone through a friend or on a dating site, your chances are the same....just go with it. No harm no foul. Just chose wisely thats all anyone can do. Besides I would miss the forums way too much. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:10:33 PM | | Well now ,you moniker yourself as sexygrama ,then preach about oh wanting a man to explore your inner feelings and how a proper woman you are, give it a rest maybe you should clean up your own garbage before putting down others .Of course IQ and typing do have nothing in common | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 5:25:00 PM | I've tried them all. EHarmony, Match.com, Yahoo Personals...paid and free and it's all the same result. A bunch of nothing. It's mostly all the same people on all the sites...except you can't really tell with EHarmony. My experience has been that men my age (46) are looking for someone half their age that looks great in a bikini. The men that are interested in me, I'm just not interested in. I take care of myself. Don't smoke or drink and I try to stay slim and in shape and I'm pretty active. It seems the guys that have contacted me are very overweight and don't seem to have a lot of interests that are similar to mine. Don't get me wrong...some of those men are probably very nice men but I just don't think we'd be compatible if I'm eating healthy and exercising while they're packing on the pounds. I've been trying this on-line dating deal for nearly a year and have had absolutely no luck at all. I'm just about to give up. It's not that I need a man in my life because I don't. It would just be nice to have someone off the opposite sex to share life with, do things with, laugh with, etc. I wonder if it's me but my friends say no. I think I'm a decent catch...I'm independent, have a good job/career, I'm not needy, and I'm not horrible looking. I just don't get it. I guess it's just not time for me. I've been single for a couple of years and have really enjoyed it so I guess I'll just stay that way until it's meant to be.
Good luck to all of you! | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 8:02:52 PM |
I've tried them all. EHarmony, Match.com, Yahoo Personals...paid and free and it's all the same result. A bunch of nothing. It's mostly all the same people on all the sites...except you can't really tell with EHarmony. My experience has been that men my age (46) are looking for someone half their age that looks great in a bikini. The men that are interested in me, I'm just not interested in. I take care of myself. Don't smoke or drink and I try to stay slim and in shape and I'm pretty active. It seems the guys that have contacted me are very overweight and don't seem to have a lot of interests that are similar to mine. Don't get me wrong...some of those men are probably very nice men but I just don't think we'd be compatible if I'm eating healthy and exercising while they're packing on the pounds. I've been trying this on-line dating deal for nearly a year and have had absolutely no luck at all. I'm just about to give up. It's not that I need a man in my life because I don't. It would just be nice to have someone off the opposite sex to share life with, do things with, laugh with, etc. I wonder if it's me but my friends say no. I think I'm a decent catch...I'm independent, have a good job/career, I'm not needy, and I'm not horrible looking. I just don't get it. I guess it's just not time for me. I've been single for a couple of years and have really enjoyed it so I guess I'll just stay that way until it's meant to be.
This is one of the more honest and reasonable posts I've seen in this topic, and pretty spot on, too. It's pretty much a "hit and miss" deal for a lot of us. Yeah, someone may "look nice" but they aren't compatible, or someone might be compatible, but the physical attraction isn't there. Happens "in real life", too. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some results after a year, but at the same time you have to understand your own demographics and the people who are within your picking area. If you live around a huge metro area (Atlanta, Chicago, LA, etc.), yeah, you're going to have a better lot to choose from and probably find someone fairly quick. If you live in the stick s and are 50 miles from the nearest form of civilization, well, the pickings are kind of slim, right? Everything's relative.
I don't think it really matters what site you're on; here, Yahoo!, Match.com, etc. I really believe it's all about timing, patience, and persistence. If you don't have a combination of all three, it's going to be rough. I believe that if you stick around long enough, you'll find someone compatible, but even with that said, I think it's unreasonable for people to stick to one site exclusively in hopes of finding someone. There are a ton of options out there and you really need to scope out as many of them as you can whether you fork out some dough or not. By casting such a "wider net" you have a better chance of finding the one for you.
But that's my philosophy. You can take from it what you wish. :) | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:25:24 PM | A lot of you say "must be physically compatible", but you are no great specimen yourselves. I think you want to date "up". Your real issue is that you are emotionally stunted. Sorry, but true. Here is some advice for you.
STOP TURNING DOWN DATES ON APPEARANCES. I have dated in the range of very attractive women to what one may describe as less than average. At least they started out that way. But my Mind's Eye takes over very quick. A less than average girl may turn out to be a blast. Maybe she is funny, intelligent, down-to-earth. Maybe she treats a guy right. Maybe she has the greatest personality in the world. And funny thing is, after a short time, if I reevaluate her looks, I find out she has become quite attractive. Beautiful. Hot!! And on the opposite end, I have drooled over a woman only to find out by the end of the night, I can't stand to look at her. She was ****y, stuck up, and stupid. And in my eyes, she has become physically ugly.
If you are complaining about unattractive people on these sites, maybe you just need to reach a higher level of emotional maturity. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:47:51 PM | ^^ you summed it up pretty good there but again too much emphasis on the importance and preoccupaton with looks; either way it's putting the emphasis on the physical (which we all do). There is a common thought that people think so-called good-looking people are snotty and stuck up...it really depends on what you think is good-looking.
For every Jack there is a Jill. :) | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:07:46 AM |
If you are complaining about unattractive people on these sites, maybe you just need to reach a higher level of emotional maturity.
FWIW, physical attraction is both a) subjective and b) relative to the individual. You can't sit there and tell anyone with a straight face that if you find someone visually repulsive that you'll go on a date with them. Everyone has their own standards for beauty, and what's unrealistic and unreasonable to you is not to someone else. My own personal definition of beauty probably isn't in line with a lot of people's definitions, but, hey, that's what makes the world go round.
Let me put it this way - if you can't bring yourself to eat sushi, will you order it from a restaurant? I know I won't. However, I will not scoff or sneer at those who order sushi. Again, taste is dependent on the individual. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:22:21 AM | Karl, you're a chameleon and a snake. From message 75 to 140 you did go from Shallow Hal to Dr Phil. I still believe in honesty and good humor (not the ice cream) as being the best way to get results on PoF. But I admire you're confession in #75 that you turned into a used Karl salesman and hid all the defects to make a sale. Women will get what they fall for, if deep down the guy is good and they can reach that then I guess it's all good.
And if sexygrama isn't sexy, then I guess I have never seen a sexy grandma. Brain better check his own profile for sentence structure and spelling. I think it's time to finally turn that brain on and buy some larger underwear, the ones he's wearing are obviously riding up and making him a tad grumpy. You go grams. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:49:04 AM | | Well, if u r just gonna sit back and wait for women to contact you maybe... Be assertive! I have never gotten anything in life unless I persued it..never by sitting back waiting for it to come to me! Go get 'em tiger! You might be pleasantly suprised with the response... | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:48:09 PM | I just sit here and listen to guys whine, and if you don't want to get any, that is fine. But you don't realize you are your own worst enemy.
brian_nc, you are no great physical specimen.Would you like to be turned down for it? If you had a good looking date and I bumped into you guys in a bar, I'd steal her. And really, how many women out here are you saying fit your "repulsive" category? I'm not finding these "repulsive" women. Are they just avoiding me? So instead of comparing these women to raw fish, maybe you'd be better off comparing them to people.
I have no problem admitting I am what most would call a "player". I do know how to attract the ladies and how to have a rich sex life. You can use the same knowledge to find long term relationships if you want, if you still believe in them. What you should be picking up on, though, is that no matter what you are looking for, you can choose to sit behind your computer and whine, or you can date. At least its practice. And maybe some of you would pick up a friend. After all, your average woman has some friends, maybe they'd be more attractive to you.
Last, and this is very important. I do not lead anyone on. I tell every woman that I am dating in the broadest sense. While I may be on my best behavior and accentuating my good side, I do not outright lie. If you did lie, you'd get caught. Most of my dates are NOT one nite stands. They come back. They CHOOSE to sleep with me and unless they are fooling themselves, they know I am not monogamous and will not be monogamous. They stick around because I treat them good, plain and simple.
You will never hear me advocate intentionally hurting any woman. I don't change my skin at any time. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 2:22:02 PM |
brian_nc, you are no great physical specimen. Would you like to be turned down for it?
I think you read a little too much into what I wrote. I never said I was anything special nor have I been the one tooting my own horn in this thread, either. I have probably been turned down because of my looks on more than a few occasions and there's nothing I can do about that, really, but I don't pout about it nor cry foul. It's a part of life. I deal with it and move on.
If you had a good looking date and I bumped into you guys in a bar, I'd steal her.
You could try, and if you were successful, so be it. It's not like I'd try to take you outside and "fight for my honor." I'm not a caveman. I'm a lover, not a fighter. 
And really, how many women out here are you saying fit your "repulsive" category? I'm not finding these "repulsive" women. Are they just avoiding me?
Well then you, sir, are a gentleman who finds everyone an equal. Congratulations. I do not find anyone "repulsive" myself, and perhaps that was a poor choice of words, but there are some people that just don't pass my eye test, much like I don't pass theirs, I'm sure. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion...even you. I was simply stating that everyone has their own definition of "good looking" and "beautiful". Nothing more, nothing less. We live in a subjective world. It is what it is.
So instead of comparing these women to raw fish, maybe you'd be better off comparing them to people.
And I'm not comparing anyone to raw fish. It was a little something called "an analogy." Perhaps in your effort to "be more the salesman" you lost a few brain cells in the transition. I was simply stating an observation. You've stated yours a few times, right?
As for the rest of your post, if you were referring to me, I don't remember whining or anything like that. I don't whine. That's not my nature. And as far as you having an awesome sex life, good for you. Do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on? I could care less what your sexual conquests are. My goal on here is not to sleep with any and all women I talk to, but if that's yours, then, well, more power to you there Casanova. I know, what kind of a man does that make me, right?
As an aside, whether you think I'm repulsive or "not a great physical specimen" means nothing to me. Frankly, you're not my type. Sorry.  | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 2:27:53 PM | We are always looking for the perfect relationship. the goal is to find that perfect someone who will make our lives a better place to be.
IT IS UNFORTUNATE WE DON'T REALIZE PERFECTION RUNS TO WAYS IN OTHER TO FIND THE PERFECT somebody, we must believe that, whatever perfect is , we have already achieved it... NO ONE CAN GIVE US WHAT WE DON'T ALREADY HAVE... Mr or Ms right CANNOT BE TO US WHAT WE ARE NOT. If we are unhappy, unfulfilled, not pleased about who we are, we owe it to ourselves to stop looking. We have to ask our self this question: WOULD I MARRY ME? AM I DOING MY BEST, GIVING MY ALL, BEING THE BEST I CAN TO BE MYSELF? IF not , why we are pawning our self off on someone else. we need to take time to do some homework on self-love
self-esteem and self confidence. When we can pass the test of self acceptance, the perfect someone will compliment all that we already are will make right through the door | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 3:10:13 PM | Let me put it this way. This can be good and bad.
The good is that you can find someone with your interests plus what you are looking for and get a better understanding about that person through chat's and e-mail's rather than just dating. I find the essay's are important, more than the picture.
The bad, Well,...sometimes it can seem like a competition and you find someone and another comes along which can be discouraging to others. Expectations can be set too high. Lastly, some people, not everybody, can be fake or player's.
It's what you put into it that makes it work. No complaints here! | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:33:34 PM | Brian_NC
You are the perfect example of why some guys just don't do well here, even with your mom's glowing recommendation on your profile. | |
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| This site did nothing for me
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:27:35 PM | Well, sucks to be me, Karl, doesn't it? Maybe I need some of your "professional advice." Wait, forget it, I don't want it. I'm happy "wallowing in my own misery and whining." 
And FYI genius, that's not my mom. I think my mom has known me longer than 10 years, but your math might be different than mine. I don't know. Anyhow, have fun doing what you do and I'll have fun doing what I do. :) | |
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