| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/16/2009 6:39:25 PM | This song describes it too well:
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/16/2009 6:46:50 PM | | The simple answer: No, I no longer have any of those fantasies of believing in love. - forget it. The sooner we all deal with reality, the better off we all will be. | |
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tmotts
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Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 278 | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:21:25 PM | | I will believe in it when I see and experience it. Until then, I will see it for what it is - a fairy tale. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/19/2009 10:29:05 PM | I WAS MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS TO A DECENT MAN(WHEN YOU SAY "ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN"-ARE YOU SURE THEIR GOOD? AS YOU PROBABLY CAN TELL I HAVE A BITTER TASTE IN MY MOUTH REGARDIN"LOVE". I DATED A MAN THAT PEOPLE TOLD BOTH OFUS HOW LUCKY WE WERE THAT WE "HAD" EACH OTHER. UNBENONST TO ME HE HAD SOMEONE ELSE TOO. AND EVERYONE WHO TOLD ME WE WERE LUCKY TO HAVE EACH OTHER AND CAME TO HIS SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY AT VALENCIA GARDENS-NOT CHEEP AND I'M NOT RICH, KNEW TOO.
I WAS SO HURT I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE FROM THE EMOTIONAL PAIN. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN, STOMPED ON AND SPIT OUT. I KNOW PART OF ME DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE UP ON LOVE BUT THE BIGGER PART DOESN'T EVER WANT TO FEEL THAT PAIN AGAIN-UNLESS I'M THE ONE INFLICTING IT. I KNOW THAT IS SO WRONG TO FEEL THAT WAY, BUT IT JUST IS.
SO, YES YOU COULD SAY I DON'T BELIEVE IN "LOVE". I BELIEVE I LOVE MY BROTHER'S, MY SISTER'S, MY BEST GIRLFRIEND'S AND I LOVED MY PARENTS. THERE WAS NO DOUBT IM MY HEART THAT THEY LOVE ME TOO. THAT'S THE KIND OF LOVE I BELIEVE IN, THE OTHER "LOVE" IS ONLY TEMPORARY UNTIL SOMETHING BETTER, YOUNGER, RICHER COMES ALONGI KNOW THIS SOUNDS AWFUL BUT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ONE TO SHOOT FROM THE HIP-HONEST. SCARY ISN'T IT? | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/19/2009 11:54:43 PM | Having experienced love and the heartache that comes when it goes, I still have faith in love. I'll take the good with the bad. People these days treat love like it's some type of business deal. There is no gurantee that it will last but you can't live your life afraid of that or of getting hurt. There is nothing like being in love with someone and them loving you in return. Everything seems better, even sex is better with love.
I know dating can sometimes be a daunting process but you just can't give up on the possibility. I'm sure I'll find that love again. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/20/2009 12:13:10 AM | | Eventhough I've gone through a lot and say I can never love again, something happens and I end up eating my words!!! To me there's always hope!!! | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:45:25 AM | I do believe in love, absolutely, but not the kind of fairy-tale romantic movie puppy-love you're talking about, iz. That's 20-something ideology, yes, brought about by sappy "happily-ever-after" movies. Take it from this over-35 "grandpa"--that's the initial infatuation/lust/courship phase.
I do, however, believe in friendship that grows and deepens and expands. Two people have to adapt and be pliable and acquiesce to each other and it takes continual work in the form of communication to try and understand each other's changing minds, souls and bodies. But, once you find that comfort zone in a conversation with a guy who matches the physical package you have in your head, you'll know it, and the work won't feel like work but will be as natural as breathing.
Try to find a comfort zone in a coversation. It doesn't matter WHAT you talk about, just that there's mutual interest, a similar emotional tone, and you like listening to the other's voice. When you're old and wrinkled, sex is sporadic if even existent, or even while you're still young and sex has fizzled, this is what will be left while you're sharing a cup of coffee over a breakfast table. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:59:16 PM | | Love conquers all, but real love is something you only get once in a lifetime, sure you can love someone but that doesn't mean its true love...humans are social creatures, they can 'love' someone for a lot of reasons, fulfilling their basic needs, keeping them company, being similar...a lot of things. Anyway, when you find the one you're meant to be with it will be different and I'm guessing will come randomly, from the stories I've heard from old couples/widows/widowers..the great majority of them met their partner totally out of the blue lol, so its something to think about at least. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:11:59 PM | IM STARTING TO LOOSE FAIGHT IN LOVE
I CONSIDER MYSELF AND I KNOW IM A GOOD WOMAN INDEPENDABLE HARD WORKING AND A GOOD MOM. I NOTICE THAT IM TOO NICE OR TOO CARING.
I CANT REALLY SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY BECAUSE OF THE JOB I HAVE AND CERTAIN THINGS ARE CONFEDENCIAL ..........I WISH I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF ........BUT WHAT IM TRYING TO GET ACROSS IS THAT WHY THIS HAPPENS TO ME IF IM NOT A PLAYER , IM HONEST, I TREAT A MAN THE WHY I WOULD WANT A MAN TO TREAT ME WITH RESPECT, HONESTY AND TO CARE THE SAME WHY I WOULD CARE FOR HIM................NOW DAYS THERE ARE NOT TO MANY OUT THERE ..................KNOW IM IN THE I DONT CARE MOOD AND I KNOW IS NOT RIGHT ....................BUT I JUST CARE............I DONT HAVE IN LOVE..................... | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:19:37 PM | | I do believe that love does exist in this world to a few individuals but in my case no such thing exist in hope for me to obtain such thing just because i have this feeling that i will not be able to find it. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:05:14 PM | | Oddly enough, I'd like to quote Fox Mulder on this one in regards to my feelings on the matter. "Let's just say, I want to believe." I want to have faith in love, believe in it's supposed power, but, my rational thinking is telling me again and again, it's just a pipe dream. A dream that comes from the hearts and minds of fiction writers. Love is no more real to me than being able to fly, warp speed, aliens. I'd like to think they're all possible, and some are more so than others. Love is something so mysterious that, so far as I am concerned, isn't worth the little iota of faith I have left. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/21/2009 10:00:18 PM |
Do you still have faith in love?
Part of me really, really doesn't want to. It would be so easy to write love off as a foolish, childish dream and pursue safer bets be it sex or simple companionship.
But I refuse...
I refuse to let my fear get the upper hand and make a coward of me. I refuse to settle for relationships without total trust and faith. I refuse to settle for anything less than all-consuming love.
It came easy as teenagers not because we were stupid, but because our hearts were open to the possibility. Then came our first in a series of heartbreaks and many of us, myself included, didn't ever want to hurt like that again. So after each heartbreak we offered up less and less of ourselves, scratching our heads and wondering why we are unfufilled.
Well no more I say.
Nothing ventured is nothing gained and if I have to pick myself back up and put it all on the line from now till I'm 80, so be it. I can live with getting my heart broken and even dying alone having never found my true love. What I can't live with is knowing I could have done more or tried harder but didn't out of fear. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:28:29 AM | | no i dont believe in love no more!its not easy to find mr rite if exist....the fact is dat after a lot of delutions i dont trust on man.i really hope dat someone help me to have faith! | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:46:53 PM | You know I felt the same way until I met the most wonderful man on this site. He was the same age as me, mature and done with playing games. He wasn't the emotional type (what man is?? lol) and that was the only thing that concerned me when it came to him. We hit it off instantly and because I was scared to get in a relationship, I kept dating others before putting my eggs in one basket. He made it clear he wanted to be with me and made a commitment to me.
It was great while it lasted, however little did I know my insecurities from previous relationships were affecting us. He never vocalized it to me until the day we broke up, but looking back I should've known. And to tell you the truth, looking outside of the situation I'm not as insecure as I came off to be. Truth is, I liked him so much that I guess deep down, I didn't know how to be in a good relationship; I was only familiar with bad ones.
Of course, I wish that we could work out but who knows? I mean, I'm glad he told me and made a stance because it actually allowed me to recognize what the problem was and made me appreciate him more. Sure I was upset the night of, but now I will never have my past or any negative thoughts get in the way of my happiness with someone. Its not fair and he was right about that, but he was wrong about thinking that I wasn't over my past or that I was impatient. Sometimes when you're over the moon, you don't know how to deal with it and that's what happened with me.
I believe he is still the greatest man and I wish him all the happiness in the world. He is truly rare and special. I have now vowed to continuously be positive no matter what! Things always work out the way they're supposed to and I hope to at least have him as a friend in my life.
So the point is... you can't give up. I did give up and because of that, I ruined the best relationship I ever had (unintentionally of course). I won't do that again. It is out there but its all about opening yourself up and leaving the hurt behind. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 4/23/2009 7:31:05 AM | Hello Zhang:
I hope that you have faith in love, but not just on this site. The attitude you show to others is very important too, which determines what kind of man you are attracting to. Young girl like you would always like to experience and test the water, but be careful. Anyway, I don't think wearing a bikini and showing your body can attract "love" in the first place. It is just my personal idea, not offensive. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/24/2009 11:29:56 PM | Update
I believe it's all about making the right connection with a person who shares a lot with you in terms of attitude, values and things of real importance. Just this week I found a person that does not like to argue. Wow! I finally made that connection.
We went out tonight. Had a fun time riding around and talking. Our minds and hearts are so close in so many ways. We simply have very few differences.
I'm very pleased. We decided to go forward and spend more time together. I can already see how we complement one another and lend strength. It was a very pleasant night. The next few weeks should reveal the future for us.
Ken | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:14:17 AM | | I believe love is just an idea we created to justify what we do. I think it's very possible to love someone, yet to be "in" love is something completely different. How do you know the difference? You never can really tell. Sometimes you just have to wait it out. I don't believe in "love" as something real, but i believe it's an aspect no human being can ignore. even if it's not some real we build a foundation on it. What we never see is the inevitable breaking of that foundation. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:45:22 AM | Love is indeed very real and is quite obtainable. The problem is that we as a society have lost ourselves and have allowed our collective pretentiousness to cloud who we really are as individuals. We are blasted daily with marketing campaigns telling us “we deserve only the very best,” or whatever condition or situation we find ourselves in is “never our fault.” Our entertainment bombards us with shallow ideals of beauty while making a mockery of the most rudimentary of human needs… love. We stuff our faces with popcorn while submerging ourselves in garbage reality shows like “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire,” “The Bachelor” and the list goes on. We TiVo shows like “Friends,” “You How I Met Your Mother,” or “Two and a Half Men” where sex based, fast-food, lust driven relationships are depicted as not only acceptable, but normal.
Love is becoming less common because relationships fail, miserably. I believe that relationships fail because people enter their relationships for the wrong reasons. Think what you wish, you’re entitled to, but I believe relationships fail because people are so consumed with the physical they intentionally neglect that which is most important – compatibility, honesty, loyalty. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Instantly attracted to each other physically, and in an effort to gain favor with the other, they both project themselves as who they think the other wants them to be. Over time their true selves come to light and they both realize that neither is who they said they were, so the relationship ends, and the cycle continues –with actual love never entering into the equation.
Not only have we, collectively, become more shallow, we’ve become much more selfish. It seems that anymore the main question people ask themselves (when considering a partnership with someone) isn’t “What kind of relationship can I have with this person,” but rather “What can I get from this person?” With that type of self-serving mindset, which again I believe is pretty much the norm anymore, any relationship is doomed to fail before it even starts – and once again – love never enters the scene.
But, despite the doom and gloom I’ve discussed above, love is still very real. It is out there. Finding it takes effort, time and patients. Being honest with yourself and what you truly want in life. It requires taking the time to build a solid relationship based on honesty, communication, compatibility, and trust. The problem is we want what we want now, and if we’re not “feeling it” within 20 seconds after the first hello we’re quick to dump and run to the next potential failure. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:17:30 AM | (makes note to self) Stay away from any and all profiles and women that gave up in faith in love.
I will never give up hope and faith in love. Without love, I'd just as soon lay down and die today.
As with anything, age, maturity and experiences, love may change. Love may even change me or the one I find it with. I recently had my heart ripped right out of me. I know of no other pain as painful as losing someone you love or loved. But I will never give up on all that love has to offer. It's the giving, the caring, the sharing and the rewards are simply to gain exactly the same in return. Young or old, I think we all need and want love. It's normal human nature. To me, it's not normal to shun it. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/25/2009 5:50:22 AM | For a long time I didnt.
I just recently lost my best friend. I have always beena firm beliver in people come into your life for a reason.
I had been cheated on and lied to so much that I was loosing faith in men. Jimmy and I worked together ( not in the same state) and thats how we became friends. His wife up and left him one day and he was completely devasted by it. What I then learned and got from him was that there are plenty of men who truley love and are in love with their wive and will be faithful and committed to them.
Jimmy died on May 20th 2009. and I havent really taken it all too well, and recently I met a really nice guy and last night during our talks it turned to what I learned from Jimmy and I just cried and this man listened to me and really made what Jimmy had taught me come to life that sometimes letting someone mourn a loss of a friend makes you a better friend also and then there is that renewing faith in guys that there really are some good guys out ther you just have to look or wait for them to find you...
In loving memory of James Simcox 3/3/77 - 5/20/09  | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 6/25/2009 6:20:35 PM | Tonia,
You have received some very precious gifts to help you walk the right path. Do remember that it's not a man/woman thing when it comes to badness, heartbreak and such. It's all about maturing and adopting the right values. Go see what cinsav had to say. These days, we've got to travel through a swamploand full of filth, snakes, gators and critters. That's a figure of speech just to say, let's get though it without forgetting that people were created for one another. We just have to learn to treat others right. So, when looking for a good match make sure that you treat others well and that will attract the best people for you. Otherwise, you're stuck in the swamp with all the evil beasts and horrors to boot.
Ken
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