kay_el
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Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 51 | |
| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/15/2008 10:39:36 PM | | Yes I do, all I have to do is go over to my best friends house for Sunday breakfast and see how happy her and her man are together, I know plenty of couples actually who are very in love, though I don’t think any of them would ever say that it was a fairy tale, we do not live in never never land, so nothings the way we envision it from watching movies, but yes love is out there, for those who know how to love back. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/15/2008 10:48:31 PM | | in full honesty.. im afraid ill die never to see love... ever... im afraid ill die a tormented soul in the abyss that i was put on to suffer like the rest... im losing hope on everything, it's no wonder people do heavy drugs and alcohol.. im afraid ill be them myself.. it's only a matter of time now... :( | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 7:16:36 AM | So I read the entire thread and the results shocked me.
Almost all of the male posters believe in love.
Almost all of female posters over the age of 35 believe in love, and I join them in their belief.
Very few women under the age of 35 believe in love.
And I always thought that young women were the romantics! It seems that an incredibly high percentage have been disillusioned. Speaking from experience...love does exist and I can't wait to find it again! | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 12:29:02 PM | | To the poster who said we should go to the 3 partner rule....THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! Are you frikin serious?! Think about that one for a sec... The first one is the one you have kids with...then the ones between I think you said 32-35, and then the one you spend the rest of your life with? You didnt even put into account the fact that if you think like that, your kids wouldnt have a stable home from the very start! Good theory...idiot. Oh, and let me guess, It isnt up to the kids on whether or not they are born into a happy family...Well, I guess your right if you think that, but it also puts heartache into the childrens lives once they are born and would that be fair to them...HELL NO! And if your going to ask, yes, this rant against this poster does have to do with the kids and nothing else. I am so tired of people forgeting about the children when it comes to life altering decisions. Its understandable if your unhappy in your marrige. Then I can see the whole divorce thing. But the idiots out there who would think like that dont deserve children. Heres another one for you. If you dont have the love of your children, do you think its ok to get it from someone else? What if your children didnt show you love because you chose your happiness over theres? Who is the one that suffers more? Your children thats who. Thats what is wrong with todays society...love and marriage isnt taken as serious anymore. Its all about getting laid and finding someone who can support they lifestyle they want. Like I said earlier in this post...Yes, I do believe in love, but when I see an idiot post like the one I just vented about, it makes me wonder how long love is even going to be a word if people start thinking like him/her | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 12:42:36 PM | I thought about this question, and I do still have faith in love. In the love I'm able to give, at least. Why? How? .. Not sure, exactly. I guess it's because it exists inside me, so I find it difficult to not have faith in it, as it already is.. As to how and when it will manifest itself outwards .. I don't know. But the faith is there.
If the question was do I have faith in someone else's love? Or their ability to share it with me? I'd have to say that yes, the faith is there but not sure about the timing, and circumstance. So I don't think about it too much. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 12:49:35 PM | No, OP, I don't.
Did once but got pooped on from a great height for a very long time and I've not come across anyone I'd be willing to 'go for it' with since. Everyone seems as cynical as the rest of us are! | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 3:46:25 PM | I know lots of couples in love. What bothers me is that many have a long pattern of choosing the same type of person, refusing to see who they really are, getting hurt or cheated on, then saying all women are cheaters or all guys are dogs.
Take responsibility for your choices. If you choose good people, look at their actions and not just their words. Choose someone with character and not just for looks and physical attraction and money; things will go a lot better for you and many others.
Love is just fine; the choices people are making are far from fine. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 8:14:48 PM | well its not true thats what I belive in. Thats only how I feel at the moment.
Actually I don't think i'll be able to hold it back if I do meet the right person, how can I not fall in love if I meet the guy I could love?
But while I was always willing to give out my heart, they always willing to break it, then I started wondering whether I shall give it out again, or at least not before knowing it may work?
It's definitely not true opportunities are all around me. Honestly I don't get to meet guys often since I don't go out partying, not a habit and not a thing in our culture. I work independently so only people I meet are from work. Also I work hard and I would prefer to stay in watching a movie on my own after work than sitting in a bar.
Maybe some day situation will change, maybe it's not time yet. BUt certainly I dont want to just be with a guy because I feel lonely at night, only reason I would be with him is that I feel that way, haven't met a guy I feel that way for a long long time. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 8:54:52 PM | Sadly, no...I was in love once, to a very wonderful woman. Since she died, not so lucky. Maybe I've used all my love up | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 9:31:23 PM | LOVE IS AN ACTION....
It takes time to establish "true" love....when I see an older couple, esply when they are smiling and happy with each other, I think there is "true love". When I see an older couple, esply when they are bickering and arguing with each other, I think there is "true love".
True love is there for the duration.....
And YES! I definitely believe in TRUE LOVE!
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/16/2008 10:10:42 PM | | Yes, I have faith in love. I also know it doesn't solve everything. And relationships are fragile. And I've had to break up with someone (or they broke up with me) I loved. A few times. But being in love is still a beautiful thing. But it can't be the answer to everything. Relationships take a lot more than that. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:49:40 PM | | I feel the same way u do! Currently I have no faith in finding a love like that. That is the kind of love I want and need. I want what I see on tv. Not really sure it exists anymore. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/17/2008 8:11:46 PM | | love is always possible. It took me a long time to learn how to really love. I learned alot of things in the prosess. It's not about what you want. It's about what is best for the other person. Sometimes what is best is not what you want. Hence most breakups. But just because you break up doesn't mean you never loved the other person , just wasn't the right time or place. I've had it happen to me and I still have faith in love. I have faith that the right one will come along, maybe not tomarrow but he will come. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 9:54:44 AM | Honesty and Romance is what makes True Love between a man and a woman a real possibility.
Two individuals who are true to themselves can very easily be true to each other and thats what makes true love possible and last a lifetime.well that and many other things,such as compatibility,communication ,being a passionate and good lover.
Find someone who can be real and honest and true to you and rocks your world and makes you drip with desire and visa -versa,and from there fill in the rest of the blanks together.
Be true and stay true to yourself and dont fall for a falsely baited hook.
Tina Turner song --WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT--? I agree with her,love has very little to do with it ,however TRUE LOVE has alot to do with it.
If its not 100% true then it is most likely false and will fail in time,but if both are true it may just stand the test of time. But no guarnatees in life or love its just that the odds are much better with the truth. So stay true to yourself and stay positive,makes everyones odds much better. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:21:57 AM | Yes I do believe in Love. But, I also believe in reality. For example; if someone lives 200miles away and I can only see them once a month, then that doesn't fullfill my wants / needs, or perhaps they have too much drama in their lives, or what if you really like someone but realize you can't work with them to meet any goals (commonalities), or you don't want to sponsor someone who lives in another country. There are numerous realities that are going to have an affect on love. So I may love that person to death but reality says "it's not gonna' work dude, move on".
Remember something important, love is not a feeling it's an action word, love means loving as in doing things. How much do you want to love someone? Would you jump off a cliff for them? I think not. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:28:11 AM | Bonniecat13, I'm with you.... yes love can be rough, especially when it ends. But I still believe at MY AGE that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... Yes it hurts but its worth it in most cases.  | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:52:55 AM | Greetings Jarbarian, Not sure if its a good thing to still see you on a dating site as opposed to elsewhere LOL so instead I'll day good to see you looking healthy and in good spirits :), hopefully all is well for you.
As to the topic again I keep reading the same complaints from the women and sometimes the men but it really comes to a couple of truths people still don't want to face in themselves. It's ironically similar to the topics Jarbarian and I were "famous" for sparing over in the "ole days".
"Men are just looking for sex" answer No they aren't the men YOU are choosing to interact with are and in that is all the difference. Its your criteria that is putting you in the situation because they play by your rules. If you put the physical appearence criteria as the high or highest factor then you are choosing sex. Physical appearence doesn't serve a purpose in relationships really it doesn't show the measure of a provider, of a caregiver, of sexual skill etc in only invokes sexual responses. So when you go around saying I want someone I find attractive you are saying you are looking for someone to have sex with. Thats the end of it and if thats high on your criteria you can't turn around and complain that such is what they wanted, just more then you did.
If you want men who aren't just looking for sex then look for and talk to the ones that actually talk about things, interests, suggest places or things to do beyond endorphine rushes. Look for the men who aren't just looking at looks or bars and clubs and superficial successes. Is it easy? no but its how its done. Of course in any event sex is a healthy and needed part of any relationship, so ultimately yes its going to be in your criteria but if you don't want to just be a peice of meat don't look at them as one.
Love is not what fails us, we fail love. When we try to make it fit our definitions, our wants as opposed to understanding our needs and what love needs to florish. I look at so many of those who have responded and its evident to me at the least that many of you should be having far less troubles then I do in finding someone so given that you are not the question should be why?. The answer is because before you can find what you seek you need to understand what you need vs what you think you want. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:50:50 AM | ^^^You are awesome^^^
I agree with your concept that love is not what fails us, we fail love. You are a wise man and I wish that everyone thought with as much clarity as you. Thank you | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:04:28 PM | | I still have faith in love and I know in my heart it will happen when it's supposed to. Have experienced a couple of relationships that lasted a while and admittedly only one man stole my heart completely, but he has since disappeared from my life. I have learned to love myself and be happy without someone in my life though and just try to enjoy life for what it is, what it deals my way. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:19:21 PM |
Now I just really don't feel like I could have any faith in men or love.
I firmly believe that we get what we believe. Those who don't believe in love, will never find it because even when it's right in front of them, they won't see it. Those who do believe in love will find it, because they see it all over the place.
OP, it's upsetting to see that you have such a negative view on things. It's a horrible way to live a life. I hope that you can change your outlook, because without hope, there is little or no meaning to life. One has to have hope, otherwise one will never find much in the way of fulfillment. | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:25:24 PM | Yes, I sure do!
Although, that "feeling" you get doesnt happen that often -or ever- , its a feeling to cherish, to run with and NEVER let it go!
Its funny because my godmother was just telling me about a week ago at my brothers wedding that she sees something VERY good for me thats gonna happen soon.
Hope she didn't jinx me! LOL | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:27:51 PM | | I am scared to death to give my heart away again. But in the same breath I know that all men arent evil just because 2 men in my life have done me wrong and tromped all over my heart. I believe that I will find my love and best friend. | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 74 | |
| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:42:03 PM |
Now I just really don't feel like I could have any faith in men or love.
Take it from one who knows, OP. It's incredibly easy to start feeling this way, and I understand. If possible, though, try not to let yourself fall into this way of feeling and thinking. It can become a really bad vicious circle and self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not entirely sure that I believe in the concept of romantic love. I do believe it is possible for two people to have a physical and emotional connection leading to a commitment. And, that commitment may end...and hopefully, another will come along.
I also know how you feel on saying "the good guys all seem to have a gf or married already". Do I ever know how you feel! I noted elsewhere that lately I seem to be a "man magnet" for the married or attached men -- but the single guys seem to be repelled by the same magnet!  I am joking, but I'm definitely fighting this same pessimistic outlook.
So you see, OP, others can feel the same way. Hang in there! You are young and very attractive, and things WILL happen. Shoot, I'm still hopeful at this zeeba's advanced age (creak creak creak!) | |
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| Do you still have faith in love?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:36:55 PM | i once upon time fell inlove, thinking "love conquers all"...stupid move.
well, actually, not that stupid. i lost about 5 inches out of that depression. anyways, i'm back with the same guy who once upon a time broke my heart. i like him...a lot. but i do think now that love is overrated. | |
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