| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:44:20 PM | Anais Nin. Great literary work and erotica. This forum confirms what I have believed to be a great cause of male/female sexual incompatibility. How many times I have tried to explain women to my male friends ... Generally speaking, during sex men are more goal oriented while women on the other hand want the passion/the feeling of wanting it to last forever.The quote above is one quote. A single thought at a specific time. That may or may not reflect how she feels at another given time. I have my favorite role play as does everyone else. Yet, there are definitely times when I just want to be taken. There is nothing like the strength and rawness that a man can have. There is no weakness in that. It takes a lot of power to give up that much control. That doesn't mean that men are responsible for our pleasure though. We all need to be open minded.
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman." Anais Nin | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:49:47 PM |
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman." Anais Nin
Thank you for that quote FTLOM.... and you beautifully surmised the thought process of an accomplished author and forward thinking woman, IMO.
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:23:27 PM | | And, is this why I love her,my LL. 'if you live your life afraid to commit your soul to another then you commit yourself to just exist'. Some see a man's complete commitment to another as a weakness but the knowing woman sees it as a mountain of strength because he is not in fear of losing anything. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:39:50 PM | I am familiar with Anais Nin through her biography her beauty did not ravished by aged. In fact, I fashioned myself on some of her female traits. Thanking you very much libra for sharing this . | |
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Qamila
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Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 81 | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 8/26/2009 9:23:47 PM | What could be more attractive than a woman who doesn't desire you as much as you desire her, uses you to feed her narcissistic tendencies and is too lazy to get on top?
Well, I can't speak for anyone but myself on this...but here's my stance:
I consider the role of Dom to be the pinnacle of servanthood. Did you catch that...as a Dom I consider myself to be a servant. I am a servant who has gained such trust from the master, that they have said to me "My land, and all that I own, I place under you care". The role of Dom is the greatest honor that can be bestowed upon a servant. It is the ultimate demonstration of trust and respect from a woman, for her to want to surrender "her possesions" so completely to a man.
Does that begin to give you an idea of how I think the man should look at the person they are dominating?
Not all men are servants. Most men get nothing out of being doms. Most will tell you it is just extra stress, pressures and demands on them.
Whaaattt? All I can think of, I don't remember where it is, there's an account Henry Miller wrote somewhere about f##king Anais and she was in this "totally passive," "feminine" trip which meant laying there like a sack of cold mashed potatoes and "letting" him do her with a c##rot. Yuck.
She couldn't write a plot to save her soul, either.
So what you're saying is women who think like this are the ones who suck in bed? You're probably right.
<div class='quote'>
"How wrong is it for women to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than set out to create it herself." )
Men are not servants. Women need to get over this. The only men who would date women who believe in this bullshit are losers. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/9/2009 2:38:42 PM | thank you, thank you, thank you for introducing me to this wonderful writer!
I have the same desire much of the time. I have conflicts as well but I know what my heart and other places desire. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:51:36 PM | | I resonate with this a lot. My SO had once told me when after I came in late one night horny as hell and just proceeded to fcuk the h*ll out of her, that she loves it when I take her this way. But I've discovered something about myself as well; I like it when I let her have me any way she wants me, when I take control by relenquishing control and just let her "ride it home". Just letting her use me for her pleasure while being there, strong beneath her, watching her go crazy with lust...what trip that is for me. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/11/2009 12:22:15 AM | Eventually, I've discovered, all women I've loved, been intimate with, or just plain had affairs with all had this same need.
It's been hard for me to reconcile this, because passivity has always come easier to me. I sort of drilled it into myself to be the gentler man... that was a mistake.
Kinda hurts sometimes, honestly, I feel like I gave up something before I knew to value it. I always thought women were simpler and had different, more virtuous desires. I'm a guy, flaws and all. Didn't realize they'd have both virtue and crave dominance.
It doesn't seem to be all women, but in my personal experience it might as well have been.
Live and learn, right? | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:29:15 AM | | Insomnimac - There is nothing wrong with you, and if you are naturally passive, you need to start looking towards a more Dominant woman who likes to be in control. You will be much happier. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 11:31:10 AM | I think it's kinda sad that many women find her writings a "revelation", an "epiphany." Many women don't realize that deep down this IS what they feel and need. It is primordial. It is genetic It is Neadrathalic in it's base of procreation in a world where you were liable on ANY given day to get eaten - and not in the nice way.
Young girls are taught - no BRAINWASHED - by modern educrats to stand up for themselves, that THEY hold all the power and that THEY need to be super-ASSERTIVE and always be in control. They've screwed up the psyches of so many who do not understand the genetic protocols that govern our inner minds. Many women NEVER realize these things. Many women go through two marriages before they even begin to suspect that what really turns them on is not being a domineering **** to a woosified male who is too scared of moral or legal retribution if he so much as looks at her sideways without permission.
For MOST women the inner core of their minds has been anesthetized by the BS shoveled at them from early schooling and intensified through university. They marry and are miserable because they never get the thrill of being TAKEN .. of being desired so intensely by their mate that it feels like the EQUIVALENT of a violent rape - MINUS the fear, the violence the hatred and the pain.
Women FANTASIZE about "rape" scenarios and feel GUILTY because of it. It isn't the rape they seek ... not the violence but the INTENSITY of being wanted and HAD by their man. Women in their 30's, 40's and older begin to understand and CRAVE a man who will tear their clothes off, give them a spanking to establish dominance and then fawk her three ways to Sunday, to pound her, take her, throw her around and MAKE her perform for HIS pleasure. Somewhere in that mixture they realize it turns THEM on like crazy too but they've never been able to admit it. Never been able to communicate to their man that this is what they NEED - not every night but just often enough to make them feel 210% WOMAN.
Anais Nin's writings are a revelation to so many women who have never dared admit that this is how they feel ... deeeep down inside in a place they've been taught is a dark place and should never see the light of day.
Strangely enough, as toomuch13 expressed, the women who can and DO admit to this level of arousal and being open to their man needing and TAKING them like a horned up cave-man are also the ones who are comfortable reversing the roles once in a while and doing many of those dark and dangerous things with and to their man. Reversing the roles ONLY comes with sexual self-confidence and a maturity level where roll reversals of any degree are not considered "changing sides" but simply mutual exploration. THOSE women are true treasures. To themselves and especially to their lovers.
*additional*
I was just reading some of the middle page posts and thought I'd comment on one. What a SAD but typical commentary from one poster who all but dismisses this purely sexual revelation based on Nin's POLITICS. Somebody please explain to me what makes a loving sexual relationship "worthy" or not gauged or judges on whether the person suggesting or writing about it is a righty or a lefty. The protocols of DESIRE and arousal completely transcend the pettiness and corruption of politics. GAWD I don't care HOW perverted and sleazy ANY kind of SEX is, it looks pure as the driven snows compared to idiocy and corruption of politics!!! WHAT an idiotic basis for a comment!!
I am SO glad that women feel the need to expose their bigotry and close mindedness here and not on the second date when you've already paid for two steak dinners and gas to go pick her up. RED FLAGS are MOST welcome no matter what form they take!!! | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:30:13 PM | @ Dave - I agree with you - most young people today are taught so little about TRUE equality.... about the differences in how the genders approach life and living.... and in how those differences are reflected in their views on sexuality.
How many people in their 30s and 40s today can have a good long chat about their sexuality with their partners.... their friends.... their siblings.... their own children.... and OMG - their parents? Very, very few, from what I can tell. I posted a thread several months ago about a number one fantasy.... and there were 4 questions... trying to gauge how open people are to discussing their fantasies with their partners. Most replied that their main fantasy was not for forum discussion, and did not answer the other three questions.
In discussions with friends, most thought I was totally nutzoid for discussing my fantasies with a partner.... I might be judged for it, was their most common reason. I think the problem is multi-faceted.... sexuality is not an open subject for discussion due to religion, fear of being judged, baggage re: one's past, male/female equality issues.... the list goes on. The bottom line, it is something we need to address with our kids.... talk with our youth about things openly..... talk with our partners openly.... let our kids see that it is a normal part of life... not something to be used for controlling another. When it is discussed as openly as one's taste in music, then we may have progress. Yeah, I know.... a fantasy.... but one never knows if it will become reality. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:44:16 PM | She was born in 1903. That explains a lot.
I was recently with a woman who expected me to initiative everything, make all the moves in bed, decide when and where and how, while she just laid there like an object. It was the most boring experience of my life. If I want someone like that I'll just find a department store mannequin.
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:57:04 PM | Not my thing at all. I like my partner to be able to make up her own mind, speak for herself, and let me speak for myself. In bed I like her willing, not a slave, yet open to different funs, and there are times I am the one who would enjoy being approached for sex, have a woman tell me what she feels like for her fun, her to be on top, or just take the lead and please me, I return the loving no problem, even in more than whan I receive.
The man running it all has lost its appeal especially in sex for me, if a woman is horny she has no reason to wait for her man for a week to get something, I really like it if she starts me and gives me a sign she feels like some sex time.
If your man is busy building, say a fence, and he comes in for a drink, rub him, grab him, take him, have his hands in places he doesn't need guessing.
Maybe you will like it, just try. I like that myself except that at this time I am not with someone to share that kind of experience. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:30:58 PM |
Young girls are taught - no BRAINWASHED - by modern educrats to stand up for themselves, that THEY hold all the power and that THEY need to be super-ASSERTIVE and always be in control. They've screwed up the psyches of so many who do not understand the genetic protocols that govern our inner minds..For MOST women the inner core of their minds has been anesthetized by the BS shoveled at them from early schooling and intensified through university. They marry and are miserable because they never get the thrill of being TAKEN .. of being desired so intensely by their mate that it feels like the EQUIVALENT of a violent rape - MINUS the fear, the violence the hatred and the pain.
Dave, you're talking about two different things. Women can be equal, women can even hold the power politically and they can still be submissive in bed. Their sexuality can have little to do with social behaviour. They can be - and are - two different women.
Anais is a revelation to many women today for the same reasons she was in the 1930s. She's a beautiful writer. Do you think a great writer will only speak to his or her generation? | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:59:56 PM | Methinks you missed my point by a country parsec.
I'm NOT talking about two different things at all. I'm taking a stab at why many women never think like Nin describes either ever or so late in life they miss a LOT of the fun. It is NOT a matter of who holds the political power, who writes the checks, whether they vote Republican or Democrat (again, what an idiotic basis for sexuality) or whether one is sub dom or consider themselves equal. It is addressing the inner core of what women, given the opportunity to properly lose all the BS thrown at them by schools and women's mags aimed at the already brain-dead, want. The more open they are to their own base sexual needs the more it frees them to be who they are not what some really f/ups sections of society see them as being.
Do YOU think a great writer only speaks for A generation or as one poster has already BRILLIANTLY suggested, for one political viewpoint? Again, that is light years from what I said. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:13:15 PM | ^^^well, excuse me for querying your post, Master....
Oh - just to let you know - EVERYTHING'S political... | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:30:49 PM | OK so if sarcasm is your thing ...
Women can be equal, women can even hold the power politically and they can still be submissive in bed. Their sexuality can have little to do with social behaviour. They can be - and are - two different women.
Ummm No sheeet Shirlock? And thank God for it too but WHEN did the revelation come to you. In a discussion like this if one party clearly doesn't understand what another is saying is it somehow dissing the first to CLARIFY? Or should one just take the criticism even though the points aren't what was said.
Perhaps most telling here is you
EVERYTHING's political ...
I disagree. That means I don't think you're right. I think you're wrong. Politics is another world. We are talking about a section of the brain and a philosophy that originates from those thought patterns that predates "politics" by about a million years.
Try again. | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:37:51 PM | Thank You.
Funny how that works, huh?
Some LIKE what I write. Some think I'm FOS. Of course the ones who think I'm FOS usually don't understand what I'm saying anyway so based on their perception I may be. It's just WHAT I said so
it's more confusing for them than indicative of what I had to say.
DUZ that make sense??
I wonder if Anais NIN ever discovered her GSPOT or was with a lover who found it and could make it bark all night long. Perhaps THAT is why she was so in tune with herself and how she said she liked to be taken by her man (no her husband apparently) and pounded. I'd love to find out. Anybody know if she spoke of that in any of her other books ??
This is a small quote from the latest post on my TRY THIS thread on LIT
I showed him this thread. The result for me was orgasm after orgasm after orgasm
Try this yourself and post HER reaction ...
http://forum.literotica.com:81/showthread.php?t=70892 | |
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| A quote from Anais Nin....
Posted: 9/22/2009 1:10:23 AM | [quote
"I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness."
Whew! To have such a gift as to be able to be honoured with such a way of life as Anais describes is truly one lover's gift to another...
The implications of "submission" in Anais' quote are, I think, being misread by many. If a reader takes the time to explore that she is actually commenting on the ecstasy of being able to be all that we are in our core femininity with a man who is able to bring that forward, there is no submissiveness actually involved in that miracle.
Of all that we might miss in our lives as singles, I think this is the greatest cause of our mourning... where we have met that one person who could also revel in the "darkness and richness of our femaleness" and been unable, for whatever reason, to go forward with him.
*sigh*
Wow! I could not possibly have stated my feelings on the subject any better. Except that, I want to live darkly and richly (except I dont believe the connotation of darkness applies so much in modern times...so maybe I would say sacredly, wildly, emboldened and richly) in my femaleness.....only with your insight and wisdom.
I think she was also speaking of absolute complete and full trust, because it takes almost an otherworldly kind of trust to be this intimate to reveal this much about the self.....to another human being....and I have found that very very few are capable of it. | |
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