| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:42:54 PM | I think it is perfectly normal for someone to ask what another (either sex) what they do for a living. Careers that are similar often lead to lots of conversation and a way of getting to know one another.
You are so right about the lobster dinner .... me thinks the lady is FAR MORE INTERESTED IN DATING TO EAT! | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:54:09 PM | midwestisbest is right on the money here. I definitely like to know what a woman does for a living--not because of the money but because her profession is a part of her in many cases and I wnat to know the woman better. This is especially true with a woman who has more education than most, as they spent extra years to earn that occupation and it is appropriate to ask about it.
Now I am referring to the job. Asing about her financial status, savings, financial benefits (401-K, etc.), annual income, etc., is not appropriate.
Plus a job and schooling shows ambition, professionalism, and a lot more about the person as well. For instance, somebody who is a waitress is probably physically active, sales oriented, aims to please, and can handle negative situations with a smile. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/23/2008 3:56:35 PM | | I can't imagine dating a woman whose identity is tied to her profession. A few that come to mind are Hillary Clinton, Gloria Allred and Ann Coulter. All are well established, intelligent and respected by their respective peers. They all have great credentials but I'm guessing that the not too many guys would be willing to be in a relationship with any of them despite their solid careers. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 6:39:44 AM | Well, you have to talk about something and you should both know what the weather is.
Actually, some professions or jobs can lead to rather interesting dialogs, especially if both parties are familiar with, or have even done, that particular job. "Did you ever ...?" "Have you ever...?" "Do you know...?" These can establish a common ground and make the conversation more comfortable.
As I have pointed out before, if you don't ask you'll never know. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:56:52 AM | It may just be me but I could really care less what a woman does for a living if I'm considering her as a potential partner; I'm much more interested what she does with her life. If all she can talk about is her job I might as well consider her as unavailable.
Sure, a person's perfession could be used as an opener but it shows no originality what so ever. Instead of using a topic which is ordinary, why not start off with something interesting? Grab my attention, show me that you aren't like everyone else. Doing so shows that you're original and confident; it could be much more interesting than what you do for a living. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:21:17 AM | | No, men don't care what you do for a living. They are making conversation and trying to get to know you. Men have a lot of identity tied into what they do for a living, so it is a natural question for them to ask someone. I don't know why that would be an issue for a woman? | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:38:42 AM | In the United States, it's one of the things we ask people when we meet them. It's supposed to be a topic of conversation. Boring (most of the time) but people ask it. In Europe, it's considered rude. You are supposed to ask people about their families.
Some people are hung up about professions. They make assumptions about your level of intelligence. They make assumptions about your income and what the implications of that may mean for them. When I would meet a guy, I always made it a point *not* to ask and shunned answering the question because I wanted to get to know them as a person before that kind of information came out. I didn't want it to color my perception of them and didn't want it influencing their attitude about me.
Don't take offense, but if you don't want to answer, don't. What I always said was, "I prefer not to talk about my job when I'm getting to know someone. Ask me again when we know each other a little better." Or I'd keep it vague. "I'm in health care," and leave it at that. On occasion this would really upset a guy and I'd figure, okay, that was a quick way to eliminate someone who obviously is not going to be a good match. The kind of guy I want in my life will accept reasonable boundaries and what I do for a living is not information that every man I meet for the first time is entitled to. Third time, yes, if it looks like we're going to continue seeing each other, but first time, no. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:54:22 AM | | I for one really like knowing what people do for a living, either as friends or as dates. I'm not saying I want to talk shop all the time but it can give you a good perspective on a persons life. For example, I could tell you I worked as a consultant and regularly spend over 9 hours in the office. That might appeal to you, that might not and you might want someone who spends more time at home. Also, and call it judgemental, ifI see some one without a job listed on their profile, I start wondering if they're actually unimployed. I'm not saying this is always the case and I don't have anything against unimployment, however I'm not sure if that's my scene right now, dating some one mid 20s plus without a job. harsh? perhaps but also practical and something I look for. I don't expect People to have amazing jobs and frankly if you're a weightress or a CEO, I wouldn't care as long as you were happy and we could both be happy with you working the hours you did. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:39:31 PM | | A thousand people have answered this but I need to have my two cents tossed in the pail. It's not about what you DO... it's more a question of: 1) how you're paying the bills at home; 2) what drives you in the day; 3)where someone would BE if there was flowers showing up during the day (perhaps anonymously); 4)does what you do to pay the bills describe the inner you; and 5)are you getting to play with your muse?(that thing that you love to do the most besides be with the one that fills your head/heart) . Being a waitress may just say that you're getting by and the job is about paying the bills. Being a CEO says You are the woman in charge, you command the respect of those around you and, you are independent enough to book your day off "sick"- if you wanted the sun NOT to come up as it were. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:39:06 PM | Ahhhh Cmonster, this hurts my heart, really it does:
I can't imagine dating a woman whose identity is tied to her profession. A few that come to mind are Hillary Clinton, Gloria Allred and Ann Coulter. All are well established, intelligent and respected by their respective peers. They all have great credentials but I'm guessing that the not too many guys would be willing to be in a relationship with any of them despite their solid careers.
I mean really, Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton never belong on the same list -shakes head-
For my two cents, if a guy doesn't express some interest in what I do then [bold]that[/bold] rules him out. Maybe I'm "new school" but I am a successful, driven, intelligent woman with a challenging and rewarding career. I'm not killing time until I can have babies and perfect my chicken casserole recipe...
Does this mean I'm a rabid feminist, or Clinton or Coulter-like? Nope. Just means that I'm proud of what I do, and I chose it for a reason, and it's a large part of who I am. Believe it or not - these days careers can be important to women too! -le gasp- | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:05:10 PM | | I just can't imagine not telling someone what I do for a living. It's where I spend a great deal of my time. Even though it doesn't have to be a major topic of conversation, it's bound to come up at some point. And I would hope he was interested enough in me to want to know how I spend my time. I would be very suspicious of anyone who would NOT tell me what they do for a living. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:14:52 PM | | People usually ask this question for conversation -- nothing strange about it. I would feel weirded out if someone avoided answering, or didn't care to know about what I do for a living (as long as they don't ask for my T4, that is ...*lol*) | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:19:18 PM | | It's just an idle question in conversation when there isn't much else to talk about 'cept the weather - and also to see if you have ANY profession. Relax. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:24:56 PM |
I mean really, Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton never belong on the same list -shakes head-
C'mon, I wasn't directly comparing the two. One is a well accomplished author ant the other is a well accomplished politician. I'll admit that it may be presumptuous to put both in the same list especially in this instance because its been said that the jury is still out on the actual gender of one of them. I'm not saying which one but has anyone taken a really good look at the mitts on Anne? I mean I've only seen hands like those on Wilt Chamberlain and ET.
Don't believe me?
http://www.overspun.com/images/Coulter.Alien.jpg | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:26:13 PM | | lol - and here I thought you were going to follow up the gender-ambiguity comment with one of the common Hillary-is-a-lesbian-attacks. Your Coulter pic slightly redeems you calling her a 'well-accomplished' anything :P | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 1:41:15 PM | well personally i think that its important to know about what each other do. No offence but many guys when they are well of assume that females are after them for their money, and when it comes down to it so many of them put pics on of their flash cars!!!! in order to try and attract said females, I am very proud of the fact that I am a professional female and work hard to get where I am today and the fact that I dont need a man to support me but instead do it for myself, on the other hand there is also the downside many men feel threatened by smart women and would rather have a nedy female in their lives, the question of profession is merely anothe window of information into a persons beliefs and interests. I also on the other hand would like to think I could meet a man with a similar ambitions and understand the drive and sacarafices that need to be made to get to where iam now | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:44:22 PM | I don't see anything wrong with this question. We spend most of our time at work, so the work partially becomes our second identity. Some men ask about it to get a sense of your personality, some do it for a small talk, some want to estimate your income range. Regardless of the reasons, it's a normal question.
I also ask this question. I like to know a man's occupation and education as much as I like to know his age, marital status, location, etc. Some occupations a turn off for me even a man is well off financially. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:17:17 PM |
We spend most of our time at work, so the work partially becomes our second identity.
That's kinda scary. Not just that some people's identity is defined by their occupation but that they could change identities depending on the activity. They're one way with their friends, another at work, another when with the family and possibly another when dating. It as if it's some sort of multiple personality disorder. Why not just define your identity by your own terms and stick with it no matter the occasion? | |
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TrinB
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Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 244 | |
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:23:55 PM | leaving it blank leaves one to consider the following....
1. do they work
2. do they not work
i think leaving it blank is okay....i did...until you decide to actually meet and have a conversation with one another.....
the ones that are a huge turn off to me are:
maybe
work hard
yes i do
kind of makes one wonder is this the type of smart a*s person i would like to be involved with.....i can see why some men leave it blank....cause there are alot of women out there not working looking for the preverbial meal ticket....well, and some guys too...
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:43:43 PM | I used to work in a pretty good job with good prospects, with a guy who told me that he would only have a relationship with someone who was on his level of earnings. He just wanted to avoid all the problems when you earn more than him, and when he earns more than you.
I just want to know that you enjoy your job, and that it is truly fulfilling for you. I like people who really have an interesting life. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:49:11 PM |
That's kinda scary. Not just that some people's identity is defined by their occupation but that they could change identities depending on the activity. They're one way with their friends, another at work, another when with the family and possibly another when dating. It as if it's some sort of multiple personality disorder. Why not just define your identity by your own terms and stick with it no matter the occasion?
No, that's not what I meant. I mean that majority of us choose an occupation that fits our personalities. For example, "Social Butterfly" type of a person would choose an occupation that deals with people, and not just machines, or a "Geek" type of a person would not be a Party Planner. No multiple personalities unless you specifically chose the disconnect between your personality and your occupation. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:45:38 PM |
No, that's not what I meant. I mean that majority of us choose an occupation that fits our personalities.
True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality? | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:30:05 PM | | it's mainly a conversation starter for me, anyway. After you tell me, then I can ask you questions. We are supposed to be interested in you, that is what we hear. I wish men would show interest. Why question everything. Just go with it. If he is after your money, drop his ass. Simple. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:33:20 PM |
True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality?
And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc? Careers are byproducts of our personalities? Yes, you can say that. And it's not just a preference based on a personality type that affected the career choice, but also the energy, the drive, the ambitions, the risk tolerance level and many other characteristics. Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too. | |
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| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:01:18 PM |
And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc?
Along with ideas, beliefs, dreams, goals, funny anecdotes, general perceptions about life, the list goes on and on. There are tons of things which give more insight about a person. Unless of course all you have to talk about is your job.
Ever wonder why couples grow apart so quickly and eventually break up because they end realizing that their partner is as exciting as a crushed pebble? More times than not it's a lack of interest. The funny thing is that they say that they've lost interest, I'd challenge them as to the amount of interest they had in the first place.
Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too.
That's typically something that women but a big emphasis on. What people still fail to accept is that nowadays someone who seems to have socio-economic status is in the same dire financial straits as the people who fell into the sub-prime mess. A person could have a six figure salary at Bear Stearns and still have 470 credit rating but if he sounds ambitious he can still win over a girl, right? | |
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