| |
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:56:07 PM |
if a guy makes more than me, probably there would be no table of yari,
What is a table of yari?
:))
there is a poster here yarimelma i think
he insists that everything a girl makes while married she should put on the table..
share i guess...
it's just becomes too funny!
And to answer your question, sure you'll find out what person does before marring him :))
sometimes you don't even need to ask, people will volunteer this info to you, | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:01:55 PM | | I suppose its is the same reason women ask men. Unconsciously or consciously we are determining weather or not you are able to provide for yourself as a mate. Another reason is that your chosen profession can tell a us a lot about who you are as a person. To use your example, it is hard to argue against the fact that a CEO would be much more independent and self sufficient than a waitress. Not to take away from the independent waitresses out there. There are many reasons. I don't necessarily think it is the determining factor of weather or not we will talk to you, but it is certainly one of them. Not to mention, it's a great way to begin to identify with you. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:05:38 PM |
If not for my responses getting posted on my charming little profile I'd tell you why....guess you'll never know! ;)
since your charming little profile is already ruined with your other responses,
i don't think there would be much harm in sharing your ideas with general public | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:07:11 PM | | I suppose its is the same reason women ask men. Unconsciously or consciously we are determining weather or not you are able to provide for yourself as a mate. Another reason is that your chosen profession can tell a us a lot about who you are as a person. To use your example, it is hard to argue against the fact that a CEO would be much more independent and self sufficient than a waitress. Not to take away from the independent waitresses out there. There are many reasons. I don't necessarily think it is the determining factor of whether or not we will talk to you, but it is certainly one of them. Not to mention, it's a great way to begin to identify with you. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:15:15 PM |
he insists that everything a girl makes while married she should put on the table..
share i guess...
He insists that what BOTH people in a marriage make should put everything on the table. BIG difference.
As for your question about a woman making money in a different league... Not to brag, but if she makes 4-5 times than what I make (I'd consider that a different league), she'd be making well over a half a million dollars a year. I'd be utterly impressed by this. Not too many people my age outside of pro sports athletes can say that they were making over a half a mil a year in their early 30s. That probably takes a pretty successful business or a stellar career. And I'd be even more interested to hear how she got that high that fast, but I could care less about dating her for her money. I have way more self respect than that. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:30:23 PM | Let's face it. Higher incomes allow for more lifestyle treats, and dating where there is significant disparity between the two of you would make that a sore spot, or a source of discomfort.
For me, it's about self respect. I've always strived to do as well as I possibly can just in case it's only me throughout life. I'm not going to let a lack of a healthy income hinder me from travelling to places faraway, or treating my grandmother to a cruise, or buying myself a house or condo. My mom taught me that if someone is along to pool money with, great, but if not, don't sit on your laurels and settle for minimum wage.
I downplay the salary I make, for the most part, because I have found it is intimidating to some men. Granted, those are probably not the ones I should date, but nonetheless, I don't want it to be a factor whatsoever.
I'm proud of my success, of my acheivements, and Im fine if someone wants to ask what I do as I've had the great fortune of a very dynamic career. But nor is it deal breaking criteria for me if the man I choose to date happens to exceed my income or falls a little short, as long as his attitude and ambitions can keep up. It's the man, himself, period. It's very possible for a dynamic partner to project their mate onto far greater success as a team, and this is something everyone should bear in mind.
Hope that helps. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:55:21 PM | To Miss Paradox
I totally understand your salary downplaying strategy amd i used it myself before
but start a relationship with a lie, well i guess you can say later you got a raise and disclose your real salary | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 11:23:05 PM | Flesh and bones............money did not make them.
Someones salary is not the determining factor as far as I'm concerned......it's matters of the heart, not the wallet.
All the wealth in the world is not going buy everything a person needs......
common sense, personality, happiness........
How happy can someone be to get so anal about someone inquiring about their---notice I said their and not there--- career?
SFW?
I don't think, especially after 8 pages of this, that many will be knocking down the door to get to know you.
My take...my opinion; you're cold and clinical.
You say, "love or at least compatible, to have a family and children".
Petree dish comes to mind.
And the winching about giving birth, breast feeding, taking care of the family.......well 1-800-Boo Who............
And men are just there to make money?
They are sooooo much more.
An intimate partnership of two people wanting to share responsibilities of taking care of their family.
Ours...no he or she........
Most marriages would last if they worked together as smooth as a team of mules.
Of course you make to much money to know such mundane things..how trailer park of me.......
Well, that one thing you've missed and you're sure to miss a real biggie if you don't stop fixating and obsessing over your money.....the love of a good man.
The way it stands now...you are so full of yourself, you have no room for any one else....
And all this "winning the bread (which was actually...bread winner", "bringing home the bacon"......I haven't heard that for years and I'd say who ever is teaching ESL needs to get some new books. 
Who killed JR took less script than this.
I've got weed killer....gonna go out and watch some weeds die.
ceeceekitty | |
|
| |
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:20:08 AM | I ask this question pretty up front, but to me it doesn't matter what you do or how much you make, its just a question to find out about who you are and what you do, and where you spend your time. Like someone said you spend alot of time at work, if you are the CEO of some big company, you may have to work 70 hour work weeks, and some people dont want someone who is married to their work. You may be a police officer or firefighter, some men, as well as women, dont want to have to worry if their partner will return from work or not.
On another point with men being providers and women raiseing the children, it doesn't always work that way anymore. I have a few friends who are stay at home DADS which is getting more common these days, some women would rather work, some women, I'm sorry to say, arent the best stay at home moms, and the father is able to take better care of the child. I'm not sure who made the comment about breastfeeding, but nowadays they have breastpumps and bottles, you pump the milk into a bottle and the father can feed the baby. Now adays a good father will even wake up in the middle of the night to feed and change the baby, things that in the past, when a man was sole provider, would never happen.
Reading this posts I have to say there are some really great women out here who are secure and indepent and proud of it and I congradulate them, but for all of the ones out here complaining about being equal and indepent and then saying they want a perfect gentleman, you can have things both ways. If you want to be equal and indepent then be 100% you can't have equality when it benifits you. Don't tell a guy you want to be equal indpent strong woman, then get mad when he doesn't open the door for you. If you want equal eaither stop asking men what they do, or answer when they ask you. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:28:13 AM |
interesting life, opportunities to see and experience things with the person I love, or at least compatible with, family, children
i would not throw word love, as i heard it many times directed towards me, and i'm unsure about its true meaning
Simple, isn't it?
How about you?
Pretty much the same thing as you but without setting limitations based on income.
Simpler, isn't it? It seems strange to base one's capacity of love or compatability by a person's income. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 4:51:49 PM |
At some point of your life you will need to feel loved, understood, to share your thoughts, ideas, sadness. If you don't share, people are not gonna share with you.
The 2nd sentence is not true at all. Ask anyone the correct set of questions in the proper series and after a while he'll share with you just about everything that has ever happened in his life. All this without sharing one detail of one's life.
Did you notice that not all people who get married "equally financially" are happy. They doubled their money, and now they are afraid to divorce because it's a huge loss
How about those who aren't even close to being financially equal and one ends up being a hostage due to fear of not being able to support one's self outside of the marriage? That's happened far more frequently. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:34:24 PM |
Not only I need to work like crazy, but I also still have to give birth, raise children, cook and clean.
No you don't NEED to do anything but die and pay taxes.
The whole TRUE point of the equality for women movement was to give women CHOICES. If you choose to put all your time and energy into a career, you can DO that. The women's equality movement was NOT about making it a demand that women "do it all", nor was it designed to screw men over.
For good or ill, for many families having both parents in the workplace has become an economic must, particularly if one wants to help the kids with college and retire with dignity.
And realistically, a woman who has chosen to forego marriage& motherhood in order to put ALL her energy into a career is going to encounter some raised eyebrows. But the choice IS there. And no one is forcing you to "give birth, raise children, cook and clean".
Cindy O | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:56:48 PM | Thank you, I thought there was something called yari, not a someone.
In today's work environment, who knows what company will shut down. You could be bringing home a mil a year and have your company go upside down and you no longer have retirement, stocks, or insurance. If you are so concerned about your potential partner's job and income, you will never find a true partner. It is more important to get to know a person, their job is part of them, but not them.
We don't have the caste system in the US...ok, maybe the yari system exists though... | |
|
| |
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:20:52 PM | | They are looking for sugar mamas. It's the same reason they are looking for someone with a house, a car, a big paycheck, no bills. They want somebody to take care of them. Just my thoughts. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:27:08 PM | | I think that what you do for a living says a lot about your intelligence???......I'm never offended when asked and I certainly don't think it's about money....Don't you agree? | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:30:42 PM | I am self employed ( female ) and that is one of the first questions I ask anyone when I meet them ( male or female) I ask because
(1) it is a conversation starter ( usually people like to talk about what they do for a living )
(2) I am in the bookkeeping business so I am always interested in what people do. I may be able to help them or if I may need their services. It's a networking thing as well.
(3) you can find out alot about people by what they choose to do for work.
I have been told that men find it offensive when women ask that question because they think that women are trying to find out how much they make ( alot of gold diggers out there )
I think men do care what you do for a living. If a man is a CEO of a major corporation he is probably not going to have too much in common with a waitress ( and I waitressed for 18 years so I am not in any way putting down that profession )
It also tells them how much time you have and what kind of schedule you keep. And yes your income level and education level. Not too many men want to be footing the bill all the time. They are looking for an equal or close to it in my opinion.
Nurses have crazy schedules as do police officers, firefighters and yes waitresses.
Hope that helps
Cheers
bizdivaz66 | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:38:21 PM | Men define who they are by their careers. It has always been that way. They define you by yours too, now that most women work. So thus, as they would socially ask their males counterparts what they do for a living in conversation, they now ask women.
Some men want to know you aren't a leach. I ask men what they do for a living. I don't want a leach either! *giggle*
Some men want to use you; some women want to use men.
It really isn't a big deal. I would be more concerned about all they want to know, not just one thing. All the stuff would then define what they want as long as you can read between the lines. If you think they want to use you, financially, they probably do. But, then, you could be paranoid. ;)
Damn, dating can be so complicated, can't it?? :)
Just enjoy and try not to over analyze. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:34:11 AM | They want to know how you spend your time. A solid career has many benefits. Life is expensive and becoming more expensive everyday. A career demonstrates real value in the real world that we all have to live in.
Men enjoy and highly value their own security and a good income stream exactly like most woman. Managing career responsibilities and balanced with personal interests to attain and sustain the best life (within reason) is highly admireable to men. 
It immediately speaks volumes about someones motives, personality, character and commitments. 
To me, trust and personability skills are the most important and intimate part of relationships. That goes for almost all relationships. | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:17:37 AM | bizdivaz66 nicolas cage married a waitress at a tittle sushi resturant and is bipolar. He has a disability and married a woman that he "liked". she does not work. is she a gold digger?
have you done anything amazing with your little bookkeeping job and witha disability like he did? you are very judgmental. with the serious relations i have had, who had the money paid. And we did not care. I had an unemployed fiance with a PhD that we were living together and at the time I was making excellent money. I never hesitated on being the provided. How can you call providing for a loved on of a family gold digging.
You are sooo obnoxious and inmature. you need to be with a hypocrite such as yourself.
the type of person that bails when thing are bad. that leaves her signifigant other because he is ill or got fired. because you are power stauture and a money freak
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yuck  | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:18:22 AM | Posted By: vivaciousvixen2
bizdivaz66 nicolas cage married a waitress at a tittle sushi resturant and is bipolar. He has a disability and married a woman that he "liked". she does not work. is she a gold digger? I haven't seen anything so offensive in the bizdivaz66 -- she just describe the thing how it's in real life, but not in a fairy tale.
Rich men do marry poor girls (especially if they bipolar :-) but how often this happen? her point is very valid and nothing says that she would left her SO because of some life circumstances | |
|
| Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:27:42 AM |
Rich men do marry poor girls (especially if they bipolar :-) but how often this happen?
yeah, bipolar is the key word in this phrase :))
more psychologically stable rich men would rarely marry poor girls | |
|
| |
Home
login 
