| | Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such thingsPage 4 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) |
Another product I would`nt bother trying to sell was the male pump..... whoever thought guys would be able to blow that part of themselves up to a larger size by putting a sleeve around it and... pumping, must have been drunk or dreaming. But apparently its one of the most commonly sold to short guys... I read that in the blurb that came with the catalogue book for sexpo...at acost of over $100 mostly.. cheaper to buy a vaccuum cleaner and get another service out of it!
I'm always looking for new and unique uses for my household appliances LOL! Now, what happens if it doesn't work? Do I still get to say "This vacuum cleaner sucks!"
You might be a wicked woman but I like the way your mind works  | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:26:38 PM | If a man knows what he;s doing and takes his time to massage, and use his fingers as much as possible to make a womean cum several times , to finally make love, and slowly penertrate, until the womam wants it right in , the woman would be satisfied. I she wants more at the end , then so it should be. Awoman is to be pleased and treated with respect. She is a god. She has a beautifl bodu regardless of size. So treat her carectly and she will always want your**** | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/26/2008 7:14:45 AM | My last two toys,
my ex bought for me. Then he went to Iraq for three months.
He knew what they did, how they worked, & how he could work them & himself!!
We broke up when he got back. The toys work.
Still haven't met anyone who can work it like he did!!! (Not talking about the toys! They still work!) Miss him though!
How can so few Men know what they're doing??
It's not that difficult surely????? | |
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Hagars
| | Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 81 | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/27/2008 8:36:49 AM | You lot are disgusting. Here's me thinking the only worthwhile advance sexual science has made in the last 20 years is Viagra. Incidentally..... Does anyone know if I can get it for free on my pension card?..... and while I'm at it..... are battery operated air pumps available as optional extras?.... old guys don't have enough puff to blow up (optional - insert the word 'young' here)dolls.
Don't know, never had a drought!*
Don't worry Milly it's on it's way. Won't be too much longer before everything dries up.
But why some guys STOP doing what they are doing when it gets to that point is beyond me
Champs it's like this..... Us guys don't want you gals to get carried away and have multiples. Just wouldn't be fair.
and there's no point trying to sell a car if you havent even taken it for a drive.
Are you actually suggesting it's better to join a library than buy a book?.... Whoopee. Bionics back. See.... there is a God. Well.... at a pinch, at least there's Goddess.
it's the 'real deal' or it's no deal - who wants to play with an inaminate object!
'Ang on. Always thought it was your job to animate it.
Best guess to all this is that toys are substitutes for the real thing. Satisfaction not guaranteed. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/27/2008 9:02:49 PM | Msg 95:
California Exotics motors are the strongest. And you should use alkaline batteries with most toys.
A friend has a couple of DykeMeister 3000's, "...for the harder to please woman!".
She has the BBW 5kW industrial-grade "Rabid Robot Rabbit" model which runs off 3-phase power, and she also has the "Backwoods Uber Girl" version which features a 79cc McCullough chain-saw motor - and some fancy engraving - for those erotic camping trips away from the mains grid.
She swears by them. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/28/2008 5:54:26 AM | Ohhhhh
ToldYouSo,
I'm sure you're used to hearing from girls with toys!
You seem to be very confident with inanimate objects!
Hope that works out well for you & your life partner!
Yes really............ some girls/guys think Viagra rocks!
It doesn't matter......... it happens to lots of guys...................LMAO!! | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/28/2008 7:36:12 AM | When whose size really matters!
Funny how the same types of subjects are currently on various forums I frequent
The ones below I borrowed as they seems to fit the current subject.
“A bit of action is more important than size, at least to me.
I mean, there isn't much point being stuffed tight but getting no motion happening, is there?
In a perfect world, the perfect man would have enough there to feel snug, enough motion to get things rocking, and a few other techniques to really get the old fireworks happening.
He would be able to keep it going for a satisfactory length of time, and he would be able to do it all again within a reasonable amount of time.
But life isn't perfect, no man is perfect, and just as important, no woman is perfect either.
I am sure that for every man who is a bit small, a bit limp, a bit too quick to arrive, or a bit unmotivated, there is a woman who is a bit too loose, a bit too tight, too dry, not interested, unimaginative or too passive.”
And I just thought you would like this answer too!
“I don’t mean we are all waiting for a big fat salami but something bigger than your thumb is good. It must be really bloody hard for the guys that have` nt been blessed with an appendage average and above in size. There is something a bit disappointing in sighting a penis for the first time and its weeny. On the other hand I have had friends tell me that they have in their time seen ones that nearly made them faint and or run in fear. Technique is everything and the right size is going to vary from person to person .... So yet again its horses for courses. I have always wondered thought whether the men with the really small ones are paying for some karmic past life debt ....` cos we all know how penis size and male egos are connected.”
But this one really made me titter!
Borrowed from another site
However, my daughter had sex ed the other month where they were practising putting on condoms. Her comment about the plastic willy....
where did they get the model for that??? If I saw that coming at me I would send it back (wiggling her little finger at me) - seriously not impressed!
laughs as she walks away! | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/29/2008 2:29:43 AM | Viagra?? 
Yeah, cheaper by the dozen and a free white cane in every box.
Being a penile enhancer was quite an accident. It was actually developed as a heart or circulation drug, and they discovered it had an interesting side effect. Another interesting side affect can be temporary or permanent loss of sight....
Great stuff. One shag and you too could be 'groping' ad infinitum.
Re small penis syndrome, if guys are hung up on the size of their willies, why dont they have silly cone implants the same as some women do in breasts?
Botox Penis anyone? Look mum...no wrinkles!
With or without botox, I still say the real thing is better than bonking a bed post or something. We used to turn the hose on dogs that humped anything other than another dog. Why makes it ok for humans?
(silly cone boobs)
(botox bananas) | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:12:04 AM |
Msg 100:
I still say the real thing is better than bonking a bed post... Oh sweet Jesus, "...bonking a bed post...", WTF?
Toto, we're definitely not in Kansas anymore...what...what type of bed post?
No, don't tell me...
There are some images I can't get out of my mind now...and they involve a POF poster and a 4-poster... | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:31:32 PM |
I still say the real thing is better than bonking a bed post or something.
OMG - you bonked a bed post? Boy, you are one easy to please girl. Personally I would never settle for anything smaller than a fence post. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:22:30 PM | | cucimbers , vibrators , dildos , fence posts ---- matbe if man was not so selfish and consudered his partner when making love --- then a thread like this may not exist | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:10:33 AM |
cucimbers , vibrators , dildos , fence posts ---- matbe if man was not so selfish and consudered his partner when making love --- then a thread like this may not exist
Um, the original post referred to women "not feeling complete" without a partner. Sooo......it's not a matter of men "being selfish" but of women not having a partner to scratch the itch.
But to address the thrust (!) of your post - if partners use toys it isn't necessarily a reflection of any inadequacy of their partners. Just some added ooooh and aaaaah....
I'm off now - gotta go find a smoothly polished fence post...... | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 9/2/2008 8:49:15 AM | | Well I guess if they can make a cucumber or a virator that can play with your hair, kiss your neck and your earlobes, caress your back, rub your shoulders, tease your nipples and graze fingernails down your back then by a dozen. If you can get a carrot or a banana to know when you are so close to screaming that it slows down a while just to tease you then buy them too. Billy Connelly says he remembers his first sexual experience, he was alone at the time. For me, well I reakon that orgasm comes right at the end, getting there should be a hell of a lot of fun and just might take hours........ I mean if I just want an orgasm I can take matters into my own hands. If I want sex then that needs another warm body. | |
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Hagars
| | Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 99 | |
| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 9/2/2008 9:06:51 AM | Saw a vid on you tube about correctly measuring things which makes me wonder how those who use such things as spoke exstensivly in this thread measure theirs?
I know your gonna say the package says its so long but I put to you this how many guys honestly say what size and from what way of Measuring.
Its interesting as a company might advertise say (whats enough)5 inches? but we don't know if their measuring it long way round which means only 3 0r 4 inches is actually doing anything. so in effect in this hypothetical your getting less bang than your thought for what bucks you outlayed.
Maybe us POF forumers could uncover a scam by correctly measuring what such things in this thread talked about extensively that there measurements actually are concerning what goes in?
We could if right go to consumer affairs and make an official complaint on being scammed. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:06:16 AM | If you can get a carrot or a banana to know when you are so close to screaming that it slows down a while just to tease you then buy them too.
Um, well...you see, that's part of the problem...
Slowing down kinda detracts from the whole moment.
If she's saying yes, yes and about to slip into the abyss of ecstacy... what on earth posesses a man to slow or stop??? There's teasing that tickles and tempts, and there's "Goddammit you fool ..and you wonder why we say you don't listen!!!!" teasing.
Turn it up.
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