| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:59:53 PM | For all who are wondering how the fvck I know anything about cucumbers... I worked in the produce section of a small country town supermarket... and the comments I got have scarred me for life
Yeah Yeah!! One wonders if you got the word wrong and instead of comments you meant actions. and cucumbers can't scar, rambutans, horse chestnuts, anything spikey will scar but not the smooth, cooly green, seedless (no need to use condoms then) cucumber.
Reasons why cucumbers are better than men.
You can feel your cucumber before you buy it.
Cucumbers do not complain when other cucumbers are in the fridge.
When all else fails you can slice your cucumber thinly.
SPF30............lol Ah how things have changed. In my day it was vaseline
if one is considering a fruity alternative with a much prettier colour and larger girth...aubergines....almost like an african...almost if you fancy greek you could rat-it-to-me...oh dear the jokes are bad today...must be the time of the growing season. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/9/2009 2:51:57 AM | yes but Men do not taste good between two slices of white bread, crustless and sprinkled with salt. It produces much the same reaction you get with slugs and the last time I ate a slug (aged below 4) my subconsciou remembers it was revolting.devil:
am I asking too much??? Probably. Shame you canna hydroponic healthy luscious men. | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/9/2009 3:49:17 AM |
yes but Men do not taste good between two slices of white bread, crustless and sprinkled with salt
never had a woman suggest that? bet he was glad you didn't want the chilli pepper ..... | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/9/2009 5:26:15 AM | I guess the secret is... how many times do you wash a store bought cucumber to get rid of all the toxic farm chemicals,bug and fungus sprays ?..
to eat one, you can peel the skin off to be safer...
that takes growing your own to a whole new level,eh?... how many girls peel their fruit companions before use?... | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:13:01 PM |
never had a woman suggest that? bet he was glad you didn't want the chilli pepper ..... Don't knock it until you have tried it...tis the same as using cocaine in many ways........numbingly, startlingly over sensitised.
how many girls peel their fruit companions before use?...
oh dear sir....I prefer mine pre peeled(no longer the fashion unless jewish)...some of the peels have the most oddest of shapes, long and saggy, short and tight, some are pretty, most are ugly, some look somewhat like those puppies with folds and folds of skin alluding to largeness hiding smallness...either way I would prefer pre peeled or if the skin is lumpy, bumpy etc...they can bring their own peeler and do it themselves.  | |
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| Cucumbers and Vibrators and other such things
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:48:16 PM |
That a cucumber wont get jealous if you get another cucumber from the fridge
A cucumber wont make you sleep on the wet spot
You can feel up a cucumber in the supermarket before taking it home
Cucumbers stay hard for a week
Cucumbers are easy to pick up
Cucumbers dont mind hiding in the fridge when your mother comes to visit
And how is a Cucumber different from a man ?????????????
ok grant you a cucumber cant stay hard for long but the rest is how it is | |
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