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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?      Home login  
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 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 51
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

If you are interested in finding a partner who you relate to, have companionship with and hopefully have a long term relationship with you may be willing to fork out a few bucks for the opportunity of having a potential life partner.


By that logic, I should be playing the lottery.
 Mish_Man
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 52
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:23:47 PM

I have approached the guy that I am having a first date with tomorrow, in advance, and said that I dont believe in the 'three date rule'
he is a sweetie and says : quote:

" no im ok,i dont expect sex like that,sex is good but so is a relationship,holding hands,kissing and cuddling.sex is only part of a relationship.so unless u want to cancel i will be there"

hey wish me luck, I might be on to a winner there


I do wish you luck. However, I'm not too surprised that talking with a guy beforehand to find out where he stands on the issue did work. Who know, maybe if you did that with the last guy prior to the events, things might have worked out ...


oh and all you cynical men out there, he has offered to pay too!


Ok ... I don't think anyone was mentioning or hinting that he or any other guy wouldn't pay. I always pay for my dates. I think that everyone's point was that associated that ALL guys want sex from women at the guy's pace is the same as associating that ALL women are just in the relationship for the guy's money. In both cases, it is parasitic conduct and really isn't condoned by anyone. As for the three dates rule, I think it was determined by a bunch of high school kids that don't have a clue - any rational man doesn't put too much creedence to it. I think BK was bringing it up since you asked what it was, not because he enjoyed practicing it.
 aka61
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 53
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:27:04 PM
no! BK bought it up first!! please see page 1.
 GreatRichGuy
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 54
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:29:07 PM
Good luck with your date and don't try getting in his pants right away
 Street_Rat
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 55
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:31:45 PM
Men are very driven by their sexual drive,women less so.Men will do many foolish things in the name of sex.Men value sex highly and women are definitely scored in a sense on performance,tehcnique,etc.Having good sex is important to men and if the sex is poor or incompatible then it certainly wont last.Men dont want to spend a long time in a relationship to find out that the sex is horrible or incompatible because to them its a waste of time.

Many men dont feel the 1st date is too early to have sex.lol Women on the otherhand are more emotionally driven than men and so the conflict ensues.It boils down to emotion/intimacy vs sex.Im not saying men arent emotional at but rather we place less emphasis on it and more emphasis on sex.

Though it should noted that to the men who push the issue of sex,doing so will do nothing but lessen your chances immensely and it will effectively end the relationship eventually if continued.This seems common sense but so many of my female friends relate many stories to me about many men who do this.

Another note to other men,forgetting about sex and just enjoying the woman's company is best not only for the relationship but ironically the sex comes sooner because women dont feel like youre just looking for sex.If they feel like thats what youre looking for they often times go into lockdown mode and worry about it and then you can forget about it for a long,long time until youve proven that youre not all about sex.
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 56
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:33:00 PM
aka...I'd like to echo spiderette's sound advice/wisdom, and I'd also like to suggest to other women to not go on money based dates, since no matter how carefully you try to do the correct thing, there are guys that will find something...anything, to use as leverage in the war to win the panties. I'm of the opinion that those first few dates should be about getting to know each other anyway, sans any money spent, and this way, they have absolutely nothing they can throw in your face as being "hypocritical, game playing, controlling, rigid and teasing". :)




hey wish me luck, I might be on to a winner there


Yay! I hope you'll both enjoy meeting each other!

Now, I'm hell bent on teaching you to quote, so here's your lesson, lol:

Copy that last sentence I wrote and then surround it with this formatting, but in the places between the brackets ( these things [ and ] ) and the text, remove the space I had to include...it would format if I didn't include the space, and you wouldn't be able to see what I'm explaining. This is the formatting, WITHOUT the spaces I included:


[ quote ] Now, I'm hell bent on teaching you to quote, so here's your lesson, lol: [ /quote ]
The command has to be closed, so at the end of your quoted text, you have to use the / because it closes the formatting.
(It works the same for italics, underline and bold, only you don't write those out, you only use the first letter, such as "i" for italics, etc. It would look like this: [ i ] Funny_Girl [ / i ]without the spaces between the word and the brackets...no spaces!)

So, to start your quote, you type this [ quote] "insert copied text here" and then you close the command by typing this: [ /quote]....only you do not use any spaces, as I did. That's it...it's so easy!

Hope this helps!
 Mish_Man
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 57
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:42:56 PM

no! BK bought it up first!! please see page 1.


Actually, I brought it up first in message #4:


Kinda makes it hard when the title of such thread is: why do men always want sex so early in a relationship? It's like saying, "Well, while I was trying to sleep with you (since, well, ALL guys do it), why were you just being a leech for my money (since, well, ALL women do it)" ... Generalizations are fun.


Note the above doesn't note any quid pro quo - all it was mentioning is that generalizations are fun. I explained later that the reasoning for using those two examples is due to that they are both parasitic. (and BK agreed ...)

Now Bk's response:


So are you saying you advocate going dutch until then? Otherwise, you're advocating a rather one-sided using relationship.


Actually, what he is saying here is still valid as well. It is still a one-sided using relationship when it come to paying for dinners - it is just that the other side is willing to be used. There's nothing wrong with that, and in fact is common in dating (I noted that I prefer doing that on dates), but it is still using. There is a fine line between parasitic and symbiotic relationship where the latter is fine and the former is an issue. To me, it usually becomes an issue when it is considered an entitlement. YMMV.
 GreatRichGuy
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 58
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:43:50 PM
Women can be worse then men when it comes sex, where have you guys been?

One date, well was not a date & I made VERY clear from the start.

This girl asked for sex, a kiss and you know I said 'NO'

Then she asked to give me a BJ

She didn't want to sit down as mates so she jumped on top of me!

I pushed the girl off got my keys and drove back to London from Wolves at 4am.

My ex, if I touched her she would say what are you doing? and then in the middle of the night I would find her take my****out my boxers and forcing it inside her, well what's going on there?

Can men win?
 TillyD.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 59
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:55:35 PM
Men aren't the only ones who need sex. Women need and love sex also. I "need" a deep thinker that can challenge me in conversation ,or a man who likes to cuddle in bed after a wonderful sexual experience but I don't need to know these things on a first date. I agree with not wasting six months of your life but some self control is a good thing.
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 60
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:18:44 PM

no! BK bought it up first!! please see page 1.


Actually... in the OP, you claimed that the trouble started when the guy tried for sex on the third date. So that's why I mentioned the '3 date rule' in particular as examples of what can go wrong if people don't communicate.

I have not claimed to, nor do I, follow the three date rule.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 61
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:29:47 PM
Eghads....please, please Forum Gods...don't let this turn into another "Who pays" thread!!!!
 TillyD.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 62
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 2:36:52 PM
Seriously, We all have some kind of issue. good girls, bad girls, boo hoo. I am sure we all think we get the short end of the stick in some way.It is called life.
 Street_Rat
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 63
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:05:56 PM

Women can be worse then men when it comes sex, where have you guys been?


America but apparently england is the place to be.
 Mish_Man
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 64
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:23:44 PM

Eghads....please, please Forum Gods...don't let this turn into another "Who pays" thread!!!!


Of course who pays is ...

Seriously, the only reason why I even brought up paying for dinner is due to that it can be seen for getting something if it perceived by the one receiving it as an entitlement. It seems like this guy was "going for the gold" because he had some perceived entitlement. To me, that is parasitic to a relationship since all should have give and take with all involved.

To bypass all of the "who pays" stuff, I mentioned that on dates I gladly always pay because in the grand scope of things everyone is contributing to the relationship and that no one is considering whatever is given as an entitlement. Once entitlements are assumed, my experience is that the relationship is about to end. To me, it sounds like this is what happened in this case. If more communication occurred at the start, would this have happened? Who knows - that like asking whose going to win in a fight of Superman versus Batman ...
 chill_esq
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 65
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:02:01 PM
Guys want sex early on because there are alot of women that want to date but don't want to get romantically involved and guys wind up stuck in these buddy relationships for months. So guys give it a few dates and just move on.
 pokerandpucks
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 66
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:24:04 PM
If a guy wants sex right away he's an ass.

If he doesn't want sex right away he's either gay, is in need of some viagra or cialis, or has a teeny weenie.

Personally, I'd rather be an ass.
 tavisha
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 67
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:30:41 PM
If a man keeps on asking me that i just tell him No and if he still persists i just tell me well great let us get married . That will stop the man from ever calling you again
 ValueSeeker
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 68
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:54:53 PM
C-deacon, I like you a lot! Good Answer!
 aka61
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 69
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:18:57 AM
glad to hear it BK

oh as to COMMUNICATION (and a previous post I wrote on this forum):

The guy I was supposed to be meeting tonight? ha! he cancelled after weeks of emailing and msn

why? perhaps it was because I told him that I dont believe in the three date rule!!
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 70
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:46:15 AM

I really liked the most recent guy, we hit it off in all ways, however on the third date he started dropping hints that he wanted to sleep with me that night. I turned him down and explained that it wasnt that I dont fancy him (I did), but that I want to get to know him better first.
I didnt hear from him again in the next couple of days (he had been texting a couple of times a day prior to the date), and so I contacted him, saying that I am very sorry but it is best if we finish the relationship. He has since been contacting me frequently 'arguing' about my turning him down, and still trying to get us back together.



So he came onto you, you rejected him, then you called him later on to break up with him? Sounds a little bit unfair to me.

That said:

Why do women always want sex so late in a relationship?


See? I can do it too.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 71
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:30:44 AM
First off, men are wired to want sex and it has nothing to do with a relationship although when the two work in tandum...it's the best.

You won't get the man you fancy by giving up sex, you'll only provide him with sex and will probably get additional dates...of sex.

It's a long process to find the right man just as it is to find the right woman. In the mean time, as a woman you'll find LOTS of us that want sex. As long as you provide it, there will be no shortage of men and BS that will leave you wondering.
 Elastaplast
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 72
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 1:06:22 PM
Most men are very basic predators!
When we are attracted to someone we don't have a million doubts about what we read in some dumb magazine or what the rest of the world thinks!
Nor do we have control over our animal urges!
And if it goes wrong it doesn't really bother us!
Shopping would be a great example!
When i go shopping i know exactly what i want before i leave the house!!
I go and get it in the least amount of time possible!
I'm very decisive and if it doesn't work out or my friends don't like it i really don't care that much for it to put me off!
Most women would Umm and Ahh for weeks asking themselves a million stupid questions! Like will the same shoe from the same supplier in the same shoe retailers fit if i try it on in another branch! (that one comes from an 8 hour shopping trip with an old ex)
It kind of comes down to vanity and insecurity two things most men don't suffer from!
Some women do but more and more are turning to the dark (and more exciting) side!
Life trully is too short to be indecisive!
 JonnyBoy239
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 73
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 1:19:38 PM
^^^^^^^^^^

Oh Jesus. Yes, us guys are just a bunch of stupid Cro Magnon....
 testlogin
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 74
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:34:01 PM
If I am looking for my eventual wife, I would prefer the woman wait at least a little but before having sex. Otherwise, I'll probably assume she's been with a ton of guys, especially if she's very attractive, and that's a real turn-off.

I think that the problem is that many women date multiple guys at the same time, and no guy wants to keep paying for dates with a woman who may be very well be sleeping with some other guy on the side.
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:22:19 AM
Um, because it's fun? I don't want to go to Disneyland and go straight to the gift shops.
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