Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 wannashakeyourtree
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 76
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I am a man. It is in my nature as a man to find a female I like the look of and mate with her as soon and often as naturally possible. I make no aplogies for this and hope that the O.P. appreciates this lesson in nature.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 77
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:45:36 PM
Well, my most recent "extended dating" experience was with a gal who I was terribly attracted to on all levels. It lasted 6 months. We never had sex. I never even got to see her naked.

In fact, as I think about it, all my encounters with women that did become intimate - I had sex with her within 24 hours of the first time I kissed her. For the others that I have kissed, if we did not have sex within that time frame, sex never happened.

So my learned experience is that quick progression is normal and necessary. :)

To wait does appear to significantly decrease the likelihood of it ever occurring.
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 78
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:43:50 PM
It is in a Man's nature to try. A lot of women will start thinking he does not find her attractive, if he doesn't try.

I have dated girls when I was just casually dating. And while we had fun on the dates, made out and I tried to seduce them, they made it clear they wanted to wait and be in a committed relationship first before sex. I respected that. And it made me decide if I really wanted to pursue her for her.

I have also had two gfs who I had Hot sex with in hours of meeting them. And we ended up being in a good relationship for awhile. Sex has a way of bonding people.
 martin-blank
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 79
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:24:10 PM
Agreed.. if the guy is digging your chili, then what's important to you should be important to him. If not then repeat after me:

"wow, what a timesaver"

If he wants to get to know your naughty bits before getting to know the person inside, then it's time to jettison the cargo..

Sex is honestly pretty easy to come by. Finding someone you really click with and see as a kindred spirit is not, and I assume that is your end goal.

A guy to whom you matter, will be focused on what matters to you..

Everything is a two-way street, but people should agree on things, not be emotionally-manhandled into giving in to the other person's predilections.
If he is that unilateral on this, which is a big deal to you, then you will likely have issues during the future meetings of the minds with him, should he even stay around that long..
It seems to come down to a lack of respect, and a desire to have what he wants over what you have indicated you want. Gotta go, gotta go....
 curveyone
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 80
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:34:16 PM
because they are horny???
 sxyvirgo
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 81
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:36:21 PM
I think people in general want to have sex whenever (or as soon as) they feel comfortable. Men likely get to that point sooner because they have far fewer physical fears and far fewer societal restrictions placed on them.
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 82
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:39:47 PM
Leaving the gross over-generalization out of the issue... most men tend to date women we are sexually attracted to. Thus, we desire sex with them. In fact, we want sex with them before there is a relationship, that's part of the reason we get into the relationship. If we didn't want sex early in the relationship, then something caused us to stop wanting sex between the time we met and the time when we didn't want sex.

HTH, HAND.
 curveyone
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 83
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:52:07 PM
Ahh. So why is it that even though I always pay my share of the meal, the guy STILL feels that he is entitled to more??


ummm...probably because he is a guy and most normal guys do try. they have nothing to lose and lots to gain.
 curveyone
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 84
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:56:56 PM
Well, my most recent "extended dating" experience was with a gal who I was terribly attracted to on all levels. It lasted 6 months. We never had sex. I never even got to see her naked.



are you serious?? WOW, that is just nuts and weird. actually surprised you would date someone for that long without any type of sex. i know i wouldn't and couldn't last that long.
 harveywallbanger
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 85
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:11:03 PM
Well I can tell you as a man that has a high sex drive I like sex early but that doesn't mean I'm going to use you or ditch you after. I once had a great 2 year relationship with a woman I had sex with on the first date. Some men just are like that. Men see sex and love as two different things in alot of cases.


About your Mr. Third Date.

He probibly misread you. See as humans you can say one thing with your mouth but the way you say it and your body language tells a different story. To him he probibly read it as, "I'm not interested in you passionately and I'm never going to be." Also, I have even heard this quote from women. "If there is no sex/love making by the 3rd date theres no passion and they arn't interested in you." Don't know if its true but alot of people use it as a rule of thumb.

You sound like a nice woman thats just having problems readjusting to the dating scene. Good luck.
 TheDirtyBen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 86
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:36:42 PM
The best explanation that I've heard on here, goes like this:

I want a woman that wants me as much as I want her.

That's not to say that you should jump in the sack with him by the third date. Many guys need to see, or more aptly - feel, that the relationship is making some kind of forward progress. Something beyond that of a platonic/friendship relationship. He is, after all, looking for "more than friends."

You can still take it slowly, yet show some forward progression.
 laidbackD
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 87
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:42:29 AM
Because it feels really good!! and it's alot of fun..


Daneil
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 88
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:56:53 AM
My spin on this is that at our age 40 plus alot of guys are probably assuming that because we've been there, done that we aren't going to waste time with the whole slow dating process. You stick to your morals until you find the "right" one.
 Benjamin1075
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 89
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:31:41 AM
"Is it me? am I abnormal?"

Are you abnormal because men want to have sex with you?


I'm pretty sure that's what most women have to deal with. That's why ya'll usually get to dictate the pace of a relationship early on.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 90
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:39:44 AM

Sex is honestly pretty easy to come by.


Incorrect.


Finding someone you really click with and see as a kindred spirit is not


Correct.

Truth of the matter, finding someone to be sexual with is terribly challenging for some people. If you add the requirement of the mutual click it becomes nearly impossible.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 91
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:44:30 AM

are you serious?? WOW, that is just nuts and weird. actually surprised you would date someone for that long without any type of sex. i know i wouldn't and couldn't last that long.


Being with someone who's company that I enjoyed and had hope that she would eventually open up on that level is vastly superior to the vast stretchs of guaranteed celibacy caused by singleness that both proceeded and followed that experience.

I don't feel like I have much power or choice or control when it comes to being able to experience shared sexuality.
 Urbanessa
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 92
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 12:56:50 PM
I am certainly not advocating jumping in the sack before both peeps are ready to do so, and I am somewhat repelled by anyone who thinks he or she needs to date by some weird rules. But women that are playing hard to get strike me as odd. It would raise the red "she's playing some power-freakish game with you" flag.

What's wrong with getting naked with a man if you are physically attracted to him? I don't get it. It's not the timing of having sex that defines a slvt - it's the reason that does.
 JonnyBoy239
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 93
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:05:06 PM
I fail to see how sex is hard to come by, for ANY human, living in even a moderate sized city. :confused:
 telcoman123
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 94
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:11:52 PM
Simple answer...becasue they can....

I am also new to this scene and I am a man. Not that I am looking for a quick hook-up..there are places i can go for that... but chemistry is chemistry. I don't want to have sex with every woman I go out with, but sometimes the fires are burnin...lol

We are all adults here, if a woman and a man want to have sex on thier first date then power to them. The problem comes in when having sex means more to one or the other...that is the big trap...I have learned to be careful with that one!

If you want to wait then wait, if he doesn't then he can move along. If he isn't willing or able to wait then perhaps he is not the right one for you!

Best of luck!
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 95
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:21:18 PM

I fail to see how sex is hard to come by, for ANY human, living in even a moderate sized city.


Lemme see if I've figured out your meaning...

Woman wants sex: Go to bar, announce willingness to have sex. Pick from the volunteers.

Guy wants sex: Go to bank, withdraw $1-200, hire hooker.

Yeah, I suppose sex isn't that hard to come by.
 JonnyBoy239
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 96
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:26:22 PM
You act like human sexuality is akin to Black Widow mating habits.

I control my own sexuality. Feel pretty sorry for those that won't, don't or can't.
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 97
view profile
History
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:54:36 PM
JB: I'm not the one who claimed sex is easy to come by for anyone. That would include those who are neither attractive, rich, powerful, nor famous. (Those would be the top priorities among women, at least as evidenced by their actions rather than their stated preferences.) Sex is really not 'easy to come by' for a guy. Even players have to work at it.
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 98
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:49:33 PM

(aka1961) I would really like to hear from a mans point of view here if possible


Sure. But, I'd like to answer your question with one of my own:

Why do (most) women seem to think that there's something shameful, nasty and dirty about sex?

Arlö
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 99
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:06:56 PM
(aka1961) Ahh. So why is it that even though I always pay my share of the meal, the guy STILL feels that he is entitled to more??


What's this "entitled to more" crap? Is HE the only one who's getting anything out of sex?

Geezus, get over yourself! Sex is a MUTUALLY ENJOYABLE experience (or it should be), not some sort of shameful degradation that a man wants to visit upon a woman! Nor is it the woman FINALLY consenting to commit some odious act to FINALLY gift some poor schlub!

Arlö *riggen*ratz*a*fratz*mumble*grumble*narfin*snarfin...
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 100
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:14:17 PM

(bk0069) Lemme see if I've figured out your meaning...

Woman wants sex: Go to bar, announce willingness to have sex. Pick from the volunteers.

Guy wants sex: Go to bank, withdraw $1-200, hire hooker.

Yeah, I suppose sex isn't that hard to come by.


He said it was easy to come by. He didn't say it was free. There's a difference.

Arlö (kids these days...)
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?