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 TakeMeTheWayIAm
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 76
A lot of women don't like sex?Page 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

MissEmpress: "Also,more practically when a woman has sex someone is coming into her body (no pun intended)...I think that is a lot more personal when you think about it."

I'm sorry, but no. It's not valid to say "*my* viewpoint on this means that it's more important". Okay, so a woman is entered during sex and this makes it feel personal to her. And in the man's case his penis is trapped by a vagina and this makes it equally personal for him. There's no difference other than perspective. It's just as intimate for both.

In fact, I could further argue that if it's a matter of trust try inserting all your fingers into a man's mouth and hoping that he won't bite down, causing you an injury. If you think about it, a man puts a lot of trust in you during fellatio since his penis is rather vulnerable in this position.

So a woman feels like pregnancy can occur and completely change her life for the next 19 years and many more. But the father's life will also change because he'll either get married as a result of that or have child support to pay for the next 18. If it's $500/month that's over a hundred thousand dollars in child support over 18 years. Trust me, the girl is not the only one who is interested in the outcome.
 1234rml
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 77
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:29:49 PM
Because men suck at it.
 gnuru75
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 78
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:46:58 PM
I think I somewhat understand your original post. You seem to be questioning why women need some form of compensation in order to enjoy sex (emotional, behavioral, social status, financial, "special," etc...).

The responses I have been reading from women have been, basically & generally, "sex is more rewarding when I am compensated, sex in and of itself is simply masturbating with another person present." The responses from men have been, basically & generally, "No sh*t sherlock," and/or, "I am an accepting, sensitive male that believes the same way, not like all those other SOB's that treat you so badly. I feel your pain."

IMO social conditioning (in the past) is based on interpreting and judging (sometimes incorrectly, I primarily blame you religion) biological urges incorporated into group/societal survival. Norms, mores, laws, are generally put in place to protect the society rather than the individual. Over time individual behavior works to reinforce the norms, mores, and laws of the past as that individual identifies themself as an integral part of the group. These change slowly but surely due to success and growth of the society/group, integration/contact with other groups (and their norms, mores, and laws), and due to the effects of the norms, mores, laws affecting the individual in negative ways motivating a reinterpretation in order to feel part of the group again, and simple individual interpretation of static rules. i.e. generational "telephone game" of interpreted ideas, norms, taboos, mores. In other words, nature and nurture being a reciprocating cycle that is constantly changing due to genetic differences, technological changes, and the fallibility of people.

Sex guarantees the survival of individual genes, fulfillment of biological imperatives, yet also guarantees the survival of the group/society. Therefore, IMO, individual motivations of behavior (in this case perceptions/actions regarding sex) are defined by the individual interpretations of the societal norms, taboos, laws, and mores that have been accepted in order to individually, and comfortably, function within a (generally subconsciously) personally defined group.

My opinion and point is, basically, women need to be compensated due to socially reinforced biological motivations and principles.

As to "I find him attractive, I like him, but I wouldn't have sex with him!"
I can only refer to this as a byproduct or symptom of what I typed earlier.
It could be the guy offered her nothing compensatory and she ran the situation and his body language through her group/societal subfilters and realized it would simply be "masturbation with another person." It could be because you were with her, you are part of her "group."
Therefore, if she had sex with him simply for the sake of sex it is possible you may judge and ultimately ostracize her. The potential for this could have subconsciously motivated her to verbalize this how you typed it. In other words there is not enough compensation or, potential to shift societal groups, in order for her to pursue her individual desires.
The fact she said "I want it to be special" basically showcases (IMO) her need for some form of compensation.

Her kissing another girl may be a perfectly acceptable validating behavior in the group she identifies with. Or she may have been drunk enough at that time to have loosened the morals, taboos, mores, laws, that are generally reinforced. In other words kissing the girl may have had less potential negative consequences, or possibly greater validating emotional compensation, than having sex with a stranger.

IMO kind of like how cooperation is generally ignored in favor of focusing on competition, people tend to focus either on compensation or consequences rather than see how they both play a part. Not to mention how social/group factors play just as important of a part in individual desires in terms of behavior.

I tried to keep it shorter, so I jumped around a lot. Sorry.
 princess-fifi
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 79
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:08:15 PM
X-file you say that "If women dont have sex men begin to cheat and find someone more 'giving' . The reason this happens is because the woman controls sex as if she knew exactly how much is enough for the man. If she is right things will work, if not, i can only describe her actions as cruel. If women wonder why some guys cheat...well there is your explanation"...

My quote thingy's aren't working today.....grrr!!!....X-file, regarding your comment above about the woman 'controlling' the man by withholding sex, seems to me HE is guilty of the same thing, where if she doesn't 'put out' when it suits him, he will just 'assume' she is being cruel on purpose and leave or even worse, cheat on her, so her reasons are completely disreguarded......seems to me he is 'assuming' she is rejecting him and not 'trusting' her word for wanting to wait.....makes you wonder who is controlling who here???.....

If a couple are just starting to get to know each other, imo, there should be no 'expectation' from the other.... imagine a woman, after a couple of dates wanted to be your girlfriend, and you explain to her that you would like to get to know her better before taking that step, then as a consequence, she feels rejected, thinks the worst and leaves or cheats on you, how would you feel??...

I dont know, i just think that if a man in concerned about a woman not being 'sexual', he just needs to address this with his date in a non threatning manner, and if she reassures him that when she feels comftorable enough with him, she will be his little 'sex goddess' and that she wants to be intimate with him on an emotional level for her to really appreciate the experience, shouldn't he just trust her on that and 'assume' that she is being sincere, if there is no evidence to prove otherwise????...
 novascotialass
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 80
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:14:58 PM
I guess if your definition of liking sex means wanting to do it with anyone who is attractive and not liking sex means only doing it with someone with whom you have emotional attachment, then most women would fall into the second category (not all of course).

I don't think it's social conditioning; my body does not turn on unless I have an emotional attachment with someone.

If a woman says she likes someone and is attracted to them but wouldn't sleep with them, there are probably reasons why that you're not privy too...We'd have to know the situation to figure it out.

It's interesting to me that it would frustrate you that a lot of women are picky; presumably you worry that it will be hard to find a woman who will have sex with you...I wouldn't worry about that; with time you'll likely find someone who's really into you and you'll have confidence that she is into only you.

On the flip side, I worry about being in a long-term relationship with someone who is fantasizing about any woman they find attractive even if they don't know them. As a young woman I just figured men and women had the same outlook on sex, but after a couple of relationships I realized just how different I was from them. One guy told me that he could have sex with any woman, even an ugly one, as long as she had a bag on her head. Another guy told me that it takes all of his will power to not sexually attack attractive women (we'd been together for more than 10 years when he blurted this out to me). In both these cases these men did not understand why this would bother me....Just to say, it's not so easy for us either.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 81
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:24:30 PM

But, your point (or what I perceived it to be anyway) was that a woman was responsible for giving herself an orgasm when she is having sex with a man. My point (and a few of the other ladies' points as well) was if we're supposed to be responsible to make sure we get an orgasm anyway, why not cut out the man and make sure we get one ourselves?


A woman should be responsible for her orgasms. You took that to mean something different than what I meant by it. By responsible I meant that if the guy isn't pleasing her, she should say something.

A lot of women don't say anything. A lot of women don't even know where their G-spot is. Some women think they urinate from their vagina! A lot of women haven't experienced an orgasm whether with a guy OR on their own! If woman hasn't experienced an orgasm on her own, and doesn't care about finding out what works for her, what can you conclude? Answer: she must not care or like sex that much. Someone, please show me that I'm wrong. And while you are doing that here are some stats for you (from 2007):

70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm with a man.

Nearly 50% of men have partners that will NEVER ask for sex.

92% of women will FAKE ORGASMS just to “get it over with”.

So whoever said this was some how my personal experience, which it is, ought to also look at those stats! Do these stats say most women like sex?



Then you said, "If it really doesn't matter to you whether it's the toy or a real penis, why not make a guy happy?" Why on earth would any woman do that?


Pleasure, that's why! Why on earth do you go shoe shopping whenever you have free time? Because you like it.

And if you don't like something, you generally avoid it, and don't do. Which is exactly my point about women and sex.



Example, "Hhhhmm...this guy is attractive, but I know this is going to be a one time thing and he only wants me for sex. There is a possibility that he could be terrible in bed and I might not get any pleasure out of it anyway.


He could be terrible in bed. He could be excellent in bed. You don't know which is the case until you get in bed.



On the other hand, I could just go home and use a toy and make sure I get TONS of pleasure!! No, I think I'll have sex with him just to make him happy even if I'll never see or talk to him again and I get no pleasure out of it.


So you get tons of pleasure from a toy, but not from a penis? And if you do get pleasure from a penis, then you are not only making him happy, and you are also making you happy. You don't like being happy?



Please tell me you weren't serious with that comment!


Death-serious. But you missed the point. I was merely making a point. I'm not saying it should be done.



The difference is that at least you would know that both of you had invested time and energy into actually having a real relationship with each other and it just didn't work out in the end. It wasn't some cheap tryst, it actually meant something to both of you (in most cases anyway).


Which begs the question, why do women desire relationships so much? Women would actually put off sex for a relationship... which if you think about is a darn good excuse not to have sex. Can you explain why a relationship is a must in order to have sex?

For a women, is attraction enough to have sex with a guy?


No, I wasn't talking about "vagina mileage". I was talking about the fact that she was willing to go to bed with anybody and everybody that wanted to sleep with her.


If she goes to bed with whomever she wants, I see no problem with that. If she goes to bed with someone because that someone wants her to, I have a problem with that and therefore a problem with her.



By the way, she could be wanting you because none of the other guys wanted her after knowing how many men she had actually been with, so she's settling for you since you'll accept it.


If they don't want her just because of the number of men she has slept with, I see it as their loss. If they didn't want her because of her personality or because of something else... like an STD, then I would not want her either. Obviously I will have make a judgment call.



I couldn't agree with you more on that one. However, the sad truth is that the guy that told me that is not the only guy that feels that way AND he is not the only guy that has told me that.


F*ck'em... not literally of course. Why are you wasting your time with guys like that?



My point is, believe it or not, there are plenty of weird men out there that think this way.


Okay. Why do you care about their opinion?



X-File, I don't want a man to stay with me for having sex with him... maybe you just hit the nail on the head. hmmmmmmmm Playing with toys does not give a woman zero chance of ever getting a man either. Some mean may actually want a woman that dont put out on the first date.


I wasn't actually suggesting it. I was simply making a counter point and wanted it to be ridiculous or more ridiculous than the original point. Come on... give me a break! Lets get back to the real issue here.



To use a very crude, but very apt saying, "You open a woman's legs and her heart falls out"!


Which would explain why they don't like sex.

deerdog1, the stats above more or less confirm your view. I have heard from many guys who got married that the honeymoon is the highest sexual period. From there on, it's down hill.
 shieldvulf
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 82
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:37:58 PM

I'm sorry, but no. It's not valid to say "*my* viewpoint on this means that it's more important". Okay, so a woman is entered during sex and this makes it feel personal to her. And in the man's case his penis is trapped by a vagina and this makes it equally personal for him. There's no difference other than perspective. It's just as intimate for both.

There's another reason for you, ladies!

TakeMe, when you rationalize away another person's experience because it doesn't jibe with your assumptions or your convenience, you engage in the most contemptible sort of condescension and control freakery. In this case, MissEmpress is right in line with mainstream thinking on the question, and you are in the nuthatch. To be penetrated is to have one's ego boundary, one's experience of the line between 'me' and 'not me,' compromised. It has been understood and felt for millennia as a "receptive" and submissive role. As we very well know, penetration can be forced on anyone, whether they want it or not, whether they are aroused or not. OTOH, no one can force you to penetrate them if you are not aroused, and it's daunting even then.

MissEmpress, the book you might want to take a look at is Intercourse, by Andrea Dworkin. It is a work frequently misunderstood as hostile to men and sex, which it is not. Instead, it explicates this very question better than I've seen anywhere.

As to OPie's question - or, really, OPie's assumptions - women don't talk about giving or allowing sex because they don't like sex. They are accurately reporting the only options they have when singleminded hound dogs are pawing at them every goddam minute. Stupid men (and many of us smarties, sad to say) just won't give it a rest.

And I'll prove it to you, TakeMe. Next woman you take out, for however long you take her out, let's just see if you can let her make the first move. I don't care if it's a year later. Just decide now you won't so much as steal a kiss, but leave initiation to her - And no fair telling her!

Every woman reading this is laughing and thinking, "Are you kidding? A man can't go five minutes without trying to tear off a piece." Given that our brothers behave this way, maybe you and OPie can figure out why it isn't inviting or flattering when you do it.

Cheeses!

Vulf
 Prissymae
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 83
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:46:10 PM
^^^^^^^^Dude - right on
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 84
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:02:06 PM

As to OPie's question - or, really, OPie's assumptions - women don't talk about giving or allowing sex because they don't like sex. They are accurately reporting the only options they have when singleminded hound dogs are pawing at them every goddam minute. Stupid men (and many of us smarties, sad to say) just won't give it a rest.


Yes, there are those instances too. I can't emphases the importance of "too". However the cases I'm referring to are the cases in which women feel proud to have allowed sex.

The cases you are talking about are more in the realm of rape. And what the hell is a woman doing staying around a guy who would do what you have suggested?



And I'll prove it to you, TakeMe. Next woman you take out, for however long you take her out, let's just see if you can let her make the first move. I don't care if it's a year later. Just decide now you won't so much as steal a kiss, but leave initiation to her - And no fair telling her!


Oh boy, are you going to regret that! In my younger years I did exactly that. Do you know what I learned? Most women will never make the first move. Do you know what else happened? I had to deal with rumors that I was gay because I didn't "come on to her"!

May be you didn't get a chance to read the stats. Here they are again:

70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm with a man.

Nearly 50% of men have partners that will NEVER ask for sex.

92% of women will FAKE ORGASMS just to “get it over with”.


Oh what the hell, I'm going to hell anyway...

http://family.jrank.org/pages/1103/Marital-Sex-Decline-Sexual-Frequency-Over-Time.html

In particular notice this:



The majority of studies also find that the longer couples have been married, the less often they have sex (Rao and DeMaris 1995; Samson et al. 1991)."
 honeyhair
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 85
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:47:04 PM
Went to the trouble to read the source material before responding but cant help it - my initial reaction is still the same! What a crock!

The majority of studies are bound to find that the longer couples have been married the less often they have sex but where do they trace the cause to women not liking sex as the OP seems convinced of? From my personal experience, I am much more likely to have sex frequently with a man who didnt forget to stop at the cleaners when Ive had a hard day, when I didnt have to talk to his mother for an hour, or when we dont have differing opinions on how to deal with our children. Liking sex comes from within the individual and has very little to do with the mechanics of mating.

Give me a man who can make love to me with the head above his shoulders, and the one below the belt will be just fine.
 DaisyGirlKY
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 86
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:15:43 PM

70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm with a man.

Nearly 50% of men have partners that will NEVER ask for sex.

92% of women will FAKE ORGASMS just to “get it over with”.

Well I guess I'm from a different 'lot'.
I'm definitely not in the aforementioned 70, 50 or 92 percent groups.

My ex husband used to complain when I would come into the bedroom and wake him up (nicely mind you) early for sex. We worked opposite shifts and when I was getting home from work he was usually leaving . So, yeah, I stopped initiating then because it wasn't worth being snapped at. See... goes both ways, it's not just men who get turned down.

Before I gave up completely on trying I did give him some real reason to complain. I'd crawl in the nice warm bed in the dead of winter and stick my freezing cold hands and feet on him telling him I needed to get warmed up.
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 87
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:11:26 PM
Shieldvulf, you rock! It's different for a girl. Who said that again?

N.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 88
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:56:01 PM


The majority of studies are bound to find that the longer couples have been married the less often they have sex but where do they trace the cause to women not liking sex as the OP seems convinced of?


Okay let me make the connection. Generally, a relationship consists of a man and a woman. Most men by nature do not lose their sex drive way until their 70's. Therefore... you can probably fill this part in.
 Amy32223
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 89
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:57:22 PM
x-file,
Your last post reminded me of a study I heard about some time ago. I did a bit of searching and was able to find it for you. The following quote is from an article that reports on this study.

"Based on data from more than 17,000 respondents in 28 countries, researchers found that live-in boyfriends perform more housework than married men because cohabiting couples tend to split housework more evenly than married couples. After marriage, however, women take on a larger portion of household chores. Most studies of housework suggest that on average married women do about twice as much housework as their husbands even after controlling for employment status and other factors."
To read complete article: http://www.physorg.com/news107706169.html
Another article mentioning the same study gave these statistics:
"Overall, men averaged 9.41 hours' housework a week and women 21.13 hours."
Unfortunately I was not able to find a copy of the study itself.

Perhaps this is a reason for the decrease in sex-drive in women after being married for a number of years. Maybe they are just too tired to do it!
 Twila64
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 90
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 12:29:38 AM
(IMO)I think you are misinformed,I personally have never met a woman who did not enjoy sex.However most of us are discerning about WHO we have sex with. We are thinking entitys able to reason, not a **** in heat. With all the wonderful TOYS available now in days there is no reason to have sex with somebody you would not consider a worthy partner.
 Twila64
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 91
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 12:44:27 AM
I thought I would mention that like another female poster,I too was with a man ( 9 yrs) who seemed to have virtually no sex drive ( very frustrating) I like it about 3 or 4 times a week he would go a month before he would finally put out,Oh and he would with- hold it if he was poed at me.Big mind fuc good riddence!!
 aspiring_angel
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 92
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:14:53 AM
X_files, Another reason women don't just sleep with a guy, simply because it may feel good, is because of safety.

Women are by design, the weaker sex and vulnerable to the stronger sex (males). The point in getting to know a potential mate is not simply to see if he is viable relationship material, but also if he can be trusted. (i.e. wont abuse her, rape her, give her an STD, etc.) To simply have sex with someone because it feels good, prior to knowing them, is counter-intuitive.
 lalby
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 93
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:47:42 AM
I think you may be reading into things too much!
The only women i can imagine not having sex are my mum n nanna
I think every other woman loves it.
 novascotialass
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 94
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:55:07 AM
When I am emotionally involved with a guy, the fastest way for them to turn me off sex is to start complaining that my interest isn't as intense as theirs and that there must be something wrong with me.

Ever try participitating in a sport or other leisure activity with someone who insists they are more interested and better than you are? Would you want to do that activity with them or with someone who says, thank you, that was really fun? Mightent that second outlook encourage you to participate more often in that activity with that person?

Sex is supposed to be fun for all involved. If one person starts making it an obligation to reach certain goals, like in terms of frequency or number of orgasms reached, then it ceases to be fun for both parties. I say, be respectful to your partner on the nonsexual front, and make sex the light-hearted, playful experience that it is meant to be.
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 95
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:27:42 AM

70% of women have NEVER had an orgasm with a man.


I actually think the percentage is higher, and id change that to say 'never had an orgasm via intercourse with a man'. Big difference there.

Alot of women dont like sex? Well,,the above is a good reason right there. When some women are unable to achieve orgasm thru intercourse, sex can get boring for those women. They get dry, and it gets sore. Not to mention, some women feel 'used' when this happens. Im only talking about THOSE women, not women who are into one-nighters and who really dont care.



On the other hand, I could just go home and use a toy and make sure I get TONS of pleasure!! No, I think I'll have sex with him just to make him happy even if I'll never see or talk to him again and I get no pleasure out of it.


Are you fricken kidding me?? That proves my point right there. Some women just dont care. lol Holy hell. *shakin my head* To each their own.
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 96
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 7:40:35 AM

Perhaps this is a reason for the decrease in sex-drive in women after being married for a number of years. Maybe they are just too tired to do it!


Maybe. But that some how doesn't seem to be cutting into their shoe shopping time. I know so many woman who go shopping at Winners after work!

And besides, if you really loved sex, and work was getting in the way, you can talk to your guy and hire a house keeper. There are solutions to the problem.



(IMO)I think you are misinformed,I personally have never met a woman who did not enjoy sex.


You are entitle to your opinion. I'm quoting stats and research which clearly indicates my point. It has been my experience as well. Perhaps you are miss informed. Women who like sex seem to think that all women like sex. The same phenomenon occurs with men... they think because they like sex, all women like sex.



X_files, Another reason women don't just sleep with a guy, simply because it may feel good, is because of safety.


Ladies, all of your concerns, perhaps with the exception of "want to be in a relationship then have sex" ARE also our concerns. No guy wants to get an STD.



To simply have sex with someone because it feels good, prior to knowing them, is counter-intuitive.


Actually it isn't. It's not save which different from counter-intuitive. There is nothing counter-intuitive about seeking sexual pleasure... unless you didn't like sex that much.

But suppose you are right. How do you explain that "Nearly 50% of men have partners that will NEVER ask for sex."? It means that 50% of women have never "come onto" their guys! Ouch. No wonder the porn industry is doing so well.

What about "92% of women will FAKE ORGASMS just to “get it over with”."? How do you explain that?



I think you may be reading into things too much!


I may not be reading into things enough. Perhaps it is a good idea to pick up that study from the library and checkout the relevant references.



When some women are unable to achieve orgasm thru intercourse, sex can get boring for those women. They get dry, and it gets sore.


You prompt me to do more research. I'm beginning to get the full picture...



Orgasm is a fairly automatic event for men - once a certain point of stimulation is reached, orgasm and ejaculation cannot easily be held back. However, about 1 in 4 of women with sexual problems said in the survey that they didn't have orgasms. Obviously, if desire is absent and arousal doesn't occur, orgasm won't follow. Even with successful completion of the first stages, some women still can't have an orgasm. While it can be reached by clitoral or vaginal stimulation during intercourse, oral sex, or masturbation, the actual climax is the much the same, and failure to get there is distressing. Quite a common cause in the USA is the use of anti-depressant medications, including the newer drugs in this class. (The role of medications in causing sexual problems is will be dealt with in a later article.) Another cause is pain on intercourse (called dyspareunia), which may itself have various causes - lack of adequate arousal and lubrication, vaginal infection, and so on.


Here is an article about women and anti-depressants

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080722/ap_on_he_me/med_viagra_for_women

Here are some stats about depression in women:

30% of women are depressed. Men's figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher. (National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). “The Numbers Count: Mental Illness in America,” Science on Our Minds Fact Sheet Series.)


More sex stats:

18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (Piccinino, Mosher, 1998).

Sex and Happiness Are Strongly Linked:

"For men, we know one thing: The absence of sex makes them unhappy. For women, it is not as problematic," says Edward Laumann, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago and lead author of The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States, the most comprehensive survey of sexual practices since the Kinsey Report.


Men and Women Approach Casual Sex Differently

Willingness to engage in casual sex "splits totally along gender lines," says Driscoll. In a University of Hawaii study, researchers had a good-looking guy and good-looking girl approach a student of the opposite sex and talk for five minutes. After five minutes, each student was asked one of two questions: When asked to go out on a date, male and female responses were identical: 50% of women and 50% of men said yes. But when asked to have sex, the answers couldn't have been more opposite: 75% of the men said yes and 0% of the women said yes, according to Driscoll.

Orgasms Are Different for Men and Women

While researchers find it tricky to try to quantify issues like the differing quality of male versus female orgasms, they do have data on how long it takes men and women to get there. Men, on average, take four minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation, according to Laumann. (Well, that's three minutes and 58 seconds longer than the average mosquito.) Women usually take around 10 to 11 minutes to reach orgasm. If they do.

That's another difference between the sexes -- how often they have an orgasm during sex. Among men who are part of a couple, 75% report that they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26 % of the women. And not only is there a difference in reality, there's one in perception, too. While the men's female partners reported their rate of orgasm accurately, the women's male partners reported that they believed their female partners had orgasms 45% of the time.

LOL!
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 97
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:05:36 AM
x file, your post is too long for me to be able to quote the normal way, so I'll try it this way: Shoe shopping... Every woman you know always goes shoe shopping? I agree that if she has time for that then maybe she should go home instead and have sex. About the 50% of women who never initiate sex... Maybe their husbands are repulsive to them or else they don't think it's 'proper' for the wife to initiate. Or maybe their husbands can't f***! Sorry, but in many cases that's it. Most men will take bad sex over no sex, most women will rather go shoe-shopping! :) About the 92 (!) % of women who fake orgasm just to get it over with... OMG! I have never and would never fake an orgasm. I very rarely orgasm during sex, so that's where masturbation comes in, but even without the O at the end, intercourse is still very pleasurable to me with the right man. Sometimes I know the O is not going to happen, no matter what, so I ask him to stop after a while (usually he's had his already), instead of faking one. That seems immature to me.
As to anti depressants: I had to go back on antidepressants a few months ago after having been off them for about eight years. I quit back then because I was virtually unable to have orgasms, or it took forever and the O wasn't as good as without the meds. Now with the new anti depressant I'm going through the same thing again, so I cut the dose in half. Things have improved. I might just go off the meds again altogether. I really like my Os.

N.
 coeurvaillant
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 98
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:23:09 AM
Yes I noticed that most women don't like sex. According to sexologists of this country,73% of the women in the USA are frigid ?
That was on Oprha show about men and women relation. One also mentioned that men in general last about 3 1/2 minutes ?
I am from France , living here for 30 years and still under the culture chockas fare as men women relation.
My point is , I knowq what women want in a relation , sex is part of it , yet, when men in "general" want to " use a woman for sex, and are rabbit, that don't help the communication look like to me .
I also heard men talking, and yes ,if she give it , she is a tramp, if she don't ,she is a pr.ck teaser ....
When you think about what religion, puritanism and so on is involved, I understand why so many don't like sex period.
What I wonder is , who started?
The men or the women ?
Most [probably the men as in a Phalocratic society we are the dominant one, and impose our views on the women.
Who is to blame?
We are ,as men , and I don't see the yong one betting better either.
I can heard all the time the rmaPkes about women . Looking at the boobs not her eyes, that tell you some thing , they are object , not a person, so yes may be the majority are frigid, and I find it to be sad, yet, who is responsable ?
Unless some teach theirs boys that a woman is more then a sex object , and teach them also how to make love to a woman, not to be selfish and wham bang thank you mam , may be we can change what is going on???
You tell me ?
 coeurvaillant
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 99
A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:28:19 AM
And by the way , no wonder all they are interested in ,is what job do we have , or what kind of money we are making.
As human being they have a void deep inside who need to be filled, if sex can't be satisfying, they need some thing to replace it, and money is the thing .
Think about it?
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 100
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A lot of women don't like sex?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:42:41 AM

About the 50% of women who never initiate sex... Maybe their husbands are repulsive to them or else they don't think it's 'proper' for the wife to initiate


I hope that isn't the case. It would imply that the man is only good for a paycheck that allows the wife to go "shoe shopping"! Men (and women) want to be desired for themselves, and if they're not desired by their mate, they may well look elsewhere. But that's another thread, no doubt. Shouldn't women who feel that way end the relationship and find someone who does appeal to them?

IMO, a woman who likes sex will initiate sex some of the time, especially when in a relationship. I would not stay in a relationship if that were not the case, because I'm not into dominating or controlling my partner.
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