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Posted: 8/19/2008 10:44:09 AM | Oh and I no i lost his trust.. but now hes questiong my love for him.. like if i really loved him i would have never doen this... and stuff like that.. i do love him so much and i no i will probably never have his trust ever again but i love him... he cant deny me that...
And where cheating starts for me... I think anything beyond kissing.. touching.. groping.. f***ing, thats cheating.. but my bf said that kissing is worse then sex cause its more meaning full! I dont think so at all! I kiss all my gf, i dont **** them, and this guy, hes my friends buddy from the night not mine.. it was jsut a stupid kiss | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 10:50:05 AM | """.. i no its wrong.. all of it.. im taking every consequence throughin at me.. Im not blaming anyone but myself...however i just need to figure out what to do about my situation.. i feel so alone and ****ed up.. I think he was just so angry with me.. he seen through the drunkness.. i dont no.. i just dont no what to do... Ya i no im a friggin idiot.. im dealing with it"""
I am not going to get mad at you. I think you have a drinking problem, and should probably quit. Everything you wrote about is very unspiritual. Find a spiritual path in life (doesn't have to be religion). If your BF loves you, he will help you grow and maybe he will quit partying too.
Otherwise, I foresee similar events happening every friday nite. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 10:52:53 AM | | hehe ... you got GRUDGE F*CKED! | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 10:55:01 AM | | Well thats just it.. I have every intentions on changing.. this is a huge smack in the face! HEY STOP WHAT YOUR DOING AND GET SOME FRIGGIN HELP! So thats what my intentions are after this is over.. i mena this by the court date.. BLAH! I know i need to change things.. i just need my bf right now.. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 11:11:26 AM |
and so i think why he never offered is casue i had to work in the morning and he didnt want to drive me all the way back to town at 8 n the morning for me to get my car and go to work
OP, this shouldn't have mattered, if he truly LOVED you this is something he SHOULD have done for you. Any truly loving partner would make this sacrifice for their loved one just to keep them from harms way. IMO, he's a thoughtless selfish a-hole. He knew you were very drunk, and anyone with half a brain knows the consequences of drinking and driving and if her REALLY cared he would have done whatever he could have to protect YOU and others on the road. I have the tendency to believe he did know that was a cop and he was setting you up to get caught driving for your indiscretion. Granted he may have actually "had" the cop park there, but he must have known it was and so he just figured you'd get busted. Now since you haven't heard from him since he last banged your then "perhaps" he's thinking you got what you deserved for screwing up by kissing that dude and now he's gone and that was his last farewell. I'm sorry you brought all this drama upon yourself, but unfortunately all this is here and now and has to be dealt with and if he is gone, then you're better off without him. "I" would NEVER let a loved one drive after drinking knowingly, not only for their safety but for the safety of others on the road and to prevent them from getting a DUI. Hope all works out well for you OP. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 11:19:45 AM | migivadamsbusted...how special you must feel! To be able to lord your (and your friends') common sense over all!
Unlike many I have common sense... Can you say sanctimonious b*tch? | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 11:35:35 AM | Alright my dear girl there are two things about your boyfriend that strikes me odd. 1.) His putting you in harms way as far as driving that night. 2.) Not mentioning the fact that you have a drinking problem and trying intervention with you. People who love you may or may not have brought this up to you I don't know. The fact that you recognize your problem is the first step. If your boyfriend also has a drinking problem then stay far away as possible until he also gets help to support you both.
Either way you were taken advantage of by him. He got revenge in the meanest fashion ever. He knew there was a policeman there and he had grudge sex with you.
Anything else...he is a slim bag. Sorry, I do feel for you,,decisions made under the influence are not usually good ones.
I wish you well and truly hope you follow through with AA
Take care | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 11:36:41 AM | Livin large you need HELP alright. Help getting your priorities straight that is.
I am about to give you the lecture that your mother should have given you!
First off, just forget about your damn boyfriend for a minute and focus on what should be the most important concern in your life. YOUR DAUGHTER
You are only 23 ....so some of your stupidity is excusable. However, because you are also a mother at this young age, you do not have the luxury of making bad choices that could have an impact on your daughter as well.
Be grateful that all you got was a DUI charge, and that you didn't end up in the morgue.
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Posted: 8/19/2008 11:55:06 AM | Well your mother is wrong, like I said before. He is NOT the best thing that's ever happened to you, he is just one more symptom of your messed up head. She doesn't want you do lose him? You should be trying to lose him. I think that if you do get the help you need, this will become more clear to you. Do you see how many people have commented on the fact that he encouraged you to drive drunk? Do you think that's what a guy who cares about you does? There is no way to defend his doing that.
Like I said, your priorities are twisted. What you did is still of no concern to you, only that you might lose your loser boyfriend.
I've got news for ya too...you didn't "lose" his trust, you never had it in the first place...otherwise why was he sneaking around and watching you from a distance? How long was he watching you? All evening, I'd bet. Of course you won't ask him why he was spying on you in the first place, will you? | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:03:31 PM | | Shaking head here... What a mess. First off, It pisses me right off, that you took the liberty to drive, not caring about anyone but your stupid bf. Had you accidently "killed" an innocent bystander, no punishment would be enough. If he cared anything about you, he never would have asked you to drive in that condition. If you cared anything about yourself, you never would have drivin in that condition. I mean, REALLY C'MON... You should choose your friends more wisely. To cut loose once in a while is one thing, but you cant let all your brains be flushed down the toilet. In reading thru just the first page, there were only 3 comments about your bf doing you all day after that. Lordy, Lordy... What IS this world coming too? No respect for yourself, no respect for the bf, and vise-versa, and absolutely no respect for the law. Wise up darlin! My opinion is, learn from your mistakes, Thank God you didnt kill someone, and move on. He apparently doesnt care. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:26:06 PM | I completely understand what I did was wrong.. Like I said before... I feel sick that i could have hurt someone else. I dont want to hurt anyone.. For whomever wants to say whatever about this.. The hole thing of if i hurt myself dosnt matter to me.. ya i no hole new topic but im stating I have a severe depression and suicide so its not a big deal to me if i hurt myself however i never thought i would hurt anyone else.. I would never dream to dare to think of hurting any one else... You can say whatever you want about my deranged suicidal mind which is fine but i cant help how i feel..
For the one who commented on my child.. thats all i thought about after wardfs.. my daughter is my life and im scared of what happens next with her... we live on a mountain 40 min from town.. how is that going to help her now that i have no license to get to town... I understand i ****ed up and i am ****ed up and I need help... I get alll this... thats what im going to do after court.. .help myself.... i no im a **** up.. But im trying what i can so it wont effect my childs well being... | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:27:47 PM |
I have every intentions on changing
Well, what's stopping you? You're online right now. It's aa.org. Visit it! Find your local office and give them a call. You can be in a meeting in less than 24 hours.
And for Pete's sake - learn how to spell and capitalize. Also, it's "intention OF changing."
Oh, just an FYI: less than 10% of all relationships make it through somebody going through recovery, so you might as well dump "Mr. Helpful" right now. Stop whining. You do not NEED him. You need fresh air and somebody to watch your daughter while you're at meetings and to GET SOBER.
Sorry for the lack of compassion, but I've put up with one too many whiney addicts in my life. Poor you. Boo hoo. Grow up and start taking care of yourself. You can only sit on that pity pot for so long without somebody coming along and knocking you the f*ck off of it. Your turn is up. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:31:56 PM | LIVIN LARGE POSTED THIS
i just need my bf right now
HECK NO U DONT...
HE IS A TRUE DI CK
HEL I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER ASK ANYONE TO DRIVE DRUNK
I WOULD JUST GO GET THEM DRIVE THEM HOME AND WITH NO ISSUE WAKE UP IN MORNING AND TAKE UR HUNG OVER AZZ TO WORK
and im not all that...been where you are and back....have had my share of DUI's
and it took me a bad accident to learn....best freind now lives in a nursing home ever it all....yes i love to party still but never will i touch a vehicle after a few drinks or anything goes down my throat
turst me dump the dink....he can say all he wants he didnt think it was a cop...if u could see it and say it to him...he should right there tell u forget it ...
IM ON MY WAY ....
Good luck | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:33:26 PM | Windchick, Thanks for the website.. I was going to wait untill court was over but since I have my licence for the next 20 days maybe this is the best time to do this and while my child is with her other family too..
And truthefully im not looking for compassion Im looking for help and you gave it.. Im not looking for some one who says oh its ok and shit like that, I know i did wrong, now i need to deal with it. But Thank you! | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:35:23 PM |
I get alll this... thats what im going to do after court.. .help myself....
It will probably help you out in court if you can demonstrate how you HAVE begun to sort yourself out.
Do the AA thing now... start NOW. Your life is now.... not some time in the future and if this happens or that doesn't.
Make your life better on your own. So YOU are the best thing that is happening in your own life. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:35:56 PM | Livin large you need HELP alright. Help getting your priorities straight that is.
I am about to give you the lecture that your mother should have given you!
First off, just forget about your damn boyfriend for a minute and focus on what should be the most important concern in your life. YOUR DAUGHTER
You are only 23 ....so some of your stupidity is excusable. However, because you are also a mother at this young age, you do not have the luxury of making bad choices that could have an impact on your daughter as well.
Be grateful that all you got was a DUI charge, and that you didn't end up in the morgue.
^^^^^^^^
OP I have a nephew who lost his mother when he was three. My sister never got to see her son grow up.
The more serious issue is drinking and driving. You are responsible for your choices, drunk or not. You should be damn thankful the cop was there and nothing more serious happened. Morgue's are ugly cold places for anyone to have to see. What if you'd hit and killed an innocent person? Prison isn't fun either.
Can't say I blame the boyfriend (except for telling you to drive drunk - tho I think he might have known the cop was there) and as Baldy said "Grudge F@#K". But that should be the last of your worries right now. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:39:17 PM | Help you what? You want help getting back a guy who told you to drive drunk? Thank goodness you didn't kill someone, I have zero empathy for someone who gets drunk, gets loose then wants sympathy, much less someone who drives drunk. Zero. Get some help if you have a drinking problem, get some self-respect if you have low self-esteem but do something to get right with yourself and stop worrying about getting back a boy who thinks so little of you.  | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:48:19 PM | Is it just me, or does it seem like every single "Help Me", "I need advice", or "What do I do" thread lacks a person behind the keyboard that has the ability to type with an IQ above 47? There must be a reason you make stupid decisions.
Want my advice? Go back to school and better yourself. Dump the boyfriend, stop drinking, and focus on something that is not a complete waste of time. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 12:53:40 PM | I think you need to grow up. You should have known better then to listen to your****ead of bf and not have gotten behind the wheel. Now you have to deal with paying the DUI and all that crap.
No sympathy from me either. You made your bed, now you must lay in it
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Posted: 8/19/2008 2:27:17 PM | | Thank you to all who have a good word or advice for me! Muchly apreciated! I called AA in town today, and luckily they have a all ladys night meeting tonight! So Im going at 6 tonight.. So thats step one.. step two.. wrote my bf an email stating to look at the bigger picture.. Not stating i blame him for the drinking and driving, becasue I dont, but just stating Hey, what could have happened.. are you ok with me being gone foreever casue that could have happened.. or what if i killed someone.. there are other things to look at instead of this kiss.. like me getting help and needing him in this time that i need him.. Any ways.. Thank you to everyone who listened and replied! Lots of love... | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 2:35:10 PM | " like me getting help and needing him in this time that i need him.. "
Listen to all of the advise that has been given to you here. You do not NEED him to help make things better for you, you need YOU. I don't see him helping you at all.
I know your trying to say all the right things right now and I truely hope you hit up those AA meetings. But you also should seek counsling for the depression and to find out why you make the choices you make.
Concentrate on your daughter and yourself right now.
Go back and read what everyone wrote again. Don't just read what you want to hear but read all of it and look at the common thoughts everyone but you are having. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 2:43:25 PM | Okay..kudo's to you if you actually take that first step and walk into the 6pm meeting tonight. In regards to emailing a pity letter to your b/f trying to guilt him out over what happened...STOP IT NOW. This isn't about HIM. It's about YOU.
The support that you need will be waiting for you at your 6pm meeting..and everyday after. Your b/f cannot help you. Only YOU can help YOU.
Priorities...you need to get them straight, remember. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 2:43:51 PM | | Your young and have lots of learning to do. I am not going to jump all over you , as I am sure you had enough of that already. I will say however that you made the right move in going to a meeting, and I wish you well in recovery...use this as one of those "life lessons" and try to learn something from it. | |
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Posted: 8/19/2008 3:09:28 PM | """First off, just forget about your damn boyfriend for a minute and focus on what should be the most important concern in your life. YOUR DAUGHTER""""
Daughter? Now there is a daughter in the scene? Was she born in the holding cell or what more can this story hold? Yeah FORGET YOUR BF, until you've earned one. A good one, not some party boy drunk driver who hangs out in a two story club and texts you for grinding on someone you were kissing.... I never have any fun like that.
"""is it just me, or does it seem like every single "Help Me", "I need advice", or "What do I do" thread lacks a person behind the keyboard that has the ability to type with an IQ above 47? There must be a reason you make stupid decisions. ""
No its not true I asked for help and got it and listened and it worked and I have an IQ of 48 or 49. | |
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