| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:38:33 AM | If we are not needed then what is our purpose for being in that relationship?
what about wanted!! i would much rather someone "want" to be with me than "need" to be with me
however semantics aside....
personally part of what i'm searching for is that "need" that arises when you're with that totally right person. not that i "need" your money, or "need" your security or i "need" you to take me out to dinner tonight, the "i just need to be with you", the how/what/where becomes irrelevant and all that really matters is the who. | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/21/2008 5:05:25 AM | Anything I am going to say here will be/might be considered as defensive as bubble boy might put it 
"As I said I am not trying to single you out, but your beliefs that it is mens ego's that are the problem says a lot about what kind of stereotypical behavior you cling too there, and the kind of social conditioned beliefs you practice"
----Speaking of stereotypical behaviour and social conditioned beliefs one practices here....alright , let me ask some questions and seek some clarifications.
"Simple compatibility does not take much other then a willingness to enjoy each others company."
----Really? Personally, I would find the company a torture if there is no attraction and not compatible in anyway to begin with. I don't think most"sensible" women or men would want to waste any of their time to torture themselves.
"I do see the same bad practices within both genders"
---What are the bad practices?
" But women have very different reasons for it. The reasons are what make some of them completely unapproachable."
----What are the different reasons? Why are they completely unappoachable?
"Men dont have a problem with women being independent. It has more to do with encountering women who preach their independence loudly and clearly in a way that makes men wonder what is the point in being around women like that. If we are not needed then what is our purpose for being in that relationship? Are we just a person of convenience for women to have that shoulder they claim that the don't need - but otherwise we should just be around to be bashed or judged? Because that seems to be men's lot these days."
-----Of course there is a great purpose to be in a relationship if a man and a woman truly enjoy each other's company , if they are drawn to one another in most ways and are compatible in more ways than one, it might be the greatest love affair to last a life time. I think it will take the type of men with great confidence , healthy ego and are a step or two above those "independent" women to be able to handle them and not perceiving/feeling they are being bashed or judged.
" All that conditioning that you admit women are exposed to brings with it a lot of negative practices as well. Women just seem to be blind to it. "
---Please clarify the negative practices how women seem to be blind to it(what?)? And how are women seem to want an illusion?
"If what we want is the same then why are so many of us living alone?"
----I don't think what we want is the same, that is why so many of us are alone. I think a lot have to do with age, maturity, compatibilities, readiness, the type of relationship one seeks and being at the right time in the right place and meeting the right match. There is no point of rushing into "a relationship" for the sake of being in one and feeling miserable, which is my take.
PS:
(And I don't think women are resentful for their ability to be independent .)
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:18:25 PM |
"I do see the same bad practices within both genders"
---What are the bad practices?
Viewing each other as disposable for starters.
That anything less then perfect is "settling"
That if a relationship is not magical or perfect or exciting 24-7 -- then it must be "torture". Unless its perfect then its not acceptable.
That women are supposedly independent now and men should just "get used to it" aka their role as second class people.
That the only men who are good enough for a relationship are those with "healthy egos that are a step or two above independent women". Women hold their own practices to impossible standards, and in typical elitist fashion only want a mate that is even more an illusion and "better" then they are. Are you not listening to the stuff that you are shoveling? Like I said before -- too many people are blind to their own negative social beliefs and what this kind of thinking will lead to.
Is that what women really want as the status quo? Fake paper cut out men from a magazine? Isn't that the same kind of behavior that women in the seventies accused men of? Of course now that women are doing it then apparently its ok?
Come down to earth woman. Become an enlightened human being. Because those are the only kind of people who form lasting relationships. Do you want a good man or a fake man?
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:29:23 PM | Is that what women really want as the status quo? Fake paper cut out men from a magazine? Isn't that the same kind of behavior that women in the seventies accused men of? Of course now that women are doing it then apparently its ok?
Yeah, appears to be a double standard there, doesn't it? See "Cougars"!
"Simple compatibility does not take much other then a willingness to enjoy each others company."
----Really? Personally, I would find the company a torture if there is no attraction and not compatible in anyway to begin with. I don't think most"sensible" women or men would want to waste any of their time to torture themselves.
Hmmm...the quoted part talked about "Simple compatibility", yet the response refers to NO compatibility as being torture. I guess the person actually agrees with the quoted statement but just had to rearrange their view of it to meet their means! 
Now, with that being said, how can any of us speak for anyone besides ourselves. Much like the What do men really want? thread, how can women (and many have commented) speak for men? Heck, how can any man speak for all men?
How can any man answer what women want? Just like how can any woman speak for the rest of their gender? Everyones different!!
At least puppet usually talked just about her own wants which is more appropriate! | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/21/2008 9:05:16 PM | ^^^I don't think that's selfish at all.
The only person you can really look after/control is yourself.
Well, you can look after others, but you can only control yourself.
Thus we each hold our own destiny!! | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:20:14 AM | How can any man answer what women want? Just like how can any woman speak for the rest of their gender? Everyones different!!
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Everytime I hear ALL men are this or ALL women are that, I just zone out
 It's so easy to paint everyone with the same brush, we 'are' all different. We would serve ourselves better to try and understand where someone is coming from. Bubble boy, maybe you should try taking people more on a case by case basis. Your views appear to be very generalized | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:52:11 AM | The topic is "what do women want" so in my humble opinion, the replies are going to be very general in nature.
Regards,
Mac | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/22/2008 8:19:03 AM | However, each woman can only respond for themselves, which some have. It's a question directed too a group of women looking for individual answers. I don't see how 1 person can speak on behalf of all the others.
Maybe the question should be "What do you as a woman really want? | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:04:15 PM | Dawn - generalizations are a normal way to discuss common group beliefs, idealogies and practices. If you consider yourself an exception and live to proof that then great. But the method of discussion does not make my comments any less true.
I'm trying to make a point about modern female sub-culture. The whole issue of elitism is that people start to think of themselves as deserving more then others based on some false set of parameters -- aka. they are women, they are prettier, they have more money, etc.Most never consider that there is anything wrong with their beliefs. Kitten is the primary example of that kind of thinking in this thread. But there are way too many women who think like her. If my shaking an elitists tree makes them upset and some others feeling defensive......oh well. I am not woman bashing. I am just questioing why some women feel entitled to think in such an anti-male, anti-social matter. Worse yet that why should any man stay silent about witnessing that kind of belief without challenging it?
I just hope that the women who answer this thread take a second to think about what they say they want, to be more critical of their own beliefs. If what any social group want is bad for society in general then someone has to say something, even if they are despised for doing so.
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:29:22 PM | Msg 29( Maple59),
"Simple compatibility does not take much other then a willingness to enjoy each others company." quoted bubble_boy. His whole sentence means " a willingness'' to enjoy each others's company" is same as having a "simple compatibility".
To me, a willingness to enjoy each other's company does not equal simple compatibility. But maple59 you and I understand English differently, you took "Simple compatiblility" out of that sentence to facilitate your own understanding of the English.Who knows, may be for you simple compatibility is having nothing better to do but to spend some time with some female(s) as long as she is willing to do so and maybe she/they has nothing better to do as well.
Msg 28( bubble _boy),
"Viewing each other as disposable for starters."
-----I agree, I think there is a lot of that going on in this "new age" dating era. Many men and women simple don't choose their potential partners/mates/boyfriends/girlfriends carefully. Therefore they dump when the relationship is stale, or when they find out that they are so far apart in many ways (not compatible), or when a better one comes along.
"That anything less then perfect is "settling""
----- Perfection does not exist. I don't know how you get that idea.
"That if a relationship is not magical or perfect or exciting 24-7 -- then it must be "torture". Unless its perfect then its not acceptable."
-------Where did you get that perception? I feel sorry for you if that is what you had experienced.
"That women are supposedly independent now and men should just "get used to it" aka their role as second class people."
-------Oh..don't be so sour. Ha!
"That the only men who are good enough for a relationship are those with "healthy egos that are a step or two above independent women". Women hold their own practices to impossible standards, and in typical elitist fashion only want a mate that is even more an illusion and "better" then they are. Are you not listening to the stuff that you are shoveling? Like I said before -- too many people are blind to their own negative social beliefs and what this kind of thinking will lead to. "
------- Your response twisted what I had said again. My reponse still is " I think it will take the type of men with great confidence , healthy ego and are a step or two above those "independent" women to be able to handle them and not perceiving/feeling they are being bashed or judged."
Please understand THE TYPE of men for the "independent women". Those type of men who desire, adore, respect the " independent" women because those women have no pretenses.
"Is that what women really want as the status quo? Fake paper cut out men from a magazine?"
------I am sorry you feel that way.:)
" Isn't that the same kind of behavior that women in the seventies accused men of?"
-------I don't think so , I think men are accused and condemned of even more worst behaviours! Ha!
" Of course now that women are doing it then apparently its ok?"
----The smart women are seeking "quality" men. Is there anything wrong with that? Are you having problems dealing with today's women?
"Do you want a good man or a fake man?"
----When I read the profiles on here yesterday there are many fake men around. Of course, all the good women want the good men but there are not too many available because most of them are kept by their good women. Ha!
Edited: Msg 37(bubble_boy), as I was typing this response and you were "bashing" me. I am so sorry I touched your nerves.
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/23/2008 5:35:07 PM | Don't be sorry. Just work on being a better person with more positive social beliefs then you currently have.
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:10:46 PM |
Many men and women simply don't choose their potential partners/mates/boyfriends/girlfriends carefully.
If we (women) are so independent, powerful, capable, etc. etc. then why aren't we choosing carefully. I agree with the statement and no, we're not choosing carefully......
I don't choose to make this personal and I've been watching and I feel that we may not always portray our true selves and those that we are considering are doing the same thing so we're actually choosing based on false information.
I truly believe that everyone does the best they can with what they have. That means on all levels - thinking, acting, feeling.
Bubble boy - I get what you're saying. It makes a lot of sense to me. I don't feel the need to defend my femininity or my power. I've been waiting for a while now to step back from that 1990's and 2000's view of a successful woman and take a more natural role for myself. Time to be comfortable - truly comfortable in my own skin.
We often are not actually choosing - we're just acting our way to .............. ???? (fill in the blank) | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:35:30 AM | Msg 39,
bubble_boy,
I feel sorry "for you" that you feel/think independent women are bashing and judging men .. etc... and all the negatives social beliefs that you have. You generalized, then you bashed me because I don't agree with all you said...thus I touched your nerves.
Please take your own advices to "Just work on being a better person with more positive social beliefs then you currently have". Also work on getting a healthier ego , then you might find the independent women wonderful/fun to hang around with.  ....and please don't "twist" what other people have said.
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:00:21 AM |
....and please don't "twist" what other people have said.
And that goes both ways!!! | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/25/2008 10:42:50 AM | I agree totally...its all about "wanting" someone, not needing them... accepting and loving eachother without judgement of what they have, or their past.
The past is just that. Leave it behind without bitterness
Opposites always did, and always will be attracted to eachother.
lol, isn't it good to be somewhat opposite of your partner anyhow? I know I don't want someone exactly like me..yes I like/love me, however...I want to grow as a person and live life thru my partners eyes, and for him to be open mind ed to do the same...
Sometimes cpls have to agree to disagree...that makes us individuals and we are all intiled to our own opinions | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/25/2008 10:46:10 AM | yeah ok Shaft, lol
we want a pony, so a man doesn't think we want him to cut our grass!  | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:14:02 AM | | Oh my, you're thinking about riding the pink pony, aren't you? Naughty girl! | |
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| What do women really want?
Posted: 8/27/2008 11:23:40 AM | ^^
.............sorry, it must be the company i keep!
o/t........i want the sumo wrestler from the subaru ad
the one at the end, who throws back his hair and lets the water go flying.
one of the sexiest male images i've seen on tv in a long long time! | |
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