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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have been married before - would you do it again?      Home login  
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 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 51
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
The all-time healthiest marraige I ever met was a colleague who had been married 17 years at the time. Kids were all teens. She and her husband were real partners and simultaneously real individuals. They had alone time, collaboration time, together time, intimacy time, parenting time. Most importantly they had admiration and respect along with their love for each other.

I hope that I have learned from the mistakes in my marraige that were my mistakes. Those are the only ones I can do anything about, after all. Yes, the first was my basis for picking, which included picking someone prepared to work through the relationship bumps that are part of any relationship. Or, maybe he already realized I would never become the dominant he wanted. I digress, I work on my relationship skills.

Will I marry as part of an LTR? So far it seems unlikely but life can sometimes surprise me.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 52
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:46:42 PM
Maybe. He'd have to literally sweep me off my feet.
 mikedanger
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 53
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:29:14 PM

Now imagine man of your dreams whom you know and love asking you to spend your life with him .. Not so bad to marry HIM, now is it..


the man of my dreams? hel, yeah, i'd marry him!

seriously: altho i AM totally against the thought of marriage, WHEN i met the love of my life, i was so ready to be married, i couldn't believe it!
 lostinthemusic
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 54
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:34:17 PM
Never say never or it will make a liar out of you!! I would, it would have to be with my twin flame tho. I won't count it out, there are other options to consider also.
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:38:50 PM
Absolutely I would get married again. I got married too young and had no clue what I was doing, I believe I have "grownup" quite a bit since then and have a better understanding of what it takes. Am I willing to jump right in? No. I realize it's a lifetime commitment and not to be taken lightly in anyway. If and when I do, I want it to be the last time. I believe in marriage. I knows couples who have been married 30 or more years and it's awesome to see them together, holding hands and smiling as if they were newly weds. I have even talked to them and they all say they had their trials, but they worked through them and are now in their "golden years" and it's obviously golden to them.

My reasons for getting married would not be the same as the first time tho. I am not a young girl looking for her fairytale "happily ever after". Well atleast not in the way the story books describe. Reality is far better.
 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 56
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:42:49 PM
Well after a 14 year bout of what is called a marriage ( I call it a sentence) I am 16 years into my "NEVER". I guess I really didn`t plan on it to be never, but after round one, I`m just real skeptical about the whole bonding, love, romance, partner thing
in general. I guess if I could ever find a man that I could really trust that his heart was in the right place, and that he really did care about me as a person, I would want him in my life. But those people capable of that are like needles in a haystack. It`s just very rare nowadays to find a partner capable of caring without alterior motives or injurious
interaction. It is safer to stay alone.
 andie66
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 57
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:59:11 PM
Been there, done that, got the tshirt which I promptly burned..lol

Seriously...would I get married again?...I cant think of one good reason why it would be necessary to mess up a perfectly functional, happy , healthy realtionship by attaching a piece of paper to it.
If the relationship lasted a very long time it might come to a point that financially it makes sense to become married to protect all interests but other than that why fix what isnt broke..

I can see myself being married...sure..but I can also see myself not married and just as happy ..maybe even happier. What my partner wants will play a big part in that decision as well...who knows...
the keyword is happy....find someone who makes you happy and live life to the fullest...dont sweat the small stuff!
 dbblonde2000
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 58
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:05:21 PM
As a hopeless romantic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Of course that means with the right person,,,,,,I would rather be single and wishing I was married then be married and wishing I was single,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I like to think every thing happens for a reason,,,,,and we learn by those experiences,,,,,,,,,,but Yes,,,,,,,,,,,I believe with the right person,,,,,,,,it can be a beautifull thing.........
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 59
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:11:49 PM
Get married again . Sure I would. My divorced wasnt abad one we made sure it wasnt for our son. Its been 13 years and I am still friends with him. If I need a favor he would be there to help. I just kow that i enjoyed being married. And I think the thing that scares me about not being either married or at least living with some is growning old alone. No one to sit on the front porch and watch the sun set. But heck ya need to at least date a little to even get to any other stage. But in answer to the main question Yes I would
 trailgirl
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 60
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:19:01 PM
During my divorce, I decided nobody but me was responsible for my happiness, and I was NOT going to let the actions of my ex limit or prevent me from future happiness. Move on, chin up, and enjoy the heck outta life! Just because marriage to him wasn't all that I'd hoped, has zilch bearing on the rest of my life
 bigdaddy1965
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 61
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:20:27 PM
i would like to say that i would be more then willing to do it again given the chance to. now i totally agree with what sweetjemgirl said. she bascially took the words out of my mouth. now yes i have been married twice to same women and divorced twice. i still feel like its still out there that chance to do it again. yes i was young and yes i dint have a clue about marriage and how to make one work. now i can say i have better insite on it now. so i think its just a matter of what it is you want in life. what ever it is go for it and do it be happy and happy doing it. for we all know we only live once live happy. well i wish each and everyone the best on finding it thanks.
 Prissymae
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 62
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:23:17 PM
I have ALWAYS said the only way I would remarry would be in a "Shaft" wedding in Vegas. He's a baaadddd muthahushyomouf!

Now that Shaft has passed it just wouldn't be right so I guess only God strikes me with a bolt of lightening & sears me to a man it ain't happening.
 excalibur19
Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 63
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:38:37 PM
I would like to get narried again..... its the divorce I dont like
Some friends of mine will not ever get remarried due to the expeiance they have had and I don't blame them.
 byebye baby
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 64
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:25:19 PM
I would most definetely get married again! I did marry too young (20 y.o.) and we had no idea what we were doing, lol!! But we had great times and learnt alot, most of it too late... we separated after 9 years, divorced another 6-7 years later.
I did feel I'd not want to again, but my feelings have changed since the divorce was granted (2 years ago).

I believe in marriage, and I'd love to one day be able to say yeah, I'm doing it again!!
I liked the sharing of everything with one other person, having that one best friend who knows everything your about, and who shares their hopes and dreams with you too.

My mother has been married 7 times, with 5 husbands (2 she married twice). I have no desire to follow in her footsteps... and the sad thing is she's alone now for years.
But so far all the women from my mothers side have died alone, I want to break that cycle! Lol! I am ahead already, cause by my age she was on #5..or 6?!
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 65
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:35:23 PM
Look, if I say I'm going to stay single and alone for a while.....bam...I meet somebody.

If I say, I really am ready to meet somebody now...there's no one in sight...period.

If I say I'm never going to get married again.....well, you guessed it.

I'm not sayin' nuthin'

Kimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Solarpanel
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 66
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:48:02 PM
Marriage is the only real relationship I look forward to having - everything else looks cheap and nasty to me.

But I think you have to be really disciplined in your behaviour and have a strong view of what you're looking for, particularly today.

I'm not sure I want to get married before I'm wealthy enough to get divorced. I'll probably be ready by the time I hit Paul McCartney's age.
 tajuan65
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 67
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:53:45 PM
I would do it in a heart beat if the right guy came along and I know he is out there.
 rutryin2bfunny
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 68
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:06:35 PM
Well first of all it wasnt a bitter break up for me.
Absolutely I would marry again, and I sincerely hope to some day as well.
But the decision will only be made with great care, consideration, the input of others, and with the eyes of experience this time. Not primarily based on the view from behind 'rose coloured glasses'.
I regard my first marriage as the 'starter marriage'.
Now I am able to see what I am to look for in a potential partner much better, and thus expect the results to be much better the next time.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 69
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:13:38 PM
dbblonde - I was married wishing I was single for the last few years. So that is why I am not interested in doing it again. I also have children (which I didn't mention) and I felt so sad for all of us that it had to come to this. I am not depressed, or angry or whatever else you budding psychologists wish to analyse from my post - I simply feel quite sceptical towards marriage after finding myself on the other side of it, divorced with children and trying to restart my life again at 44. Thanks to everyone for their open and honest answers.
 logicalnonsense*
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 70
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:14:40 PM

For those that have been married before - would you do it again?


Absolutely. But I've only recently considered marrying again in the future. If I found that special someone I would do it again and I'd be in it for "forever".... I was with my ex-husband (still a friend) for 13 yrs and have been divorced for 12. I've gained significant wisdom with age and experience and I know "myself" much better.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 71
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:17:58 PM
By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 72
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:19:36 PM

By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol


It's a highly classified secret. Need-to-know basis only.

 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 73
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:20:59 PM
cut and paste it into your reply, then put
at the beginning of what you're quoting, and
at the end

happy quoting!

 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 74
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:22:43 PM
oh boy, forgot that it would end up quoting for me too

cut and paste, then use the instructions above the emoticons to the right of the reply box.....it shows you what to put before and after the quote
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 75
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:23:56 PM
I can't say that I will "Never" get married again, I think that "Someday" it would be nice, but I have taken what I've learned in the past, and now look at things from a different light.

I think if it ever comes to where I find someone who I would consider 'marriage-material', then I plan to take it slow, investigate things a little more thoroughly and do my homework!

I've learned that it takes 2 people to make a marriage work, and only one to destroy it. So next time I find someone who I'm serious with, I plan on making sure the same things don't happen again, from both parties...

I also don't punish the new people in my life, for what the people of my past have taught me. The past is past... Learn from it, and let it go, use it to help you grow in a positive sense, not keep you confined!

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have been married before - would you do it again?