Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have been married before - would you do it again?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 126
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Absolutely. My marriage was wonderful and I was with my husband till the end, may he rest in peace.
 ~Music
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 127
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:06:40 PM
I would never say never but...
recently got a tat on my finger to help me remember to do it right if I ever do.
 countrygrl12345
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 128
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:21:18 PM
No.
Having a life partner, someone to hold, share, love, best friends would be great. Full commitment would be a must, but not marriage.
 bgrumling
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 129
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:25:01 PM
nope. i would not do it again. two failed marriages i have become very much aware that coldness and bitterness and anger can be healthy in protecting yourself. I would not do it again because i enjoy my freedom. go where i want when i want with who i want or not go. I find reading a good book and having a dog are much more wonderful then a marriage. I dont miss the stress of the bills and having someone always on your back about them. its nice becasue you depend on you and you alone and there is no one to let you down. you have responsibility and you cannot get away from it.
I also havent found what people to be love. I dont think love between a man and a woman exists. I think its actually a transaction. i need something you need somthing and so therefore marriage boils down to a business transaction. Love is somthing hollywood and also the older generations have told us we are supposed to feel, they themselfs not knowing what the idea of love is.
marriage is a failed expiriment. marriage is a loosing game. marriage has no value. Its far better to be single and date, or not then be married. marriage only leads to broken hearts and dispair, but also leads to the wonderful freedom to realize you are never free in a marriage.
I dont feel catering to someones every whims needs and wants is freedom. its a lving hell that kills most people. and why get married to end up single for 50 percent of us thus you in a few years are ending up right where you are now but distroying lifes.
its better to avoid all that and stay single.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 130
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:32:17 PM
I've never been married...legally. However, I spent 15 years in a common-law relationship that gave us two beautiful daughters.

I must admit that I own a fantasy of someone loving me so much that they want to spend the rest of their life with me and declare it by marriage.
 HVACtech
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 131
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:52:25 PM
Marriage is grossly over-rated. There is no reason on Earth -- none -- that two people can't remain faithfully committed to each other without a legal document.

We've said our vows before ... in a church, a courthouse, or wherever. And for the divorced among us, a helluva lot of good they did.

Would I do marriage again? It's possible ... but so too is the moon crashing into Earth. In other words, very highly improbable.

I think a better question would be, "Would being previously married deter you from being faithfully committed to someone?" To that my answer would be, "No."

The happiest & "richest" couple I know never got married. They had and raised great kids together, basically did and enjoyed the same things married couples did, and are now happily retired. Key to their relationship is that there was never a piece of paper binding them. The door was always open -- either could walk away at any time (barring, of course, support & legal obligations). They stayed in their relationship because they both wanted to stay in it for their love of each other. That is a commitment no marriage certificate can make happen.
 citizen_joe
Joined: 5/21/2009
Msg: 132
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:53:54 PM
Yes, but only if we lived together for at least 4 seasons. My longest live in relationship still outlasted my marriages and 4 seasons of living in sin isn't too much to ask.
 kmm52072
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 133
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:04:46 PM
I'm on the fence on whether or not I would get married again. To much pain in the divorce for the kids and myself, and my ex I'm sure. But, since I can't have anymore kids if the love was undeniable I might consider it. But, then again marriage is just a piece of paper in reality. The success or the failure of the marriage depends on the 2 people married.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 134
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:07:11 PM
I would certainly like to get remarried - to the right person.

I don't think it's overrated in the least. Having a good marriage isn't the hard part - the difficulty is finding the right partner.
 danzandsing
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 135
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:22:40 PM
Spicynicegirl--yes, I would get married again. I am a bit more than a year removed from a marriage that lasted 9 years too long. I'm not in pain from it...or from her. I'm actually a stronger person for the things I learned from her.

I learned patience, determination, and self-worth from that relationship...before we wed, she mothered a child by me. One who I am soooo grateful for, and have loved since I know of his conception. If I were fortunate to be blessed again with a lover who could hold that type of importance again...she won't have to wonder, because before long, we will say "I do".

Danz
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 136
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:28:51 PM
Still on the fence about it.I won't say yes and I won't say no.Only time will tell.I guess it depends on who I ever meet and how I feel at that time.
 jim141419
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 137
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:29:28 PM
I'm not sure........

From past experience and learning from others....

People seem to change when they get married.


......Im just sayin
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 138
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:31:01 PM
only if she's filthy rich and i get half after the divorce !!!!

 TimothyPaul001
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 139
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:01:43 PM
Hi spicynicegirl,

I surely would like to get married again and live happily ever after.

Sincerely,


Timothy
 erika1967
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 140
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:32:41 PM
I agree. I have had a not so good marriage previously but I can't live in the past. Like what you said we need to live our lives. We can't stay bitter forever . Being bitter is a waste of energy. We just need to be more careful and learn from our past mistakes. Life is uncertain. We will get hurt no matter what. When that happens, cry your eyes out, wallow, sulk or do whatever you do to deal with your emotions and then move on. Easier said than done? I've been there.
 FULLFIGMAAM
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 141
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:01:27 AM
There is no reason having gone through difficulty ending a relationship, should mean one should never again enter a relationship.
Our experiences should teach us to live better, not deter us from living.
I don't know if I would do it again... I don't have a need to, but I have the greatest respect for a good marriage. M
 murdok47
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 142
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:05:49 PM
Never say never , i did and took the leap again but it wasnt to be i guess ...
 murdok47
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 143
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:09:01 PM
I wowuld have to agree with country girl no marriage but haveing someone to hold and be with would be nice...
 josieplenty
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 144
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:30:32 AM
Right on girl!!! I have heard that crap said ABOUT and BY men so much it has almost made me sick, because never before by a woman probably, have I heard it, at least within my ear/eyeshot. Though they have GOT to think a like you and me at least some of them. We can't be the only ones! And that is one actually reason I do not like most women as friends -- they are too catty, deceitful (well to be kinder, "disingenuous" I guess would be a better word) and do not know what in the HELL they want any more (or maybe EVEN more) than most men I think. Other than to make a lot of men miserable. And themselves and the whole world around them in the process. To be fair. Not type of people I wish to spend my time around! Sorry but that is just my opinion. They obviously do not get "home training" (not that many people, male OR female, even, do!) They are still trained too much like Barbie dolls -- get a clue folks. And so they cannot build value systems worth a damn; or at least realize that, they don't have one -- and then work to acquire as time goes by, if they are intelligent and insightful enough to do so. They just drift along through life. Making even more people miserable (like me!) I was beginning to think "I" was really weird. And to be fair to women, most men I meet especially at my age, are more or less, like other women have said on here (but not in so many words) -- "not even up for discussion!" And I mean ALL ages I am not ageist. Not that they are bad they just wouldn't be THE ONE (like Jim and Pam ha! have you seen "The Doors" I kind of like them) or even one OF the ones. (I believe in multiple "ones.") And I'm sure I'd make them just as miserable as they'd make me!

I think we should organize a club, or is there one already for women like us??? Probably so. Isn't that what the "quirkyalones" are? I think it's for men too. But I think we need one just for women. BTW I fell I should say, am NOT gay though I don't think anything wrong with that at all. I'm just not, personally, simply because it doesn't appeal to me but it's totally OK for other folks if that is the thing for them. But it is difficult for someone like me, I just don't easily fit into any of the main catergories around here where I am (I proudly call, the "premier hellhole of the mid-South" and no, not Memphis) yeah, surprise. Because I am not hooked up with some man (and do not have kids either.) But I AM currently retraining for a better job. And yes I am alone (socially) a LOT of the time and I don't see that changing anytime soon. (But do I even want it to? LOL!)
 josieplenty
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 145
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:34:46 AM
Hey, this message, that I (josieplenty) just posted -- was specifically in reply to the post: daynadaze on 8/20/2008 208 AM but it's for anyone else too, sorry if there was any confusion.
 walking the pooch
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 146
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:37:08 AM
Why waste the money before and after?
 Music in Season
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 147
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:46:29 AM
You can feel very sure about someone and then be proven wrong. Still, I would be willing to consider getting remarried if I really felt it was right. The joy is that I now believe marriage is a choice, not a necessity, and I have more life experience than I did before I was ever married the first time.
 clt47
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 148
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 1:00:08 PM
YES, I would definitely do it again. I liked waking up with someone, sharing evenings with, and conversation. You know all the good stuff about being together.

What I would want differently the next time is, my husband to have some of his own interest and friends and me also have mine. At home for us to work a little more like a team versus I always do the cooking and the cleaning while he takes care of the yard.

I could go on and on in detail on both why I would like to remarry and exactly what I would want differently but, I think you get the idea.

Divorce does suck and does make a person a little (or alot) shy about doing it again. Especially if they were married a long time, were not the one that wanted the divorce and/or they lost material possessions in the process.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 149
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:14:05 PM

The happiest & "richest" couple I know never got married. They had and raised great kids together, basically did and enjoyed the same things married couples did, and are now happily retired. Key to their relationship is that there was never a piece of paper binding them. The door was always open -- either could walk away at any time (barring, of course, support & legal obligations). They stayed in their relationship because they both wanted to stay in it for their love of each other. That is a commitment no marriage certificate can make happen.


I definitely agree! It seems that when the door is always open for one or the other to leave, they stay together because they genuinely love each other, they work on the relationship and thus it is those relationships that truly last. That is something that's the kind of relationship that I hope to have the next time. You really don't need the piece of paper to make it work. I think what some people want is the grandiose ceremony in front of friends as if to prove their love for the other. No thank you. I don't need it, but I'll never say never.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 150
view profile
History
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:20:25 PM
I would never marry again. After my divorce, I worked harder than ever. bought a Condo and don't want to end up giving half to some guy if the marriage fails.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have been married before - would you do it again?