| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:36:20 AM |
"White people, you need your ni**a friends so they can tell you when shit is not appropriate. First of all, white people, please stop putting them little blue leashes on your children. Please stop doin that! That is only entertainment for ni**as. We be excited than a mother****er. "Look at 'em. Look. " That's why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the goddamn school; cuz you done treated them like a german shepherd ever since they were 3. They be at the store like "OOH I WANT.." *mocks running off, hits end of leash and jerks back, falls* "
Muahahaha... I've seen him do that stand up and laughed till it hurt! So true!
The parents that argue that leases will make sure your kids stay at your side and will never be abducted... which happens as much as a lightening strike... are right. They will stay by your side because they don't have any other choice. But what are they actually being taught? When my daughter gets away from me, I call her back or physically go to her and tell her that she can't do that and tell her the reasons why she has to stay by my side. It works. With a child on a leash, they can try to run off and you pull them back or you limit their distance, which teaches them nothing about running off.
While I will admit that the number of more than 50,000 non-family abductions includes a large percentage (75%) of teens (those 13 and older) there is still a large number (12,500+) that are not teenagers.
So your going to have your kid on a leash because 12,500 kids are abducted each year? That's 12,500 out of millions of children in the country. Your odds of getting in a car accident or getting cancer is much higher than that. Using abduction as a reason to harness and leash your kids is, IMO, fear mongering. It's like saying you'd never take your kids to the park in fear of a bee sting. It's one of those things that could happen, but your chances are super slim that it won't. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:56:21 PM | Just today, my ten year old saw a child with a leash on his arm and told me she loved her leash when she was tiny because she felt much more free than she would holding my hand every minute. It also left us each two hands to shop and carry . It is also hard to bend down for hours if the little one is short.
BZB | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:07:18 PM | | I never used one. I just held his hand everywhere we went. Even at aged 10, he still holds my hand everywhere. Well not everywhere, but most of the time. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 3:12:47 PM | It depends on the area you live in!
Where I am the traffic is bad & you'll only make a mistake where a child's hand slips out of yours the once. I've seen a 3 year old somersault over a car bonnet 10 foot in the air - it's not pretty! The driver was a woman in her mid-30's who jumped a red light and then just drove off!
A walk in the park may not need reins, a walk along congested busy city streets in an area where 1/2 the drivers have no insurance might?
Every child is different and the environments they grow up in vary so much it's hard to make a blanket judgement either way.
How about we just accept that all caring parents do what they need to to keep their own children safe by whatever method works best for them? | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 3:33:57 PM | | My siblings and I were taught to hold our parents' hands and stay with them once we'd grown too big for a stroller or shopping cart. My son was taught the same thing. He holds my hand without having to be told, or my jacket or belt loop or purse if I don't have any hands free. IMHO leashes and harnesses are for pets not children. I would never use one on my own child or on any child in my care. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 5:39:59 PM | | Ok i have a small question....is a stroler less restraning then a stroler then??? to me it is more restraning. They can't even WALK! | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 5:46:17 PM | | That's not the point - strollers are not meant to be restraining devices like the sole purpose of leashes are. Small children can nap in a stroller, it's faster to get from Point A to Point B using one, if you do not drive you can load groceries into it, etc. Children can also walk alongside the stroller until they tire, there are tons of reasons and purposes for using one, restraining a child is the only one I can get from a leash. I NEVER used a stroller to "restrain" my daughter when she was small. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:12:26 PM | I have to respond to this one. I have three children 2 of the 3 I never had to use anything. My oldest needed something. The harness didn't work because he just got out it. I don't think it was my parenting that was the problem. There are some children that are more head strong than others. There are some with lots more energy and curiosity than others. Some of the same traits of those children would be admired if they were adults. Even if people don't want to admit it-- there are children that live life larger than others and sometimes those children need extra help to keep them safe.
Like a someone posted- all things can be misused and a good parent knows what is best for their child. YOU have to do what is best for your child. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:49:09 AM | Hmmm....my parents told me about the leash/harness they put on me as a child. It was attached to a very long rope which was also tied to a huge rock in their backyard. It was used for my own safety....so they say! (There was a very steep cliff behind the house that they didn't want me to fall off). I'm sure they do come in handy for those runaway children types...I was one of those! A group of my friends would carry/drag the rock to another location so I wouldn't be left out of the fun. Thank god I wasn't tied to a clothesline!!
Maybe if they trained me better (bad dog) I would have learned to "stay"!
Now that I'm off the least....I still tend to run off into the wild. It's the freedom that makes me run so much! I'm wondering if anyone was to attempt putting a leash on me now....if I would start barking like a dog ? Yes...I would...hahaha.
But, seriously, some kids are safer with some kind of restraint when going out for a walk with their parents. As far as I've noticed, there was no harm done to me mentally.....or I'm in denial :) Woof woof! | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:38:12 AM |
I NEVER used a stroller to "restrain" my daughter when she was small.
While you may not have in your opinion, how many times have you been somewhere and heard a child screaming to get out of a stroller?
I know for us, my oldest, and now my youngest have some sensory integration issues. They don't like things tight against their skin in most cases. They don't like feeling restrained in any case. Yes, the harness is tight against the skin in a small area, and this was an issue for my son when he was little, but the freedom that it allowed him to walk was well worth it to him. He would fidget with it, and try to get it loose, but just like he understood the reasons that he shouldn't run away, he understood why his leash at the time had to be tighter on his wrist. It could only be used for short periods of time though or he would not be able to control his emotions/reactions associated with feeling it tight on his wrist. My youngest daughter is very much the same way. She was never comfortable in a car seat unless things were just right. Strollers are a living hell for her, and always have been. Her new monkey harness should serve us well for short periods of time while walking on the boardwalk. She can fidget with it and pull at it without pulling away as she does with someone's hand.
To comment on something said earlier in the post (pg 2 after my first comment), while no one has said that parents that use harness are bad parents...saying that we are not teaching our children basic safety precautions or that we simply wish to not pay attention to our children (neither of which are true IMO) , is in essence saying that we are bad parents. I don't know any good parents who would neglect to teach their children about safety or ignore them. Do you? Again, as stated by others, everything in life is abused by SOMEONE. We aren't talking about that though...we are talking about responsible use of safety harnesses as an additional safety measure for our children. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 8:44:57 AM | I used to think these things were horrible. Always mocked people who used them. Then I had a toddler who would literally RUN in stores. If he got out of his stroller or my arms, he thought it was HILARIOUS to RUN across the store and through clothes racks.
I never did buy one of those leash things, because the idea never occurred to me until he was old enough not to need it (He's 5 1/2 now and has obviously outgrown this game). But, I think for a similar child like my son, I might have considered it for a short term usage. If you have a toddler who you cant really reason with yet who insists on running... what are you supposed to do? I'm all for home training and working with them, but sometimes you need to get somewhere and get things done.
While I havent used one, I wouldnt rule one out, nor would I condemn their usage. I would just hope people dont use them as a babysitter for their kids (like, "they are on a leash, I dont need to watch them now") because then they'll never learn appropriate and safe behaviors in stores.
I think people are assuming a parent puts them on the leash and then totally ignores them, and I think that may happen sometimes, but its certainly not the rule. Heck, the leashes arent that long, its not like mom could wander 25 ft away and not know what the kid is doing. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:53:09 AM |
how many times have you been somewhere and heard a child screaming to get out of a stroller
Well, these are usually the same kids who scream in grocery stores, are completely out of control in any social setting, can't behave in a restaurant and generally are pretty awful kids to be around. The stroller is just one tool they use to get what they want, so I don't believe the argument is the same. I think parents have way too many "additional safety measures" for kids. No wonder kids get to school age and have no ideas how to cope with issues, take responsibility for their actions, expect someone else to take care of their messes, and grow-up missing out on the wonders of the world - parents keep them harnessed from the world out of their own insecurities and fears. I don't understand that kind of parenting at all but am happy that I have an independent and respectful daughter I am proud to take anywhere, and is willing to step out of her comfort zone to experience something terrific, not be tethered to my side because of some irrational fear. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 12:01:31 PM | "No wonder kids get to school age and have no ideas how to cope with issues, take responsibility for their actions, expect someone else to take care of their messes, and grow-up missing out on the wonders of the world - parents keep them harnessed from the world out of their own insecurities and fears"
Interesting concept....odd though...because even though i use a harness to keep my child safe he cleans his own room, he helps me bring in the groceries, He helps carry kiddiling wood into the woodshead, he feeds the cats (granted he tries to feed them to much lol), he helps do the laundry and he also cleans the table affter meals.....hmmm....wow my child must be a freak of nature then. i mean he is supposed to be a lazy slob just because i have used a harness all of 5 times in his 3 1/2 years of life to ensure his saftey. It is also kind of odd how he can walk for 2 - 3 miles with no complaint at the age of 3 1/2 up in the woods. He also has his own garden, he learns more then most children do at his age. Tell me how many children today that learn what is safe to eat in the woods and what is not safe? How many children get to see a moose walking in the woods or deer even once (tell you the truth this scared the daylights out of me but i keep pepper spray on me when we are up in the woods) a pack of 5 wolves. how many kids at three have seen land sprawled out infront of them while they stand at a peak of a moutin?? Also while shopping I have only had twice where i had to repremend him for throwing a tantrum because he could not get something HE wanted. I never have to put him in the cart (nor do i use the harness in any store) because he walks next to me or helps me push the cart while we do our Grocery shopping. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 12:06:07 PM | No offense, but then just continue to do what works for you in terms of using a harness/leash and refrain from coming onto a site asking opinions if all you want to do is defend your use of one.
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 12:08:42 PM | "No offense, but then just continue to do what works for you in terms of using a harness/leash and refrain from coming onto a site asking opinions if all you want to do is defend your use of one. "
I too am expressing my veiws. that was the point of this whole post was to share veiws and oppions and to respond to other people's veiws and oppinions. I am using my experiances with the Harness to back up my veiws. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 1:33:49 PM | | sigh...no one said the term "lazy slob" but YOU. Why is it odd he can walk in the woods for a while? It's not a pissing match here you know, and good for you your kid has seen a deer. My daughter 2 weeks ago saw moose, deer, a blue heron because we were in Algonquin and white water rafting, we have traveled extensively, seen the most glorious mountains and scenic views, the only time she was ever "harnessed" was when we went ziplining... All the things you mentioned were activities he does INSIDE THE HOUSE, no awards because all kids should be helping around the house anyways. And I don't consider "feeding the cat" a wonder of the world he discovered due to his own curiosity. Clearly I was alluding to allowing children being free to explore their world and gaining independence and the courage from doing so, and learning about dealing with some of the dangers in it, listening and following the rules, sorry it went past you. It changes to dynamics of the debate though as you said you have used it maybe 5 times. The crux of the debate is, I thought, parents using a harness to restrain their children as a way of restricting their movement because, for whatever reason, they can't or refuse to listen to their parent's rules on safety and they feel there is no other way to keep them "safe". My interpretation was these parents pretty much use a leash every time they are in a pubic place, not a one off when there may be a pack of wolves lurking nearby ;) | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:38:09 PM | In response to a post waaaay back.....
The wrist type leash I used was not bought by me, my former father-in-law got it someplace and knowing him he didnt pay much, anyway....so as to the comment that the leash cost just as much as an umbrella stroller, you are mistaken at least in my case. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 4:42:14 PM | | In terms of price...I just got a new monkey backpack style (I found what I wanted while shopping online the other day). It was only 8.99 on sale at Target. Yes, that is cheaper than the cheapest of umbrella strollers, and it lasts so much longer! | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 4:57:16 PM | | You can go to any dollar store and buy a dog collar leash for $1!!!! Different fun colors too. By all means if you are looking for cheap this is the way to go... I still have my umbrella stroller form 11 years ago and it's in perfect condition - where the hell do you shop that a stroller would not last a few years??? Cheap is not a valid reason. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 5:10:13 PM | to comment i have had the same umbrella stroller for about 4 yrs now survivored 2 children. and is still in good shape. I guess just goes to show you how to keep your stuff from children so they wont tear em up. Yea but i dont think any parent is bad for using one as for safety fearing people. For me i couldnt seem to get one for my kids. Now i have used one of those backpack things to keep newborn babies in and my kids loved it when they were a baby. also went out and bought a double stroller for my kiddos after my youngest was born and my eldest would go in there when she was tired and we were at like kentucky kingdom or some place like that. strollers are not a restraining device and neither is playpens. Playpens you can put a child in while you clean or cook. and they would be safe and sound and wont get burned trying to be all up on you so yes i do use of those only for cooking and cleaning purposes when i am in another room and i have stairs and i wouldnt want my youngest climbing the stairs and falling and breaking her neck. Next ill suppose the person who posted about playpens will say highchairs are way to restrain children. I know alot of mothers who just put their kid in a playpen and let the tv babysit them and me i am disguisted by it. And my children may not have seen a deer or any wildlife because i dont live by the woods. So congrats on the women and men who have raised their children to be behave and well respected young children.  | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:47:20 PM |
The wrist type leash I used was not bought by me, my former father-in-law got it someplace and knowing him he didnt pay much, anyway....so as to the comment that the leash cost just as much as an umbrella stroller, you are mistaken at least in my case.
Excuses. Why not just admit you wanted the leash and not a stroller? You could have taken the leash back and exchanged it for an umbrella stroller.
In terms of price...I just got a new monkey backpack style (I found what I wanted while shopping online the other day). It was only 8.99 on sale at Target. Yes, that is cheaper than the cheapest of umbrella strollers, and it lasts so much longer!
They're freaking 10 bucks. So you saved a dollar.  | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:54:32 PM | I have not seen any around here for $10...the last one I got was $20. This was 4 years ago...but most around here run around $25 or so to start. With the uneven streets and things that I had to maneuver in the city at that time, it lasted about a year. The handles ended up bending back from trying to get it up onto curbs and things carrying a 47lb 3 year old. Could I have spent a lot more for a better one, sure but I didn't have the cash at the time.
And a dollar can be a great deal of money depending on a budget...heck, that is a loaf of bread, or nearly a half gallon of milk, or can of spaghetti sauce, or 2 lbs of noodles depending on where you are shopping, or a can of soup, or 2 cucumbers, or 4 ears of corn, or 12 packs of ramon noodles. Don't knock a dollar...every penny counts! | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 6:19:38 PM | | Lookin4possibilties once a upon a child has them for 10 dollars in very good condition they wont take poorly condition items I have bought mine from there and is still in good condition but a 47 lb kid can cause some damage to a umbrella stroller my eldest is almost 60 lbs but shes 4 so alot more bigger then your 3 yr old considering shes to tall for her age Im a short person so that comes from her daddy lol. I know you can buy a shit load of food for a dollar you go to the right places I have had to do that before because of little food or no money. But I have also been to food banks before because of money issues. It helps for the time being sometimes not all the time. | |
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Posted: 8/24/2008 6:46:15 PM | It's a personal preference.
I never used leashes on my children when they were little - they were either holding my hand, in a stroller, on my hip or hangin on for a pony ride when they were old enough to understand they had to hang on to me.
I used to train and show dogs in obedience when I was younger - the only way a dog learns to listen off leash, is to be offleash. So, it was the same with my children.
I knew the only way they would learn to listen when I wasn't holding on to them was to let them be free and teach them what was expected of them. | |
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| leashes?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:38:27 PM | I agree with my 5 year old on this one.
Her response after seeing her first leashed child get on the bus downtown a few days ago:
After staring for awhile she pointed and told me "I think that little boys mama got confused....that mama put a leash on her little boy instead of her dog". | |
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