| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:55:17 PM | ^ distantprospect
Dude!!!
You are quite bitter for man who is only 28 years old. Dang, it took me until age 42 or so to get that bitter. (And perceptive, I might add: Men get married hoping everything will stay the same. Women seem to get married hoping everything will change. ). Lighten up a little. Despite your having such wisdom at a relatively early age, I assure you that you have many, many years left to capitalize on the opportunity to get taken to the cleaners again and again by an American Female Spousal Unit.
On the other side of the coin, if you marry a woman who possesses a bullet-proof commitment to a personal set of values that features self-reliance, true adult maturity, the ability and willingness to give, and acceptance of responsibility for her own personal happiness--and you reciprocate in kind with your own attitude and actions--marriage and it's ties that bind can be not only liberating but downright exhilarating, since nothing else comes close to the satisfaction found in a true give-and-take partnership. Every passing day feels like another brick that goes into the construction of a potentially magnificent structure that reflects the achievement and synergy of two lives lived together in an ideal manner. (But it does take some effort from time to time, but it is well worth it.)
Here's wishing good luck to all of us in our search for finding The Right One who is able and willing to do his or her share toward building a solid partnership, and to our own willingness and ability to do our part.
| |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:19:13 AM | OP,
I see that you do have a child with her. That complicates things. It could also be the cause of your problem. She might have her hands full with your son; when children are involved they become the priority. Are you doing all that you could to help her with him? If not, she might hot have the energy or much desire to take care of you.
You shouldn't feel completely neglected but you do need to understand her situation a bit better.
Were you living together out of wedlock with your child? Did you get married for the sake of the child? If so, she might think it was a marriage of convenience for you, and who would feel honored by that?
You can continue to be friends with her as the mother of your child, but if she's just not willing to be a wife to you because she sees herself as a mother instead, then you're probably going to wind up divorced sooner or later. So, you might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. Having things settled, however they fall out, is better for a child than living in turmoil.
With a child in the mix I'd have to change my advice. I'd still cut her off sexually because of the risk of an accident. However, I wouldn't move out immediately. I'd still talk to a lawyer and get the paperwork started. But I would also go into counseling to find out everything that has been going wrong for her. When you have a full understanding of her situation and how she feels about it, then you be in a better place to decide whether to stay with her or not.
Good luck! | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:06:30 AM | Thank you to those (stratoman1, greeneyes1343, sock, etc). who actually gave mature advice to someone who seemed to need it rather than criticism. What’s the point of waging a sexist argument? It only tends to breed contempt. None of us are perfect.
It's good to know there are some who doesn't let past bitterness or memories colour future hopes of finding that partner who will be a perfect fit for us.
I only have one comment: “it takes two to tango”, make of that what you will.
I also echo the sentiment below:
Here's wishing good luck to all of us in our search for finding The Right One who is able and willing to do his or her share toward building a solid partnership, and to our own willingness and ability to do our part.
Good luck firstson01 in whatever you decide to do. | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 10:51:12 AM |
"Hand over the American Express, the Mastercard, the Nordies, and the Bloomies and you will be feeling the LOVE all over again...."
I don't even need to click on this persons profile to see she is a women. I KNOW she is a women.
That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. If you have to buy her love it's time to cut your losses and get out. Why is it that women simply cannot understand finances? Credit is stupid and should be avoided at all costs.
It was an attempt at infusing some humour. Something of which you seem in very short supply.
Lighten up. Go charge a drink or something, and act idiotic, k?
 | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 12:50:18 PM | When you get married, it makes outside pressures more a part of the relationship. Love is love. Marriage is more of a family business. You share worries about income, living conditions, working conditions, transportation and many other things. Ideally, you love the person you're married to, but the relationship CERTAINLY changes...
every relationship I've seen or been a part of, anyway.
Conversely, when you're not living with or married to a person, there's usually a parting of the ways. | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:44:44 PM | | I think things change after marriage because people aren't willing to be their most authetic selves before they're married. Some women want an engagement ring like men want a superbowl ring and are willing to act however they think their man wants them to act (i.e. casually saying things like; I think I'm a nymphomaniac, and I looooove giving bjs!) in order to get that ring and the wedding that comes with it, where they get to be a fairy princess for the day. Men, on the other hand, open doors and pull out chairs and buy their women things "just because" knowing full well they have no intention of keeping that mess up beyond the dating stage. However you can't exactly "keep it real" with your partner either, most of us at our most authentic are unbearable to be around. I don't know. Maybe marriage is an outdated and absolete institution. | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 6:45:30 PM | Here's wishing good luck to all of us in our search for finding The Right One who is able and willing to do his or her share toward building a solid partnership, and to our own willingness and ability to do our part.
And here's to wishing good luck to all of us to develop the ability to identify that person and not run away from them in panic.
Isn't that why we're all here? | |
|
| |
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:20:42 PM |
And here's to wishing good luck to all of us to develop the ability to identify that person and not run away from them in panic.
Isn't that why we're all here?
Ab-So-Root-ly!  | |
|
| |
| |
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 11:26:44 PM | Pete’s shirts default to Unbutton
So he must walk around holding his gut in
But it inspired some Poodle pixie
To go down and start whistling Dixie
Now more than his paunch is out juttin’
The night he recited his nuptials
Poodle Pixie fondled his Pup Jewels
Ripping open the velaycro
To commence honeymoon fellatio
Proves button down flies are for fools
| |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/25/2008 11:33:13 PM | I am sooooooooooooooo hoping more of these pics become accessible......
sock, where's the rest yours?? only saw one.
with or without velcro? | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/26/2008 12:52:42 AM | | having been married several times, I've got some ,I hope< useful comments...First marriage, we had kids too early, so the focus moved from the romantic life goal,of traveling to faraway places,being creative, add a musician to an artist.We both withdrew from the relationship, because it wasn' t the life we wnted, and we were in a way the victims of the change...death of dreams. The second and third we tried to keep the way of life together that we wanted, got along great, and sexily romantically, WHILE we could live that life...predictably, when the way of life got lost because of jst life events, and priority shifts...guess what...death of the relationship !!! | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:57:52 AM | I've never been married but have met my fair share of "California Women" who fit the statement that distantprospect - left on the POF - Sad to say but that seems to be a real common attitude these days.
The what's yours is mine & what's mine is mine & oh by the way "I'm always right!"...
(for that type of person it is usually due to the lack of culture & education) -
Not all girls are like this but who knows until you get married- I can't tell since they usually seem to have very good fronts & acting skills in SHALLOWVILL!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry man - My only suggestion is - Find a good church & find a good pastor & PRAY & fast - bring yourself to that place that can help you work this all out... Usually being humble works...
(discover what you need in your life & be humble to work it out).
You are in my prayers-
 | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 8/31/2008 10:51:51 AM | OP. how old is/are your offspring? This is a huge consideration.
When women have children, for about the first two years there are hormonal forces at work that lower their sex drive demonstrably. Small children tend to spend a lot of time clinging to them to, so by the time you get home from work, they will be overstimulated physically from being touched all day.
Many men do not understand that foreplay does not start 15 minutes before the sex act itself, but rather in the morning, every day. When I hear men complaining that they are not getting sex from their wives, I wonder if men realize that the intercourse is far less of a goal for a female than the intimacy of the act.
Are you kissing her and telling you that you love her in the morning? Calling or texting her during the day to let her know you are thinking about her? Do you hire a sitter and make time to date each other, away from the pressures of parenthood?
The fact that you have a profile here looking for sex, when you are already married, not to mention that the very text of the about me, implies that you are looking for someone to meet your needs, and are not too concerned about theirs.
If that is your attitude in the marriage... Well, that could be your main problem. | |
|
| Why does everything change after marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:55:11 PM |   we ladies are finished, too!
I think when the chase is over, people sometimes quit making the same effort they did when they and their partner were free. Spouses still have to make time for each other, do interesting things together, and surprises.  | |
|
Home
login 
... well, actually... BECAUSE of the velcro. 
