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 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 51
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The UnexpectedPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
So OP when did you first realize you were gay?
 williamaus
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 52
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:20:18 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Good one!
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 53
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:52:13 AM
"So OP when did you first realize you were gay?"


TOO FUNNY!
(thanks for that! I needed a good chuckle today)
 Faux Pa
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 54
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:56:10 AM

. . . get up to use the bathroom, come back and she is sitting on the couch naked on all fours facing me . .
. . . What I want to know is how would you approach this?

Umm . . from the rear, I think.

OK, seriously then . .

I like her, she is nice and all but it makes me wonder--how many other guys has she slept with on the first date?

If the number is somewhere between zero and 100, what difference does it actually make?
I can't help thinking that she was just going with the flow and you weren't. You just missed the 'buying signals' is all. Having said that, I can imagine it being a surprise, but I'd like to hear her side of it.

I think you have to make up your mind as to how much you really like her quite independent of the . . errrr . . event.
If you're somehow struggling with the perceived morality aspect, then your actions (or maybe reaction) on the night will tell you all you need to know.

And finally, you say you met her on PoF. I'm assuming she's still here, or if she isn't, she knows you are. I presume she has a computer and can read this thread right? Just wondering where the gentleman thing crept in is all . .
 wolftx
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 55
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:36:21 AM

and started picking up her clothes all the while trying not to look at her gorgeous body

Gotta love "the Monk". People with OCD have it harder on PoF, eh? I get this visual of you both getting ready to do it and you running around folding her clothes first. Do you roll up her socks or staple them together?

Remember, it's only spontaneous in the first 10 minutes... Tic-toc. Tic-toc.
 TygerLaw
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 56
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:01:02 AM
When I was younger, and didn't know any better I had a lot of 1st date sex. I thought I was the man...well, dammit I am, but when I got the panties thrown at me it pumped the ego up, logical reasoning goes down. I could be just that charming, smooth, handsome etc...for this to happen, but the averages were high for this happening for me, so not reasonable I was Don Juan Jr.. Looking back, I picked the girls up at bars and everything the club/bar dwelling habits/drinking and mentality that goes with it. Basically boiled down to class of women I had consistently gone after. Good looking "fun" girls...and I am now under no delusion that I was one of many "fun" dates for these women. Thankfully I never got one pregnant accidentally or got a disease, but bottomline you're either just that good a gorgeous woman throws her sex at you, or her inviting a guy back to her house after a 1st date is no big deal to her. Add those facts up, if you want an easy notch hit it, if not quit it. Easy women can be fun, but they're rarely a keeper. If gorgeous women keep throwing themselves at you begging to have sex with you I want to be your agent, we're going to CA. to make movies with Kate Hudson.
 Summerwon
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 57
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:14:34 AM

Sleeping with someone on a first date does not make one a slut in my Opinion.


No, definately not but it sure puts the cart way before the horse and screws things up if the intent is a meaningful relationship.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 58
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:24:56 AM


Sleeping with someone on a first date does not make one a slut in my Opinion.


No, definately not but it sure puts the cart way before the horse and screws things up if the intent is a meaningful relationship.


How so? I've had meaninful relationship that started off sexually from the get-go. Why do you think that precludes a meaningful relationship if both parties are feeling it and ready for it?
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 59
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:29:02 AM
"How so? I've had meaninful relationship that started off sexually from the get-go. Why do you think that precludes a meaningful relationship if both parties are feeling it and ready for it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yep. So have I. As a matter a fact, I've been in 2 long term relationships that started off VERY sexual. The first one lasted 3 years or so and the second lasted closer to 5 years. Neither one of us cheated. It does last and it isn't impossible.
 Summerwon
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 60
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:44:10 AM

Yep. So have I. As a matter a fact, I've been in 2 long term relationships that started off VERY sexual. The first one lasted 3 years or so and the second lasted closer to 5 years. Neither one of us cheated. It does last and it isn't impossible.


Hint: 2 and 5 yrs are NOT "long term"
 Dr.Manhattan
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 61
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:47:36 AM

Just hope she doesn't see that you posted your first date on the internet for the world to see! She may not like that!


especially when he eluded to her being pooched half cut sitting on the couch with no cloths on.....


NOT COOL!
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 62
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 12:01:50 PM
Hint: 2 and 5 yrs are NOT "long term"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe not to you but to me, they were. BOTH relationships were intense in every aspect and I dont regret neither one of them...So kiss my A**

...and when did YOU become a genius in defining any relationship, its extent and/or anything in between it? Cant mean much. You ARE on the same site- just like the rest of us. But good luck with that!
 wolftx
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 63
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:42:55 PM

Hint: 2 and 5 yrs are NOT "long term"

Then what is it? Mid term? Time to take a test and get graded?

I'd say it's pretty long for a flash in the pan - you know the category that sex on a first date usually gets attributed to... I guess I had a short-term relationship once. Only 8 years. We called it 'marriage'. Then the judge called it 'quits'.
 candid_1
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 64
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:12:52 PM
I agree with Wolftx as far as take revenge. I don't see what the issue or dilemma was that could warrant posting in the forums. You dealt with the situation and then duly reported - its all after fact. Struck me more as sanctimonious tattling than a topic in need of discussion... perhaps you were just hoping for a public stoning or a standing ovation for being a blabbermouth prude.

You, Sir, are no gentleman.
 Dr.Manhattan
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 65
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:16:33 PM
So OP when did you first realize you were gay?


OK slick how would you have handled the situation??? let me rewind this,, She's had a few, horny and naked on the couch??? take it away lover boy.

and oh ya don't forget she has a gorgeous body too???.....LOL!
 Thunderstorms62
Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 66
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:33:14 PM
"she is sitting on the couch naked on all fours facing me,clothes strewn over the floor,arms covering her breasts while she stares at me smiling. "

Alright, how many arms does she have because "sitting on the couch naked on all fours
while covering her breasts" just doesn't sound right unless you are talking about the Goddess Bali?
 Amigetto
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 67
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:53:48 PM
Sometimes we connect with people just for a moment. If she was attarctive to you I think you could have shown some appreciation. Being a gentleman in these situations many times is taken as a rejection by the woman. I have been in a similar situation years ago and did not understand that the lady felt rejected.
 Ear to hear
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 68
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:04:36 PM
Ive done the same thing dude only because I wanted to learn each other and not have a one night stand that would of been a mistake....it was and is your choice...like woman have the same choice.....
 Redwolve
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 69
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:11:57 PM
You did the right thing by leaving. I've had several experiences of women wanting more than I was willing to give. I like taking the high road! The other road leads to stds, aids, and yes possible death. Especially if the husband or boyfriend finds out.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 70
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:26:14 PM
personally i think you should have just went for it. why embarrass the girl. if she is in the mood would it have killed you to do her. dont want to be critical because you thought you were doing the right thing. but if it were me i would have put myself in her shoes. she felt okay with it so get yourself in the mood. lots of times thing go different from what you thought was going to happen and you have to be flexible. i would not have gone out with you again if you would have done that to me because i would have felt you embarrassed me and you were insensitive and selfish for doing so. also for those who think her behavior meant she may have std, it's impossible to know who has or doesnt have it. that is just a fact.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 71
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:34:48 PM

Thanks for all the advice and comments. I called her yesterday, worked things out, went out again last night with some of her friends, had a great time. We will see what happens.
Rock and roll!
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 72
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:13:39 PM
I have to agree with some of the other posters here, that stated that if this "gentleman" was so worried about her virtue and her making bad judgments while being under the influence of alcohol, he would have dropped her off at her door with a kiss goodnight and a promise of a phone call the next day.

I won't lie and say I haven't had sex on a first date on a few occasions; if we're honest, I think most of us here have at one time or another. Its only from those experiences that we learn that its most often a mistake (even if the sex is great). We also know that while an invitation to a woman's home doesn't necessarily mean she wants to have sex, it sure as hell puts that option on the table as a possibility later in the evening, especially if there is drinking involved. She seems a little squirrelly too, to strip and attempt to jump him when he came out of the bathroom. Isn't that more of a third date move?

The capper is the OP met her here, and then posts all about it, thereby embarrassing her a second time. A naive young man? Absolutely! A gentleman? No, not in my book.
 DCinFL
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 73
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:39:52 PM
oh man, im so embarrassed..........sorry about that, i TOLD my grandma to stop getting naked on first dates!
 diggerchick
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 74
First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:14:07 AM
i think your a real man by what you did! props on that buddy!
i respect men very much who do not expect or try having sex or anything on a first second or hell third date!
she was acting like a whore, and if she did that with you, your right how many others DID she do that with?
id wonder, how often does she get drunk and bring guys home and get naked on all 4's ?
i think u did a good and the right thing, and im sorry she doing that proved she has no standards for herself, and maybe it showed the real side of her? and the real side maybe isnt the side u like or what your even lookin for, anyways happy fishin!
 whowhatme
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 75
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First Date-Met On POF-Click-Her Place-The Unexpected
Posted: 8/25/2008 6:18:51 AM

she is sitting on the couch naked on all fours facing me,clothes strewn over the floor,arms covering her breasts


on all fours, arms covering her breasts--did she look like a pretzel?
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