| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:02:10 AM |
i dont mean all girls
just most
You must be a great world traveler to know most girls. The truth is just because most girls in your life are a particular way doesn't mean most girls in general are. The same goes about what you said about guys. All guys I know "small talk". | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:34:27 AM | there's something called a 'general observation'
of course most guys small talk too, its just that girls do it more IMO | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:42:03 AM | Irespire
Small, vapid talk is that. But small talk as in what other posters have said--getting to know someone is important. The small talk that you're not fond of is what gives you clues and insights into a potential date's mind.
Unless all you're wanting is to bag em/tag em, then yeah you're right...they don't need to give you small talk. But for many of us women, it's a chance to get to know you, and for you to know us. Or try to. | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:54:47 AM |
there's something called a 'general observation'
of course most guys small talk too, its just that girls do it more IMO
You're obviously not understanding what I'm saying. If you had read my message you would have known that I had pointed out that you were giving a general observation but on people in YOUR life.
You're saying girls do it more in your opinion. In your opinion is the key word. I was telling you, ALL guys I know small talk. From that alone I could come up with the "opinion" that ALL men in general small talk. But considering I don't know all men or even close to it. It would be ludicrous for me to make the assumption that ALL men are a particular way or that even most are. I'm telling you not to generalize.
When a guy says "most girls" [fill in the blank] it's one of the biggest turn offs.
If your opinion is that most girls [YOU KNOW] are this way, that'd be one thing. But don't base the entire or even most of the female population on what you've seen in a tiny fraction of the entire female population. | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:57:31 AM | DreamDancer44 said:
You're obviously not understanding what I'm saying. If you had read my message you would have known that I had pointed out that you were giving a general observation but on people in YOUR life.
You're saying girls do it more in your opinion. In your opinion is the key word. I was telling you, ALL guys I know small talk. From that alone I could come up with the "opinion" that ALL men in general small talk. But considering I don't know all men or even close to it. It would be ludicrous for me to make the assumption that ALL men are a particular way or that even most are. I'm telling you not to generalize.
When a guy says "most girls" [fill in the blank] it's one of the biggest turn offs.
If your opinion is that most girls [YOU KNOW] are this way, that'd be one thing. But don't base the entire or even most of the female population on what you've seen in a tiny fraction of the entire female population.
Let's zero in on something here; I only quoted the full e-mail initially so people could keep context.
DreamDancer44 said:
When a guy says "most girls" [fill in the blank] it's one of the biggest turn offs.
Errr, you mean in your opinion, right? You mean it's one of the biggest turn offs for you, right?
Aren't you now guilty of the very thing you're taking the poster you referenced to task for? | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:59:30 AM | Small talk is a way to get to learn personality traits that you can't learn by simply asking a specific question. For example, is he a guy who looks at the glass half empty or half full; is he polite or ignorant; is he open minded or close minded towards something that is different; is he**** or down to earth... etc. ?
The way someone interacts with you during small talk is often more important than what is actually being said. Small talk also tells you a lot about a persons social skills, likes-dislikes, values and views on different subjects. Very important things in my opinion when you're getting to know someone.
How do you expect to get to know someone without the small talk? | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:10:41 AM | Because whenever I mention game theory, Putin and his attack on Russian democracy, or my views on the the multi-verse (from the book "Elegant Universe) I see a guys eyes glaze over. So instead I talk about my boots or how the Royals are doing.
Do YOU personally only talk the big grandiose issues all the time? If you do then Obama has a spot waiting for you. | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:11:44 AM | Sunny.Star said:
The way someone interacts with you during small talk is often more important than what is actually being said.
Errr, no, what is being said, actually verbalized, is always more important if they're a person with any depth beyond a sheet of paper. I sometimes think this is why many women seem to get frustrated in conversations with men: they're attempting to communicate with the men the way they communicate with other women. Women communicate with each other on a variety of levels simultaneously, including words spoken, facial expressions, body language and intuition. Their conversations happen on many levels all at once. Men communicate with each other primarily by a combination of words and tone of voice. The failing many men have is we attempt to communicate with women the way we communicate with other men. Then we're confused when she gets upset at us for "not opening up to her". We typically say something and mean what just the words communicated, and she looks deeper, getting frustrated when she either can't find something deeper or just misunderstands by thinking there is something deeper. Likewise, the women get frustrated when we, as men, don't look for something deeper in what she said, and take her statements at face value.
To me, going purely by what's been said, unless tone of voice indicates there's obviously subtle subtext, is the simplest method of communication. I tend to take people at their words (and if their words don't make sense, or are incongruous with what they've said in the past, I'll point it out). It's that cliche' of "Do I look fat in this dress?" Most men are going to respond "Nope" (and if they're the honest type, that's exactly what they mean). For many ladies, it seems, what they're actually asking is "Do you think I'm pretty?" or "Do you think I'm overweight?" To me, it's much simpler to just say that instead of couching it in something entirely inane. If you want me to tell you you're pretty, ask me if I think you're pretty. If you're worried that you're putting on weight, ask me if I think you've gained weight. If you ask me if I think the dress makes you look fat, I'm going to tell you whether I think it does or not, and leave it at that. | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:52:16 AM | I agree with what you've said when you're talking about something more serious. I'm reffering to small talk. How many siblings do you have? What sports do you like and are invloved in? What's the best place you've travelled to? What's your favorite resataurant or movie? That kind of thing. The content is important but the way it is communicated can say a lot more. By that I mean the words he uses to answer your question AND his non-verbal communication. For example if in every question you ask him he has negative response, you can safely assume that he's probably a half empty type of person. If he check's his cell phone every 5 minutes, it's a good sign that he's not very interested and or is not respectful of your time together. If he looks at you in the eyes when talking to you or looks past you. You'll also find out if he's the type of guy that swears every 2nd word or might be disrespectful towards different races, cultures or sexual orientations.
These are the types of things you learn through small talk. | |
|
| |
| |
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:04:00 PM |
"small talk", "in depth discussion"
Blah blah blah ....
Why does every thread here have to be about Penis Size ?
You know the answer as well as I do.
 dam those rich a$sholes with big c0cks stealing all the girls! | |
|
| why do girls love small talk so much
Posted: 8/26/2008 9:00:19 PM | | I'm not one for small talk. I don't like hanging on the phone either. I like to get to the point and hang up. I'm a bartender and I have a hard time making idle chit chat with people. I think its rude to pretend you care. | |
|
Home
login 
