| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:48:53 PM | I don't know, I prefer to greet a guy with an ass grab. Maybe I'm just not forward enough?
It can be, and has been, incorperated into the 'hug' greeting also.
Once the kissing (on the lips) and making out starts happening, you know there's a little more than 'just friends' going on though.
btw : I am actually serious, that it's not as odd as some people may think. Some "just friends" do that, but that theory got blown out of the water, given your history. | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:53:39 PM | okay - maybe all the 'playas' out there use 'just friends' as 'sex'.. but when someone says to me or I say to them - 'just friends' - that's exactly what it means.. like 'NO - means "NO' ... has everyone forgotten the line of 'respect' with humans? I'm talking about someone I didn't know well - not a long time 'friend'... is anyone gettin' my drift? | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:57:54 PM | btw : I am actually serious, that it's not as odd as some people may think. Some "just friends" do that, but that theory got blown out of the water, given your history.
Hey!!! Just what is that supposed to mean? Really...not sure if I should be offended or what? 
OP- You're asking for polarization of the thread which I'm pretty sure is kinda against the forum rules so you may want to be careful there.
As for serious replies, what did you really expect when you ended your initial post with the emoticon you did? I don't know about the others but I thought you were kidding. I guess if you want serious replies but didn't get that, instead of pointing the finger outwards, you should turn it in and consider why you didn't get what you were seeking. | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:06:37 PM | Red - yer gettin' on my nerves - thanks! Polarization - nope - AND
if you look at my history - you'll see I always use the peace sign.. and the guys who posted on the 'Ask a Guy Forum' had intelligent things to contribute :) so apparently you don't read well...
apparently one must apologize these days for 1) using the Ask A Guy Forum and 2) being an old hippie
geesh - go bash someone your own hair color | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:15:47 PM | ^^^
Would appear someone has issues relating to other females. Not sure exactly where you thought you were being bashed by me or what got you riled up enough to accuse the females here of posting mindless stuff but your peace sign seems a bit out of place.
Frankly, I could care less if I'm gettin' on your nerves as I completely lost interest in any thoughts or opinions you had the minute you started bashing the women in this thread with your remarks about their mindless posts.
You can retract your claws now, I'd rather laugh and have a little fun then waste my time debating with someone like yourself.
Good luck with that whole attitude thing. | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:22:08 PM |
Hey!!! Just what is that supposed to mean? Really...not sure if I should be offended or what?
Sorry, that part wasn't directed to you but the OP. I need to go to bed, poor writing skills are coming on, grammer and speeling are the next to go
maybe all the 'playas' out there use 'just friends' as 'sex'.. but when someone says to me or I say to them - 'just friends' - that's exactly what it means.. like 'NO - means "NO' ... has everyone forgotten the line of 'respect' with humans?
I'm not talking as 'just friends' = 'sex'. I'm talking about 'just friends' who joke around and are comfortable with their sexuality enough for a random boob grab at meeting, or whatever else.
one must apologize these days for... 2) being an old hippie
Dam straight...especially an old hippie not open to a random boob grab among friends | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:29:12 PM | Crickey,
I would stay away from this guy. He apparently does not want to date you but he does want to get intimate. I think a slap in the face would be a fair reply. The others that suggested otherwise are a bit too violent for my tastes. Avoid this guy, he is trouble.
Jim | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:30:59 PM | Gosh....so many Straight Lines! Where to start ??
"I Just Want to be Friends, But..."
That phrase NEVER means anything but " Don't boil my bunny".
I know, i know....folks will join in and swear that THEY are different.
I still cry BS. When was the last time you ASKED to be friends with someone
whom you were NOT breaking up with ? I'll wager it was 3rd Grade.
Adults either ARE friends or they are not.
So OP, he grabbed his "friend" and this makes you wonder what he meant ?
I am just guessing, but i would wager he did it because he wanted to see if he could.
to all - obviously it was stupid of me to pose an actual 'serious' question to 'some readers' who still react as tho they were in grade school..
AND we are damned proud of this fact ! "Ask A Nobel Prize Winner" is three doors down.
The attempt to insult folks who are having fun by calling them childish always works so well, yes ?
Serious Answers can often be found amidst Sarcastic Humor.
I simply posed the question to you guys out there to ask if I had missed something obvious other than the obvious FWB or sex angle... that's all...
enuff with the mindless female comments, please.. I really did want the guy's perspective - thanks all
Oh yeah! A great way to get along! Call folks "mindless" AND Childish. I smell a Ms Popularity Award ! OP, perhaps it would be a good idea to keep this gentleman as a friend. You are not demonstrating any talent for making New Friends here.
apparently one must apologize these days for 1) using the Ask A Guy Forum and 2) being an old hippie
Really ? Damn!, as another Old Hippie, where do i need to go ? Will I make New Friends there ?
Also, i have found that when you ask a question, it is bad form to beat up on how folks choose to answer. But what the hell do i know? I am just an Old Hippie.
OP, can we be friends ? | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:39:58 PM |
Polarization - nope
Wrong.
enuff with the mindless female comments, please.. I really did want the guy's perspective
Asking for the opinion of only men or only women is defined as polarization in the forum rules.
You might want to look into those forum rules a bit. Bashing others is also a big no-no around here.
As for your actual question (thats right, I'm going to give an opinion even though I'm a girl!), I don't think any guy could read the mind of the guy you were asking about. So far it looks like the opinions of the men and women around here have been the same - he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want to call you his girlfriend. | |
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tofi
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Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 39 | |
| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:01:27 PM | ok i like this topic....heres what I dont understand..
i ) when did "i want to be your friend" become code for "lets shag?" I dont shag my friends....i shag my boyfriends.....
ii) how is it that you can be good enough to shag but not good enough to be a girlfriend?
thoughts, comments?
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:05:34 PM |
I smell a Ms Popularity Award !
OMG!!! Did I win? Huh, did I? Please? (I'll understand if you give it to RedC or Clas tho I may write them some catty little msg later but...if I won, omg!!!) 
That reply is actually an excuse to post and say I LOVE that new pic Esad! Seriously, looks like it's off the cover of a cookbook or something and I gotta say, that pie is damn seductive! (This is me actually being serious by the way)  | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:09:21 PM |
ok i like this topic....heres what I dont understand..
i ) when did "i want to be your friend" become code for "lets shag?" I dont shag my friends....i shag my boyfriends.....
ii) how is it that you can be good enough to shag but not good enough to be a girlfriend?
thoughts, comments?
Well, there are some among our sex that believe in having sex with someone that they have no to little emotional attachment or commitment. It is what we call Friends with Benefits. (FWB) I only bring it up because though some guys practice this, NOT ALL GUYS PRACTICE THIS! In fact, I venture to say that there are some women that practice this as well ... Thus these individuals thing "friends" automatically think "friends with benefits." That is one of the reasons why the designation "Friends" on the profile can be seen as confusing; does the person mean friends or friends with benefits?
Please note that this does not mean that *all* guys from now on who say, "I want to be your friend," mean ,"let's shag." In fact, the majority of guys that you will meet may (*gasp*) when they say it mean that they just want to be your friend. Strange but true. It is just that a bad apple spoils the barrel, so the addage goes. | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:21:42 PM |
to all - obviously it was stupid of me to pose an actual 'serious' question to 'some readers' who still react as tho they were in grade school.
Well. I wouldn’t go too far in name calling given the fact that you started a scenario in message #1 and didn’t give enough detail for an informed response until message #25 (below)
)..let me fill you in...
we initially 'dated' twice prior to the 'let's just be friends speech'...
Why didn’t you include that in your original post? Seems to be rather relevant. Relevant in the fact that he learned through those two dates that you would not be offended by a boob grab.
**things that make me go Hmmmmm**
how did i react? I simply moved a couple of steps back and whispered, "Just friends - don't DO that"
Whispered?
**obviously not that offended or concerned about her dignity**
has everyone forgotten the line of 'respect' with humans? I'm talking about someone I didn't know well - not a long time 'friend'... is anyone gettin' my drift?
You flame others in this forum for having fun with the topic but you whisper to the guy who grabs your boobs….. I don’t want to get your drift.
Peace out!
On topic:
Technically speaking (in a whispered tone), he assaulted you.
You don't seem to understand that so, how could you understand anything else regarding his behaviour?
Oddly enough, you seem to be more upset with women in this thread than you are with him.
No wonder some men disrespect women..... they're permitted to. | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:23:33 PM | ii) how is it that you can be good enough to shag but not good enough to be a girlfriend?
Lust does not equal Love.
It's pretty simple actually. You could be attractive, really nice person all around, but there may be something about you that it just wouldn't work. Still want to be friends, still 'shagable', just it wouldn't work as any more than that.
In the case of the OP, they dated, and it just didn't work out. So obviously he finds her 'shagable' but a relationship just wouldn't work out. Just because they broke up, doesn't mean he doesn't still want to have sex with her, especially if they are still friends.
That doesn't mean it happens all the time, sometimes it doesn't even mean it even if they do enjoy flirting with each other, it just means that it happens.
Sex is just 'sex', how do you think one night stands happen?
Edit : I have female friends that I know a relationship wouldn't work out, but I'd still (admittantly to them) have sex with. I also have friends I flirt with but wouldn't sleep with no matter how drunk I got. I also have others I don't flirt with nor would have sex with, but are still good friends (despite the popular "Harry Met Sally" conversation how that would be impossible) | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:36:12 PM |
Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends,
The only time I used (or heard) that phrase is in the context of break up.
In the context of friendship, this does not need to be negotiated... you are a friend, or you are not. You don't really ask someone to be a friend, no?
And, I have to say the whole "just friends" is always weird to me... why "just"?
I don't extend my friendship to just anyone. I value my friends a lot and don't think of them as "just" anything...
OMG!!! Did I win? Huh, did I? Please? (I'll understand if you give it to RedC or Clas tho I may write them some catty little msg later but...if I won, omg!!!)
Yeah... you can have it. I always get JUST Miss Congeniality. 
geesh - go bash someone your own hair color
*wonders if _Red_ will now attack her*
I LOVE that new pic Esad! Seriously, looks like it's off the cover of a cookbook or something and I gotta say, that pie is damn seductive!
You like his pie photo better than his c*ck photo?
*shakes head*
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:15:08 PM | It's funny how some women think there has to be some consistent
logic to men's behavior! Many men don't behave like most men,
but at least we are all inconsistent!
And I think like women, we will often never tell a woman the
truth about how we really feel about them and more importantly
WHY! | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/25/2008 1:34:21 AM | OP: Other than the possibility that his hands started getting lonely for your tits...
I'd have to say that he wanted to have sex with you but not call you his girlfriend.
(Is this phrase the new "He's just not that into you" now?) | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:38:00 AM | OP, I feel your frustration - you come to "ask a guy", asking for serious analysis of a man's act in a bar.
Then along come the usual suspects, oh so eager to display their wit for the amusement of us masses - shame on them.
But let's get back on topic, I need more information
about the boob grab
Was he making honking sounds during the act of boob grabbage? | |
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| Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:00:34 AM |
Copping a feel is much more personal than a handshake, I wouldn't want to do it to a stranger
I fondle everyone hello. It's the polite thing to do.
Man, some of the chicky responses in this thread make me glad I know how to put somebody in a choke hold. Yikes! | |
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