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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/3/2008 2:32:24 PM | I can see nothing wrong with a Christian woman insisting on a Christian man. In fact it is the wise thing to do. Couples should be as evenly yoked (matching) in as many areas as possible, including intelligence, energy level, interests, etc. Further, when chosing a mate from among the Christian pool, Christians need to select someone as close to their particular walk as possible. Intimacy is a crucial part of a relationship. It is a lonely marriage in which partners are unable to be close and share their spirituality or emotions. Can you imagine the pain of being mocked by your partner for how you pray or worship?
As far as equality goes... we are all bear the image of God. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/4/2008 4:21:16 PM | I have open-ended beliefs about religion and spirituality. Mostly, I study theology for personal interest. I don't follow organized religion, but I have my own beliefs.
I tried dating a Christian fellow, he was cute, younger (about five years younger than me) and seemed to have his head on straight. But within a week, he was already trying to have me conform to his faith - and that I should not believe in what I did, so we could date.
Well needless to say, that wasn't happening. I think in relationships it's important to have similar beliefs, though you don't necessarily have to have the same beliefs. You should know enough to respect each other's beliefs and not try to change them. You should never push your beliefs on anyone else for that matter. Relationships work because of compatability. Christians I have found are very religious and very head strong (no offense meant in any way) about their faith. I think both partners with strong Christian values probably have a good chance of making things work...(not counting life's obstacles that get thrown at you along the way). | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/5/2008 2:11:02 PM | | If your using your discertment and you pray , that your time you will know if they are a real christian male or female (by their fruits) isn't that what the Bible says you will know my people by their fruits? | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/5/2008 2:17:37 PM | Yes it is important for 2 people in a relationship to have the same beliefs , it would be every confusing for their children and cause some problems.
Yes I have a deep relationship with Christ its not a religion to me. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:59:54 PM |
. It is a lonely marriage in which partners are unable to be close and share their spirituality or emotions.
How can you be lonely if god or Jesus with you in your heart? Now I guess you're not a true Christian?
Christians have little faith in themselves let alone for god or Jesus. Jesus showed love, this is hardly what I call love. Jesus did in fact make friends with tax collectors which others considered to be wrong.
Christian are afraid of hardship, they want god to make things easier for them when they have sinned so much. It is like letting your child go out and party when they misbehaved. No sweat off my back I could careless if someone didn't want to date me because so called Christian.
What's really crazy is that most people on the internet lie. So your chances finding a true Christians on here is close to nil. You would have much better chance in real life. I hope you enjoy your single life for a long time. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:41:00 PM | Amen to that.But sometimes you can still be fooled!Because sometimes women are in love with love or love starved, so they latch on to someone who shows some love & attraction to them without investigating their history or background.Outcome=disaster + wounded heart.Discernment is what is neede. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:46:09 PM |
. It is a lonely marriage in which partners are unable to be close and share their spirituality or emotions. How can you be lonely if god or Jesus with you in your heart? Now I guess you're not a true Christian?
That's quite a leap there GoogleFreak. Just because Christ lives in us doesn't mean we don't love others. We were created for relationship, not only relationship with God but relationship with others. God created marriage, because it is the closest we will come on earth to the intimacy of the God head. Even though we become one flesh, we can not be truely intimate with another person if we cannot share all aspects of beings. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/7/2008 9:13:51 PM |
God created marriage It is a human institution... marriage as we know it today has evolved much over time...
Did God create the 60+% divorce rate too? ;)
it is the closest we will come on earth to the intimacy of the God head. This is a matter of opinion only... certainly intimacy can be achived within a relationship that is not considered "legal".. no? | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:41:07 PM | | Beth I believe God can bring a match for you no matter where you are in the world. Just continue to have faith and do not go weary of well doing, put the Lord first and He shall give you the desires of your heart. You never know, the one you seek might be just around the corner. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:34:56 AM |
I have spent a lifetime being judged in this fashion and although I know for a fact that it says more about the person judging than it does me, it still doesn't lessen the hurt.
Hey sassyaquarius, I can "see" you and I hear you and I know you have been hurt by others many times over and I know that you are no stranger to the rain. And yet you've always been one to not let your own hurt get in the way of being able to"see" me and embrace me and my many counterparts as a friend ,smilin'...so I say bring on the rain cuz I'll be there for ya my friend to comfort ya before the healing even starts . The way I look at, if the one I refer to as G-d ever was in the business of handing out halos and wings,there's a good chance things like that can be consumed while flying to close to the ground while trying to get through that valley to climb that mountain...either way,I never know when I might be entertaining angels unaware so I try not to to be of making others feel like an unwanted guest,and just know my porch light is always left on 
I picked out some thought provoking quotes to respond to I do believe;And I want to add a disclaimer; to avoid any type of exclusivity of truth,please note that the following responses of mine that also refer to the word,"spirit" are just my opinions and belief.
What's really crazy is that most people on the internet lie. So your chances finding a true Christians on here is close to nil.You would have much better chance in real life. I hope you enjoy your single life for a long time
Tell me more about this real life....reality as you see it because imo, without conceptualized constraints and theoretical constraints,it may be hard for some to talk about reality at all/
Who knows,through these constraints I speak of some may see me as nothing more than tattooed belly pierced 'heathen'...wait...I'll take it further,I have Cherokee blood running through my veins and I live in the luscious, glamorous place known as the hood/ghetto/projects  ....so there ya have it,through what possibly another refers to as reality,I'm a tattooed belly pierced heathen with Cherokee blood livin' in the hood.
But for those that can really "see" me I believe I am just a woman with a passion for the spirit,with a heritage of" landless people" living and making a home surrounded by another culture often referred to as "landless people" while living in a world where I often feel like the human spirit has been shunted.
So to make sure I keep this on topic,I guess one could say that one very important thing that this women of Christian belief/faith would insist on is a man with a vision that has not been narrowed in such a way that he fails to see me,all of me and a vision that has not been narrowed in such a way he is unable able to see others.
Christian women are generally "easier" because they think if a guy goes to church then he's a Christian.
Imo, this seems to present itself like you are speaking for all Christian women but I hope you don't mind if I speak for myself. And I think I will do this with a little something I wrote a while back;
Oh yes,
let me serve all my passions on a plate.
come and get it.
Now don't be late.....
Yeah,my sixth sense,
this gut feeling,
it's telling me
you could be the world's greatest lover.....
But I'm not ready to co-sign,
cos' I'm not looking for a part-time lover.
No,if I have to be a walking contradiction,
for a momentary gain,
then to me,you're just another five minute brother...
And I think imo,not just this Christian women feels this way.
I believe a woman is soul and all Ladiezz stand up and be recognized because I see you as a diamond that knows your worth. So in conclusion to your generalization,I for one feel quite sure I can spot a mac daddy wanna be pimp player(you may want to look those words up) regardless if he is coming in my direction in a suit and tie sitting on a front pew or not/
How can you be lonely if god or Jesus with you in your heart? Now I guess you're not a true Christian?
There's this song I like. It's called "Sometimes Even a Christian Gets the Blues" but I sure do like your logical fallacy consisting of your usage of the term "true Christian"...you wouldn't happen to be a Scotsman by any chance
Christians have little faith in themselves let alone for god or Jesus.
I believe that the kind of faith I have can't be hurt but thank you for your display of exclusivity of truth just same.
Christian are afraid of hardship, they want god to make things easier for them when they have sinned so much.
Ya want to know what I discovered about hardships and the hardships of others and of course this is just my opinion and belief but my beliefs are in my words and melodies to my heart;
And here at this place
where the table is fully decorated
with adversity
through life changes
in a world where change is inevitable,
balance is a life lesson learned
with every storm endured....
And as the child sits at this fully decorated table
embracing the spark of hope through a mother's eyes
here at this place
is where heroes are found...
heroes,not for the way one died
but heroes because of the way one lived.... | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:41:20 AM | | I know a lot of women use evangelical dating, especially in universties. They pull the old "can't date you unless you're x" then when the person goes through the process of conversion, oddly enough the relationship doesn't last long. Guess what? They find a new non believer who they can't date.... | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:36:50 AM |
I know a lot of women use evangelical dating...
Oh yes, I am all to familiar with this form of dating. If you live in Tulsa, OK for any amount of time you realize that 80% of the single women attending whatever bible school you want to list here is there for one purpose. To find a husband.
Funny thing is when I attended a bible school down there, I never came away with a wife...I guess it was my charming personality that kept them away.
Anyways, the women in the "Holy Land" would go out and find guys from the local university/bars/where ever they went to look for guys and drag them to church. It was quite a site to see.
What was funny, you knew which guys had been down that path because they would "accept" Jesus, then dump the woman to be with one of her friends.
I always laughed. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:54:21 AM |
I know a lot of women use evangelical dating, especially in universties. They pull the old "can't date you unless you're x" then when the person goes through the process of conversion, oddly enough the relationship doesn't last long. Guess what? They find a new non believer who they can't date....
Without being present,I could not validate what you are saying but you do give mention as if you possibly know these women you speak of,and considering the integrity I have found within a lot your posts from back when you were posting more often in the religious/supernatural forums(Oh yeah,good to see ya posting again) I am not questioning the act itself but just pondering over the possible reasons why...I know I know,I think I think too much
Certain thoughts keep coming to surface as I ask myself questions like,did these women do this because they thought the "process" of conversion was all they needed in play and of course same thoughts for the guys involved? Or did in fact these guys do more than a process,more than a going through the motions to accommodate their current situations to be with these women but instead actually found within themselves a sincere,genuine and internal set of spiritual beliefs of their own and acted upon it and then just to find that these women only sending out their representative of who they were so so speak and not even had really falling for this guy in the first place? What are more of your thoughts about it?
Meanwhile,finding some one that shares your spiritual beliefs/faith imo is as a blessing indeed but I also believe that one can not choose when loves comes their way anymore than they one can choose if or when love itself choosing to walk away. So yes,I also believe in something that is not deemed as a romantic intimacy and that being a level intimacy I refer to as intimacy of the minds and for me while sharing in these forums for example this is something that imo,can indeed cross over religious barriers but also seems to be accompanied with tolerance,integrity and respect. I wonder if these women you speak of had a thing going on with his mind as well is what I'm asking? I believe that can help with a lot any possible confusion along way.Again,seeing how ya know these women,so what do think?
Anyways, the women in the "Holy Land" would go out and find guys from the local university/bars/where ever they went to look for guys and drag them to church. It was quite a site to see.
I ain't about to be draggin' no man anywhere. This ain't the stone age nor am I some type of cave woman looking for some kind of caveman draggin' event either. But I have been known to drag the kids out of bed and jump start them off to school some mornings  | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:20:03 AM |
I ain't about to be draggin' no man anywhere. This ain't the stone age nor am I some type of cave woman looking for some kind of caveman draggin' event either.
The general thought I heard before (mostly as a joke) is that cave men used to find a mate they wanted and club her to drag her back to the cave or was it the women doing the clubing and draging the man back to her cave?...lol
So is that where the term "CLUB" came from? lol
They still use clubs to obtain a mate? just a different type of club. However, both types still leave you with a head ache the next day...lol
Many women are seeking a Christian man. The true problem i think is figuring out what is a Christian man. I am a man and i am a Christian. I have been told I am not a Christian man before though. (yes this made me laugh a bit but still)
The part that i have noticed though is there is what the PREACHERS and those in several church's have established as what a Christian man is, and then there is what the bible says.
While many of the preachers are meaning well, and the leasons i have heard them preach have some validity and will save many women a big problem in life at times, it doesn't change the fact they cherry picked certain listings from the bible and convenienty forgot to mention others due to the fact they MIGHT confuse some as to the meaning.
What does the Bible list as a Christian man? Truth is it doesn't. It does give a few things to look for and a few more things the require. However, the majority of what is being passed around in church singles groups, church pamphlets, or taught by church staff are not located in the bible in the context they are using it for.
The Bible is full of (If, then and then, else) statements regarding many things in life. IMO it is worded this way to still cause your mind to be active in the process. It is a book of Guidance. It is NOT written in absolute terminology. For every example in there (except a few) there are others in there explaining it differently.
Sorry started getting off topic.
I guess the true question here would be to define what is the Christian man you are seeking. Just because a guy goes to church or you meet them at church does not mean they are the best choice. Just because a guy does NOT go to church also does not mean they are NOT the best choice.
These are my opinions at least. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:59:20 PM | Casheyes:
Hey sassyaquarius, I can "see" you and I hear you and I know you have been hurt by others many times over and I know that you are no stranger to the rain. And yet you've always been one to not let your own hurt get in the way of being able to"see" me and embrace me and my many counterparts as a friend ,smilin'...so I say bring on the rain cuz I'll be there for ya my friend to comfort ya before the healing even starts . The way I look at, if the one I refer to as G-d ever was in the business of handing out halos and wings,there's a good chance things like that can be consumed while flying to close to the ground while trying to get through that valley to climb that mountain...either way,I never know when I might be entertaining angels unaware so I try not to to be of making others feel like an unwanted guest,and just know my porch light is always left on As I sit here.. tears shining in my eyes.. I am awed at how words on a computer screen can convey one person's heart to another.. thank you.. you cannot know how much your words have meant to me this day.. as corny as it sounds, like a gift from God.. I only hope I am able to give it back when you need it most | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:53:00 PM | Subject: Women insisting on a Christian man
I am not sure I agree with most of the threads on this issue, although I would love to have a godly man in my life. My husband was very godly.........as much at home or more than in public. He loved his LORD with all his heart.....which made him the most awesome husband to me.. ( I KNOW HIS BOSS!!......JESUS!!)
However the reason for this post was to address someone insisting on a christian mate.............and in some instances........... judging someone's actions that are or profess to be christians.
We have ALL been in situations in our lives where we walked away or turned our back on what we believe.........telling ourselves.it is only " a little sin".
No one is perfect.They crucified HIm..........but we have to strive.
Remark reminded me of something my mother used to tell me when I was really against a family members laps into alchohol. She always said " you can be drunk because you're LOST, but you're not LOST because you're drunk"
There is a lot of truth to that statement. I am a bible believer and I honestly believe it is the literal Word of God to us.
Yet, when I lost my husband..I sat in my van several times and contemplated shutting the garage door with the van still running. Knew I couldn't do it.because I knew I would somehow get through the loss......but the pain was excruciating..........
.. I contemplated getting and staying as drunk as possible. I shut myself off from friends, family........I believed and prayed to my God, but nothing could bring my beloved husband back to me.
I have had people in my own faith tell me that if a person is a true christian, there is no excuse to ever be depressed, anxious, whatever......that's just wrong.........even knowing Lazarus would raise at His voice.........the sorrow Jesus felt...bible says JESUS WEPT....and I do believe that the
peace of God passes all understanding. I know the feeling of a loving arm around me, but we are human and social, touching people.
I know the well wishers that say things along the lines of " he's better off, he's happy now,. Lord knows what you're going thru, Just trust God.
Ok.......I don't wanna know right now.he's better off.......how about better off with me! I don't wanna think he is happy now......he was estactic with me,......... I know Lord knows what I am going thru.........but it is ME going thru it...............I do trust God, ..........but I am not real happy with Him right now.........lot of unanswered questions.
Two and half years out....I honestly don't know what people do without a Personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I would have lost what little mind I had left had it not been for me knowing beyond a doubt where my husband is, how much he loved His God, that there is hope of seeing him and my other loved ones again, etc.
It is hard enough to maintain a relationship in a truly christian environment.
Bible says how can two walk together unless they agree. I want and need to know that the man I am with respects and loves God as much as I do.
Who was it said "A woman's heart should be so close to God, the man has to seek God to get to it?"
I have found myself at times believing myself to be very much in love with someone that is not a christian..........the GD word goes thru me like a knife.
Ultimately I will NEVER be happy with someone that is NOT christian.
To me that would be like being in foxhole with someone that could shoot you at any time. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:01:20 PM |
I have had people in my own faith tell me that if a person is a true christian, there is no excuse to ever be depressed, anxious, whatever......that's just wrong.........even knowing Lazarus would raise at His voice.........the sorrow Jesus felt...bible says JESUS WEPT....and I do believe
Oh Hon, that is not true at all. Please do not listen to them.
My Mother believed strongly in Jesus Christ, also suffered from depression most of her life. Oh, the guilt she felt thinking that a Christian never has reasons to be depressed! Wish I could go back in time, tell her what i know now, that is not true at all.
Jesus was with out sin right? He was perfect, yet went through all the stuff we did. He was tempted remember ? Starved at times, and yes was discouraged, lonley ( Father why have you forsaken me?) in other words faced all the things that we did.
So while, he did not succomb to temptaion, we know he felt the same pain that we did. In other words, his whole life was to expierinece this condtion of man kind!
Are you a parent? Do you expect your child not to cry when they fall and scrape their knee? Now why dont you yell , shut up? It ould be logical in a way, crying will not help heal that knee will it? We do not say that for one reason, while we as Adults are not going to cry, we "remember" what it was like to be a child is why!
Just as God knows through his son Christ, what it is like to be depressed , feel abandoned, hear the words of his son on Calvary saying" why have you forsaken me"!
So no, God is not expecting us to never be depressed, and he will never judge you wrong for being so. In fact, just like any parent, he will feel for you, because he rememebers what it felt so himself. Those that say that garbage to you? They are dead wrong.
I was very low and down my self once, looking the the swirls of blackness that twirl in the dark abyess of my own soul. It was a non believer that helped bring me out. Sorry, not knocking believers, but there did not seem to be many at the Church I went to that who had ever expierienced what I had been through. So how could they understand?
But God did, God and that non believer who showed every day .hey I had nurses that would come every day, re bandage my wounds, feed me something to eat, bathe me even. The wounds to my soul though, God found a compassionate person, who did not belive her self in God, to help heal those wounds.
Funny thing is, she was what some would refer to as a "fallen woman". Its quite humerous actually, I thought the place at the corner was a hair dressing shop, only discovered later it was a Massage Parlour.
She would walk by my place every night going home, I would get my kids to get me out on the porch. Anyway, she started to stop and chat with me , sometimes for hours. You know why she did that? Because she had the same thing happen to her years before, smashed bith wrists had them in the air with fixators, same scars.
She knew what it was like! Just as God does our "demons". Hey, I would grab that angel up in a second if I ever ran into her today, what she did, was not what she was.
Not a believer? Well, the ones I knew, sure did not act like an angel to me back then. She did. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 11/29/2008 2:33:00 PM | glengarriff
That is touching and TRUE.
Sad thing is that many christians nowadays are more interested in " shooting their wounded" than taking the approach of the good Samaritan.
I suspect that many that offer such advice to me or chastisement have not walked in my shoes. Many people just do not know how to re-act or help in a situation, and rather choose to do as you said about the child falling. Sadly I have seen and faced that many times both in and out of the church. People believe to help someone they must
" toughen them up". I am not a strong advocate of babying anyone..............and there is a big differnce......but a kind word, at time are sometimes much more precious than anything someone can give. The bible says if we see our neighbor cold and hungry......and only say be warm and fed........instead of giving to that need..we have sinned. Coldness is not only the farenheit, nor hunger of the body..but of the soul.
I have friends that are not christian that are, as you say, much more compassionate and giving than some in the church. However, the majority or those I know ............and count as my friends.........truly are christian. They would walk thru fire for me and I the same.
It is a parallel to me the same as at Christmas time.........the majority of the people dropping money in the kettle, aquiring an Angel off the Angel Tree, helping out at homeless shelters and food lines ..........are usually not the well to do.........but the middle class and the poor .........christian and non-christian ........... that have walked in the shoes of those they now serve.
When my children were little...........it was a practice for me to take them to the streets where the homeless were...my children would takes cookies, candy, $10 and $20 to each of them.
AND at that time in my life, I barely made enough to make ends meet, and was not above taking my four children on aluminum can finds to buy milk.
Everything was made into an adventure.......and they never realized until they were much older just how broke we were. BUT, we were BROKE, not POOR.........and there is a big differnce!!
I have also, all my life believed that you lose nothing by giving it away.
That applies not only to money, things, but my time, my heart, my compassions, and my empathy.
My husband suffered more physically than I could have ever bore....but he always chose to look at what he had, and not complain................kinda like the guy that complained because he had no shoes...until he saw the man with no feet.
My children all agree that the greatest compassion I ever taught them was to look at someone and not judge...but KNOW.."that for the GRACE of GOD........there go I ".
My son is an E-8 ( just promoted and I am a bit proud).........but he came to town last year to see mom for Christmas..........and spent time helping serve the homeless and even donated part of the money he intended to put in my card.to help out. I am soooooooooproud that I can look back.and know where he got that at!!
Truly God has been touched by EVERYTHING that his children go thru down here.......he sees the fallen tear......but as we are with our children.........we cannot take that pain all away........and in the falling.and learning to get back up..a lesson is learned.
I love the "mountaintop" but every day I THANK GOD FOR THE VALLEYS!!.....where I grow
It has been my experience in life.......that for those most part, christian men understand these things, others just take me as weak. That is why I prefer a christian man. ..they Usually.............not always..........know the difference. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:41:10 AM | I spent 6 months on Christian Mingle. On the positive side, it was easier to search for men who held the same belief system, on the negative, it's like any dating site, people always put their best foot forward initially and even among Christians there are so many denominations/belief systems that it can still be difficult to find someone you are truly compatible with.
I go to a fairly large non-denominational church and have tried the singles group, but never met anyone that clicked. I think these sites are a great way to make friends, especially for someone like myself. I'm not into the bar scene and since most of my friends are married it is difficult to have much of a social life.
Regardless of what site you are on, I recommend that people never rush into a relationship. If you know someone long enough eventually you see their true colors. Though I have been fooled before initially, I find that the the longer you know someone the better your chances are of finding someone you are truly compatible with on a spiritual level as well as mutual interests. | |
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| Women insisting on a Christian man
Posted: 12/1/2008 5:23:50 PM | I kind of look at things a little differently. Picking someone with the same doctrine as I ,would be wrong.
Wrong, because I have evolved a bit over the years, still ongoing. To me, having someone that is interested in spiritual matters is important, same doctrine is not though. Most of my "growth' , has not come from talking with people that are the mirror image of my beliefs. But rather from talking with people with diverse views as mine.
Kind of see things differently, truth ends up some where in the middle kinda thing, if you know what I mean? Someone with different views? Heck I can talk all night with, nothing better than comparing views , trying to solve the mysteries of creation over a camp fire .
My children all agree that the greatest compassion I ever taught them was to look at someone and not judge...but KNOW.."that for the GRACE of GOD........there go
Yea , Pluralism, I love that concept! Glad your sone got home. My nephew is in Afghanistan right now, 4th tour, am looking forward to him getting home in the New Year. | |
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