| | Would you open you marriage to save it?Page 11 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) | Is an open marriage only open to having sex with others or do you go out with others on dates as well?
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 3:30:30 AM | open marriage just for sex or dating?
I have in the past known one marrie copule that were in open marraige. My friend sad she was having an affair and her husband knew and that was the arrangement. Last time i saw here 5 years ago, the affair had ended but the marraige still going. | |
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lustre
| | Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 253 | |
| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:14:52 AM | Hi OP,if it works for them all well and good but i find it incredible how if you truly love someone can you see them go off and have sex with someone else.I can't think of anything worse.as i say if it works for them ok but it's definitely not for me.
best wishes.
Lustre | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:38:31 AM | nope
I think it would eventually create far more problems than it could theoretically solve
and besides, I'm an only child, I don't 'share' lol | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:53:33 AM | Ewwww. No, I do not share my man with anyone. If the relationship is broken and you love one another you work at it. It would drive me crazy knowing he was with someone else and I could not imagine anyone other than him kissing me again.
The couple in the OP's first post have obviously found something that works for their unique relationship, but since every one is different I sincerely doubt this solution would work for everyone. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:56:55 AM | I have to agree with Msg 256 ... YEP .. I know a used to be couple that was together for almost 20 years ... They had a agreement that they would tell each other when and with whom they were fooling around with ... Then she was going fooling around with out his ok ... One thing let to another and it was OVER ...
AnglFlyn | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:08:46 AM | Let's not confuse an open marriage with swinging.
My wife and I have an open marriage for a number of reasons and it works for us, however there's nothing wrong with our marriage and it's very strong. At the same time, when I'm home (which isn't as often as I want), we have no problem sharing our bed (or theirs LOL) with select other people. Is this "cheating"; we don't think so.
Please don't judge others, just because their lifestyle doesn't suit you. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:16:12 AM | I am very much a one-man woman.
If I was in a sinking boat and our weight was pulling us down quicker, I'd abandon ship. But to have my husband suggest we add more weighty bodies into the sinking ship (a metaphor for our problematic marriage).
How dumb of a solution is that?
If the woman was still in love with her ex she shouldn't have married her current husband. And if the masochist wanted a dominatrix and his wife refused, he shouldn't have married his current wife. Both are idiots and they are bringing more heavy baggage into their sinking ship called "The Doomed Idiot."
And remember: a marriage means "forsaking all others" otherwise it is just playing "house" with a boyfriend for a few years. Marriage is commitment and exclusivity for 2 individuals, not 4. If he visited a strip club to just look at other women that is still having an affair (albeit a psychological one).
My goodness, whatever happened to values and sanity?
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:31:06 AM | I would never open a marriage to "save" it. Once that is on the table, it is a done deal. Stick a fork in it and throw it on the fire. That one got overcooked. It's ridiculous that people would resort to such nonsense. They don't need to be married in the first place.
Now if you see a marriage as some sort of business partnership with a friendship tacked on and the sexual part is missing, then to me that isn't a marriage worth saving. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:09:00 AM |
I know a older couple (in their 50's) with an interesting dynamic in their marriage. They allow each other to "cheat" twice a month under strict conditions. Apparently the man is very kinky and is allowed to visit a Dominatrix twice a month. The women still has feelings for an old boyfriend and she is allowed to see (and sleep with) him twice a month.
They have done this for 4 years now and they said it saved their tired old marriage and made them both very happy. They still Love each other immensely but they just needed a little something extra in their marriage. They do not even keep it a secret. They say that some of their friends react with horror even when told it was either open the marriage or divorce. They did lose a few friends over this.
I say good for them.
Would you open your marriage (with strict rules and conditions) in order to save it? Imagine you really love your marriage partner but for whatever reason the marriage was not working.
Simple answer... No | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:40:07 AM | | Sorry if I was in a marriage, and things were'nt working out ..we would just have to seek counseling or get a divorce....I wouldnt want to share my wife with anyone else | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:47:55 PM | I sympathise with them, however, having been in the situation, the rule was "never behind each other's back "
It was totally up-front, either as a 3some (mmf or ffm ) 4some or moresome.....lol | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:46:22 PM | Roaring fires may seem to burn out-but sometimes they smolder-and then light up again. I'm not speaking from personal experience-two divorces say it all--but my parents just celebrated their 48th anniversary. They still hold hands, sit close together and share a bible at church. Yes the do still fight sometimes, but they would give their lives up for the other one without a second thought.
It hasn't been easy on them-my dad drove a truck for a lot of years. He worked outside the home and my mom stayed home-or not on "public work". She took care of me, the house, the yard also worked in tobacco fields to help bring in money. So I guess you could say that she "gave" up some things for my dad and me, but I don't think she regrets it. My parents stayed together thru the rough times and thru the good times. I always thought that a marriage takes two people to make it work---and yes, sometimes you have to be the one giving and sometimes the one taking-you work together...Hey, but what do I know? I'm still alone!
Just one person's humble opinion.. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:07:05 PM | | From what I have read on this thread, the majority of posters think it's wrong to open a marriage. However, everything is not always as black and white as you say it is. In the OP the husband is 'kinky' and the wife is 'vanilla'. The wife has feelings for an old flame. It works for them let them have their thing. If it doesn't work for you then don't do it, simple! | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:46:32 PM | | hi... no never.... cheating breaks the sacred bond in a marriage.. marriage is not just a word, it is a high standard of trust and love between 2 people, not three or more... many blessings | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:01:19 PM | | I'd probably one of the friends that would walk away...that's disgusting...There are a lot of people just going "nuts" in their sex lives these days, but I'm not one of them... | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:09:09 PM | A marriage is a union between two people, for me the union have to be mental and physical for it to be complete. Mental meaning that we learn to think together about issues that affect the both of us and thus come to mutual agreements on how to go about them, physical meaning that we physically become attach to each other and expressing that through intimacy; inviting a third party breaks the union therefore I would never agree to that.
However, while you can offer your advise to friends you cannot control what they do therefore I don't think I'd loose friends over an issue like this. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:39:14 AM | | Why stay married?...The vows say "keeping myself only unto you." If you want outside stuff, then you need to be FREE to get it. So, I'd set him free to do just that. | |
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| Would you open you marriage to save it?
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:29:16 AM | | As I'm rather asexual, I can see a situation where my marriage is good except that she's unhappy with the lack of sex. In such a case, I'd consider the possibility of her getting sex elsewhere a couple of times a month, but otherwise remaining married to me. | |
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