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Posted: 8/26/2008 4:43:24 PM | Maybe its time to just be a ..................BAD GIRL !!!
Edit} I think a naughty 'lil spanking over my knee will sort you out !!
VVVVVVVVVVV | |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 4:44:31 PM | Hey fairyellen i,m with you there!Hey guys, there are 2 ladies here who want to be wooed and courted and ya better put in some effort too cos you know what?Were worth it!Hey fairyellen, do ya think thats told em? And macforty, who says nice girls cant be bad!lolOoh, i wanna be a bad girl and get spanked!lol | |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 4:59:52 PM | Things I have made notes on....
If he says "lets take one day as it comes" its a way of knowing they maybe aint into you ,and might be hoping for something better along the line..... If they still say it after a month, then you might as well be the one to say bye bye and save yourself some grief!!!
If they tell you they dont text or phone much, but always answer all other calls /text asap, and chat til the cows come home to everyone else, but hardly got a word to say to you, then they aint into you...say bye and save yerself some grief.
Its not YOU thats undatable hun,, its them that are, cos they dont see a dam good thing when its in front of them , and cannot be arsed to find out how good a thing it is, so more the fool them!!!!
hug
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Posted: 8/26/2008 5:03:06 PM | Unfortunately i think that it is too often the nicest people that get taken for a ride.Give a twat the benifit of the doubt once an alarm bell rings and they know that there mission is completed and all thats left is to just rub there foot in at will.
But who retains the self respect? who retains there dignity?
Flowers blossom and receed then they come back stronger.
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Posted: 8/26/2008 5:06:13 PM | Call me Undateable
Rate me Unrateable
But dont assume
Expect, presume
Or else! | |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 10:14:53 PM | I'm not an advocate of the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' method because it just isnt my style & it would mean giving a false representation of myself. When I find potential friends or dates I treat them as I wish to be treated. If that's 'too nice' then sod 'em, they're obviously not worthy! Harsh but fair, methinks.
Mac ~ I reckon some perfectly 'nice' men need a good spanking occasionally too! | |
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Posted: 8/26/2008 11:31:32 PM | AitchEm, there are definately a few'nice men' need a good spanking' but thats a whole other thread!
Geordie Colin,you know what,i certainly do come back stronger each time
And Mahavishnu, i never assume anything but i do expect to be treated with respect | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 12:14:39 AM | urban flower...
there could be a lot of reasons..who knows how some people think however..
be true to who you are..cos you are lovely and then when the right guy comes alone he will thank his lucky stars and hold onto you with both hands!!
lou
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Posted: 8/27/2008 12:28:51 AM | Its exactly the same for me
I always get told im too nice.
But the blokes that i meet just want to come round when it suits them aswell,probably once a week if im lucky,i want to see them more than that.
I would love the hearts and flowers thing,but all they do is expect food and drink
I dont know what im doing wrong im sure | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 12:43:21 AM | | Aww, thanks peachyperfect and northamptonlass,maybe we should just stop being so damn hospitable when they come round.Lets make em take us out for dinner if they wanna eat lol.See, i,m learning fast !Possible **** in the making here. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 12:48:09 AM | My 3 year on off ex always accused me of being too nice and that it made him mistrust me - wtf?
Dont change who you are Urban Flower, its a sad day when you have to make apologies for being nice. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 1:40:27 AM | | I know exactly what you mean urban flower and I admit I am getting a bit jaded about the ' your too nice'....remark , or the men that text for england and ask for a date then go quiet when you say ok....I always thought I would never give up on finding someone because I walked away from a 22 year marrige to be happy , but , perhaps a rest is needed. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 3:09:11 AM | Another possibility to why men do not come around as often after a date is they may be chatting to three or four other people on POF and wanna test the field and date them all to find out who they like the best.
Online dating is different to face to face in the sense there isn't as much mystery there and people act differently or show their true colours quicker on text chat than real life as you can relax, i have messed up a couple of dates when i first joined POF as i was too nervous and no matter how long you chat on the net and get on, people still tend to judge you by one meet.
Also it can be quite hard to work out females head games. I.e after a date the longer they take to message you saying they like you is a good thing apparently. This has happened to me a few times and i only found out by asking a few female friends. Maybe it is an age range thing but it put me off tbh.
Or a girl i chatted to for a month or so said she is looking for friends and if she gets a date out of it then all good, yet after the date she went quiet where i was happy either way, one of the reasons why i try not to chat to women saying friends as it comes off a bit fake though i know this isn't true for the most.
I have also had a meet and we got on and the next week she rarely chatted on msn so i stopped messaging her as i lost interest. She wasn't making the effort so i couldn't be bothered to return it.
What i'm saying is we are all just as bad as each other, male and female but i am happy with my personality and there is some one out there for everyone so all good i'm not going to change. I have a date in a week with a nice girl and see where it takes me and either or i am signing off POF for a while to see if i can revive my interest.
Looking on the net for a date has becomes more of a habit than reality for me so a break is in order but thats just me, darn where is the kitkats when you need them.
Shame we can't ditch all this dating foreplay and go back to the caveman way of, "me like you, do you like me?" simple and job done lol
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Posted: 8/27/2008 3:27:36 AM | indrallias The games we play can we all become grown ups please!!!! if you like someone tell if you dont tell them simple if you want see them again tell them straight way no silly games how simple is that
Uban flower Yeh we the the nice girls on here would like to be wooed and court and then we may turn naughty lol
caveman would make a change no games there lol | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 3:45:00 AM | Msg.8: "thats what net dating is like"
I'm reminded of one of your replies to a post of mine yesterday. Words such as negative/positive, put down and derogatory come to mind. If such an outlook will yield no success with the ladies, will yours stand you any better with the men?
Sorry I am unable to highlight a quote in white, I don't know how it works. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 4:17:49 AM | Stay just as you are Urban Flower. Don't try to change things, continue being yourself and maybe forget about someone who isn't showing the same amount of interest or commitment that you require. Can't say I have had the too nice excuse...maybe I am not...
I really hate all these head games...how long until you contact after first date...how long until you have sex...how many times a day should you text... etc, etc.
If you like someone and they like you then both go for it people, sod the protocol! Go with your gut everytime. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 4:29:44 AM | well i think you just be the person you want to be...
Me i seem to be everymans, drinking buddie,,lol | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:12:53 AM | | Indiallias i,m not into playing head games with anyone.I,m not into messing with someones feelings or emotions either.If i have been on what i consider a good date i will message the person and thank them for a lovely time and if they want to have a 2nd date fine.I too have Friends on my profile but if someone reads it they will see that i,m saying friendship first and see what develops from there.I usually will have 3 dates with a person and if i,m still not feeling it after that then its time to be honest and tell them.yeah the caveman way was so much better lol. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:17:52 AM | | foxylady its confusing isn,t it!How can anyone be too nice!You get guys saying they want someone nice and normal yet when they get that they run a mile!Sometimes i think i will just get me a dog.Unconditional love, keeps my feet warm at night and the only games being played are running around the park with a ball! | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:29:41 AM | I figure you already know but just incase you don't it was only the first line that i was refering to you OP, the rest of the message was just general useless spam, spam, spam, spam, spam!!! Chicka bom, chicka bom, spam....
Sorry i'm bored, Good job the admins have me down to 5 a day messages only, you lucky people  | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:29:42 AM | This is just a theory, but it seems to be that all the nice guys are down south, while the north is full of twats 
Well maybe not full of twats, but I'd say that up north all the good men are already taken, whereas in the south it's the opposite of what you're getting. The men are the nice ones, and it's scaring off the girls 
I work in my local take-away and after recently dying my hair, this local girl started making compliments and asking me things like "what time do you work til?" and so on. So jokingly I replied with "Why you wanna know, you got something planned for me, you wanna hang out?". I said it jokingly, just in case she wasn't seriously interested in me, so I didn't want to upset her or anything.
Up until this point we were just simply on good terms, we didn't socialise or anything, just the occasional 'hello' in passing and the like. Her reaction to my enquiries was quite surprising, as she got all embarrassed and shy, so much so she went and stood outside the shop to hide from me heh.
She likes me more than she lets on, but she doesn't know how to handle such a situation.
The point of this story? Most single guys, while not bad people, are mostly nobheads and tossers, very selfish ones at that too. In todays society everyone is pretty much out for themselves, so dating isn't going to be any different.
As far as this local girl is concerned (and likely most girls and guys in her situation), they're used to being treated in a less than adequate manner. Not so much badly, just not as good as they could be treated (eg. given flowers now and again, paid compliments and guys helping girls out of cars holding their hands and such like). So when a gentleman/lady comes along it's quite the proverbial shock to them. Almost alien perhaps.
The local girl took it to quite an extreme, for reasons beyond me, she started calling me a pervert and dirty b*stard, even going out of her way to harrass me at work. She got so out of hand I had to set my local PCSO (Police Community Support Officer) onto her, which I didn't really want to do, but sadly it had to be done. I can only guess that she thought I must be being nice to her just to get in her undergarments.
The moral of the story here? As well as being shocked by someone being nice to you a lot of people, especially those who haven't much experience with relationships (eg they may of only had a couple or so), aren't too versed in the ways of life, and can be quite immature in how they handle things, especially if they panic as I think this girl I spoke to did.
Now after saying all that, it's a shame we don't live closer Miss Flower, as I'd happily take you out on a nice date for the day, if nothing more than to cheer you up and treat you like the lady you obviously are, if only for a day | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:41:05 AM | NortyTony ~~~ Im at a loss.
You see this girl in your local shop, tip her the wink etc she hides from you..
to me that dosent mean she dosent know how to handle it... it means shes not interested and trying to get away from you...
how on earth did it get to point of her calling you a pervert? for what? what did you do to warrent this? it seems in the previous paragraph youre saying you brought her flowers opened doors for her and treated her like a lady... and that resulted in her calling you a pervert a dirty **stard and harassing you at work? that just makes no sense... theres part of the story missing in this telling? | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:50:44 AM | Er... pardon?
I never said I gave her flowers or opened doors for her, they were examples of how a partner should be treated, at least that's how I'd treat a lady friend. In fact I always open doors for people, allow ladies to pass through as well as men, it's who I am, a genuine polite and nice guy.
As I also said in my post, I wasn't socialising with this girl, only being polite in passing. It was SHE who started being nicer to me than usual, and asking about when I finished work and stuff, so like I said, I tested the water so to speak by jokingly asking if she was asking due to wanting to hang out.
It was a week or so later that she suddenly out of the blue started calling me names and being verbally abusive towards me. No idea why, it was totally unexpected and not to mention uncalled for. I had seen her in the shop a couple of times since she was asking about me, and everything was fine, and we didn't even talk, aside from me taking her order.
The PCSO told me that he'd had to deal with her a few times in the past, and he thought she was an immature young woman and a bit of a trouble maker. Your guess is as good as mine as to why she went mental, maybe she just likes to upset people as her hobby, who knows... cos I don't. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:52:00 AM | NortyTony, you are a sweetheart! I cant believe that girl acted that way.Yes, the going a bit shy after what you said but to take it to the extremes she did is unbeleivable!Is it really so hard for people to accept niceness from another person!It,s just so sad. | |
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Posted: 8/27/2008 5:53:03 AM | This is just a theory, but it seems to be that all the nice guys are down south, while the north is full of twats
Well maybe not full of twats, but I'd say that up north all the good men are already taken, whereas in the south it's the opposite of what you're getting. The men are the nice ones, and it's scaring off the girls
How dare you make such a sweeping generalisation about men up north? Have you ever been here? Do you have anything to back that statement up?
The point of this story? Most single guys, while not bad people, are mostly nobheads and tossers, very selfish ones at that too.
Oh dear, undatable? Unhinged more like, no wonder the poor girl felt uneasy with your attentention, did you stereotype her as "asking for it"? after all she is female. | |
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