| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:05:23 AM | Hmmm...I don't see anything wrong with stating that I'm not attracted to pathological lying, cheating, drug-snorting F&%ktards. Some might find that refreshing in this day and age!  | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/9/2008 8:07:16 AM | Good advice, Jimbo. Someone who harps incessantly in their profile (and this goes for men too) about honesty, no players, no liars, no cheaters, etc. is someone who already has major trust issues and will never believe a word you say to them from the get-go.
Prepare to be accused of lying and cheating on a regular basis. Get ready to have your phone, your mail, your house and your computer snooped through regularly, looking for "proof." If that's the kind of life you want to live, then hook up with one of these people.
The other downside of putting up a profile like this is it attracts liars, cheaters and players like flies to roadkill. They see a profile like that as "bait." They think "this person is gullible enough to have fallen for it before, and they'll fall for it again." Put up a profile like that and you might as well stamp SUCKER across your forehead.
Normal people know that the fact that we don't want a liar or a cheat is a "given," and doesn't even warrant mentioning. I mean, who is going to think, "she didn't mention she doesn't like liars, so maybe she likes them!!!1!" Give me a break. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:14:22 AM | come on now gents....male profiles"good woman wanted" honest woman"
looking for some one with a good heart" bla bla bla
so both genders are guilty | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:16:33 AM | oh one more thing, who cares what is in someone's profile ..could be all lies...
guys are visual anyhow, if you like the pic you might just might read the profiles.
most and im saying "most" dont do it anyhow.
once you start talking to the person you can find out all about them. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/9/2008 5:57:16 PM | Mostly true...my profile says what I dont want...scares girls away. What I did want didnt interest them, they are only interested in what THEY want. I cant guess this stuff without being non committal.
I like Wildman46's writeup...he must have no problem with anything cause he is crazy honest and funny.
Point is...if we all have a pic...we get over the physical(you might not like my dreadlocks), if you like a bit of my profile, you might like a bit of me...thats enough. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/10/2008 2:52:22 AM | Ok now from a guy to other guys... I seen it a few times. You knocking on women who add the statement somewher eon thier profile "Looking for a real man" or "i need a man who can be real"
Youre syaing "oh yeah im not a cartoon laugh laugh laugh"
no. 'real' as in 'not a poser' Somebody who doesnt act all nice and stuff at first only to get in thier opants and dump them later, or be a gentleman at first and then end up dropping the act once they 'have her' and becoming some arrogant prick.
Dont bother insulting my 'spelling' because i recently got an A in composition II in college, i just fail at typing :P | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/10/2008 4:03:15 AM | Why bother posting the negatives? Isn't the profile to be informative about you and what you want?
"no game player" or any other negativity in a profile is a red flag for me? It makes me think that person is negative as well. Most of us have been hurt, used, abused or whatever, but we need to focus on the positive. Besides I have never seen a serious profile that admits to being any of those negative things! I'm looking for a smiling face   | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/11/2008 7:49:43 PM | | I also wish most women would stop using the "I want someone to make me laugh" or something to that effect. If you want someone to make you laugh all the time, date a clown ! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/11/2008 7:57:27 PM | | Women please, don't claim to be a few pounds overweight when your picture is showing that you are at least 50 to 100 pounds overweight. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:24:34 AM | | SmilingOne I think your absolutely right Its all about positive thinking: You only get what you put out... If you know what I mean (and thats not meant sexually, just lettin yas know) | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 6:17:07 AM | I find the guys that post "no drama" are usually the ones who can't have a relationship without it. But then again, what person would come out and say "I want drama..lots of it" If I see the word drama in a guy's profile-I run | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:45:23 PM | Hahahahah.
You hit the nail on the head, OP. Quotes like that, especially the "no games" one make me want to respond back with a "so, not even a quick game of blackjack" or somethin sarcastic like that hah. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 6:23:22 PM | | Agree 100%, it's like being scolded without even doing anything wrong. Even if these comments are included in either the male or female profiles is it really going to prevent it from happening? Anybody can say yeah yeah don't worry I wont do that but how do you know? I don't know whether you would classify these types of comments are going on the defense or offense but either way it sets off a red flag. I was once referred to a lady from a friend so I called her up and oh man it was "I expect this" and "I expect that" not even a "it's nice to hear from you" or anything. In haste I agreed to meet this lady but when my brain unwound about 30 minutes later I called her back up and told her I had changed my mind. She said "fine" and slammed the phone. Whew! I'm still alive at least! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 6:41:29 PM | Guys say exactly the same thing and I have exactly the same reaction as you do. I wonder, do they think someone is reading their profile and thinking, "Oh, I like to play head games, guess I better pass this one by." Right.
No, look for someone who is confident and states what they are looking for, someone who sounds interesting and fun to be with. Skip the rest. They aren't worth the bother. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:00:57 PM | Hear hear!
I laugh when I read, "No game players - move on - will save us a lot of trouble."
The first time I read that, I cracked up and said to my best friend sitting next to me (also on the site), "Oh man! And I really, really wanted to play mind games and stuff and mess up someone's life, but (heavy sigh), he told me not to. Better click the back button."
Puh-leeze.
The ironic thing about those kinds of profiles, after getting to know a couple of those guys despite their warnings, is that they are usually WAY hung up on an ex and don't want a new woman in their life to start over with, but just need someone with no self-esteem and who think the best they can do is to be audience to his woes and excessive discussions about how horrid SHE was and how much he misses her - all while talking out the other side of his mouth saying he's looking to meet "the one."
What - EVer. 
Those warnings are just projections as far as I'm concerned. Nobody will play games like the ones who say "don't play them on ME."
I don't have the time or interest for that. Life's too short and I'd rather enjoy it with someone who makes me laugh than with someone who needs a babysitter for his fragile heart. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I want to be a girlfriend and a lover, not a therapist (beyond our mutual chaos that is).
At least they warned me what they're really about in their sideways way, so I don't waste my time on that type anymore. Gotta thank them for that! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 12/13/2008 7:29:10 AM | | When I read that crap on a man's profile I stay away. If it's on his mind, he's still dealing with it, and to me it means he has lots of left over baggage. Big red flag!!!! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:42:50 PM | | Well, Then I should feel flattered you added me as one of your favorites! :) | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:07:45 PM |
When I read those statements in a profile, I hesitate to respond to it. There are two reasons why I hesitate . One, I don't see a positive message
I always instruct people to put positive stuff in their profiles. Also it's illogical to ask for the not negative. You might have to think about this one!
We get it. Try putting what you do want on your profile. That would be a step in the right direction.
Why bother posting the negatives? Isn't the profile to be informative about you and what you want? "no game player" or any other negativity in a profile is a red flag for me? ... we need to focus on the positive.
This is pretty much how I feel. I love positive-oriented profiles. :) I would love to know what you DO want, rather than what you DON'T want. I would rather read a long list of what you're looking for, than a short list of what you "hate" or "don't want" or whatever. I guess I just optimistically think that anyone who reads my profile (and likes it) gets a sense of who I am and what I'm looking for (I don't think I've put any "what I DON'T want" comments in my profile), and would only be attracted to my profile if they are looking for something similar. :)
I for one do not find it funny pathetic or sad as many of you have stated that people write these types of statements in their profile. Some are just trying to express what they desire in a mate and there are people that still wish upon a star.
Yeah, agreed. Lots of "that's PATHETIC" or "that drives me NUTS!" comments in this thread... I hope we can extend grace to anyone whose profile contains these "don't want" comments. I am assuming they are doing the best they can in expressing what kind of person they are looking for, and if they are writing something about what they "don't want", who am I to judge that as "a bad thing"? :) Maybe that's just an optimistic person who really does think their "don't wants" comments will turn off the "liars", "cheaters", "fake people", etc. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. Who knows. :) | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:20:56 PM | I had to read the facetious War and Peace profile ... at least you covered all the bases!
This thread has been an interesting read ... in fact, a couple of threads have been far more enlightening than checking out profiles while trying to guess who really wants to meet someone ... haven't figured out how to weed out the chatters though, but one day hopefully! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:28:43 PM | I feel after being on this earth 45 years i can state quite openly what i want in a man. not because of previous bad experiances, but because i have earned the right. i work hard, make good money, am confident in myself and want a similar partner. if my reqirements scare you off..then you are not what i am looking for, and i am content to wait! | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:25:31 PM | Everybody writes their profile to express what they are looking for in a relasionship.
sometimes they write what they are not looking for also. this is usually based on past relationships. If a person writes that they don't want liars and you have a tendoncy towards fantasy world then perhaps they are tell YOU not to waste your valubale dating time with them. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:38:08 PM | | I agree with you. Men do the same thing and it is such a turn-off. They sound like these poor little victims. Plus, as you said, so negative. Not my cup of tea. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:20:33 PM | I totally agree with acttwo, we all do it, if we left out the few negatives we'd be left with.....................................................impossibly positive?????? Don't know about anyone else but totally positive is like a squeaky clean home.....................scares the hell outta me!!!!!!! We've all lived, been hurt, maybe even done some harm of our own, the point is it isn't ALL positive just like no one can possibly Luuuuuuuuuuuuv everything. It's really easy, if you don't like what you read, just move on. | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:34:26 PM | To be honest ... what CAN you put on a profile header that hasn't already been said a million times before?
"It's raining purple cottage cheese in Tujunga." | |
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| Just Stop It!
Posted: 1/27/2009 12:46:50 PM | To understand the purpose of putting negative's in a profile, you first have to run into people that believe it is ok to be who they are, no matter who they are.
Laugh if you will but I have not had positive experiences with 2 pack a day smokers who drink 5 large coffee a day to replace their alcohol addiction. Their skin tastes like coffee and ashtrays!
Those that are looking to medications, both legal and illegal, just to wake up in the morning and not consider harming themselves or others...very common!
If you think a person is thinking about it when they put it in their profile...THEY ARE. Walk by if you want but if you want someone who has their head in the clouds or is lying to you...go for the Disneyland profiles.
"No games" is bull, it doesnt help. | |
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