| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 8:48:09 AM |
Surely, at my age, men will have learned how to please a woman?
And the reason they haven't learned is because they get so darned defensive when their sexual skills and knowledge are criticized, as demonstrated by all these posts from offended men!
Thank you for the entertainment and all that advice! 
P.S. Hint....PC muscle/ Learn to use it. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:01:18 AM |
And the reason they haven't learned is because they get so darned defensive when their sexual skills and knowledge are criticized, as demonstrated by all these posts from offended men!
Thank you for the entertainment and all that advice!
P.S. Hint....PC muscle/ Learn to use it.
Surely. Comparing a male orgasm to a female orgasm is the base of your argument.
"Why are men so horrible in bed? I make them cum, so why can't they make ME cum?"
Good questions Surely. And as a woman your age, i'm surely sure that you'd know the male anatomy enough to know that it's not hard for a guy to come. The same boring strokes over and over and over again are plenty enough stimulation to eventually bring a man to orgasm.
It's more of "a new face" doing it, than the act itself.
That said. I've read a lot about sex and on these forums. Yes, I'm a virgin. So I *must* obviously have no idea what I'm talking about, but from what I gather, bringing a woman to orgasm is much more complex.
While you can simply grab a man's d*ck and start pumping until he comes, a man cannot simply penetrate you and thrust until you achieve orgasm. There are a multitude of stimuli, and women need to be built up to their goal much more finely than a man.
Furthermore, every woman has different actuators. Some women love having their anal probed with curious fingers while having oral sex performed on them; others detest such an act. For man, there's no way to distinguish if you'd like a finger up your bum while getting eaten out.
There are more 'general' things that all women can agree on that are good and stimulating: such as suckling of the breasts. But a woman's anatomy varies from person to person enough to know that a touch that will bring a woman to explosive orgasm on this spot of the body, will do absolutely nothing for another woman.
The quicker you can understand this concept, the more understanding you can be of men who are "horrible" in bed. Don't blame men, blame the complexity of your vagina and your mixed levels of stimuli required to get you off. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:15:00 AM |
I have had many lovers. Many of those lovers did not know how to please me.
When I read this it made me wonder if you may have had "so many" because you in someway voiced/showed this complaint to the partner in a way that made them feel inadequate?
Just keep it simple ... no sex is bad sex ... if you [bold]really think about it. Whats bad is [bold]NO SEX![/bold]
Stop complaining. If you find that someone does not float your boat get another skipper. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:25:14 AM |
I can say in all honesty that I have never been with a man who did not orgasm. I would consider that as proof that he enjoyed himself. Can any woman claim the same consistent success?
I'd dare to guess all or almost all women can "claim the same consistent success." I don't consider getting a man off to be any great feat. Taking him to the brink and backing off, maybe... or multiple orgasms... and I'm talking more than 2.
Women could lay there like a limp noodle and a lot of guys would still get off so just cuz a man had one don't make you an exceptional talent. | |
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Gators
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 55 | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:36:55 AM |
Stop complaining.
I am absolutely not complaining.
Luckily I am a good communicator and a good teacher and I have no problem 'pitching in'.
The teaching is a joy. Communication is often one sided and cooperation is imperative, but....we get there!
Many of those lovers did not know how to please me.
Here is the big question and answer it honestly? How many of you men actively and sensitively communicate during sex and how many of you men know how to delay your orgasm? | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:42:40 AM |
And all of you men are so very different...right?
Actually we are. Perhaps, an inability to see the differences between, is contributing to your problem. Some men are bigger, smaller, thicker, thinner, more sensitive, less sensitive...
Number of past partners makes no difference... An eager willing learner, is much better than someone who has a repertoire of what worked with everyone else...
In truth, what works for one woman may or may not work for another. Some women can have an orgasm with a kiss, others require hours of concentrated effort... Not everyone is the same...
Then too, body parts are different. One person may rub you just the right way, because they are shaped that way... Its not something that can be learned...
What YOU do in your spare time may affect your orgasms too.... Too much time spent with a vibe can 'numb' or desensitise your genitals... No man can compete with thousands of strokes a minute of a Hitachi Magic Wand... don't expect the same responses... if you get to used to pleasing yourself, you teach your body what to respond too...It's the same for men too...
It's the same with men. A woman may know how to please many men, but if she doesn't know what works for others she may never get it right without the right kinds of communication...Even how you express it to a guy may make a difference...
"If you try this, I might like it..." is a lot better than 'The last guy did this to me..."
Also, to a certain degree, we're each responsible for our own orgasm too... I'm sure if men totally relied on the women to provide it, the number of men who didn't orgasm would be comparable to the numbers of women who didn't orgasm...
Finally, who is supposed to 'teach' these men? Have you taught any? Have you got friends that have taught any? If not, then don't complain....
We learn from the feedback you give us. Same as you do... We don't sit around and discuss it among our guy friends.... | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:46:11 AM |
Here is the big question and answer it honestly? How many of you men actively and sensitively communicate during sex and how many of you men know how to delay your orgasm?
If the sex is bad it's always the man's fault for not being a sex-god.
As a man, you must study the art of kama-sutra. Every position, every detail must be written down.
As a man, you must be athletic and skilled enough to perform every one of these sex acts flawlessly and pleasurably.
As a man, you must perform the sexual exercises that can eventually give you the ability pop a boner out of sheer will-power, and the delaying of orgasm as well.
As a man, you must speak articulately and accurately as to validate to the woman he is actually trying to please her. "OH GOD YOUR P*SSY IS SO TIGHT" is not sufficient. "Yes ma'am, of course ma'am. I'll take out the garbage when I'm finished ma'am" will suffice.
If you fail to perform -any- one of these duties, you fail as a male sexually, and you would be doing women a favor by castrating yourself with a butcher knife.
So it has been spoken - and so it shall be written - so it shall be. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:50:26 AM | | this is a great forum so many men think they are the world's greastest lover, what a joke most are just so average, not even having a clue...........or maybe my expectation are just to high. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:59:26 AM | Middle aged single people always know what to say. They have the experience of "Many Lovers" and such.
I think that if I had all of those bad experiences I would become a switch hitter and play for the other team.
Please drop out of the Hetero population and realize why your single.
Thanx
worlds worst lover | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:00:31 AM |
this is a great forum so many men think they are the world's greastest lover, what a joke most are just so average, not even having a clue...........or maybe my expectation are just to high.
I'm with you and LMAO! Even the "virgin" is offended! All these men keep trying to offend me because they're offended...and its' not working.
Not one man has answered my simple questions, which I believe are the two factors most important in a man who does know how to do it! One more time!
How many of you men actively and sensitively communicate during sex and how many of you men know how to delay your orgasm? | |
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iris43
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 64 | |
| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:06:36 AM | | Its not about how many lovers you have had, its about feeling secure enough with your partner that you are able to communicate what it is that turns you on. There are many relationships that never reach this kind of intimacy. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:07:37 AM |
How many of you men actively and sensitively communicate during sex and how many of you men know how to delay your orgasm?
Put your egos away and learn to do the above. It isn't any more difficult that that! | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:11:25 AM | Offended? Yes, but not by what you're saying. Your logic is what is offensive.
Your question is a trap. As Admiral Ackbar would say. The question pre-supposes that if you do not do those things, you're not doing your part in the bedroom.
No, I don't know how to delay my orgasm. Though thinking about my grandma naked does a good job of it. I've never had the chance to communicate during sex; I've never had it.
I could shoot right back and say: "Do you do the kiegal's(spelling?) exercises to strengthen the muscles and elasticity in your vagina?"
But I don't, because I wouldn't be so pretentious to think that is what makes a woman good in bed.
And yes, most men are just 'average' in bed. That's why it's called 'average'. Everyone wants to think they're good in bed. Even the women. You're not. You're average too.
Me, I personally know It's going to be absolutely terrible sex for the 'lucky' girl that gets to pop my cherry. That's why I plan to tell her I have no clue what I'm doing, and begin the session with oral sex, me going down on her.
Do I want to offend you?
No. I'd prefer to simply humble you into understanding a very level-headed possibility of why you're having 'bad sex'.
Also, maybe offend you a little, in the sense that maybe you should think you're not such the hot piece of ass you seem to imply throughout your posts.
If I give every man i've been with an orgasm I'm a sex goddess
I've given every man I've been with an orgasm
Therefore I'm a sex goddess.
Your argument is valid, but your premises are skewed. Giving a man an orgasm does not mean you are good in bed. The most that can be surmised is that you're "average". | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:27:37 AM |
Me, I personally know It's going to be absolutely terrible sex for the 'lucky' girl that gets to pop my cherry. That's why I plan to tell her I have no clue what I'm doing, and begin the session with oral sex, me going down on her.
How about just trying to communicate with some sensitivity. Ask her what she likes and listen, instead of just 'diving in face first'. Learn how to delay your orgasm because I'll guarantee that you'll need to your first time. Psssst....PC muscle.
Then your first time may be enjoyable for both of you.
BTW...I am not offended or humbled...just happily average with the ability and determination to overcome natural shyness and communicate my desires both vocally and demonstratively, and therefore enable and also enjoy an orgasm.
Furthermore, I'm really enjoying this thread! | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:31:09 AM | | ^^ Well. Saying that "I have no idea what I'm doing." Would be her Q to take the reigns and drive my tongue to the designated yum-yum spots. Delaying an orgasm for a male isn't as easy as you make it out to be either. It's more of a lot of practice and 'exercise' on a regular basis. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:37:21 AM |
Delaying an orgasm for a male isn't as easy as you make it out to be either. It's more of a lot of practice and 'exercise' on a regular basis.
Practice makes perfect and what fun you can have in the learning process!
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:00:29 AM |
I have had many lovers. Many of those lovers did not know how to please me.
Ok...
Before we go any further, what is your definition of "many lovers"? And what ratio did not please you?
One person's "many" may be 5 lovers, while another's may be in the hundreds... 2 out of 5 while a large ratio is not a valid number for analysis... While 90 out of 95 would be...
Finally, you do realise that first time sex is rarely very good... It usually takes several sessions for a couple to become comfortable enough with each other to truly enjoy sex... If you're basing performance on one night stands it's vastly different to sex days, weeks or even months into a relationship.... | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:04:12 AM | op, instead of wasting so much time arguing with others, could you do every body a favor? Write down what you'd like your lover to do with your body? A simple instruction the process is similar to what you do to please yourself plus possible mouth of your partner.
If you can articulate your desire, I'm sure some guy will follow the manual. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:11:34 AM | A man getting off on you doesnt mean he enjoyed it. You obviously have no idea what the real pleasure is for a man and you assume its something as simple as that.
Fact is thats the climax, but their is alot a woman can do to enhance how we feel during it so we dont 'rush to the end' and just 'get it over with'
Ive done it, i was in a relationship and after awhile she just layed there and did nothing, expecting to be pleasured, i felt like well if you just want to get off, then i guess i do too. Too bad for her it takes her so long, but thats not my problem, she doesnt try to please me, so why shld i bother pleasing her.
After that incident i said cya later, when you learn what passion really is maybe you can give me a call sometime and we can try dating again, otherwise, im totally turned off.
Had she spent 2 seconds trying something new, i guarantee i would of initiated something else new as well, however, she put all the responsibility on me, did nothing and got nothing in return and that serves her right.
Men are not slaves to women for their sexual pleasure, its a two way street and the sooner women realize that the happier both sides will be.
Now dont tell me men dont ask for new things in sex, i frequently suggested many new ways and in the end i was the only one making the suggestions. | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:19:52 AM |
I'm with you and LMAO! Even the "virgin" is offended! All these men keep trying to offend me because they're offended...and its' not working.
I am not offended not even close you could not oddend me if you tried, most of the posts here are very intelligent and true, just read them, sounds like the real problem is on your end and I feel sorry because apparently you can't get a guy to open up to you or you are not with him long enough for them to open up.
Not one man has answered my simple questions, which I believe are the two factors most important in a man who does know how to do it! One more time!
I think OT if the question was reversed with me anyway I would bet you could not please me "why you ask" you don't know me other than another guy who like everyother guy gets a few strokes in and gets off "WRONG".
I am not stating this out of frustration of the thread and the allegations of all these guys you state are upset, for me there is no need to get upset, yes a few strokes might make me c*m but once again as I stated earlier am I going to be happy, satisfied, NO period. The real question at hand is not why guys are not answering but if you want to here them or me admit or say that most guys do not know a lot about sex it is simple I will admit it show me what to do and test or quiz me on what I learned.
AS HAS BEEN SAID IN THE PAST THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BORN LOVER ...... | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:26:01 AM | The last few posts demonstrate exactly why so many men just don't know how to do it.
Their egos just won't let them listen!
One last time.....Learn to communicate with sensitivity and learn how to delay your orgasm. These are the key elements necessary to best please any woman, and so few men know this.
Can you hear me now? | |
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| so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:28:49 AM | Okay, goodquestion, I have to call you on this one. Just because a guy cums does not mean he orgasms? Are you serious and do you have a reference book for me to look to? I have orgasmed every time I came, I am sure, otherwise what was all that shaking and lightheadedness? I'm not saying you're full of sh1t but it sounds a little like "I got drunk but didn't drink anything."
Women vary so much on orgasms, my first ex, maybe once every three times we were together, the girlfriend after her never had an orgasm at age 29, in the four months I was with her I managed to give her one and believe me, I worked for that boy scout badge. There has been a few, I'd say three, that I could count on them having multiple orgasms every time, some that would only once. I work very hard to make my girl happy, her climaxing is just as important to me as having one myself. Some are easier than others to please, some more inhibited (like my first ex), I do my best and never hang my head in shame, neither of them. | |
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