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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:26:39 PM | Considering I haven't had any in ages(I've been alone tooooo long), I'd have to say that yes, sex is important to me..but I can't remember why!  Seriously though, I do miss the intimacy with someone I care deeply about who returns those feelings. I'm way past the one night stand stuff..I feel I and the other person are worth more than that. Meaningless sex is easy to find.. sex in a good relationship..still looking! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:38:42 PM | I'm sure I've answered this question 6 to 10 pages ago. My answer is still "YES". Sex is important. I'm not going back to look. A helluva lot of good it does me, one way or another, if I think sex is important or not. The pickins' are slim. And to find a suitable person to have sex with?.............that's the 64 million dollar question!
Most guys, my age, have been there, done that, got the T-shirt...It's called ED................a fancy smancy term for......... they can't get it up if their life depends on it...........See what you younger ladies have to look forward to?
'Course, I've probably just done myself outta a ......"one in a million" date from here, because of this post. I guess I'll just have to suck it up! Like I'm thinkin' I'm going to find a date here? ...........Swamp land is easier to buy. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:20:27 PM |
Most guys, my age, have been there, done that, got the T-shirt...It's called ED................a fancy smancy term for......... they can't get it up if their life depends on it...........See what you younger ladies have to look forward to?
Your dance card may be empty now, but to say that most men your age "can't get it up if their life depends on it", suggests that you (1) have threatened men to perform for you, on pain of death, and they failed, (2) have personally tested most of the world's men close to your age (you missed this, btw), or (3) your TV told you this, through all the ads for ED drugs, and you swallowed that pitch whole.
UNLESS, you can actually produce or point to an authoritative source (which would be one NOT underwritten by a large pharmaceutical company), that has performed its own testing, and the research methods have been condoned by the FDA, or better yet, some more legitimate but independent agency. I would request a definitive source, as absolute in its findings as your post is worded, but I believe that may be unreasonable to request.
Your profile shows you to have a graduate degree, offered up, presumably, to evidence your ability to think before speaking.
Your post here suggests otherwise.
Look, I don't doubt that you have run into possible lovers whose sexual organs were less than erect in your presence, whether they have reached your age or not. There could be alot of reasons for that, only one of which is the fault of the men you entertained.
But I, personally, am sick to death of posts spewing this BS, without any citation to authority. If the men in your world, from your own experience with them, are unable to penetrate you, well, sucks to be you. I am sorry to hear that.
When you trumpet your beliefs to other women in this particular pool, especially the "younger ladies" who may read your poison, then you become the problem, polluting the awareness of others, much like the outgoing US administration, which seemed to believe that if a baseless allegation is repeated frequently enough, most people will accept it as true. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:28:37 PM | | It's more important to me now than ever. I am like a fine wine...I have gotten better as I have gotten older! I also now realize that the best sex organ is what's between your ears, if you know what I mean... | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/9/2009 11:04:51 PM | There are too many variables in a long term,mutually loving, respectful, relationship to base the entire relationship only on the topic of sex. If my man and I meet the myriad of relationship qualities needed between us then I have to state "no" the lack of sexual intercourse will not be the defining decision making factor for me. I cherish the man and value the love and can let the lack of actual intercourse go the wayside and be fulfilled in the many other ways of a truly loving long term relationship. Love has many facets and the ability to say okay, we can't do that, and not begrudge it, defines that there is true honest love.  | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/10/2009 6:10:43 AM | "Wow, only one response from a man. I wonder what all the older men who are unable to function because of BP from obesity, diabetes, etc. actually do. There must be women out there that are satisfied with a sexless relationship , ."
Yep. They just aren't answering this survey.
Yeah, I wish I could find one of those non-superstud kind of guys! I'll admit to some inadequacy in that area and I have always felt it has made me socially crippled. I stayed in an ill-matched marriage because I didn't think I could 'satisfy' anyone else.
I find sex to be a physical skill like bike-riding, tennis etc. Some are just better than others. And certainly as a young girl in a certain time we were not "taught" to be good at that skill. Within 3 years (1965-1968) it went from "being a virgin is great" to "you should be into Free Love". And there wasn't much of a way to acquire the training.
Which is not to say, I wouldn't be OK with meeting someone who was a good teacher! But that would have to be a person who was not a Super Stud who thought of sex-on-demand as a natural right of every male!
Perhaps an older man with less intense desire would be more 'at my level'. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:59:00 AM |  hell yeah,its justs as important,if not more now that your seasoned you are ready to embark on an endless journey of fufilment that you wouldn;t experience in the pass,because of your youthfulness or ignorance to the body the oh so sensual body! I AM 50 and i would never consider a sexless life style! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:59:49 PM | I think there are a lot of middle-aged people "whistling in the graveyard" about their sex-life. Pretty much every older male friend that I have discussed this issue with has said his libido isn't what it was 20 or 30 years ago, which is a stark contrast to the content of this thread. But then again, P.O.F. forums aren't exactly famous for truth or accuracy . . .
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 1/12/2009 7:10:40 PM | Sex for the sake of sex, not important IMO.. Intimacy is more important to me, which could or could not include the sexual act.
As a matter of fact, it has been so long, I may have forgotten how, although once you learn to ride a bike, you never forget  | |
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mp2314
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Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 437 | |
| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/5/2009 5:26:30 AM | Absolutely - as important to me as it "once was".
Sure I've lived hiatus and also know breakfast.
Anyone can live without it, few have absolutely all their choices.
People can also live with it, without being subjugated.
Enjoying sex for the sake of sex? Oh, heavens, must one get 3rd party approval for everything - always? I guess I really don't "get" why people would act without feeling right, not be self-examining, would bother with anyone whom they didn't "feel" was right (or would require sanction from strangers). Anyway, no reason to service anyone-NO. But not dead - Like to know a man, a right man. I like to be in sway to a powerful kindness, intense, communicative: life-stirring. Do I need to procreate? No. Geez, being of the opinion that such things are as important as they "once were" doesn't mean one is eschews intimacy or self-respect.
Is sex as important as it once was? oh, yes.
Is it a requirement to be friends? No. Intimacy has many-many faces; sex is an expression, but not the only one.
Would I spend all my time with someone who was content without it? That would be a profound choice, which I do not have to make. Those who must choose should be respected; those who are not in that position, don't have to play those absolutes.
Do I see anyone who implies requirement or causes me humilation? No.
The implication that to have it, one has to be without intimacy is such a small idea - so is implying those who hold it important must be contrite and above all, live only in the past. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:41:14 AM | As important, Yes...as likely to happen, No - this being due to the fact that "emotional" needs to be involved (their rule, not mine), whereas in my younger days "willing" was about the only vital criteria. Now having had both over the years, I would absolutely choose love sex over just sex sex anytime. Having been a POFisherman for the last 3 yrs., there's not just a whole lotta love going around...feel kind of lucky when one of the numerous dinner dates actually leads to a 2nd date! So therefore here I am, a man looking for love...but yet, still sleepin' w/the puppy dog! 
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good "once" as I ever was! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/6/2009 8:17:41 AM | | I tend to steer clear of guys that list sex as an interest in their profile. We all know it is important, we don't need to have it beat over our head that guys think with their penis. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/7/2009 12:21:11 PM | Yes...sex is an important part of a relationship. At my age, however, I realize that it's not the end all do all of the relationship. When I was younger, it was at least 90% of my world aside from work and kids. Now that I'm older I'm very picky about who I'm going to have sex with. I can live without it but if I have the choice, I'd rather live with it..... | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/7/2009 2:06:36 PM | | More important. Probably because it's something I don't want do on my own. Not that I haven't. It's just one of the desire's I still have. If there isn't a connection though, I wouldn't come back for seconds, but give up trying? Nope. Settle for lame. Nope. I can do pretty much anything I want on my own, or at least learn how to, but sex? Too important not to share. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/7/2009 7:15:25 PM | | It's very important and enjoy it a lot more now as I'm older at 48. A lot less worries, kid is grown, so it's awesome. Can't wait to have some more. lol Horny as heck, think about it all the time. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/8/2009 12:19:19 AM | | Definitely. I've been told in another forum that it's great for us women in the 40's, didn't get any report from those 50+. I would definitely consider a relationship with a "less frequent" sex life than what I had years ago because it would certainly be a lot "more frequent" than the last 10 years have been. There's got to be more to the relationship though than just being compatible between the sheets. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:06:23 AM | | Of course sex is important - it's the connection between two people who want to share their most intimate selves and i want alot more than a hug & kiss goodnite - I can get that from my Son, a friend, relative etc.....I believe it keeps you young and in touch with each other. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/8/2009 11:11:56 AM | Sexual appitite has to do with your partner. Visa versda, The fire will be there if the fuel is tossed on.
We get comfortable as we get older, our kisses may not be as passionate, our foreplay may go the way of the Mamoth, we get lazy, and if there isn't a medical reason or clogged arteries then we should work our way back into the foreplay and teasing and things we used to do to arouse each other and try something new. | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:52:56 AM | | You know, I guess I will out myself here. I am a 62 year old diabetic who has had bouts of ED. I actually thought it wqas hopeless and that I was destined to be single. I was in a long term marraige where my partner wasn't interested in sex. Then I met this wonderful woman who figured out that I was running off to the bathroom to inject myself with alprostadil before we made love and she asked me to stop and just relax. She reserched the internet and found some natural supplements (maca and viper) that I started taking and she was very patient with me until it approached the wild passionate stage and I did not need the Viagra or alprostadil anymore. Now I wake up with wood every morning. I feel that a lot of this is self confidence issues and medication. Women, if you meet a special guy who has this problem (many of us do and hide it with Viagra, Cialis, Levitra or alprostadil), take your time and work with us to develop a full and lasting sexual relationship. Most of us are as nervous or more so the first time we have sex...we are always wondering "will it work this time?" We have those performance issues, whereas you are more concerned about what we will think about your bodies. Believe me, unless it is 2:00am, the bar is closing and we are drunk, we have already scoped out your body and it fits within our range or else we wouldn't be where we are. So, bottom line, take your time, make us comfortable and lets have some fun! And guys, there are times when whatever we try, it just will not come to attention. Doesn't mean we cannot still satisfy our women with oral or our hands or just cuddling! Just relax and whatever will be will be! If you don't worry about it as much, then things will happen. From a guy who has been there! | |
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| Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:50:03 AM |
I`m just curious how aging has effected your sexual appetite, and if good and satisfying sex would be considered imperitive to you in a relationship, and has it`s level of importance when weighing the value of a relationship changed? Would you consider a sexless or less frequent or lower quality sex life now , which you might not have considered when you were younger?
My amount of appetite has changed several times over the years. This is one reason I don't care for younger men; I assume they're going through the same pressure zones of college, start a family, get career rolling, and learn more about themselves that can dampen (or throw a couple out of synch) sexual appetite. I was a 'freaky' 20-something, career/child-raising focused 30-something, and finally learning to love and share 40-something.
Sex has several purposes in a relationship (touch, tension release, expression of love, etc) and I've learned over the years that it is very important to me. Too important to want to build a relationship with a man who is not compatible sexually. Due to illness my, then, husband was unable to participate in some of my favorite 'menu items' but it made us more creative. While it was not a reason for the divorce, I learned how much I wanted those items back on the menu.
I would not consider a sexless or less frequent, or lower quality sex life now. Sexual compatibility is way up on my list of 'must haves' in a relationship. I've broken up with more than one man because we were not compatible.
Other threads have argued 'why would you leave someone you love just because of sex'? Wrong assumption. On that mental checklist to decide if I 'love' someone, I would never get to the point of loving him if the sex wasn't good. (If, however, at some point in the future, after I've committed to him, he loses function I would not leave. As in my marriage, the commitment is for better or worse. Back to 'where theres a will there's a way').
OTOH, when all the other qualities on that mental checklist (kindness, integrity, energy, etc) have been checked and the sex/love-making is good, I fall. Hard.
And I have. | |
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